Hi, how are you today? I hope you’re doing ok.

Recently, I wrote a post on the 10/2 Equation and got many varied responses. Some people thought I was being negative myself, but I assure you I didn’t mean to be. Some people accused me of being judgmental, which I definitely didn’t mean to be.

When I write these daily emails, they’re not just to inform and teach you, but also meant to encourage you. I hope I do that.

Here’s a response from Linda to that post:

“I would like to thank you for your deep
reflection on negative versus positive when it
comes to disappointment in our lives. The point
I got from you post is that no matter how much we
may want to help or advise someone who is focused
on the negative and complaining abouteverything, it
is nearly impossible to do so because their negativity
does not leave any opening to see the experience in a
different manner.

An example would be to see something we don’t
like as something positive (although it can be difficult)
like a learning experience or motivation to learn more,
do more, listen more, be quiet more…I could go on
and on and I’m sure others have things that could be
added.

Almost anything that can be viewed negatively
can also be viewed in a positive way if one exerts
a little more effort. I say this because I have found
that being negative is so much easier…one does not
have to be as creative but it well worth the time and
effort put forth.

The most important thing in all this (and is
what I heard you saying) is that being positive
get solved or if not solved entirely they can be
made easier to cope with.”

Linda expresses exactly what I was trying to get across. Anyone can be negative, especially when faced with something as negative as bipolar disorder. It’s that much more difficult to be positive in the face of that.

My biggest concern for you as a supporter is that negativity can bring you down. And that won’t do any good for your loved one or for you.

She said, “Almost anything that can be viewed negatively can also be viewed in a positive way

if one exerts a little more effort.” I totally agree with that.

Many people are so negative that it colors the way they see everything. Now, I’m not saying everyone, but some people use it as an excuse for not trying harder.

In my opinion, having a positive attitude is just as important as medication and the other parts of treatment.

But for the supporter, having a positive attitude can make a very big difference. We fight a lot of stigma coming from the outside world just having a loved one with bipolar disorder. A negative attitude will just make it that much worse, and can really get you down.

I’m not saying that everything is a breeze when you’re a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder, because I know it isn’t. And I’m also not saying that being positive is going to solve all your problems – just that it can make it easier to see the solution. And sometimes it does all get to you, and you can’t be positive.

So I’m not saying you have to be positive all the time, in spite of the bipolar disorder – just that the more positive you can be, the easier it will be on you, as well as on your loved one.

I know you’re experiencing other feelings too (some pretty negative ones), and that’s ok. You still have to be realistic.

Linda also said: “The point I got from your post is that no matter how much we may want to help or advise someone who is focused on the negative and complaining about everything, it is nearly impossible to do so because their negativity does not leave any opening to see the experience in a different manner.”

You or your loved one can get too focused on the negative, and unable to see stability as something positive in their future, because as Linda said, “their negativity does not leave any opening to see the experience in a different manner.”

I know it may not seem fair that you be the positive one, but even if your loved one isn’t, you, at least, can see the experience in a different manner. The more positive you are, especially in light

of disappointments (which are unavoidable), the better you will be able to handle things.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave