Tending a Bipolar Yard

Hi, how are you doing today? I hope things are going ok for you.

When I was younger, I had a landscaping business. And I really enjoyed doing it, and it helped people who couldn’t do their own lawns, etc. But part of landscaping is cutting back the bushes. Trimming the dead parts, to make room for new ones. Getting the weeds out of the way. So that, in the end, people could be proud of their yards.

Now, the trimming back and getting rid of weeds had to be done on a steady basis, or they would overgrow. Same with the lawns. In other words, without pruning, things get overgrown with the wrong thing. They need constant attention. And the more attention I gave them,

the better the result.

Bipolar disorder is like that.

First of all, let me say that everybody’s different, and what works for one person might not work for another. So I’m just going to talk in general. But let’s take medication for example. You might start out on one medication, but it may have some side effects that you don’t like.

So what can you do about it?

There’s only two things you can do:

1. Deal with the side effects

2. Change medications

Dealing with side effects can be done. It’s worth it as long as the medication is working for you.

But those side effects can be like the thorns on a rosebush – They bother you, but they are necessary. Most side effects, though, can be managed with not too much effort.

But medication changes (dose, amount, maybe even a different medication or combination of medications), is like tending to that rosebush. You keep at it until it becomes what you want it to be. Or until it helps you be what you want to be, which is stable.

There are other things you do for your stability. Like see a doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist.

And going to those appointments regularly is like landscaping the front of your home – you tend to it, and you do it regularly. Only by regular attention can you get to where you want it (yourself) to be.

Starting an entire exercise routine when you’re not used to exercising can be too much. But starting slow and building up to a better routine that works for you, is like tending to the weeds.

One thing might not work so well for you, but another one will. So you discard the old routine and begin a new one, adding and changing as you need to in order to get the result that you want.

It’s the same with eating a healthy diet. You try one thing, and it might work, or it might not. But you prune and weed until you find something that does work well for you.

Stability in general is like landscaping your yard. You know what you want it to be like. But it needs tending to, so you do what you have to in order to get stable. Once you reach stability, though, it’s not such a big job as an overgrown garden with weeds. Once you are stable, you may need tweaks here and there, but for the most part, you will have a well-tended “self.”

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

  1. Alright!!! Just got back from a lovely breakfast with my friend – I surprised her – I took her to a Brunch – Tea and Cakes her favorites she was sooooo clueless!!! She looked amazing and the power of “Self” tending actually works……….I love your advice!!!! Thank – BE A WITNESS!!!

    I’LL BE IN FLORIDA FOR A BIT THEN I SHOULD HOME BOUND AFTER THAT!

  2. After his recent episode landed him in the psych ward for 6 weeks, my boyfriend had his meds changed. For now Abilify seems to work well, except for 1 bad side effect: Insomnia. His sleep pattern is completely screwed up. His body clock has always been on nights like mine. This doesn’t worry us, nor the doctors. If we don’t sleep at night, we sleep in the day and get the hours we need. But in recent weeks he has been up all night for 2 or 3 nights in a row without getting tired. This is very alarming, as this is exactly what he does during an episode. However, now he catches up sleeping through 24 hours, then feels well afterwards and all is normal until the next 48 hours without sleep. Otherwise all is well with him at the moment.

  3. I totally agree I cannot be without medication my temper is just to short. I cannot deal with my fiances kids or people at my work. I just feel in control and all around better on old school depakote.

  4. Taking the meds made things worse for me. They also caused liver problems, and I am not a drinker.
    I believe the bipolar medication is very good for some people, but not for me. Once I quit all the psychiatric medications, my condition improved. I am eating fairly healthy foods, taking medications derived from plants and vitamins, and am doing very well. People should know there are options!!

  5. Ive tried them all… after awhile i get sick of trying, go off the med’s and try to pretend everything is ok, when everyone knows it’s not, just continue to wonder… why…am i still here and alot of other’s aren’t…i feel like just giving up..who would care…

  6. i tried for years to take care of my husbands bipolar garden on weekends he refused to take his meds didnt need them he blamed me for his being bipolar and now after being divorced for 4 years he is happy as a lark and i am still confused

  7. I find this to very true, Having bipolar is a full time job maintaining it and finding the right combo that works. I haven’t reached that point yet, but I know the consequences of quitting and this drives me to search and keep fighting till I can be the Dad I know I can be. I encourage all you to keep looking, it’s been 10 years, 15 psychiatrists and dozens of meds, but I don’t believe in quitting. Somewhere someone will listen and help. But not if I quit!

  8. i really needed to hear that and that is so true whatever works for you are me everyone is differant my husband suffer from all of the above and now he had been place in a home and i am trying to start all over to take on a new look on life and try something differsnt including food just tring to get a new look on life thanks and i needed to hear all of that so please keep me and my family in your prayers that we travel the right road to dealing with all the new changes
    thanks

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