Hi, how’s it going? I hope you’re having a good day.
Today I’m going to be talking about a very serious, very important subject.
You know, I get asked a lot why I talk so much about credit cards, debt, and other things having to do with finances when I talk about bipolar disorder. The answer is because I’ve seen firsthand
how money problems relate directly to bipolar disorder, whether to the person with the disorder, their supporter, or both.
One time I spoke to someone who questioned how bills and unpaid debts could be creating so much stress in a person with bipolar disorder and their supporter. I told them that it could be that it’s not the bills and debts themselves causing the stress, but that the person with bipolar disorder may not have the skills to cope with and overcome these types of money problems. Worse yet, the money problems might be as a result of a spending spree from when they were in a manic episode. So part of it might be the stress from worry and guilt.
They may even feel shame involving their supporter for what they’ve done. Then the stress, worry, and guilt (as well as the money problems) might be enough to trigger the person into another bipolar episode. It’s like a vicious cycle.
When my mom was in her worst bipolar episode in 2004, I found her amidst a pile of bills so high and wide and that totaled thousands upon thousands of dollars! She just hadn’t paid them.
At that point, she no longer had the skills to pay them. So they multiplied. That’s when I had to step in and take over her finances and, believe me, it was a mess to untangle all those bills! It took me a long time.
So money problems aren’t just hard on the person with bipolar disorder, they are also hard on the supporter. Your loved one can run up so much debt that they can feasibly run you into bankruptcy. Then talk about stress!
If you live with someone who has bipolar disorder, it’s just a fact of life that you will have money problems. In fact, many people who don’t live in a household where a family member
doesn’t have the disorder have to deal with money problems, so it’s just that much worse for someone who does. And with money problems, there always comes stress.
With debt, I’m talking about credit card debt, mostly. Some people, bipolar or not, can abuse
their credit cards and max them out. But someone who has bipolar disorder and goes into a manic episode can do it in a matter of days!
You can do a couple things to safeguard this, however. First of all, try not to have so many credit cards (including store credit cards). Secondly, try to make it so that you are the one who holds the credit cards. If your loved one is in a manic episode, it is CRUCIAL that they do NOT have access to the credit cards! If they do, there is still something you can do about it – you can call the credit card company immediately and ask them to suspend your credit card privileges
temporarily. You don’t have to tell them that your loved one is in a bipolar episode. You can just say you want to limit your spending for awhile. That will suffice.
You should also limit the amount of cash that your loved one has access to, both on their person and from you (and in the home).
Your bank account is another problem area. When your loved one is NOT in an episode, see if they are agreeable to your handling the finances, or at least having two checking accounts – one just for paying bills, and the other for “whatever,” that would have just a small amount in it.
The one for paying bills could be in just your name, so that when your loved one goes into an episode, they would not have access to the majority of the household money.
At least this way you can be assured that you would have enough money to pay your bills, should your loved one go into an episode.
When you’re living with a loved one who has bipolar disorder, unfortunately, there will always be money problems. But if you follow my suggestions, at least you can get a handle on preventing some of them.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave