The Truth About Bipolar Disorder


What’s going on?

I hope you are doing well.

Before I took off for the day I wanted
to talk to you about something.

Just like the title says, today I’m
going to talk about the truth about
bipolar disorder.

Unfortunately, some of you
probably read the title and thought
this was going to be an easy topic.

Some of you probably thought
this was going to be information
you probably already have.

Some of you probably thought
this isn’t going to be information
that applies to you.

And most of you probably thought
this was going to be something
you wanted to hear.

It’s the last group of people I’m
worried about, because sometimes
the truth is hard to swallow.

Well, here it is anyway:

Sometimes dealing with bipolar
disorder takes time, and it’s hard.
but you probably know that.
That isn’t news.

It’s like a lot of things in life –
Like losing weight.
Like building an organization.

It takes time and it’s hard.
You’ve heard the old expression,
“Anything that’s worth doing,
is worth doing well.”

That means that whatever you’re
going to do, it’s going to take
time to do it (and a lot of sweat)
to do it well, to give it your best

So in doing something hard,
there is an uphill part and then
things get easier.

Just like a snowball is small and hard to
push up hill and eventually it’s really big
and you roll down the hill (it gets easier).

That’s like bipolar disorder.

Some things are simple, but not easy.
Learning how to be a good supporter
may be simple (for instance, just
read my course on it). But it sure
isn’t easy.

In my courses I do tell you how to
be a good supporter:

Check out my courses/systems:




So it might be simple (or at least
The concepts are simple), but it sure
isn’t easy!

But some supporters do want it to
be easy. They want it just like that.
They don’t want to put the work into
it that needs to be done.

I’m not saying they’re lazy or anything,
just that maybe they’re thinking, “I
didn’t sign on for this!” Like maybe
this is much harder than they

And that happens to a lot of

For each supporter who is willing
to put in all the time and effort
(and sweat) to be a good supporter,
to read my courses, to do the
research, to read everything they
can get their hands on, to go to
support groups, to learn as much
as they can about bipolar disorder…
etc. there are at least 2 or 3 who

And it is those 2 or 3 who are the
ones I hear from who complain
that their loved one isn’t getting

See, the supporters who are 100%
devoted to helping their loved one
get better and doing everything
they can, those are the ones who
I get success stories from! From
both the supporter and their loved
one – and believe me, I LOVE
getting those success stories!

It hurts me so much when I get
the other kind of letters, though.
I wish I could help you. I know
how hard it is, because I remember
how hard it is before I did all my
research for my mom and found
out everything I did about being
a good supporter.

Do you think I wanted to do all
that I had to do to make my mom
well? No! I saw how much of my
time and energy it was going to
take up front. So why did I do it?

Because I wanted my mom to get
well. Pure and simple. And I was
willing to do whatever it took.

See, that’s the attitude you have to
have as a supporter.

That’s the truth about bipolar
disorder. It’s not going to go away
by itself. Your loved one is not
going to get better without your
100% help.

Whatever it takes.

I have to run, catch you tomorrow.

Your Friend,


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one is designed to help you with a different
area of bipolar disorder whether you have it or
you are supporting someone with it.
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  1. Hi Dave,
    More like 110% big time hard work, It was bad enough tring to get myself educated and functioning, when my daughter was snached up before my eyes, I was trapped went into a mini episode, meds stopped to work, quit taking them, when I was tring to play it off at my daughters theapists appointment, he stood up and said “your doctor is doc Jones right” I said yes, he then said” I will be right back” He comes back with my doctor, then the bipolar was trapped, switched my meds, Doc. Jones says if this does not work you get up here and bug them till you get me- you know one of your storm the door deals. The bipolar was so slick knowing how guilty I would feel when it took my child, tricked me, when it was facing both those doctors it wanted to cower and slip out of the chair, but it could not get away. Bipolar hates the doctor, I love my daughter there was no way we were missing her appointment, I saw and experienced just how afraid bipolar really is that day. It is this slick beast, full of tricks- with absolutely no balls at all when it comes to doctors that know it. Here I thought I was up against this fearless beast, It is hard because of its trickery, and low down tactics it uses to take over. Even though I read about do not do the guilt thing, it was human nature for me to feel guilty, my mistake to let my gaurd down. Hard lesson you can feel guilty but never let your gaurd down- you will be had. Thank Dave,
    have a good day!!!!!

  2. Yes David, the truth of dealing with Bi-polar Disorder is not an easy job, nor is anything else in life for that matter. I know from experience that you cannot help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. You can’t stop that person who will not admit he/she needs help from the mental and physical abuse they inflict on you unless you get away from that person. You cannot make someone take their meds, if they choose not too. I can’t even have my daughter committed to the Psych Ward unless she is suicidal/homicidal, no matter how manic she is because she is 21 y/o now and, although I am responsible for her until she is 25, I have no right to do what is in her best interests, all I can do is persuade her to do what her Psych tells her to do. She doesn’t want to experience another episode like she just went through, but I do not even know that she took her meds last night. Why? Because I take my meds at the same time (unless there is a damn good reason I don’t) every day and go to sleep the same time so I can get up at the same time and so it goes. I am a woman of habit and I have a real good control on my emotions most of the time, but I can loose it like I did a short time ago when my Daughter and Husband were very Manic. My husband called the Sheriff to have my daughter kicked out in the streets, well I guess you can say that was the straw that broke the camel’s back because I told him that he could F***in leave, since he was so unhappy with things as they were. Well he couldn’t evict my daughter and he didn’t leave either and I gained my control back after a couple of days. I am glad you have so much success with your mother but you have to realize that there are others who are not on the right meds yet and tend to give up and nobody can change that no matter how hard a person who loves them try. I can sing some success stories but I can cry a lot more of unsuccessful stories. Some Manic Episodes lasting practically all the time because “There is nothing wrong with me, the rest of the world is nuts!” And phone calls after I left in the guise of wanting to talk to his daughter with a note for me afterwards “I have a bullet with your name on it!” Sometimes you just can’t stay with the one you love because the abuse is so extreme that you just plain cannot take anymore mental abuse or runs to the ER at the local hospital because you thought he would surely kill you before he quit this time. I am really afraid for Nightlady at this time as per her blogs her boyfriend is very manic and mean and could very well become physically abusive. Maybe that is why he no longer lives with her, perhaps he knows he could become physically violent so he left, I really do not know. But I have surely seen the ugly side of BPD and know what to look for well in order to survive. I have also seen the great side of a Bi-polar in control, their brilliance, creativity. When I start to get Manic my daughter typically points it out to mean so I get a chance to do whatever I have to so I can reign it in before I get worse. I would love to have all your info but I, and I am being the reasonable one now, will probably never be able to afford it. So I will rely on my experiences, whatever info I can find, and on my and my daughter’s Psych for dealing with the Bi-polar demons. I view Bi-polar Disorder as a roller coaster ride: Up, down, all around and sometimes a straight track. I really do appreciate your emails everyday, do not ever doubt that. I look for your emails before I do anything else when I get logged on in the AM. Thank you, HelenM BTW I am not manic right now, it took me an hour to write this, if I was manic I would have had it done in 10 minutes or so.

  3. hi Dave,In my behalf, I was married to a bipolar person, but the truth is that is not just being there, is getting consumed by the person, and damaged by them to. But if there is not sufficient love for that person the work is just an epiphany. And I have to say that my sons wealth came first. That person had his family and i can say they where all mentally damaged, But i found out to late to step bakc.

    p.s. my son is from my first marriage.

    I really find this blog interesting and i will be glad if i can stay in contact.

    A big hug and god bless you all.


  4. Hi Dave. I live in South Africa and was wondering how I would be able to get a physical copy of your books and programes. I’m new at the supporting part but i’m willing to put in the time and effort. And I would just like to see my loved one get better even if she leaves me at the end of this relationship. If you could please reply to my email account:, not

    I’ve already subscribed to your daily letter, my details are there.

    Dane Lausberg

  5. Dave: You are right. There is a tremendous need for the information you have worked so hard to put together. Most people, unfortunately, who need it can not afford it. I have a daughter who is bipolar, plus her husband is also. I have a grandson, age 22, who seems to be, not yet diagnosed,but seeing the path he is taking, his actions, etc. I believe that he is. He is my other daughter’s son. Sometimes I’m not even sure his mother is NOT also bipolar. Or stressed to the max!!Leastwise, life is full of problems. My part in this is I’m the glue that holds it all together. My husband suffers with depression, mood swings,anger that he can’t even explain. I’ve had thoughts of “What the heck will they all do when I’m gone?” Don’t get me wrong, things aren’t wild and crazy all the time. We are a close family. We have lots of love. We support one another. We have good moral, christian values. It’s just that my middle child has never been able to get it together-life-I mean. She got married right after high school. it didn’t last. He hit her several times. They divorced. She dated guys who were jerks for various reasons. She used too many drugs (meds) , went thru rehab, has done much better in that respect, but she got married to a guy who grew up in a very disfunctional family who was so “dumb” about common sense things.He has come a long way, but still not there!! He is also bipolar, plus sickly. He does work hard, but has trouble keeping a permanent job or one that pays enough to live in these times. They live in our garage apartment with 3 kids. It is cluttered and messy all the time. The kids strew their clothes and toys, paper, etc. I have tried every method I know to get her to clean up the place. It doesn’t seem to get through to her. She takes medication if she can get it. They can’t afford health insurance. They never seem to make ends meet. My husband and I have had several health issues going on for the past five years and our finances are very tight. They pay us $100, if they have it toward expenses each week. We have asked them to find their own place, but we never push it because the kids look to us for stability. They are in and out of my house all the time. I worry about the kids if they lived somewhere else, because of the type of place they could afford. I’m so thankful that I will be receiving your newsletters. We are at our wit’s end as how to deal with them. My son- in- law tries to help with the yard, and tears up equipment, tools, etc. because he has no common sense and no training and just is so impulsive and does “stupid” things when he gets aggravated because things don’t run smoothly, etc. I can see their 10 year old son following in his footsteps. Looking forward to any tips you may have and hoping I can afford your course at a later time. Thanks again. Jo

  6. I one person in my life who has bothered to know anything about bipolar disorder. No one in my family has researched any article, not even my husband. I told him i wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. He said he wished he could help. I have called my family during crisis times, and told them i was in crisis, they didn’t have time to talk. I am alone in this, and I am getting worse. At least I have a therapist.

  7. Dave,
    I have just come to the conclusion that my boss/best friend is in serious trouble. I have known her for three years and I never knew she was bipolar or that the disorder could be so unpredictable or painful!? She admitted to one of my co-workers several years ago that she did in fact have BPD because my co-workers son also has it. Neither of us had a clue how bad our friend/boss’s condition was however! I have just become aware through a small amount of research that during the manic episodes it was possible for them to be delusional and even have halucinations?! Sadly, it confirmed my worst fears as for the past 8 months my best friend has had me and others convinced that she was dating and even engaged to a famous person. I am not a stupid person, but I was totally and thoroughly convinced! I had been talking to her fiance (Her) all this time through emails and instant messenger and I would swear he was real??? I am so hurt and so devastated to realize I have been duped. Last month I caught her writing an email to herself and also sending me a text to me phone as if it were him. When I confronted her she said she only did it those few times because he had recently dumped her and she didn’t want anyone to know. At first I bought it, but then as I started really thinking about it and looked back at so many instances I realized she has made him up this whole time. I guess that the fact that I have never met him or talked to him on the phone and that something always came up to prevent us from meeting or speaking should have been my first clue! But her mother and her daughter had me convinced as well! The sad thing is that I believe she has somehow manipulated both her mother and nine year old daughter into keeping up this ruse as well. I just kept telling myself that he must be real, because if she were making him up all this time she would have to be really, really sick and she seems so very normal and in control! It wasn’t until my co-worker suggested that I look up symptoms of bi polar disorder online that it hit me like a ton of bricks. Right there in front of me it said that during a manic episode a person may have delusions and even believe that they have a relationship with a famous person!! I had no idea that people with bipolar had delusions and neither did my coworker. We are both very concerned about our friend/boss as now she seems to be unraveling and I am very concerned for her. I initially tried to talk to her before I realized that she was bipolar about the fact that even if she had made the whole thing up about this guy I would forgive her, still love her and always be her friend! She became really enraged and turned it back on me and said how could I think that she would make up the worst time in her life?? How can I help her? I don’t even know if her mother knows that she is not well or if she does, if she knows how serious her disorder is? I am at a loss as to how to help her. She is 48 years old, and she and her daughter live with her 80 year old mother, presumably to help out her mother. I am now wondering if it is the other way around. She is very good at work and aside from having periods of time when she doesn’t come to work, (for one excuse or another) she is an excellent employee and gets all of her work done and does it well! My other concern now is that since she really doesn’t have a well to do boyfriend, how has she managed to pay for 3 brand new vehicles in less than a year? I am frightened that somehow she has stolen the money from where we work and she is the controller for the company and it would be easy for her to hide the theft. Please give me some advice?? My co-worker and I are the only ones who know this and she says we can’t do anything, that we have to wait for her to ask for our help. I just can’t do that, I feel like I need to help her before she really goes off the deep end! Please tell me what you think?

  8. He Dave,
    I really think as you said is really hard to deal with a bipolar person but before fo all this they are humas beigs as we are so they deserve hapiness and a normal life too. Well like 7 months ago a met a guy that by the way his name is David, so i didnt realize until a few days ago he is bipolar. Our relation still up and down but we decide to be friends and for me that is the best way to give him a support. The only little big detail is the he doesnt know that i know he is bipolar. He is great person and i deserve the best for him.

  9. Some of us supporters have “learned helplessness”. We’ve tried for years to help, but to no avail. I agree with HelenM that you can’t make someone come to terms with their illness. You can’t make them “want” help. THEY have to want it for themselves for it to happen. Having a supportive supporter is part of the equation; the other part is the willingness of the bipolar person to accept they have a problem, and that they need help.

  10. One more thought. I believe this that came up a few weeks ago. Supporters who are also spouses are MUCH more affected. We have no “degree of seperation” from the person. Their goof-ups impact us and our children DIRECTLY. I believe this is different than supporting a parent, a sibling, a friend, maybe a child. It’s all difficult. But in a marriage you do have a choice about whether this relationship is mutually beneficial; and whether you want to live your life as a “supporter”. Dave, I appreciate your daily emails SO much. You are great. But I think it’s simplistic to say, “if the supporters are there 100% then you’ll have a success story”.

  11. Hi Dave,

    You left out the supporter who is willing to do whatever it takes, but the loved one takes that willingness away from the supporter by leaving. I’m quite certain that I’m not the only person that has had this happen to them.

    So be a little sad for us We’re not demons. We’ve tried, been abused and then abandoned. We are left with a sense of total failure and PTSD.

    Have some compassion for us too. You’ve been there. Fortunately for you she’s your mom, not your husband, wife or child.

    All the best,

  12. I agree with HelenM and what others have said along that line. I am support to my adult son but he doesn’t think he is bipolar. Also, as some of you said, you cannot force someone if they don’t want your help/support/advice. My son is 22 and won’t see a pdoc right now or take medication. After him having a few bad pdocs and my researching further, I’m not 100% sure if he has BP or how a pdoc made this diagnosis. After he was put on addictive benzo medications for anxiety three different times, he had a manic episode each time he stopped the meds and each were all a year apart. He was then diagnosed with BP and I still don’t know if it was BP or if the meds caused the manic episodes! There is a long story so can’t explain it all here. Even if he has BP, after reading and researching other sites like: and There is some very informative and interesting information that everyone diagnosed with a mental illness should read! On the Fourseasons site you can read a rebuttle to what David Oliver wrote about “No meds equals death”… Do yourself a favor and go to the site and scroll down to April 16th,08 to read this.

    I’m sure David is helping people with BP and I’ve been reading his emails for about 2.5 years now. I finally purchased some of his material hoping to help my son with his denial, finding a good pdoc, etc., and to be a good supporter for him. I’m sorry to say, the information I bought was not much more than what I had already learned easily on my own for free. The bells and whistles offered on David’s site sucked me in, but when I got the material there was either nothing I didn’t aready know or it didn’t answer my concerns as it suggested it would. It reminded me of the medical newsletters/ads that come in the mail with lots of tag lines to draw you in but you have to order the info to get the answers, which is fine but when you do, the answer is a big let down and disheartening. I have since heard this from others as well.

    Anyway, I hope most of you are receiving help from David’s site. I’m sure many of you have. Most of David’s emails are nice to read and have good info. Although, some of the time it seems he is using guilt or scare tactics to get people to buy his material. I’m sure he’s a good guy and means well but to say what he did about being a ‘good supporter’.. Seems he’s trying to put shame or guilt on many people who have desperately tried to support a loved one who will not comply, even using David’s advice. The fact is, he knows nothing about these supporters or their situation to judge. It is cruel and truly unfair!!

    Like most of you…I will always be a support and help my son but he has to allow my support and to want to help himself as well! Maybe David has an answer for that or must I buy it…oh yeah! I did and it wasn’t there! From what I’ve read, David’s mom never questioned she had BP and was willing to have David’s support. A big difference!

    Currently my son is doing well, thank God.

    Good will and Blessings to all of you,

  13. Dave – how do I purchase your products if I am BPD with severe, major depression — I have no means financially and my family would like me to ‘disappear’ if you know what I mean. Please help me. I am not working, have no income, no health insurance. How can I make things better? Please advise….Dave, please answer me. Thanks – Kerrie

  14. Yeah – but what do you do when your so-called “supporter” doesn’t even BELIEVE you’re mentally ill? My Mom refused to believe there was anything psychologically wrong with me. She KNEW I had to take meds and go to my appointments (she even took me there), but HER precious daughter didn’t HAVE a flaw!!

    Well, I’ve done a LOT of growing up since my Mom had Alzheimer’s and died. I had to become my OWN supporter, and it was HARD. I hate to say this, but I haven’t had a full-blown manic episode since she passed on. There was 7 years between her passing and my meeting my second husband. I had an apartment house to run – and that ain’t easy!

    My husband died 5 years after I met him, and 3 months after I married him. I MUST have drawn my strength from SOMEWHERE. I agree with most of the bloggers here, that you CAN’T do it alone. I have a STRONG faith, and I believe that God has seen me through the rough times.

    I now have a condo (which, if I’m not careful, I will lose in 9 months), a wonderful boyfriend (who I only see on weekends), and a fairly “normal” life. But – I follow a strict treatment plan. It IS hard, and it DOES take “blood, sweat and tears” to “maintain” when you’re bipolar. But – the rewards are worth it!

    Sure – I have my anxiety attacks, my “down” times, and have had mini-episodes during that time. But – I HAVE survived through KNOWING what I HAD to do, and just “getting by” the best way I know how.

    By the way, my CAT scan went very well. Thanks for all your good thoughts. I feel better now that it’s all over, though!

    BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. Please pray for Susan as she goes through a hard time. And save a little prayer for me as I go through this hard financial/physical/emotional time right now. Thank you.

  15. Jennifer,

    Consumed is just how I often feel about being “always on call” for my son. Actually, although my mother loves her grandson immensely and supports me as much as she can at 80 and living in another town, often, I feel that if I give up on my son, he will have no one who loves him unconditionally who will choose to be there for him. But it is exhausting much of the time.

    Angela H

  16. Jo,
    I worry about what will happen to my son if something happens to me. He worries what he will do without me too. I can’t live forever (especially with such extended periods of stress!) and yet I don’t know if anyone would come along for my son who would be strong enough yet compassionate enough to love him enough to stay married to him. He would make an excellent husband and father if he would take his meds regularly, see a counselor and practice what they suggest.

    Angela H

  17. Ana,

    You said a lot of things that are right on, as far as I’m concerned!

    Don’t get discouraged by the remarks here. Just listen to what we all have said and give it some thought. Your e-mails are usually very encouraging and helpful it’s just that this time maybe we here can teach you something. Each person’s experience with bi-polar is different in some ways from someone else’s experience and no one solution works in all circumstances. People aren’t businesses that will always thrive with hard work and dedication or machines that have tailor made parts. People have their own wills and combination of skills, temperments, maturity, etc. and just aren’t as predictable and controllable.

    Angela H

  18. Help! I’m at my wits end! My (possibly soon to be ex) boyfriend has completely taken over everything. He stopped taking his meds a week ago, moved into my (rented) house with a ton of junk spread all over the house and garden. He is so manic and I think it’s going to be me who will end up in the psych ward before long. He plays loud music all night long, has upset all the neighbours, talks to me like I was dirt, threatens me (verbally), talks and talks and talks. Some things he says are totally crazy, like being God’s special ambassador, and other things make no sense at all. He has been evicted from his home and has nowhere else to stay and while I can’t put him out in the street I can’t put up with this much longer either. Whenever I mention medicine and doctors etc. he threatens me. He is not himself. I fell in love with Dr. Jekyll and can’t cope with Mr. Hyde. I have had to make do with just 2 or 3 hours sleep / rest in 24 for the last week and I am exhausted. He didn’t go to sleep at all in the last 36 hours! Am I a lousy supporter and just an enabler? I promised him not to put him in the psych ward, but I can’t let him destroy my life. I know he will hate me if I betray him and I will lose him, but then I have lost the kind, loving, good man already. I hope and pray now in my despair that he is going to crash, as that’s the only thing that will save us.

  19. Hello Dave,
    I just want you to know that your emails have given me a lot of information and support. I wish I would have been able to educate myself a long time ago. My ex husband is bi polar he is ony 25 and was diagnosed maybe only 3 years ago. We were together almost 10 years and have 5 beautiful children. His first trip to the hospital was pretty scary and I thought he could just take his medicine and things would be ok. It was court ordered so after a year he stopped taking it. I think me and the doctor who diagnosed him were the only ones who thought something was actually wrong with him. Everyone around him blamed it on his drug use. Which I’m sure didnt help. But it could have been him trying to mask the pain all these years. When I filed for divorce it sent him into a whirlwind of destruction. He was just recently commited a few months ago for only a few weeks. I even went and testified on behalf of his behavior it looked like he would spend a good six months. But I got a call a couple of days later him asking if he could come stay with me til he got his own place. I said yes and I realized that I am not able or willing to be the 100% supporter he deserves. I feel like I’ve really let him down and like a failure. No one else sees him as mentally ill only as a drug addict. But I’ve been the one to see everything and all the things I read about bi polar match him. I’m 29 and a single mom of 5 children. I wish I could have a “normal” life but I’m afraid that by trying to be his #1 supporter I am putting my own mental stabilty in danger. I grew up watching my mother deal with her manic depression but didnt know thats what it was until I was 16. I feel weak for not being able to do the things that I know are right for my Gabriel. I guess thank you for reading this and know that I am not a horrible person I just am part of that group that cant give it the 100%. But I still read your information everyday thinking it will spark something in me and make me want to take on the challlenge.
    Thank You, Selina

  20. Dave,

    I have very little support from my family and small handfull of friends that are either Bipolar themselves or know someone who’ve they’ve helped.. Sometimes just knowing someone is there to escape to is a great help and often don’t have to reach out, cause I’m not alone and believe I can achieve stability on a regular basis..

    I have one daughter who has written me off and claim to believe my thoughts and feelings are nonsensical crap. I’m at a loss as to how to deal with her.. I raised her to independent and she is.

    My other daughter is genuinely concerned but uneducated. Do I share my struggles and victories with her or give her a pamphlet or maybe go over the pamphlet with her and try to water the seed of interest together.. I want to be there for her and she is for me.. I think we can take a notch or two in the direction of reality and not just chit chat..

    Any help in recruiting family and informing them.. Do we have any control on the level of interest they might have for my well being. Is there magic words to turn their evasive attitude or is just the way it is.. As mom Should I just remember holidaze and show interest even if it unreciprocated.. in hopes that age and experience will soften their attitude towards me.. I held it together until they were old enough to think for themselves. But time came for me to focus on myself and my recovery to a stable life. 2 states away but not too far to communicate and build a good relationship and taking time to visit and share time together..

    Lost my own downward spiral. Today.. Tomorrow will surely show me something new.. Especially with your letters. They are the positiveness that brightens my daily acceptance of my disorder and possible success…


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