Bipolar: Wanting It Too Fast

Hi,

I’ve been thinking about something, and wanted to share my thoughts with you. It’s about what happens when you try to accomplish too much too fast. Think about it.

When you try to accomplish too much too fast, you are just setting yourself up for failure, because you’ll never be able to do it. It also gets very discouraging for you.

Also, if you don’t know how long something should take, you can start to think it’s taking

too long.

For example, after an episode. It could take up to a year to fully “fix” the after effects of an episode. Like the financial ruin – you can’t fix a bankruptcy in just two weeks! But some people think you can just do it overnight! We don’t rush the stroke victim or even the cancer victim, why do we rush the victim of bipolar disorder?

Thinking that they should be over an episode after just a week or two is just plain unrealistic

expectations. Would we have that same expectation if they were getting over a physical illness?

Then why are we expecting it from a bipolar episode?

In my research, I’ve talked to many people who are success stories, and they talk about how long it took them sometimes to fully recover from some of their episodes, and some of them say it took a whole year, and some even longer!

There are certain things in life that take a certain amount of time to happen. It’s just the way it has to be. Think about things in nature.

Like the butterfly – it starts off as a caterpillar…then it goes into a cocoon… and only after a certain period of time does it metamorphose into that beautiful butterfly! It just doesn’t happen overnight. And if you interrupt it at any point in the chain of events, the whole thing would

be ruined!

Some things just can’t be rushed. Other things just have to take place in a certain order. And still other things have to take place at a certain time.

Wanting your loved one who has bipolar disorder to get over their episode overnight is like wanting them to be that beautiful butterfly without going through the cocoon phase!

Some things are just worth waiting for. You just have to be more patient sometimes. I know it’s hard to be patient sometimes. It was hard for me with my mom, too. But I had to learn to be patient with her as she learned how to manage her bipolar disorder and get over her episode.

It didn’t happen overnight. It took time.

Some supporters also expect their loved one to go right back to being themselves after an episode, and sometimes that just doesn’t happen either – that’s something else that might take some time.

Some family members make this mistake, too, at the very beginning: They think, good, now that they are diagnosed, they can just take a pill and they’ll be better. Then they get frustrated when it doesn’t happen right away. It takes time even in the beginning to get used to the diagnosis.

Be patient, and things will happen when they’re supposed to.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

  1. I am a very patient person, especially when it comes to my boyfriend with bipolar. After spending 6 weeks in the psych ward he had his meds changed and readjusted. Everything was going well and in the right direction. He was not quite back to earth level, but was getting there. I admit to being surprised how well he was and how everything was developing so well so quickly. It seemed to be because we loved each other and wouldn’t let anything or anyone get between us. No stress and we were so happy. Then wham!! Something (i can’t go into it here) happened out of the blue to upset him and all came crashing down on us. I’m concerned that he could have a relapse and go into an episode again. Right now he is depressed, which must not get worse either. I will speak to his psych in the next couple of days and pray for his stability.

  2. To NIGHTLADY: I will pray for you and your boyfriend that whatever “upset the applecart” will decrease, and leave just you two ALONE. It sounds like your boyfriend responded well to the new meds, but we can’t always control outside environs from affecting our joy. If his depression doesn’t abate SHORTLY, go back to his doctors, and get a viable solution to what has gotten him “off track” this time. I’ve been following your posts on this blog – and you, my dear, are a VERY strong woman who “stands by her man” in a wonderful and effective way. Besides prayer, I send you all my best wishes for your boyfriend to attain a full recovery. You BOTH need it!!

    BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I continue to pray for my country…

  3. Thank you so much for sharing. I have Bipolar disorder and I forget and get very frustrated when I cant bounce right back.
    My very sweet and patient husband is learning its not an overnight “thing”. I think sometimes he deals with it better than I do. He knows Im a go getter and somewhat of a control freak as many of us with BPD are.
    I have started giving myself a break and allowing things to progress slowly. my biggest problem when I go through and episode is I dont care about most things and my daily routines come to a halt. My house isnt clean,I dont venture out in fact I see very few people during an episode. As I “return to myself” I feel a need to rush and get back on track and it frustrates me to no end!
    my advice is……give yourself a break…Ive actually sent myself back into a spiral because I wanted to “fix things” too fast.

  4. i had to quote this lady – she’s so on point about “wanting it too fast”

    To NIGHTLADY: I will pray for you and your boyfriend that whatever “upset the applecart” will decrease, and leave just you two ALONE. It sounds like your boyfriend responded well to the new meds, but we can’t always control outside environs from affecting our joy. If his depression doesn’t abate SHORTLY, go back to his doctors, and get a viable solution to what has gotten him “off track” this time. I’ve been following your posts on this blog – and you, my dear, are a VERY strong woman who “stands by her man” in a wonderful and effective way. Besides prayer, I send you all my best wishes for your boyfriend to attain a full recovery. You BOTH need it!!

    BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I continue to pray for my country…

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