Hi, how’s it going? I’ve been thinking about something, and wanted to share my thoughts with you. It’s about what happens when you try to accomplish too much too fast. Or expect things to happen too soon.

Think about it. When you try to accomplish too much too fast, you are just setting yourself up

for failure, because you’ll never be able to do it. When you try to accomplish too much too fast, it can lead to discouragement for you when it doesn’t turn out how you expect it to. Also, if you don’t know how long something should take, you can start to think it’s taking too long.

For example, after an episode. The “too much too fast” idea can be applied to coming out of an episode, if you’re not careful. You and your loved one might expect that recovery will happen just like that! But it could take up to a year to fully “fix” the after effects of an episode. Like the financial ruin – you can’t fix a bankruptcy in just two weeks!

But some people think you can just do it overnight! We don’t rush the stroke victim or even the cancer victim, why do we rush the victim of bipolar disorder? Thinking that they should be over

an episode after just a week or two is just plain unrealistic expectations. Would we have that same expectation if they were getting over a physical illness? Then why are we expecting it from a bipolar episode?

There are some things in life that take a certain amount of time to happen. It’s just the way it has

to be. Think about things in nature. Like the butterfly – it starts off as a caterpillar…then it goes into a cocoon… and only after a certain period of time does it emerge as that beautiful butterfly!

It just doesn’t happen overnight.

It takes time. A process has to happen. And if you interrupt that process at any point in the chain of events, the whole thing would be ruined! Some things just can’t be rushed. Other things just have to take place in a certain order. And still other things have to take place at a certain time.

Wanting your loved one who has bipolar disorder to get over their episode overnight is like wanting them to be that beautiful butterfly without going through the cocoon phase!

Let’s look at it this way:

When your loved one is first diagnosed and taking their first baby steps into the world of bipolar disorder, let’s call that the “caterpillar stage.” There are certain things that have to happen during that stage, or they cannot move on.

For example, they have to learn to take their medications, every day and religiously. They have to learn to go to their doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist, and how important that is. They need to get used to a new lifestyle. Then they can move onto the cocoon stage, where they practice everything they’ve learned, so that in this stage they learn to control their bipolar disorder (and not the other way around). They can now manage their bipolar disorder, so that…

When the time is right for them to emerge from their “cocoon,”…

They can become that beautiful butterfly and enjoy a stable and happy life!

But do you see how you cannot skip any of those stages? Each one is necessary. It may be hard to be patient during this process, but remember that

beautiful butterfly.

Some things are worth waiting for!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how are you today? I hope you’re doing ok.

Recently, I wrote a post on the 10/2 Equation and got many varied responses. Some people thought I was being negative myself, but I assure you I didn’t mean to be. Some people accused me of being judgmental, which I definitely didn’t mean to be.

When I write these daily emails, they’re not just to inform and teach you, but also meant to encourage you. I hope I do that.

Here’s a response from Linda to that post:

“I would like to thank you for your deep
reflection on negative versus positive when it
comes to disappointment in our lives. The point
I got from you post is that no matter how much we
may want to help or advise someone who is focused
on the negative and complaining abouteverything, it
is nearly impossible to do so because their negativity
does not leave any opening to see the experience in a
different manner.

An example would be to see something we don’t
like as something positive (although it can be difficult)
like a learning experience or motivation to learn more,
do more, listen more, be quiet more…I could go on
and on and I’m sure others have things that could be
added.

Almost anything that can be viewed negatively
can also be viewed in a positive way if one exerts
a little more effort. I say this because I have found
that being negative is so much easier…one does not
have to be as creative but it well worth the time and
effort put forth.

The most important thing in all this (and is
what I heard you saying) is that being positive
get solved or if not solved entirely they can be
made easier to cope with.”

Linda expresses exactly what I was trying to get across. Anyone can be negative, especially when faced with something as negative as bipolar disorder. It’s that much more difficult to be positive in the face of that.

My biggest concern for you as a supporter is that negativity can bring you down. And that won’t do any good for your loved one or for you.

She said, “Almost anything that can be viewed negatively can also be viewed in a positive way

if one exerts a little more effort.” I totally agree with that.

Many people are so negative that it colors the way they see everything. Now, I’m not saying everyone, but some people use it as an excuse for not trying harder.

In my opinion, having a positive attitude is just as important as medication and the other parts of treatment.

But for the supporter, having a positive attitude can make a very big difference. We fight a lot of stigma coming from the outside world just having a loved one with bipolar disorder. A negative attitude will just make it that much worse, and can really get you down.

I’m not saying that everything is a breeze when you’re a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder, because I know it isn’t. And I’m also not saying that being positive is going to solve all your problems – just that it can make it easier to see the solution. And sometimes it does all get to you, and you can’t be positive.

So I’m not saying you have to be positive all the time, in spite of the bipolar disorder – just that the more positive you can be, the easier it will be on you, as well as on your loved one.

I know you’re experiencing other feelings too (some pretty negative ones), and that’s ok. You still have to be realistic.

Linda also said: “The point I got from your post is that no matter how much we may want to help or advise someone who is focused on the negative and complaining about everything, it is nearly impossible to do so because their negativity does not leave any opening to see the experience in a different manner.”

You or your loved one can get too focused on the negative, and unable to see stability as something positive in their future, because as Linda said, “their negativity does not leave any opening to see the experience in a different manner.”

I know it may not seem fair that you be the positive one, but even if your loved one isn’t, you, at least, can see the experience in a different manner. The more positive you are, especially in light

of disappointments (which are unavoidable), the better you will be able to handle things.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, How’s it going? I hope you’re having a good day.

Have you been out in the stores lately? I can’t believe how, even in this economy, people are flooding the stores to buy Christmas presents! But it’s getting crazy out there! Lines are really getting to be long, which really frustrates me when I have to wait so long just to buy one thing!

I’m sure you’ve experienced the same frustration.

Anyway, onto today’s topic: A warning for the holidays.

Speaking of shopping…Here’s how it relates to bipolar disorder:

If your loved one has had an episode in the past where they overspent or spent frivolously, then you should already have made a plan to protect your finances. So the warning is to keep your

eye on your loved one’s spending at this holiday time.

It would be too easy for them to get involved in all the excitement in the Christmas sales, the store promotions, etc. And this could very easily push them into a bipolar manic episode, which is something you do NOT want to be dealing with right now.

The only way for you to protect your finances at this time is to be proactive, and limit the amount of money which your loved one has access to. You still want them to be able to go Christmas shopping and spend some money on their own, but you can at least limit it.

Here’s what I DON’T suggest: Giving them the credit card and just telling them the limit they can spend. It would be too easy, once they had access to it, to max out your card, and you’re running a risk here. You’re better off just giving them cash, which is a finite amount of money.

When they run out, they run out.

Another suggestion is to make a list. Have your loved one make a list of everything they need to get. Figure the amount of money they will need according to that list. Having a list should help them to be self-directed and restrained, if they only get what’s on the list.

You could also use this list to determine how much money they will need (or, if they are buying

for you, ask them how much money they will need – within reason, of course). This way you won’t end up like this one couple I know.

He has bipolar disorder, and in the past has had a problem with excessive spending. He wasn’t really manic at the time that his wife gave him the debit card. He said he had just a few things to

pick up, but they were to be a surprise for her. She told him not to go over a certain amount of money (according to what they had in the bank).

Unfortunately, he got caught up in all the excitement at the store, and he spent beyond that limit, putting them into overdraft. Needless to say, his wife was rather upset when she found out how much he had spent. When she confronted him, her husband could give no reasonable explanation for why he spent over his limit.

That’s why the idea of giving your loved one cash to work with, and limiting the amount, is a good idea. Then you won’t go through what this couple went through.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Sorry the news is late again. I had a million issues this morning.

Anyway, to read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews459/

Here are the news headlines:

Save Money on Your Prescriptions
DO> Great article, take a look

Gene linked to Susceptibility of Symptoms for Pediatric Bipolar Disorder
DO> If you are parents

The Art of Healing / Ogden Man Deals with Bipolar Disorder through his Paintings
DO> Wow, what do you think of this?

Hoping for a Happy Ending: A Journalist’s Story of Depression, Bipolar and Alcoholism
DO> This sounds really good.

Recovery Act Funding Supports Study of Bipolar Disorder
DO> Another great thing, don’t you think?

Long-term Stress Damages the Brain
DO> Do you agree with this?

For these stories and more, please visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews459/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting: http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going for you today? I hope your day is good so far.

Everywhere you go these days, you see those advertisements for $4 generic prescriptions, don’t you? It started off with just one company, and now everyone’s doing it. Do you know why? Because it’s a successful campaign. And people need it.

Have you ever seen an advertisement that says, “We beat all competitor’s prices”? It’s the same thing. Why do they do it? Because it’s an effective strategy. More realistic, however, is the “We will meet all competitor’s prices.” You can actually go by that. If you have a sale paper that shows something you want is at a certain price, you can take that ad into another store and get the same product for the same price. Why do they do this? Because they want your loyalty. They want your business.

Some people pride themselves on comparison shopping, and in this economy that’s a good way to be. You should comparison shop to get the best price for the things you and your family need.

You especially hear about comparison shopping when it comes to buying a car. That’s because it’s such a big decision, and can have such a big impact on your finances.

Well, guess what? There is no comparison when it comes to bipolar disorder. Each person who has it is different. Some of the symptoms may be the same, but everyone’s different. You might hear from another supporter that such-and-such medication worked so well for their loved one.

Then you might think that your loved one should be on that medication, too, so they can do as good as this person is saying that their loved one is doing. But you have to remember, there is no comparison when it comes to bipolar disorder.

If you go to a support group meeting (I know, because I go to several of them every month), you’ll find people who will tell you what to do for your loved one. That doesn’t make them right.

They are not doctors. They are not psychiatrists. They are not therapists. They are not researchers. They are not any kind of a professional, so you don’t have to listen to them.

One of the problems with these kinds of people is that they believe that what works for their loved one is going to work for everyone who has bipolar disorder. Just remember that there is no

comparison when it comes to bipolar disorder.

Your loved one is who they are. They should be on the right medication for THEM. They should be doing the things that make THEM stable. And you should be the best supporter you can be for THEM. Not according to what anyone else says.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how is your day going? I hope you’re having a good one.

You may or not remember a musical many years ago called “The Music Man.” In this musical, there was a song about a new pool table the town had just gotten. Some people weren’t happy

about it. So the song was about that.

Here are some of the lyrics:

“We’ve got trouble
Right here in River City
Trouble with a capital T
That rhymes with P
That stands for pool…”

Now, that’s kind of a lighthearted way to introduce today’s topic: Patience with a Capital P

You need patience with a capital P if you are going to be able to deal with your loved one’s bipolar disorder.

I know, that may sound “easier said than done.” I remember I lost my patience with my mom many times. It was really hard for me. Sometimes I would have to explain things over and over

again, and she still didn’t get it, so I would get frustrated and lose my patience.

It’s hard to have patience with a loved one who has bipolar disorder sometimes. As supporters, we’re dealing with our own problems, then sometimes we have to deal with our loved one’s problems as well as our own. Sometimes the stress level gets too high (both theirs and yours).

Losing your patience will only add fuel to the fire, though. Your loved one depends on you

to be patient (with a capital P). And you need to be patient for your own sake as well.

Patient people can think clearer. They don’t react to things as much as impatient people. Impatient people get angry and frustrated more often. They get stressed. And stress can bring with it a host of physical problems, like ulcers.

For someone with bipolar disorder, stress can even bring on an episode, so patience with a capital P is especially what they need to practice.

But supporters are just as susceptible. If you aren’t patient, you will react more negatively to a situation, or to something someone may say to you (or something your loved one has done).

If you stuff your feelings, as many supporters do, it may come out anyway, in the form of impatience, frustration and anger. This doesn’t help anything.

What WILL help is if you have patience with a capital P.

Unfortunately, patience is not easy to come by. You will have to work at it.

The next time you face a situation that you can’t do anything to change (like your loved one’s behavior), try practicing patience with a capital P. It may get you further.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave