Hi,
How’s it going? Hope you are doing well. Well
I am almost moved in to my new place. Seems like
it’s taken months but it’s only been about three
weeks. For all those that ask why the heck
it’s taken me three weeks to move, it’s
because a) I am not good at moving b)
moving is hard and c) I only really moved on
the weekends.
Anyway, with that said, I want to talk
about something really important. I get
tons and tons of complaints about
bipolar disorder and how bad it is. Supporters
say it’s a nightmare. People with it say
it’s the worst thing ever. When I bring
up the good thing about bipolar disorder
people think I am crazy.
Right now, I want you to ask yourself,
“What’s good about bipolar disorder?”
Think of something right now and then
I will tell you my answer.
Think of something and then scroll down
KEEP SCROLLING
Did you think of something?
SCROLL DOWN..
Okay here is the good thing about bipolar
disorder that many people forget. It’s manageable
and it’s not fatal like many diseases. For example,
let’s look at my old accountant. One day he had a cough.
That was on a Friday. He went into the hospital.
We had a Monday meeting. He didn’t show up. Actually
I never saw him ever again. He went into the hospital
and died of cancer.
Another story. A friend of mine. Father goes into
the hospital. Has cancer. Dies with a few months.
Mother now has cancer. They say there is nothing
they can do. It’s really sad.
As hard as bipolar disorder is, remember people
can have normal lives if they manage it correctly
and follow a system. There are lots of people who
follow a system and have a great life. Bipolar
Disorder is NOT fatal. People can die from
Suicide but that’s because they don’t follow
a good system.
Think of cancer. Some die no matter what they
do. It’s really unfair with cancer and other illnesses
but with bipolar there are many things that can
be done. I have found time and time again the people
who struggle do not understand the bipolar stability
equation that I have spoken about many times.
The bottom line is, I wanted to remind you
that although bipolar disorder can be a nightmare,
it can be managed. There is no cure. BUT, people
can have a totally normal life with it. I see
this with my mom and the many people who work
for me now with bipolar disorder.
I noticed in all my success interviews in my
various courses I have, people always remember
that bipolar disorder can be managed. That
gives people hope. It must be tough to deal
with illnesses where there is no cure, no
management and no real hope. That’s is NOT
Bipolar Disorder.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
When you are annoyed about bipolar disorder
whether you have it or your loved one has
it, always remember this important point.
There are other good things that illness
brings like: intelligence, creativity,
etc.
Well I have to run. Have a great day.
POST RESPONSES TO THIS EMAIL HERE
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
Daughter-in-law has Bpolar,can,t visit anymore,my son and new grandson live out of town. She refuses to believe she has Bpolar and stopped taking meds. I can,t be abused anymore. She calls me names,is nastry and I am very uncomfortable in my sons new home. I am not going there anymore. I have no solution,any suggestions. Misds my new grandson and my son
why is it that, peoplelike myself, who want your course, can’t afford it and, i wonder why it is offered to people like me. isn’t that ironic??
This for Lex/zi: When I was first diagnosed and had a most terrible episode, my family sttod a very far distance from me. It took a long time for them to see that my getting help was changing me. I sought out counselling, got good doctor who worked with me on my meds, went to several great groups that taught me skills to manage my illness. After a period of five years, I now have a family that will talk to me and do things with me. The family that stepped away were my brothers. My children were happy when diagnosed, they thought their mother was just “crazy”. Now they know what the reason was. So, just learn to manage your illness, in time (I know that is a hard statement to believe) and with patience, they will come around. Good luck, Barbi
I am in the middle of moving,I have no doctor or therapist,but my husband & I manage pretty well with my B.P.We live on his disability.The reason I am writing this is My mother fell & broke her back & hip,when they fixed that they found cancer.Please try not to be so insensitive,I know you have alot going on but others have feelings too!Thank you for all you are doing & the many people you are helping!May the Lord shine his light on you every day! Lori
Dave, thanks for the reminder and one for us to remind our bipolar loved one when they’re struggling.
Lex/zi… repeat: It is not ok to abuse me. It is not ok to abuse me. Send cards. Make quick phone calls. Keep the communication open and when the sane window opens.. and it really will, quietly let your daughter-in-law know you really love this side of her and so wish she’d consult with someone on the highs and lows that seem to make life difficult. Keep it simple. Keep it non-judgmental. DO NOT NOT NOT talk about what her behavior costs YOU. Focus on how hard it seems to make HER life. Focus on how you’ve seen your grandson cringe when she’s “over-energized”. Let them both know you love them.
Good morning all. Looking at the upside to BPD was a great way to start my morning. Its grey and raining here in Minnesota.
I have a friend whose adult son is schizophrenic and goes on and off his meds every 3 months like clockwork. Which for her means he is off galavanting somewhere in the USA in a psychotic state every three months which sends her briefly calm world spiraling. I have another friend who at 23 just underwent a hysterectomy due to cervical cancer and now cannot bare children of her own, in fact she hardly came out of it with her life.
I was diagnosed w/BPD 2 years ago – finally!!!! I have had it at least 20 years. It was hard for me to come out of the “poor me” cloud long enough to do anything about my condition. Once I did that, very slowly I was able to make changes. Nothing and I mean nothing was going to change my circumstances however until I first changed the way I VIEWED BPD. If what we THINK dictates how we FEEL, and how we FEEL dictates what we DO, then I imagine we all have a tremendous amount of ability to change the direction of our lives simply by learning to recognize our thoughts and what exactly those thoughts are dictating. Believe me I have lived through nightmare after nightmare, believing all the while that there was no hope. And until I was educated some, there wasn’t any hope. Now, I am educated, I pay attention to my thoughts, my beliefs, and my feelings daily, and best of all I take much better care of myself than I ever have before. I have HOPE.
BPD is not a “spectator sport”. It doesn’t just run its course while you wait it out, and there is no shot or pill that magically fixes the problem. I have to wake up every morning w/ the mindset that “I am going to take care of myself today” – every day. So far so good, but I also am realistic in my thinking to know that my stability could change at anytime, and to be prepared for it.
Quit honestly I don’t know if I would take this good of care of myself if I didn’t have BPD. Sad but true. I was always sort of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants sort of girl until recently. Lots to say today. Take care all.
k
Great advise angelbets! Great advise for lex/zi, I second it.
K
My name is Rob and I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Although I do have regular treatment for it, I still have minor episodes. I have found that if you direct it correctly, a manic episode can be rather productive as I tend to find multitasking a whole lot easier than those around me do. I have definitely found that to be a good thing about bipolar disorder.
I agree with your premise that Bipolar is “treatable” and if treatment is followed correctly, the Bipolar person can live a long & normal life. However, there are some possible dangers for even those who have been under a Doctor’s care, and who have been fathful to take their prescription medicine (such as Lithium) should know about.
I had a Sister who had been diagnosed as Bipolar and had faithfully taken the Lithium the Doctor had prescribed, had been taking it for nearly 15 years, when she suddenly developed a big problem with her kidneys. They became overly saturated with the lithium, which resulted in both of them almost totally “shutting down” (at one point estimated as 90% shut down). She died a few days later. Before she died, of course they took her off the lithium and attempted to save her, tried to get her kidneys to keep working, but it was too late. After they discovered this, and 2 or 3 Doctors tried to save her, she eventually died after her heart gave outafter she had a massive brain stem stroke. My family and I could only attribute all this to one of 2 things: 1.) the GP Dr., who had had her on the Lithium, failed to test her often enough to make sure her levels of Lithium were OK, or, 2.) my Sister failed to keep up with how much Lithium she was taking (she lived alone at age 66, and could have possibly been forgetful enough days as to how many Lithium pills she had taken each day. If she had been doubling her dosage too often, for too long a time, that could also have resulted in her kidneys becoming saturated. The bottom line though is that Bipolar RX should be monitored closely thru blood tests, perhaps at least 2 times a year. And also, someone, such as a friend or family member should audit the bipolar person’s intake of their Bipolar medicine to make sure they are taking their correct daily dosage.
I have a question about Bipolar disorder: is it hereditary? Can a son or daughter (let’s say) easily inherate it from their parent? Also, could a Grandchild inherate it from their Grandparent without their parent also getting it? I suppose, if Bipolar is inheritable, maybe anyone down the bloodline can also end up with it, right?
My husband has bipolar. We found out over 3 years ago. He now says that he broder line bipolar. My problems that when we are having problems he turns to people who do not like me and they speak very negitive about. And because of this he called a criss line with the county where we live and lied about me. He works with the cunty csp program here which does not do shit for him, his meds are not working and I can not get to see another doc. but the problem is the county will do what ever he wants. The day after he called to csp criss line they put him in a group home, that was a monday and wed of that week they had apt. app. for him to fill out. He was in a group home for a month then moved into his own apt. Now one minutes he says he wants to work on the marrage then the next minute I find out he is on sigles web site looking for woman that he says he just wants to talk to. For friend ship the only friends he has are women. Is this put of bipolar and if it is what can I do?
My Fiance’ has bipolar disorder. I too suffer from depression and anxiety issues. We both are being treated and sometimes it seems like it just isn’t working. Any questions I have for her I only get answers that are part yes and part no. I accept these responses and realize that this is a real and very good response. It’s difficult though at times because I support her to the highest and even if recovery does not occur, I will never leave her side. We both love “The Notebook” and quite often she calls me her Noah. I just hope that the sadness I feel for her is well hidden and that she truly knows how much I love her and cannot recover without her by my side. Is this bad for us to both to be going through these times together? Please someone tell me it can be done. She needs me just as much as I need her. Lyn (leidback)
Robert–
And others.. I actually am a master’s level therapist with some knowledge on a clinical level with depression and BPD. I’m just clueless when it comes to helping my own child (said with just the tiniest bit of humor).
My understanding is that while there can be a hereditary element.. i don’t know the specific stats, but when my daughter was diagnosed, they asked us several times if anyone else had a mental illness. To my knowledge there is no one who has any form of mental illness either on my side or her dad’s. However, she began using marijauna in high school; has experiemented with just about anything and everything.. which is not uncommon among depressed or BPD people. I don’t judge.. i truly think they try it and get relief and adopt that as a coping mechanism. I am also personally quite sure MJ used regularly does brain damage and/or can trigger what may be cyclothymic or lower ups and downs. I say this from work i did in the alcohol and drug treatment world.
If you’re asking about having a child once diagnosed, please talk with a psychiatrist or physician or researcher with some knowledge. I think the bigger concern is how to medicate SAFELY to get through pregnancy without doing harm to the developing child.
As our friend Dave says, I am NOT a doctor or lawyer; however I do have some experience both professionally and as the mom of a 29 yr old daughter diagnosed 6 months ago who is so incredibly sick with this disease, it’s hard not to worry 24/7.
I try to share what i know in hopes of helping others. And listen to my own advice on self care. Our loved ones need us so very much, we have to be sure we stay healthy and are here for them
Karils– thank you so much for your comments.. i can’t begin to tell you how much they helped me today.
dear dave ,i am aware of treatable and untreatable diseases. i am HIV+ have been on meds for 12yrs.so i understand the importance3 of correct treatment plans. my bipolar friend is aware of his disorder but i think he does’nt grasp the fact that the meds is whats keeping him well and normal .i too went thru a period of stop and go on my meds ,but i had to come to grips with the reality that to live healthy i had to take my pills .i want to be able to give RUDY this info in ways he can understand maybe some input from other supporters living with this can help me put it in the right words ?i need help in BERMUDA______ingie
Dave Thanks so much for the reminder Good thing can come from this ilness such as creativity. I am going to use this energy and create something pretty. Much Thanks Sue
Dave! Thanks for reminding us that there IS some good from having BPD. Honestly, I thoroughly enjoy BEING manic (racing thoughts, euphoria, confidence at the max), but also realize it is NOT healthy. My most spiritual experiences occur during mania, and I wouldn’t have traded them for anything. However, really BAD things happen when I’m manic, so that is NOT the good part. When the bad things happen, it is time for me to “check in” and be taken care of.
Meds help, as do your strategies to continue to stay on top of the disorder. Sleep is VERY important, but I find that I can function MUCH better on little sleep. However, I DO make up for it the next day. I don’t sleep 1-2 hours a night EVERY day; only when I have things that need to be done the next day.
I always thought BPD was genetic. Being adopted, I had no way of knowing what my heritage was. However, I finally located my biological mother (we have a super relationship!), and found out that my maternal grandfather was a paranoid schizophrenic. It DOES skip a generation, and not all descendants get it. My two natural brothers and sister do NOT exhibit any characteristics of mental illness, unless you consider alcoholism to be a psychiatric problem. Anyhow, finding out that it’s possibly genetic made me realize that it wasn’t ENTIRELY my FAULT that I was bipolar…
Again, some of our most creative and intelligent people in history were bipolar – Winston Churchill (with his “dark dogs”), Abraham Lincoln, Judy Garland, Annette Funicello, and the list goes on. At times, I enjoy a little bit of hypomania, because my creative juices are free to explore. But I AM maintained on meds and therapy.
Yes, BPD is NOT fatal, and cannot be CURED, but it IS a very INTERESTING disorder. BTW, I don’t know how different my life would have been had I not BEEN bipolar; as a matter of fact, I don’t remember when I wasn’t bipolar, before the diagnosis. I can’t remember being “normal,” but I live my life as if I were…
Lex/zi, i feel for you I have been receiving verbal abuse from my recently diagnosed husband. He has also moved out of the house. He continues to talk so nasty about my son and not only talks about him to whomever, but is threatening to kill him. I filed a restraining order but to no avail. I guess I have to ignore his phone calls until he can get some serious treatment.
Thanks for the information it is very educational and intresting keep up the good work.
shar my husband was diagnosed with bp in June 2007 and it has been a living HELL, he verbally abuses my son along with threats. He has moved out of the house and has told my brother-in-law and sister he will be divorcing me. He hasnt talked to me about divorce. I dont asked him where he is living and what he is doing but he has gone back twice to visit his parents, He has reservation again in Aug and Nov. his parents dont know what’s going on because they are sick too (heart and dementia) When my mother-in-law finds out we are separated she will be very sad. I feel it’s his duty to tell her. Good Luck, this is very hard and I hate what going on.
Dear Dave,
I have been on your mailing list for about 2 years now and I have been faithfully reading your helpful information. I have long suspected that my wife of seven years has a mental disorder but I could not define what it was until I begin reading your information. My wife refuses to admit that she has a problem. Maybe she doesn’t even know that she is Bipolar. Dave, I have suffered in silence for a long time now and we have beautiful children 2 and 4 yrs. and I also experiencing the instability and uncontrollable behavior of my wife and their mother.
I really appreciated the story you explained about your friend in TEXAS who did not take your advice to help his wife and now he is in serious trouble.
Your friend’s story is identical to my but the only different is that my wife has not been diagnosed with bipolar.
These are some of the things she does at home;
-She is suspicious of me and others
-She hits me with objects
-She accuses me of persecuting her because of her religious life.
-She says my family doesn’t like
-She says that people in our church don’t like her and our pastor is always preaching about her
-She says our children are disrespecting her.
-She says I wonderful husband today and tomorrow she say that I am satan and I am a bad person.
-One day she wants to stay marry and the next day wants a divorce.
-Many times she kneels down to our sofer and prays without any clothes on.
-She spends money wastefully.
-She came into the marriage with more than $40,000.00 in credit card debt and personal loans. We tried to pay this debt off but she is now back into new debts.
-She goes into a fit of rage all the time.
-She really doesn’t show this behavior to people out the home at first until they get closer to her.
She is a nice person to others outside her home. She is always happy and laughing at everything when she is outside around others.
-She walks away from me in the shopping mall and even at family functions and accuses me a disrespecting her before others but she never gives specifics on abuse or disrespect she is talking about.
Dave, a week ago we were at my family reunion and she begin to accuse me and started hitting me with objects in her hands right before my oldest sister. I was so embarrassed the owner of the home we in asked us to leave. We had to drive back home more than 2 hours. While I was driving us (me, my wife and our two kids) back home she continue to insult me and distract me while we were on I 95.
When we arrived back home I put the kids in another car and drove to the commissioner’s office to file restraining order on my wife. I have always tried to avoid taking this step but I felt that something needed to be done at this point or else it will get worse. We had the first hearing on last Tuesday and the restraining order was extended for a week. We have a final hearing this week Tuesday.
Dave, I really missed my wife and the kids missed her too but she really needs some help. She has never been diagnosed with Bipolar but once she was told that there is a tissue growth on her brain and I suggested that we see a doctor about it but she refused. Like I stated before, she has all the symptoms of Bipolar. I don’t think the court will order her to have a test done but they might extend the restraining order and give her custody of our children but I am not sure. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ALL THIS DAVE? I HAVE LESS THEN 2 DAYS BEFORE THE FINAL HEARING. THANKS IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR ADVICE.
Sebast
Your article gave me hope.
My daughter-in-law has bipolar and is mentally slow. Any ideas on how to get her to understand how important treatment is. Her depression is causing her son 6yr old to act out.
ah marcy we are at the same trouble…i cant afford it either but we got some lil free stuff than sometimes works [depend mn who have the illness]
i have bipolar the good thing is than my friends know it and they manage it with me, other good thing in skool some asses think im a psycho so they dont mess with em not even the football players XD, ah but some day i can buy my self the meds…well i cant do anything cause my silly parents are on bancktupt lol…but friends and shrink help XD
I find these comments interesting, sad, comforting, and so human.
Noticing the comments about the highs being actually productive, it’s true…. as long as you know what is dangerous and can keep your head. I know that when I am SOOOOOOO high up there, I don’t drink more that ONE drink…. and I don’t dare hug some of my friends, as I don’t wanna stop. So you see, I can ride it out by dancing and getting so much done, and by keeping myself in check because I know what can happen… from experience.
I am not taking lithium, and am hopeful that the effexor XR I take will some day not even be needed. I try hard to be aware of behaviors which can make or break me, possibly. It’s taken years.
Through cognitive behavioral therapy and practice I’ve gotten to know myself more and since the doc said I don’t need therapy anymore I only take the meds and practice what I learned. Also I am keeping up with self-betterment and realization. That way some day I may not need the meds at all and therefore not have that great kidney/liver failure risk.
Best wishes to all of you here.
Peace,
Cat
Thanks Karlis~
I am going to take care of myself today too!
It’s so realistic to say yes I may have a set back.Do the best we can.Tomorrow is another day and a tomorrow after that.I agree
Starting out the day positive as is so important for yourself and your loved ones….and the cashiers,wiatress,co-workers LOL…True though.
Lets take care of us!(Karis TM)
Tonya
i have bipolar disorder and it sucks sometimes. i have been under control for a long time but i know how to cheat if i want to. i take my meds, go to the therapist, get labs and mostly i comply
before meds my life was decimated with every episode. i miss the mania high but i know its better this way
in return i get creativity. i am artistic and most of the time i am happy and sparkly. not always. when i feel a little down i just hate it. its painful. i like my extra energy and “sparkle”
its def not the worst thing that u could have but it can be deadly. why do i have it? i dont know. my sister has it too but not as bad so i think we got it from our bio dad
anyway i wanted to reply concerning what is good about it. if u can live through it, u are very strong! if your freinds and family can live though it, they are very strong. and probably worn out. u lose alot of friends along the way. i have lost friends, husbands, jobs, money, everything.
i have trouble focusing at work and finally i told my mgr. i was out of my seat alot etc. and not producing. she put me in front of her and no one knows why. i do alot better!
life is strange and everyone gets something. i wouldnt have picked madness but like mick jagger said “u dont always get what u want” so maybe this is what i need. i do know that angels have kept me alive and safe many times during my madness. they are always there to catch me and put me down in a safer place!
well i didnt mean to go on and on. but i have never been open about my bp and it feels good to just speak out
love and mental health!