Hi, How’s it going? I hope you’re having a good day.
Have you been out in the stores lately? I can’t believe how, even in this economy, people are flooding the stores to buy Christmas presents! But it’s getting crazy out there! Lines are really getting to be long, which really frustrates me when I have to wait so long just to buy one thing!
I’m sure you’ve experienced the same frustration.
Anyway, onto today’s topic: A warning for the holidays.
Speaking of shopping…Here’s how it relates to bipolar disorder:
If your loved one has had an episode in the past where they overspent or spent frivolously, then you should already have made a plan to protect your finances. So the warning is to keep your
eye on your loved one’s spending at this holiday time.
It would be too easy for them to get involved in all the excitement in the Christmas sales, the store promotions, etc. And this could very easily push them into a bipolar manic episode, which is something you do NOT want to be dealing with right now.
The only way for you to protect your finances at this time is to be proactive, and limit the amount of money which your loved one has access to. You still want them to be able to go Christmas shopping and spend some money on their own, but you can at least limit it.
Here’s what I DON’T suggest: Giving them the credit card and just telling them the limit they can spend. It would be too easy, once they had access to it, to max out your card, and you’re running a risk here. You’re better off just giving them cash, which is a finite amount of money.
When they run out, they run out.
Another suggestion is to make a list. Have your loved one make a list of everything they need to get. Figure the amount of money they will need according to that list. Having a list should help them to be self-directed and restrained, if they only get what’s on the list.
You could also use this list to determine how much money they will need (or, if they are buying
for you, ask them how much money they will need – within reason, of course). This way you won’t end up like this one couple I know.
He has bipolar disorder, and in the past has had a problem with excessive spending. He wasn’t really manic at the time that his wife gave him the debit card. He said he had just a few things to
pick up, but they were to be a surprise for her. She told him not to go over a certain amount of money (according to what they had in the bank).
Unfortunately, he got caught up in all the excitement at the store, and he spent beyond that limit, putting them into overdraft. Needless to say, his wife was rather upset when she found out how much he had spent. When she confronted him, her husband could give no reasonable explanation for why he spent over his limit.
That’s why the idea of giving your loved one cash to work with, and limiting the amount, is a good idea. Then you won’t go through what this couple went through.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
dear sir, I have bipolar disorder. AND I THINK YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF PEOPLE. THIS SITE SHOULD BE OUTLAWED I will do everything to report you.
First of all, never ever EVER give your bipolar loved one your debit or credit card to use at any time, under any circumstances…why would you want to trigger them? Especially at the holidays, spending recklessly in all the stores is always a trigger for me. I stay away from malls unless I have to buy a specific gift for a specific person. Then I have a supporter or friend accompany me to make sure I only purchase that one gift. I only go to the store in which I plan to purchase that specific gift. No “window shopping” for me…it is a trigger, the word “Sale” is a trigger in itself! Many bipolar folks have poor spending habits, particularly at Christmas time. Self-awareness is the key to circumventing this habit. Out of sight, out of mind. And stay OFF the “Shopping Channel”…have a loved one block it for you if necessary, and tell them not to give you the code. Good luck all!!!!
If you prefer to use a credit card (it makes tracking easier if necessary) I suggest a separate card for the person with bi-polar with a low limit which they can max if they want to and can afford to.
I have 1 question
Does anybody know the reason why people with bipolar can not control themselves about spending money?I mean when u know u can not afford one thing,what makes you think you should buy it? Im asking because i think if i know the reason why,it would be easier for me to support my spouse.
hello, mr. dave
i am bi-polar as well as a few other things.you are right about not giving a bi-polar person a debit or credit card.my husband has learned that the hard way.becouse i have drained his account more than once.the real problem is that when i spend money,its on the slot machines.which is a thousand times worse than shopping.if i was shopping, i at least would have something to show for it.i also have blown my entire paycheck quite a few times.
my husband and i have started to give me tough love. i have my check directed deposited into his account each week.he gives me just what money i need for the day.if there is something i want or need i ask for it.its kinda degrading to have to do this, but i know that i cant handle my finances any more.being bi-polar, its hard to keep things in perspective and to not be ill tempered or resentful towards my husband.he is pretty anal when it comes to money.
back to the holiday thing.i hate shopping, so i dont look forward to the holidays.my kids are grown now, so i just cheat and give them money so they can do theyre own shopping.ok, enough bla-bla for now. thank you
Hi: This is for Burcu:
The reason bipolar sufferers have trouble with spending money recklessly is…poor impulse control, or lack of impulse control altogether. This usually happens during a manic episode, but not always. I find that my “manic” side can be triggered just by entering a shopping mall! I can be completely calm and fine, then someone suggests going to the mall…I get all excited, I actually feel “high” while trying on clothes or make-up, I enjoy the friendly banter I get from the salespeople (who are being extra nice to me because I’m spending money LOL)…I just find the whole shopping experience to be a “rush”, almost like drugs (which I have done, so I know what I’m talking about). Of course, credit or debit cards are even easier to use than cash, since they give the illusion that actual money is not changing hands at the time. Just thought I would answer your question since I am a bipolar sufferer…one of the common signs/symptoms of bipolar disorder is poor impulse control. Hope this helps you.