Interesting topic today. I myself have never been in a facility for BPD management, but I have heard stories from friends, and they all have a common theme. Supports relaxed their involvement in their loved one’s care, relying solely on the discretion of the facility and found the same results. In the long run the supports AND their loved ones had to work harder to unravel the set backs of the loved one who didn’t necessarily get the one-on-one care they needed in each stage to reach their goal of stability. One friend said it was harder to support her son (who is schizophrenic) in the group home he lived in because her son is an adult and so they’d only tell her so much but certain areas of his care, and tell her nothing about other areas. 4 months ago Kelby (her son) fooled the staff about taking his meds and took off from the facility. Depending upon how long he had been fooling the staff, he was probably in a near psychotic state of mind when he left. Kelby has discribed this state of mind as like being inside of a video game with no pause and no game over. Only higher levels of difficulty to conquer. Today Kelby is still MIA. Last time this happend he left a facility in the same manner in Oregon and wound up found in New York wandering the streets. This was 1 1/2 years ago and he was missing for two months. Today my friend is still desperately trying to get through each day sane until Kelby is found. She will never again recommend “outsourcing” mental health treatment. In her words “No matter how crazy my world got and how impossible it was sometimes supporting Kelby, none of it ever compared to wondering day in and day out if he was even dead or alive”. That seemed like a pretty powerful lesson to me.

David, your emails are so interesting and I wish I could afford to order your book. I have a daughter-n-law that is bipolar. She took her meds for awhile but now has decided she does not need them. Her family refueses to believe she is bipolar even though she has been dignosed by a certified doctor. So there is no support from them. They say she is just mean and hateful when she acts like this. Unfortunately I am the one who catches most of the grief. At the moment she is not speaking to me. I feel very unwelcomed in her home. She will even go into the other room. This hurts when I know I have done nothing. I worry about my grandchildren and pray God keeps them safe. My son tries to be strong with her but without the support of her family his hands are tied. She threatens divorce and he does not want that. He loves her. I love her. I know this episode will pass but it sure gets hard sometimes.

Dee

hello there…….

this is the first time that i am writting, i have been receiving these amazing mails, not yet responding.

I have bi-polar, but there is several other diagnoses that were made a few weeks back, and to be totally honest i feel like im fighting a lost battle.

I was at the psychiatrist today, because my GP was/is worried about me, i am medication resistant, therefore am “struggeling” alot with all these emotions.

People tell me that they cannot believe that there is something wrong with me, because i look so normal, i have learned not to show how i feel, just smile and say im okay, which is very difficult.

i have been in a relationship now for two months, but as the doctor asked isnt it draining me emotionally, which is actually happening. I am trying to tell him as much as i can about the situation, or condition, but the truth is i really do not want this illness, i hate it.

it has been building up since the 7th of july only getting worse and worse, and the psychiatrist cannot do anything, my GP gave me some heavy meds, that he said i must continue with, but the side-effects are terrible. well the doc said that there will be a new med out in sep/oct, so im the guinia pig, trying out everything untill maybe they will find something that might work.

sorry to be so negative, but my energy is gone, and i really dont know what to do. I study music and i take singing and teach it also, which makes it even harder because i cannot focus its like everything is a total blur……..

thank you for listening, i just feel as if im in the way, i just simply cannot cope with this anymore, it all started in 1999, and only gotten worse and worse……

Living with a Manic Depressive Person

Presented by Scott Steele
July 22, 1993

(note..the date..AND I AM SCOTTS FATHER..SCOTT IS MY SON WHO WROTE THIS ARTICLE ABOUT ME.!!

What does Franklin D. Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Earnest Hemmingway, Mike Wallace, Howard Hughes, Patty Duke, and Mike Tyson have in common? Manic depressive illness (or a softer term called bipolar). Mental illness affects more people than you think. Over 10 million Americans suffer from depressive disorders. The U.S. National Institute of Mental Health has stated that one in five Americans have some form of mental illness in any given six months.

I chose the topic of Manic Depressive illness because it has affected my life and still does to this day significantly. Not because I have this illness, but because my father does. It can be both frustrating and rewarding living with a person like this.

My father came from a turbulent childhood. For years his adopted parents told him that his moods were due to the ups and downs of life. His teen years were stressful having a background of foster homes, orphanages, three fathers and two mothers. At the age of 10 he was legally adopted into the Steele family. In 1964 he married my Mom and started employment with Eastman Kodak as a field representative and continued this occupation until retirement. He designed his own house which my Mom and Dad did a major part in its construction, and we still live there today 25 years later. Everything was looking up for my Dad, new house, wife, job and two kids. Things seemed to go along well, at least until one stressful day after work he came home and tried to take his own life. My Mom wasn’t home and at the time he found the idea at this time was the way to handle things. He was not diagnosed a manic depressive at this time. He ended up at 4 East for a time and discharged as having “situational” depressive due to his turbulent childhood. As time went along, things started to get worse. He was staying up all hours of the night, spending money like he won the lottery. He still does this, but not as often. He would take pictures out of their frames and re-hang the empty frames back on the wall. Tremendous paranoia, everyone was out to get him and fear of losing his job. It was not uncommon for him to call people at 2 or 3 a.m. and wonder why they weren’t up and ready to talk to him. His irritability level was always high. My Mom was always careful what she said so as not to upset him. If tension was building in him, it only took a trivial thing to trigger him off. He could go into a rage, sometimes throwing things. He never abused anyone in the family, but broke a lot of dishes. This was stressful for everyone in the family, because at first you thought you really did something drastically wrong but really it was just the straw that broke the camels back. I remember one time when my sister and I were really young, my sister poked her finger into a movie projector that my Dad was trying to get adjusted before some company came over. My sister was being curious wondering what the moving parts really was doing. After poking her finger into the film wheel, the projector promptly stopped. My Dad just lost it.

Immediately he tried to fix it and to no avail he picked it up and threw it down on the kitchen table and walked outside in furry leaving the movie projector in pieces on the floor. I have no idea what my sister thought of this, and it really was never talked about but I could feel the tension in the air from my Mom. I don’t think their marriage could have continued or at least continued happily as they are not if he was never diagnosed and treated as a manic depressive person. His job and well being were under toil because of depression. One of his long time customers told Kodak that they thought he was on drugs. The closest thing to drugs to my Dad takes is aspirin. He does not smoke or drink either (luckily). The reason I say luckily is that statistics show that 80% or more of the manic depressive people are alcoholics using alcohol as a form of self medication for lows. The use of alcohol or any other abused drugs just adds fuel to the fire making mood swings more depressing or more manic. As a matter of fact, my Dad has to watch his caffeine intake so that he doesn’t become more hyper. Eastman Kodak prompted him to get help for his “problem”, whatever “it” was. At this point the still didn’t think he had any mental or physical problem.

Everything seemed fine to him and the only reason that he started to see doctors for diagnosis is because of what my Mom and his employer noticed in him. Over the years he talked to several doctors. One of them told him to quit his job and move away to another city! It wasn’t until 1 to 2 years later that finally one doctor said he had manic depressive illness. My Dad actually relived to find out what he had. He did not deny it at all and went under the suggested medication of lithium. My Dad is a bipolar manic depressive. This means that his mode changes from a high manic state to a low depressive state and never stays on one mood constantly. He is also a rapid cycler, meaning that he doesn’t stay in one mood extreme for more that a few days. Mania is described as: (from MDDA brochure)

– High energy level
– Flight of ideas or racing thoughts (may talk at a fast pace or not sleep)
– Rapid, unpredictable emotional changes
– Extreme irritability
– Minimal sleeping or decreased need for sleep
– Distractibility
– Impulse buying or other excessive behavior
– Poor judgment about the effects of excessive activity

And depression is described as: (from MDDA brochure)

– Feelings of sadness, anxiety, and hopelessness
– Sense of impending doom or disaster
– Reduced enjoyment and pleasure, loss of emotion
– Lower energy and motivation
– Low self-esteem or guilt, feelings of worthlessness
– Appetite disturbance, increased or decreased

– Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
– Recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts or attempts.

Not everyone who is manic or depressed has every symptom. Some people experience many, some only a few. Manic depression is caused by a chemical imbalance. The medication of choice is lithium. This helps to control the manic high and his mood is kept from going to the extremes that he used to have. It would be interesting to study about how this chemical imbalance occurs. Currently this imbalance is thought to be inherited through the genes. I think that this is true but that possibly childhood stress or problems like my Dad had could have triggered this chemical imbalance that he was carrying. The reason I say this is my Dad meets a lot of people with manic depressive illness and most all of them that he has met has had a turbulent childhood, ranging from sexual abuse such as rape and molestation, child abuse, and rejection from parents from childhood. But this is only an assumption and is currently being studied. Some people are diagnosed as univocal manic depressive and stay in one mood constantly, but this is very rare. Ralph Nader is a univocal manic depressive that is mostly in a manic high mood. They need medication to either elevate their mood level and lower their mood level.

Manic depressive illness is affecting many millions of people today, many of which are undiagnosed as having it. Manic depressive illness is treatable, but the person diagnosed with a mental illness are often stereotyped as irrational, aggressive and violent; but in reality they are usually isolated, passive, and withdrawn. They are also often discriminated against or denied the opportunity to rebuild their lives because of insurance coverage. This is really unfair considering that it is a biological based illness. From what little I saw of the extremes as a child, I am glad medication has helped control this mental illness so that my Dad can lead a normal life and the family does not have to be walking on pins and needs all the time. For the size of Rockford, we should be very happy as residents here to know we have great facilities for people with mental illness, Janet Wattles Center is one of them. If anyone is ever thought that possibly they could have a mental illness, they should have it checked right away because if may destroy your quality of life if left untreated due to the amount of psychological strain mental illness can have on your well-being, marriage and family life.

Living with a Manic Depressive Person

Presented by Scott Steele
July 22, 1993

(note..the date..AND I AM SCOTTS FATHER..SCOTT IS MY SON WHO WROTE THIS ARTICLE ABOUT ME.!!

What does Franklin D. Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Earnest Hemmingway, Mike Wallace, Howard Hughes, Patty Duke, and Mike Tyson have in common? Manic depressive illness (or a softer term called bipolar). Mental illness affects more people than you think. Over 10 million Americans suffer from depressive disorders. The U.S. National Institute of Mental Health has stated that one in five Americans have some form of mental illness in any given six months.

I chose the topic of Manic Depressive illness because it has affected my life and still does to this day significantly. Not because I have this illness, but because my father does. It can be both frustrating and rewarding living with a person like this.

My father came from a turbulent childhood. For years his adopted parents told him that his moods were due to the ups and downs of life. His teen years were stressful having a background of foster homes, orphanages, three fathers and two mothers. At the age of 10 he was legally adopted into the Steele family. In 1964 he married my Mom and started employment with Eastman Kodak as a field representative and continued this occupation until retirement. He designed his own house which my Mom and Dad did a major part in its construction, and we still live there today 25 years later. Everything was looking up for my Dad, new house, wife, job and two kids. Things seemed to go along well, at least until one stressful day after work he came home and tried to take his own life. My Mom wasn’t home and at the time he found the idea at this time was the way to handle things. He was not diagnosed a manic depressive at this time. He ended up at 4 East for a time and discharged as having “situational” depressive due to his turbulent childhood. As time went along, things started to get worse. He was staying up all hours of the night, spending money like he won the lottery. He still does this, but not as often. He would take pictures out of their frames and re-hang the empty frames back on the wall. Tremendous paranoia, everyone was out to get him and fear of losing his job. It was not uncommon for him to call people at 2 or 3 a.m. and wonder why they weren’t up and ready to talk to him. His irritability level was always high. My Mom was always careful what she said so as not to upset him. If tension was building in him, it only took a trivial thing to trigger him off. He could go into a rage, sometimes throwing things. He never abused anyone in the family, but broke a lot of dishes. This was stressful for everyone in the family, because at first you thought you really did something drastically wrong but really it was just the straw that broke the camels back. I remember one time when my sister and I were really young, my sister poked her finger into a movie projector that my Dad was trying to get adjusted before some company came over. My sister was being curious wondering what the moving parts really was doing. After poking her finger into the film wheel, the projector promptly stopped. My Dad just lost it.

Immediately he tried to fix it and to no avail he picked it up and threw it down on the kitchen table and walked outside in furry leaving the movie projector in pieces on the floor. I have no idea what my sister thought of this, and it really was never talked about but I could feel the tension in the air from my Mom. I don’t think their marriage could have continued or at least continued happily as they are not if he was never diagnosed and treated as a manic depressive person. His job and well being were under toil because of depression. One of his long time customers told Kodak that they thought he was on drugs. The closest thing to drugs to my Dad takes is aspirin. He does not smoke or drink either (luckily). The reason I say luckily is that statistics show that 80% or more of the manic depressive people are alcoholics using alcohol as a form of self medication for lows. The use of alcohol or any other abused drugs just adds fuel to the fire making mood swings more depressing or more manic. As a matter of fact, my Dad has to watch his caffeine intake so that he doesn’t become more hyper. Eastman Kodak prompted him to get help for his “problem”, whatever “it” was. At this point the still didn’t think he had any mental or physical problem.

Everything seemed fine to him and the only reason that he started to see doctors for diagnosis is because of what my Mom and his employer noticed in him. Over the years he talked to several doctors. One of them told him to quit his job and move away to another city! It wasn’t until 1 to 2 years later that finally one doctor said he had manic depressive illness. My Dad actually relived to find out what he had. He did not deny it at all and went under the suggested medication of lithium. My Dad is a bipolar manic depressive. This means that his mode changes from a high manic state to a low depressive state and never stays on one mood constantly. He is also a rapid cycler, meaning that he doesn’t stay in one mood extreme for more that a few days. Mania is described as: (from MDDA brochure)

– High energy level
– Flight of ideas or racing thoughts (may talk at a fast pace or not sleep)
– Rapid, unpredictable emotional changes
– Extreme irritability
– Minimal sleeping or decreased need for sleep
– Distractibility
– Impulse buying or other excessive behavior
– Poor judgment about the effects of excessive activity

And depression is described as: (from MDDA brochure)

– Feelings of sadness, anxiety, and hopelessness
– Sense of impending doom or disaster
– Reduced enjoyment and pleasure, loss of emotion
– Lower energy and motivation
– Low self-esteem or guilt, feelings of worthlessness
– Appetite disturbance, increased or decreased

– Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
– Recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts or attempts.

Not everyone who is manic or depressed has every symptom. Some people experience many, some only a few. Manic depression is caused by a chemical imbalance. The medication of choice is lithium. This helps to control the manic high and his mood is kept from going to the extremes that he used to have. It would be interesting to study about how this chemical imbalance occurs. Currently this imbalance is thought to be inherited through the genes. I think that this is true but that possibly childhood stress or problems like my Dad had could have triggered this chemical imbalance that he was carrying. The reason I say this is my Dad meets a lot of people with manic depressive illness and most all of them that he has met has had a turbulent childhood, ranging from sexual abuse such as rape and molestation, child abuse, and rejection from parents from childhood. But this is only an assumption and is currently being studied. Some people are diagnosed as univocal manic depressive and stay in one mood constantly, but this is very rare. Ralph Nader is a univocal manic depressive that is mostly in a manic high mood. They need medication to either elevate their mood level and lower their mood level.

Manic depressive illness is affecting many millions of people today, many of which are undiagnosed as having it. Manic depressive illness is treatable, but the person diagnosed with a mental illness are often stereotyped as irrational, aggressive and violent; but in reality they are usually isolated, passive, and withdrawn. They are also often discriminated against or denied the opportunity to rebuild their lives because of insurance coverage. This is really unfair considering that it is a biological based illness. From what little I saw of the extremes as a child, I am glad medication has helped control this mental illness so that my Dad can lead a normal life and the family does not have to be walking on pins and needs all the time. For the size of Rockford, we should be very happy as residents here to know we have great facilities for people with mental illness, Janet Wattles Center is one of them. If anyone is ever thought that possibly they could have a mental illness, they should have it checked right away because if may destroy your quality of life if left untreated due to the amount of psychological strain mental illness can have on your well-being, marriage and family life.

Dear Lize-lotte

I realy do feel for you. I think I can safely say most of us that are bipolar have been and at times still wind up where you are now. There is hope and meds and time is so important. I know there has been times I had no time left…in my mind it was gone. Not one minute left for a good thought, to feel happy, leave alone feel any thing at all.

I hung in there like a “trooper on a mission”. Bipolar can not hurt you, only your actions can. When it got this bad for me, I would get myself into a short stay falsility. Where they would take care of all my immediate needs. I would take the first 24 hours just to sleep in a safe place, where I knew they wouldn’t let me die, give up in other words. One moment at a time.

You can check my profile if you like. I realy don’t mind sharing my life experiences.

Dear Dave,

It’s been awhile since I’ve written. I wasn’t sure where to place this blog due to the posting of the stories. However, in relation to your past writing of enjoying the bipolar struggle, I didn’t. He finally left. But not before he chose to sleep on the couch for weeks, prolong his leaving so that I was in agony and torture and then not before a mutual friend (male) came to me telling me that he had been sleeping with my now ex for over a year. I had to break the news to that man’s wife as he was abusing her also. Everyone at his job (my ex) knew he was gay but me. You know that I strongly suspected and believed so. It was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in my life and to top that off, my ex brought this gross person to my house and that man demanded to get into my home to help my ex carry his two bags of clothes out (he didn’t need any help) so that he could try to cause trouble in my home. Disgusting again! My son and his fiance’ were visiting at the time and had to see this dramatic exit that my ex just had to make.
That man also cheats with women as I’d catch him in the car with other women besides his wife. I had to tell her that information as well. I am going to have court ordered HIV test done on them at different intervals throughout the next year. It’s terrible what some people put others through unknowingly and it’s deceit which is a crime, so is sodomy, so is adulty, and soon, I intend to get signatures for the issue to proceed to approach a ballot, that if one person suspects that he/she is gay, that they not fool the opposite sex or deceive them in order to use them, because those are hate crimes as well. It is a serious issue. It brings forth diseases. If a man or a woman knowingly marry’s an opposite sex partner, common-law or by legal vows, and has homosexual relations and exposes the wife/husband to disease, mental cruelty and deceit, should they be caught, the person should face jail time. Alot of people want to sign already.

Dear David, Aug. 8, 2007

I have just recently been told that I may have a mild case of bipolar. And I thought about it for a minute, “What’s bipolar and what is mild?” I did not know you could have a mild case, you either have it or you don’t. So I was on the internet and just happened to come across your information. I was not looking for it, it was just there. Maybe it’s fate, may be someone knew I need answers.

But any way, I keep reading your emails and they talk about episodes. What are episodes? My husband calls them bitch-fits. Are they the same, or are they different?

I’m not sure about the difference between depression and bipolar. I have friends that are married and her husband is bipolar. She always would send him to his own space (the basement) where he would paint, that made him better to be around. I always thought he was so sad. I never really understood, but I never really asked either. I also have a client that told me she was bipolar, and she fly’s off the handle all the time for no reason. You can not be around her like that, she’s really scary.

Maybe I should start with the beginning. Since I could remember (about 1974) I have always been sad or down. Family blamed it on my mom and how much we moved and how much my mom and step dad fought. I have a hard time making friends, nor did I want to. I did not want to do any thing but hide in my room and read, to be alone and away from every thing and everyone. I hated crowds and school, I did not do any thing but warm a seat for years. The doctors always said I was depressed, but at that time there where no medications for teens. So I lived with it, sort of. I did try to commit suicide. They finally divorced, but remarried a year latter only to divorce again in 1985.

My mom eventually made me leave the house with my sister and brother on the weekends. I met a boy and married, but things were rocky because I was so up and down. I did not know what to do, I would not tell any one how I felt. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I tried again to commit suicide while pregnant with my second child. But after my second child (which was healthy), I finally (1990) said something to my doctor. I thought I was going crazy. I could not control my thoughts or my moods anymore. I was afraid of myself and being alone, I did not know what would happen next. But I was labeled ‘Post Partum Depressed’. And put on medication. But I stayed that way, never really getting better. A lot of the times getting worse. My medications have been changed so much, I can’t remember everything I have been on.

But my mood swings progressed. No one wanted to be around me. I did not want to be around no one. I lost some friends. My husband moved me away from all contact of family on the advice of a psychologist. And I stopped all medications. I thought maybe that would help, and it did for awhile. But we moved back because my husband could not stand not having family around. And I stayed off the medications for two years. Then out of the blue for no reason the mood swings returned. I continued to stay off the medications for one year. But it was hard for everyone around me. I almost ended up divorced and one of my kids wanted to live with someone else. I was hard to be around.
I went to the doctor that I have had the best luck with. And we really talked. That’s when she said I think you are bipolar and insisted I be put back on medication. But she did not give me any information on it or any recommendations.

So here I am. What do you think? And what is the difference between the two? Or do you have some recommendations I can read that will not cost to much?

Desperately Seeking Help,
Mel