Yes, David, I agree ignorance regarding a lot of things is a killer. I am ignorant about a lot of things: I can’t fly an airplane, etc. But what I do know, I know! If I don’t know and need to know I do all I can to learn, especially, when it comes to mental and physical illnesses. There is an old saying: Ignorance is bliss! Might be if your mate is cheating on you and you do not want to know or other similar things, but that can be a killer too if your mate brings AIDS home to you while you are fighting hard to be ignorant of what is happening in your relationship. If a cop stops you for speeding and you say that you didn’t know the speed limit had changed ignorance will not stop you from getting a ticket, well most of the time depending on circumstances. I definitely agree with Knowledge is Power and the more you can learn the better equipped you are to deal with whatever the situation is and most important when it comes to mental and physical health.

Hiya, Dave!

I agree with you that ‘knowledge is power’ and have often held little time for people who fail to attempt to go out and learn. If I ever come across a subject that I know little about, I strive to read up on it so that in future group conversations, I can hold my own educated opinions during debates. (Must be the talkative LIBRAN in me!)

When I was finally diagnosed with ‘Cyclothymia’, (after years of mis-diagnosis, whereby my instincts told me NOT to take my anti-depressants, so I self-medicated with cigarettes and alcohol instead), I quickly filtered out the rubbish on the Internet and signed up to your site. I also read up loads in the Library and even now, I constantly ask my Doctor, Nurse, Psychiatrist and Therapist questions, as and when they occur to me, because I refuse to let this condition “beat me”.

I gave up cigarettes over a year ago and alcohol on 2nd January 2008. The latter was mostly down to an e-mail that you sent stating that one may get away with drinking on the odd occasion, but not forever, plus my Therapist had reminded me of the empty calories in alcohol and as I am trying to lose weight after the new medication piled it on to me last year, I decided that enough was enough.

My partner still drinks too much every day, but he is now attempting to cut down, because he does not want me to ‘dump’ him again. I told him that every time one gets really drunk, 100,000 brain cells get destroyed and one can never get them repaired. After reasoning with him that the average human only uses 10% of the brain, (even ‘Einstein’ allegedly only used 18%!), I agreed with him that this statistic does not at first appear startling, especially if the cells killed are within the 90% region. However, I hit home my point when I stated that the trouble starts when the 100,000 cells murdered come from the 10% part of the brain being frequently used, which can lead to all kinds of problems, especially memory loss. (Martin often gets abusive with me when he is drunk, but cannot remember the next day.)

So, after ingesting all the knowledge that I can about ‘Bipolar’ and obediently taking my different medications; abstaining from alcohol and cigarettes; eating more little meals daily rather than three larger ones, plus exercising my dogs further as I used to do before my last ‘episode’, I have lost a stone in weight since Chritmas without trying and am on my way towards stabilising.

Knowledge is indeed power!

Take care,

Sue and all the animals. x

I HAVE BEEN LOSING FRIENDS TO THIS DISORDER SINCE 1964 AT PENN STATE.

AS PART OF THE MOOD DISORDER GROUP OF LI & NY METRO I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO BRING HOPE & INFO TO THE WORLD.

FINALLY, THE UNIVERSE IS CATCHING UP TO ME AND WE HAVE A VOICE LIKE YOURS, DAVE.

KEEP IT UP FOR ALL OF US IN USA.

My husband battles with Bipolar and the only way that I could get him to accept it and go to the doctor was to tell him that I want a Divorce. I was tired of the way that he was treating My children and the way that he was treating me. I appreciate all of the information that you have given on the Website and I have printed all that I could. All is good for now lets see how long it takes him to get right.

Wouldn’t disagree at all with the theme of today’s email.

Of course, knowledge is not the same as wisdom, nor is it necessarily what prompts action.

When a mind is totally confused, as can be the case esp with a BP Type 2 in a mixed episode, knowledge can make little difference because the mind may be so confused by the rush that is causing the “pain” of a mixed episode, it become near, if not totally, impossible to think clearly – confusion. What IS NOT confusing for a BP Type 2 in such a state is that they are in a heightened state of aware of their illness at such a point, they are under no delusions, they feel the pain of the depressive side of the mixed episode and they retain one “auto” recall bit of knowledge, which is, in effect: “this has happened before, its happening now and it will again.” That may not necessarily be true but that’s how it seems. Plus it’s exaggerated by the mind’s one processes of perception.

Eh? (I wonder if David knows about this one.) When I was at college this is what they taught us:

The perception of pain (be that physical or mental) feels worse after the first time you felt it than when it is experienced for the first time. This is, I understand, because you are not actually feeling the real pain, you are feeling an automated heightened memory of it from the past. This is why the fear of a pain is usually much greater a disturbance to someone than the actual pain! Remember how scared you were to go to the dentist, of fear of the pain, and how when he got out the d rill or needle it didn’t hurt as much as you expected?

Apparently, this occurs because the mind makes us feel a heightened sense of SUBSEQUENT FEARS of a particular pain and EXPERIENCES of it to invoke an automatic “fight or flight” response! In other words, it makes us fear that pain and makes us feel a memory of it more acutely to persuade us to avoid it! It knows we must avoid pain because pain is usually a consequence of something that is harmful to our bodies.

You may know, when “fight or flight” is envoked by the body, the blood rushes inwards from the peripheral parts of the body, and injects a massive amount of adrenaline into the blood stream making the body LESS SENSITIVE TO PHYSICAL PAIN. (All the more easy to harm yourself, then – it won’t hurt so much …) It also diverts blood away from the parts of the brain responsible for cognitive thinking, flooding those parts used for ACTION! What does this mean?

My guess (like David also says, I’m not a specialist) is it means:

a) a BP remembering what the “pain” of a mixed episode felt like is less able to do something rational about it when they are scared of, or by, it happening again.

b) a BP person in this type of stress will become aggressive (irritability) verbally and or physically. And this aggression can be turned outwards against some poor sap who is just in the way at the time, or (more probably) inward against oneself.

This reaction against oneself is also mixed, I would think – both flight AND fight, where there is an attempt to fight the pain and to run from it. But there is no where to run except metaphorically, or actually, under a train. Knowledge of what to do when this occurs?

Knowledge may not have a chance to come into the equation because the brain’s ability to reason, to think through, is virtually switched off. It’s in an automated kind of animal-instinctive mode – that’s fight or flight. Where BP Type 1’s have an “advantage” over BP Type 2’s is that they are more likely to be totally delusion and quite unaware of their illness. In such a case, there is no pain! As the BP Type 2 is, I am told, much more likely to have mixed episodes, it probably explains why BP Type 2’s, although more likely able to live a relatively normal life, they are also at a greater risk of suicide. Indeed, statistics show Type 2’s ARE more likely to kill themselves than the Type 1’s.

HOWEVER … and I think this is totally in tune with what David is teaching … when knowledge becomes embedded in the memory, it may also become an automated response! Duh? Well, you’ve seen how a boxer or any other martial arts fighter AUTOMATICALLY reacts to an attack from one way or another? They have practiced the defensive move so very often that, when they need it, it “just happens” almost without any CONSCIOUS thought: virtually an automated (non-conscious) reaction! At least, that’s the theory … if it ever happens to me again, and I’m around to tell you about it, perhaps that will show this theoretical (for me) approach works!

Hi Dave,
You go! Knowledge is the strongest weapon we have.
Thamnks, Karen

David, I would like to share a bit with you.I have battling this mental illness for about 8yrs(most likely all my life really) only cuz I was told by a doctor I was “depressed” then about 2 yrs into being depressed I truly found out that I had bi-poplarII.I do not know much about it,what I do know is how it makes me feel. So not only am I ignorant but so was the doctors that “helped” me. I was put on another med in Jan. I thought it was the greatest thing ever,but it has made me this aweful person-I just cant seem to do anything,even the wash. I spent easter thinking I really just need to be at peace and those close to me need to be away from this pain I infick on them.Yes even with the meds-two kinds-I wanted to kill myself and if my husband wasnt there I would have.I am tried of not knowing this illness.I am going to get the meds changed and be more on top of this.Thank you for your book and this site.
Jude

Again, Dave, you are right on…and not only is IGNORANCE deadly and knowledge POWERFUL but in society, these days, especially in schools,
people believe that they know it all or no longer are open to learning MORE. With Bipolar, this is deadly because everyday one can increase their knowledge and become better aware as new things are discovered or learned, but people refuse to learn or be opened. The denial of Bpd or the lack of knowing keeps people from progressing and moving forward!
All of your points are very powerful! There is way too much MISINFORMATION about Bipolar and
too many MISCONCEPTIONS of both patient and supporter! Society perpetuates many untruths! I CHOOSE
Knowledge but shake my head at the multitudes of people content to be and stay ignorant as regards BPD! Thanks to you and your hours of research and dedication some truths are being made known and some people are expanding their limited vision and knowledge. Keep up the good work and trying to convince people to grow in knowledge!

Today’s email is most appropriate. I got a shock earlier today. This last week has been the best since my boyfriend and I had first met. We spent nearly every night together and met up during the day. We had the best fun, the best sex, the best understanding – everything seemed totally perfect. We had some very intimate discussions and made some possibly achievable plans. First he told me he wasn’t going to see his therapist anymore, as he didn’t need her. He said I was a much better therapist for him (I was flattered) as I seem to understand his condition (thanks to Dave’s emails and this blog I do understand a lot more than I used to about bipolar). The therapist is only peripheral and he sees her about once every 6 or 8 weeks for an hour. It may not make a huge difference, as long as he keeps up his regular visits to his psychiatrist, about once a fortnight, and his doctor for tests and prescriptions etc. I’m not a professional therapist, but have some experience in counselling. For over a year now I have been trying to scrape up the money for a course which would qualify me as a counseller in the end. Hopefully next year I will be able to do it.

We have been blissfully happy these last few days. Perhaps too happy? It had crossed my mind. I have had very little sleep and still seem full of energy and everyone tells me I look very well. He has had almost no sleep at all in a week and the few hours at night he wasn’t with me he was doing a lot of painting, as well as fixing broken kettles, phones, cd players etc. I have been writing and spring cleaning. He has been smoking a lot more (the one thing I hate, although at least he has no worse addictions). We have both been drinking a lot of coffee (one of my addictions). He kept saying how wonderful life was, how much he loved me, everything was beautiful, etc.

Earlier today I casually asked in conversation whether his doctor had increased or decreased his anti-depressants (something he has always done: increased them when he was “down” and decreased them when he seemed to be getting “too far up.” It seems to work). Then he dropped the big bombshell!

“I tried it out myself, just to see how it goes. I haven’t taken any medication for the last four days, and I feel great!”

I stayed calm (maybe part of the shock) and said something like: “Is that wise? Shouldn’t you discuss that with your doctor?”

“Why? Have I been acting strangely or been unpleasant in any way?”

“No, maybe a little bit ‘hyper’, I thought you were happy because you got rid of them false friends who were winding you up and everything is better without them. But it could be dangerous to just stop taking your medicine…”

“I know when I start feeling funny, I’ll go to the doctor…” etc. Then he changed the subject and started talking about a picture he was painting for me. When I kept on about the medicine, he got a bit stroppy and told me:

“I thought you were different and understood me, but you’re as bad as all the rest, telling me what to do.” etc.

Then I did some work and went home. He sent a text about the picture and I said: “Thanks, as your new therapist I advise you to see your doctor and sort out your medication asap.” I got no reply to that. Now, I’m worried and probably won’t get any sleep tonight. I’m worried that if he gets any “higher up” he will crash. I’m worried that if he doesn’t see sense he could end up in the psych ward, etc. etc. He has been taking his meds religiously up to now and I don’t understand why he suddenly thinks it’s such a good idea to stop. He even tries to make out he was doing it all for me. I’d rather he stopped smoking (for me and for himself). Apart from giving him advice (which he may accept or not) there seems nothing I can do to help.

Yes, David, I agree that we need to get all of the knowledge we can about Bipolar.

While I am posting just wanted to let you know. My son had a bad episode. During that episode he put his fist through the bathroom door, almost put his sister through the slideing glass door, who is very small and probably would have bled to death before we could get help, if I hadn’t been there it probably would have happened, I stoped her from falling into the door. He then broke her cell phone when she tried to call the police. This all started because he couldn’t take a shower when he wanted to, his sister was in the shower at the time. We only have one bathroom. When his sister got out of the shower he started calling her bad names when she said something bad about the people he hangs out with he went crazy. I finally got my son to agree to go to the doctor. All of the doctors in this area were not taking new patients the only doctor that would see him is our local mental clinic and they couldn’t see him till April 15 this episode happened over a month ago. The mental health clinic was the first place he went to they didn’t help him the first time. The first time I had to sign him into the hospital who only kept him one week and had him so medicated when he came home that all he could do was sleep. I asked the doctor to please change his medicine she asked me, “do you want him sleeping or angry all of the time?” I wish I could find someone to help him. He won’t go any where out of town or where he has to wait long. He cannot sit still for long. He is constatnly on the run. My daughter and I are at the end of our ropes. We never know when this is going to happen or what will cause it to happen.

My husband who wishes to remain ignorant about Bipolar said if he had been home it would have never happened. He said we need to just stay out of his way and not talk to him when he gets like this.

Any time my son asks for money my husband says you know how he will get just give it to him. I tell him that we have a hard enough time keeping our bills paid, a roof over our heads, food in our mouths, and cars on the road. My son receives an SSI check which he spends in a short time. I am his representative payee so I have to make sure he has what he needs. Since my husband insists that we give him what ever he wants I sometimes have to charge what he wants. I am 44 years old and will never be able to retire because I will always be in debt.

Janet

David,

I just got your email letter for May 26, 2008. You are going on and on about how the doctor’s office accidentally called your mother’s house and gave her your test results. Yes, this was a mistake, but I don’t think it was such a terrible mistake, that you needed to be angry about it all day. Sometimes I think you have some obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Borderline bipolar?

There are things in this life that are much worse than a doctor’s office accidentally calling your mother and giving her your negative test results…

Two days ago, my bipolar cousin, who had been on lithium for 20 years, died at the age of 37. She left behind a husband, two children, and many other loving family and friends. She was always medicine compliant for her bipolar.
However, she took too many over the counter drugs, including aspirin. The aspirin probably irritated an ulcer, and the ulcer ruptured the other night. She went into the emergency room with extreme pain, and her physician dismissed that pain as a manic episode, and had her transferred to the mental ward. Needless to say, she should have had her physical complaints checked out. They weren’t, and the ulcer ruptured, resulting in severe kidney damage and a heart attack. She died when no brain function was found, and the respirator was turned off.
We all need to question our doctors, and make sure they follow up and do things correctly. These men are not God. They are human beings, and they make mistakes like the rest of us.
If you think you are upset because of a clerical error in the doctor’s office, you can imagine what my cousin’s family must be feeling at this time. Not every ailment a bipolar has is from their brain’s chemical imbalance! And we need to keep reminding our doctors of this!

SuzanneWA:
I Pray for all I know are struggling with any type of illness or difficult situation. I got a sort of surprise on Wednesday when I took my daughter in to see her Psych and he had some time to talk to me as well. I thought I was always diagnosed as Clinically Depressed, as I know depression so well, and considered myself to be a BPD supporter for my daughter and my husband and now I know that my Psych has been treating me for years for BPD! I can diagnose it well in others, like my husband and I got married in October of 01 and about 6 months later I recognized BPD symptoms in him! He refuses counseling but he is fairly stable with meds most of the time and his manic episodes are not very severe nor do they last very long. But I could recognize it in him, but not in myself! What an eye opener that was. I wanted to tell you that I am also Praying that WA in your user name stands for the state of Washington, as I live in Idaho and we may meet someday and Pray together. To me that would be the ultimate experience to meet and Pray with someone whom I pray so much for! I believe in the power of Prayer and that all Prayers are answered, maybe not what we are actually wanting, but answered anyways and I know in my heart that while you are struggling so hard to stay afloat and keep yourself stabilized that there must something good for you at the end of this hard road you are on. So take care and hang on and I will always have Prayers for you. God Loves Us All