Hi Dave,

Those “stories” sound familiar. Here’s a few more: Marriage counselor allows bp person to dominate counseling sessions; doesn’t say “this person is mentally unstable so “marriage” counseling is a waste of time. Family doctor thinks he’s qualified to treat the mental illness. Psychiatrist allows hypomania to progress to mania, in spite of wife’s tip off’s.

Through all of this, I especially appreciate my pastor who put his foot down, and would not continue having drop-in talks with my husband unless he “came clean” and told him he had bipolar disorder.

Here is a funny that Guys will appreciate:

Why Guys Can’t Win

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it’s exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it’s favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.

If you cry, you’re a wimp.
If you don’t, you’re insensitive.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you’re a control freak.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s manipulation.
If she asks you, it’s a favor.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re self-centered.
If you don’t, you’re a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you’re after something.
If you don’t, you’re not thoughtful.

If you’re proud of your achievements, you’re an egotist.
If you’re not, you’re not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she’s tired.
If you have a headache, you don’t love her anymore.

I am a bipolar survivor,not a supporter. I haven’t had any major episodes, a few minor ones. Nothing that required being in the hospital. I have been on meds for over 3 years and am managing pretty well. I did, however give some of your ideas to my boyfriend so he could look out for problems. I also have a plan in place in case of an episode that leads to hospitalization.

Dear Dave,
I had all kinds of problems that I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I tried so many times to commit suicide. Almost succeeded 4 times. I was going to counselor after counselor and no one could seem to help me. Then the 6th time I was in the hospital, they decided I was bi-polar 1. The psychiatrist I was seeing there made the diagnosis. It still took one more trip to the hospital before I could actually believe my psychiatrist and start taking my meds. I did things I am so ashamed of and my counselor told me that I needed to tell my wonderful husband all my secrets and that was a big turn around in our lives. I still have some manic and depressive episodes, but nothing like it used to be. Plus with the wealth of information you have given me and my counselor, we are able to get through so much together. My husband isn’t real frustrated like he used to be. He can spot sometimes when I am fixin to go into an episode, plus he is real gentle in reminding me to take my meds if I forget. There is so much freedom now in our lives. Sometimes I still mess up, but as I said before, nothing is as it used to be. I am learning to ask the right questions of my doctor and talk to her when I feel something isn’t right or new symptoms of any kind and it has really helped. Also being involved in my care has helped alot.

To BPSERENITY: I’m going to share your “funny” with my boyfriend! It really “hits the nail on the head” as far as I’m concerned…

Keep us laughing, as I know you will.

Thanks,
SuzanneWA

DEAR DAVID OLIVER: Hi there, I just wanted to quickly thank you again for calling me about my son. Thursday we went on job interviews and he is starting to feel alive again. I left him no option but get a job. He tried to tell me he is mentally disabled yesterday and I said “no you are not” and in some ways being bipolar is a gift. It makes you artistic and creative and can actually assist you in your work. I told him about the blog and how I talked to you and that “if you tell a person they are sick or disabled they will become that way”. “You are perfectly capable of working and being productive and that is what you are going to do.”

The bad news is that he doesn’t want to take the seroquel anymore. I called his med subscribing office and left that message to see if he can try a lower dose not to make him feel so sedated all the time or if there is another med he can try. I told him this is a bad choice…do you want that to happen again where you hurt yourself because it will. I explained to him that many bipolar people stop the meds. I believe we are really on the right track now. Hope he gets one of the two jobs he applied for because that will make it where he is at my home more for the purpose of getting to work. He will be more successful in a stable environment.

I know you are busy so have a great day and thanks again. I really wish I could get on the blog more but two jobs, four kids and a bipolar supporter and a boyfriend, pets. Life is busy. Take care. Keep up the good work. Laurie Dillenbeck aka Dillon’s mom

Oh, yes!

We know about trouble with mental health professionals. Our son was diagnosed with ADD in third grade, then with Bipolar in 6th grade, after hearing voices during a manic episode. He had been on low doses of Ritalin during school hours, so we took him off. The psychiatrist saw him 2 times, and wanted to put our son on antipsychotics. We were afraid of overmedicating our son. Soon after, he said the voices went away. We didn’t know if he was “really” Bipolar.

Over the next 3 years, we saw a couple of therapists, but didn’t feel like they were very helpful or proactive about problem-solving. We weren’t good at recognizing the pattern yet – we kept thinking that if we could change our parenting techniques, things would be fine. During an episode, we would think that if only we spent less time focusing on homework, or more time, or spent more time in activities, or cut back, or more time out with friends, or more time at home…etc., then things would get better. Eventually, they would get better, and we would think it was because we had figured out the problem.

This year, our son started high school. As usual, things seemed great the first 2 months of school. Then, our son started threatening other students. he got suspended 3 times in a month. Part of the reason it took us so long to figure out his patterns, is that he doesn’t get “happy” mania (forgive me for being jealous of those of you who do)… our son gets hyper, anxious, fearful, paranoid, and suicidal. His depression is more about constantly complaining that his stomach is bothering him, and that he “can’t” get up.

We made appointments with several adolescent psychiatrists, and got on their waiting lists (3 – 4 months!) and got our son in with a psychologist. The psychologist seemed really good at first, he saw us a ton. Then, he said he thought there was a lot more going on than Bipolar, and wanted to do a whole battery of tests$$$$ (I think it’s because – yes, our son behaves very strangely when he’s manic). We were also concerned about our son getting arrested or expelled from school, so the psych. suggested that we get him a medical leave of absence, switch pediatricians to one he worked with, and have the psych. evaluate him. That sounded good, so we started that process in late October.

School systems are required to evaluate children for free in a timely manner, but they may not be as thorough. We knew it was important for our son to be designated as special education, so that they can be more flexible with his schedule, and offer him more assistance when he’s in an episode (besides just repeatedly suspending him).

The psychologist will (finally!!!) be reporting on his evaluation this Saturday, and we are waiting till the middle of Feb. for a psychiatrist. I had to fight my husband to get him to let our son go back to school, without a special ed. designation – because we are worried he might slip back into an episode, even though he’s been stable at home for a few weeks – Bipolar is tricksy, we know…. Everything seems fine right now, and we are keeping our fingers crossed.

We have our son, unmedicated, without any real help at school, hoping that he can stay stable (he’s really a wonderful kid when he’s stable). We are still waiting for the experts…

There has been nobody who has been as supportive, caring, responsive, and informative as David Oliver. Thank you!! You have saved our family this year. We are starting to really see the big picture here, instead of always responding to the crisis, wondering what’s wrong.

Thanks again, Dave.

kelly

This is so true,(excuse my spelling)
My husband served in dersert storm. He and six others from his group where pulled out and debriefed. One man had slit a little girls throat and had to sit on her for 5 days.(they were in enemy territory) My husband would not tell me the rest of the story, which most dont like to talk about it. He was not allowed to i think too. He and the 6 others were brought to a mental hospital where he was told he was homicidal, suicidal, post dramactic stress syndrom. (not bipolar) He was medicadted wrong!!!!!! Our lovely goverment relesed him into the world and said he would be fine with group counceling. JOKE!!!! He would sleep with a gun under his pillow and just be a nervouse reck. We would go out to public places and he would just freak out if someone looked at him , he punched people in the face, called people horrbile things. was very racial. He kicked out dog so hard , teased and picked on our kids. I was so imbaressed to go anyhwere with him. I had asked his mom what was he like as a kid, well hyper, out of control, bad temper. So they thought the army would be a place to straighten him out!!! After he abusied me went to jail three times and just was plain lost i knew something else was the matter with him than post tramtic syndrom. I started looking around and found his symtoms were alot like bipolar. He finally went to see a doctor well a psychiatrist. She has been a wonderful God send. She knows her stuff. She knew that he needed to be medicated right away. He was honest with her about it all. I seen this evil person vanish. He takes triliptal and something for anxiety. He was doing so great, i beleive there are good doctors out there that care about this illness. Now, my husband taking these meds like he is suppose to well that is a story all in its self. Mostly he does. He has not gone back to see her in 4 months, not so good. He also needs to be going to VA support group to talk about the war thing. But he is grown and I cant drag him there kicking a screaming. But the things I am learning I know better to call the police when he is in a rage or threating to hurt some poor person in public. Dont give up there is a good Doctor out there.
Have a great day everyone.

Concerned Mom,

Hello! WOW I can’t believe a doctor said that!

If that were ME as I am BP I would fire his ass and find a new one. I might even think about turning him in for such cruelty.

I suffer terrible depression it is the worst part of my illness. It is great that the mania is under control as that is very important as well.

I take a mood stabilizer and I also take a sleeping anti-anxiety (it is a histamine blocker) so like benadryl it makes you drowsy but it has the anti anxiety factors in it. That is what keeps my depression minimal because I need sleep to keep from getting blue which will eventually turn into mania if left unchecked.

Does your son have therapy on top of psychiatrist? Some depression is reined in through a variety of therapies.

For me antidepressants don’t work as they work to feed off my BP and I go into rapid cycling from them.

My prayers are with you and your son. I HOPE YOU ARE NOT OVER BURDENED AND HAVE SOME PERSONAL HELP, AS THIS ALSO AFFECTS SUPPORTERS ALMOST EQUALLY!

Graham also made me realize recently, that I could also have more than just BP as Dysthymia was mentioned I really could relate with most of it and the depression battles made more sense to me. I am told only therapy works with that disorder so I have been doing what is right all along, but it helps to know that other things may be at the root cause.

Hi Dave, Is everything OK, I did not receive an email today. I love the, “Love me for who I am, the who I am today.” It carrys me all day. Hope all is well.
Thanks, Karen