Dave; I have been with my current wife (dating and married)for over 38 years. Seven years ago she sunk into a deep depression and was diagnosed Bipolar. Something she refused to believe. She was hospitalized stabilized on meds and returned home and eventually decided she felt so good that she self medicated and eventually quit meds and therapy. Decided it on her own. Next year it happened again, everything as previously written (diagnosed bi-polar, hospital, stabilize, quit meds and therapy on own). This went on for 5 years and there were attempted suicides (son found her after one attempt), suicide planning and bouts of mania and her spending lots of money. The last two years she became psychotic and while not hospitalized eventually meds stabilized but again she quit. Throughout all these years I have studied up on bipolar, as has she, I have tried to encourage her not to quit her meds but to talk to her Dr. (Nurse Practioner) she either refuses or starts to scream. She does all the characteristic bipolar mood swings and then says she doesn’t remember doing them. When she quit her meds this year and I saw the cycle beginning again, I decided I had enough and left and have filed for divorce. I really don’t want to give up on 38 years of marriage but since we have a 16YO son I felt it best for his and my protection. Our son wants nothing to do with her and feels she will just repeat the cycle again. He had been after me to leave for 2 years). He hopes he never has to see her again until he is 18 and can make his own choices. After I left she went to her Dr and got back on meds. She now is claiming that I caused her to be bipolar because I have stifled her in every way and controlled everything. Her Dr. (nurse practioner) apparently agrees according to my wife. That I am allowing our son to manipulate me. No matter how many times we talk and try to help her understand why we left and that we love her but can’t live with her like this she always finds a way to make it my fault. I know this is a characteristic of the illness but why do I always feel like maybe shes right? I have recently talked to her and told her that I would consider a separation so she could prove she could remain stable and take ownership to her illness. During this time we could all seek counseling to work out the rest of the problems and eventually she and our son reunite. She has mixed feelings about the separation and says we must ONLY use Christian Catholic Counselor. Even though she appears to be stable, she seems to be continuing to be manipulative and controlling just like she is when she is experiencing an episode. Is this normal behavior when they are “allegedly” stable?