I have Bipolar II and Borderline Personality. I have signed up for your minicourse and am in the mist of reading it. Your master courses sound really helpful. However, I am unemployed and am trying to get my disability income. Therefore, I have no income whatsowever an no money to purchase the Master Courses. It is all I can do to keep my home at this point. Is there any suggestions to help me get the master courses?

Thank you,
Barbara

My Husband of 2 years is threatening a divorce, ever since I had him committed into a hospital 18 months ago. We Have a strange marriage where most the time im in NY and he is in Louisanna. I dont think he really wants a divorce and begged him to let me come to Louisana for a year to prove how much I love him. before he goes through with a divorce in october. He is a wonderful Man but his bipolar makes him want to help people that dont want to help themselves. Im thinking of just packing my stuff and moving down there without his permission, So he has to tell me in person that he dont love me and wants his divorce.

Dave

I have a friend that I believe is bipolar. My mom managed to get him to see a doctor but the doctor did not give him a diagnosis at all. According to my mom he gave him some sort of test and didn’t even spend a full hour with him. I told her I didn’t believe it would be done in one visit. Now he’s broken up with a girlfriend that loves him and he’s moving elsewhere out of state. He says he’ll be back but where he’s going it’s on the other side of the country. I don’t believe he’s ever had a major episode but he does have sympltoms of bipolar disorder. And so he doesn’t see that there is anything wrong. So at this point it doesn’t look like there’s anything we can do but stand back and continue to support him when he allows us to. Is this a common sinerio?

Dear Dave. A few year ago. I ran across you on the internet. And I guess I am a success story. I am the one with bi-polar. And I was sick and tired of going into episodes..a polite way of wording this horriable~yet manageable disease. It has been literally years since I have blown it. Dave I have followed your plan to the T. And Have found it very beneficial. Dave I was sick and tired of my children having to take care of mom. When I feel an episode coming on. I have learned to talk to my doctor,,immediately. ANd tell the doctor,, no listen to me, this is what is happening. Dave it works. I have gotten my finances in order..I might be a rareity. because I am the one with BiPolar. But thru this course. and your wonderful emails. Dave I can hear the hurt in your voice of the things you have had to endure from your mom. and I surely do not want my children or grandchildren to go thru this. I have gotten to know me very very well. My daughter just got married. Literally one week ago. And it was one of those things. where I knew my ex was to be there. I was sinking into an episode. so I got my own game plan going. I got the right meds. talked to my doctor. and I have to say, even thru the midst of the trumoil surrounding me, I made it! I could have easily sunk into a hole of dispare. Yea. now I look back.. oh my goodness. because I applied what I learned from your site Dave, I am out this day. And trust me. my ex hates me. I could have gone into a full blown episode..and honestly , I am out. I am doing fine. Dave I thank you so so much for the sharing of your experiences. for it helped save this family from many pits of darkness.. when it is applied. It honestly makes a huge difference.

Hi Dave,
I am dealing with bipolar and borderline personality disorder. I have been in therapy for a few years now but I have some questions for you. I honestly think that the psychologist that I see now has done me more good than any other ever has. In fact, until I seen the one that I am seeing now they did not even have me diagnosed as bipolar even though I thought that my be the problem several years ago. How do I control my lashing out? Like screaming at my husband for the same things over and over. I do not want to do this but I do not even realize that I am doing it until I have just nagged him to death. I tried to commit suicide a few years ago and that has caused my memory to not be so good so I am always forgetting something. I think that my husband and my oldest son talk behind my back and make fun of me because I am sick. Are these just all symptoms of the bipolar? I would love to hear from you and/or anyone else that can help me. Thank you!

I have noticed that I am spending money like I have no money problems but that is totally wrong. I will give my daughter all the money that she wants when we go shopping and I am always buying her things. She is my only daughter and the youngest child. She has asked me to adopt her so that she does not have to deal with her biological mother (her biological mother has ALOT of issues too…she is always the victim or at least that is what she thinks). I do not know if I am just spoiling my daughter or if it is part of my bipolar. Last weekend we went out town and I spent alot of money instead of paying the bills like I should have. I am noticing that I am getting worse about the money here in the last few weeks. I did not notice that before because I think that I used to save up some money back then but definately not now. I spent $160 for just one night at the motel. I kind of felt like a high when I was getting the room, did not even think about having bills to pay and then I worried myself to death when reality set in. What do you think? I think that most people are like me when it comes to money so I am not sure if this is a part of my bipolar or not. WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE HELP??? I WOULD TAKE ANYONES ADVICE. I KNOW THAT NOONE IS AN ATTORNEY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT BUT THAT IS OK. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM PEOPLE THAT HAVE EITHER WENT THROUGH THIS OR IS A SPOUSE OF A PERSON THAT HAS BIPOLAR. THANK YOU!

Good email. Sorry for your friend. . . but a very good lesson. I have a 19 year old and a 2 year old. Have had BPD for 20+ years been stable for almost 2years. The point about getting the children away from an unstable parent is absolutely on the top of the “DO” list. My 19 year old and I see a therapist together once a month to re-connect and learn to be mother and daughter again while she is learning to forgive what neither of us understand. My 2 year old . . . I thank God every day for these emails and suggestions for stability and let me say this – THEY ARE STARTING TO SHOW GREAT RESULTS!!! Knowledge and Action go hand-n-hand.

I have a plan for my stability, a plan for my instability, and most importantly a plan for Sierra and her safety when I start to slide from one to the other, if ever.

None of this happened over night for sure and I HAVE HAD TO LEARN TO take baby steps w/ just about everything I take on. Some days it even means doing my dishes 10 at a time and walking away for a while until they are done. I get them done eventually and ward off being overwhelmed. Sticking to a routine has been my savior.

Good luck to all of you out there I love to pray for others and I am praying for all of you.

K

I am a 59 year old lady with Bipolar and Borderline Personality disorder. I was first diagnosed in 2001. Since then I have gone through a regime of different medications until we found 3 that controlled both disorders, that was in 2003. Maybe controlled is the wrong word, I control my disorders with the skills I learned in a group called DBT. I just wanted to let you know that I read your material anyway, cause some of it might help. Keep up the good work, I applaud you for your diligence in helping people. There aren’t many out there like you.

This is so messed up.
All because of his sick no good wife.
He should have took the kids and left that bitch.
And your blaming him????
Your nuts too

June B~Why are you so harsh/angry .There has to be a reason.
I haven’t read any comments blamming the father.
Everyone is very open here if you are going to continue to use such harsh accusations and judgments should you not open up as well?

Tonya

As a 43 year old child of a mother with bi-polar who survived the craziness barely with my head screwed on as well as my 3 brothers. I have one thing to say. PLEASE PLEASE do what is necessary to help those children!!!! My mother has been bi-polar since she was 15. as far as I can gather. She has only been dignosed in the last 20yrs or so and has taken medicine for very very short periods. Otherwise she was majority of the time manic. My father and mother divorced when I was young about 9 and we eventually moved to Denver when I was 12 before that though she had already left us when I was 7.when she did come to visit there was always a ugly scene usually mom being out of control. Screamimg for hours straight, beatings, being woke at weird hours all night to sit on the couch praying it would end soon and with out being beaten. I have scars from those beatings. We sat very still because you didn’t draw her attention. She was making no sense at all. Even at that young age I knew something wasn’t right. My dad was beaten down and didn’t try to stop her any longer. He did the best he could to protect us but the beatings were worse when he did. When she came home to tell my dad she was leaving and taking us with her I begged my dad to let me stay with him. but he said someone has to take care of the boys and keep an eye on them. I knew then my life was going to change forever. I didn’t know the extent that that thought would lead to. But I knew even at 9 that my fairly safe life was over. I took over the role as mother(for everyone) and cook.One year before we moved to Denver we were living in St. Louis and we moved 7 times. When we moved to denver there was no protection and we were left alone to fend for ourselves. Except when she came home and her delusion and manic depression caused her to terorize us at all hours. We tried staying out of house or out of sight. She also drank alot,was promiscuise. Some times had dangerous people in our house she slept with.Or disappearing for days on end. She lost lots of jobs over the years. Sometimes she managed a year or better at one.Oh I could tell you all kinds of things. I tried through my teenage years to get her help but some how it turned around that I was just an angry teenager. I wasn’t I was scared and alone with 3 little brothers to take care of. She was very good at appearing normal when she needed to. she could hold her illness in check for short periods. but I knew and was scared she would suddenly attack. We kept as quite as possible we only went to friends homes never bringing them to ours so the authorities didn’t find out what was going on. We had to hide her illness so we didn’t get split up. She was the one who was sick and we as children were left to deal and cleaning up the adult messes her illness caused. She eventually got help but only after my brother who was very ill with M.S. and bed ridden was living with her and she hit him so hard that if he hadn’t been tied into his wheel chair he would had fallen out. Some people nearby reported it to authorities at the hospital they were at. she was arrested charged and made to get help and med’s and she lost her job that she had worked so hard at school to get, her family, she was put on probation for 4 yrs. She is my loving mother right now that I remember when she wasn’t being manic. Her life had to fall apart and made to by court order to stay on med’s for the duration of her probation. What happens after though. I live in fear of that. Right now I’m enjoying my mother. She once after a manic episode said to me my illness only affects me not you. Oh if you only new what I’ve been through mother from OUR illness. Please realize that this is only a very small part of my story. But as for the helpless children of bi-polar parents. Please fight for them to have a normal life. They maybe afriad to tell anyone how really bad it is. They shouldn’t have to be afriad, because you are afriad to stand up to the bi polar person or what people will think. I and my brothers were luck and made it through without to much damage. Not everyone will if you as an adult don’t help and defend them its your job!

I completely agree with this last article, and I wish I could have done more to help this very special woman, that I fell so deeply in love with. Ive known her for over 27 years. 9 months ago we became involved. Now to date…. we are just hanging on to straws. At least 3 days a week Im told, “we are no more” get out! I live one day at a time now, and keep a bag packed for those episodes. I sometimes feel like a puppet on a string. I had no idea what exactly bipolar meant. Yes, I love her deeply still to this very moment, but I realized nomatter what Id say or do to show her love and affection, and be understanding to her mood swings on a very regular basis, I found myself on a roller coaster ride with her of unstable emotional problems and have personally been not only verbally abused but also mentally lost and frustrated!!! I could go on and on. I do forward Daves emails to her… I pray, she will get help… for her and her two wonderful children, that are also effected by this. I wont EVER give up on her. But I know now, with the insights of her bipolar disorder, I needed help understanding and the knowledge to be able to help her…. One day, I pray to GOD, We will be together again…! Until then, I will be there when she excepts me… if her disorder permits…. its so sad… I know I wont be “ANOTHER” man to just quit. Thanks Dave, and I will pray for your mother…. and for god sakes, will you pls be done with your moving soon….. lol

Thank you Tonya, that was nice to hear! K

not working right now but am interested in your course. Ad and adhd and some of those afflictions seem to be more prevalent than people want to admit and even the proffesional comunity are ignoring it too. It makes me angry because the innocent are paying for the professional people’s vast and delliberate stupidity.

I also want to say I have a grandson at home with these symptoms and are new at trying to get him help (have tried for 3 years) had a psychiatrist who just asks him “how are you?” and gives him a prescription and isn’t even taking medicare now. I also have a grandson in prison who I believe is AD and was railroaded at 18 after they held him in juvenile for 2 years so they could burn him really good. I would estimate a guess that about 20% or more in the prisons are in that catigory. Shame on America. They help everyone everywhere except americans. Shame!

David-When my husband first started getting your emails I thought both of you were crazy-what help could either of you offer me(he is a truck driver and gone over 90%of the time)but I faithfully printed out each email and saved them for him, and I caught myself reading them as they printed. Well to make a long story short, I don’t know if they have helped him as a caregiver but they have given me someone who understands a lot of what I am going thru and there are times I really need to know I’m not alone-Thank you-Jim’s wife

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Dear Dave, I have been faithfully reading your emails
every day and I thank you very much!! My loved one is our son. He’s struggled for years. Diagnosed with
ADHD at about 14 had a devasting event occur at about 16 and diagnosed with bi-polar at about 28.
He was married with 2 sons. His father and I have
spent thousands of dollars on phyciatrists phycoloigists MD’s medication and and finally lawyers. We fought hard to have to court give him his med’s while incarcerated. He has quit taking them.
He will not accept visitors or answer mail.
At first he did very well but has lost all hope.
What can we do?? We have been living this way
since he was quite young (he is now 31) We are
heartbroken. Thanks again Dave.
traveler4sc

Hi Dave,
I would like to get your plan for child custody. I have your courses, but I do not see the information on child custody you wrote about. I am working on a plan also which includes audio recording of episodes and nanny cams to obtain evidence of behaviors my fiancee has. In addition, I am keeping a log of his “moods”. Please let us (your readers) know what we need to do to protect our children. I believe my fiancee is bipolar, but he refuses to get any treatment what so ever. I care about him deeply, but I am afraid of his episodes now. He has said he will fight for custody and he is very cunning and convincing to others that he is the ideal image of perfection in every way and that I am the one who is unstable. Therefore, I am gathering the audio and video of his outbursts. It is not a simple case of just leaving, because the episodes won’t just go away if I leave with the children. We will still be affected by him, so I have to ensure to stop him by going to the proper authorities (my attorney, the police if necessary) with adequate evidence, not just a story of my feeling what is wrong with him. Please let me know what the child custody plan is that you have outlined, I will be more than happy to obtain additional material to get it. Thanks so much for all you do.