Hi,
How’s it going? I hope you are doing well.
I have an absolutely incredible bipolar
disorder lesson to share with you and
it’s all based on me taking a shower
in my new place that I moved into.
Here’s the story. Okay I have
been moving for about the time we have
been in Iraq. Just kidding. It’s taken
me several weeks. I’ve had a number
of problems and obstacles but I am almost
all moved in ready to go.
Last week, I noticed that the hot water
did not work at all. It’s impossible
to take a totally cold shower so I had
to get it fixed.
So it’s fixed now. So yesterday I get ready
to take my first shower (NOTE I was still
taking a shower at the first place I lived
so I wasn’t not taking a shower for weeks :))
Okay so I get into the shower. And guess what?
Well I tried to adjust the water just and turned
the knob a little and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! It
was SUPER HOT. I swear it burned my skin off.
I jumped back and almost hit my head and fell
down I almost had to dive out of the shower it
was so hot. I mean SUPER HOT. And the water pressure
was like that of a fire hose. Not that I know what
it feels like to get hit with water from a fire hose
but that’s what I would imagine.
So then I reached with my arm and adjusted a little
bit to turn it colder. Guess what? OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!
It was FREEZING. I mean like ice water. I thought
I was going to have a heart attack. So then I got
out of the shower almost killing myself in the process
because it was wet and I was like jumping out of
the shower for my life.
THERE’S A BIPOLAR LESSON JUST KEEP READING
Okay so then I was like, “What the heck, I just
need to stay OUTSIDE the shower and get the water
right.” I used my hand to test the water and figured
if it burned off my hand or froze it solid, that
was just one limb not my entire body.
I noticed an amazing thing. The slightest dial of
the shower made the water super hot or super cold.
It was odd. But eventually I got it just right. I
have no idea if the thing is right. It seems overly
sensistive if you ask me. I have to call the
guy and ask him.
BUT, here’s the deal. This all made me think of
what my mom’s doctor has told me in the past
and what many of the people in the interviews have
told me. The slighest change in medication can
make all the difference.
Many people think incorrectly that in order to help
themselves or someone with bipolar disorder
get stable you need HUGE giant amounts of bipolar medication
or if a person is not doing well a MAJOR GIGANTIC
change is necessary.
NOTE: I am NOT a doctor, therapist, financial advisor,
insurance agent, professional anything. This is just
based on my own person expereince with my mom and dozens
of people I know and work for me.
BUT everyone reports that slight changes to bipolar medication
can make a huge difference. This means a few things
if you ask me. First you have to get a good doctor
that knows what the heck he/she is doing so the slight change
can be done correctly. You can’t adjust your bipolar medication
or your loved one’s medication yourself. You need to
be working with someone who is trained and qualified.
For some reason the shower really reminded me of this.
My dad is kind of stuck in the thinking that if my
mom isn’t doing well, a huge change is required and
this isn’t the case. If you have bipolar disorder
and you aren’t doing well and don’t want to go to
the doctor because you fear you might have to take
a ton of medication, you might be surprised
with what it will take to get you just right. So
do yourself a favor and head on over to the doctor
and work with him/her to get your medication
just right.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Also I would like to add another point. Bipolar medication
can be tweaked or fine tuned by a qualified doctor BUT
only if the doctor knows there is a problem with the current
medication not working right. Many people with bipolar
disorder or those who are caregivers want the doctors
to be caregivers.
Well I have to take off for the day. I hope my funny
story of me screaming in the shower helps you remember
about bipolar medication.
Have a great day.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
I want to thank you for your shower analogy.
It is also a great metaphor for ANY subtle change triggering a high or low when one has this disease, not just medication.
My son, I think, is bi-polar….. he is definitely something!!!
I am also bi-polar, and yesterday morning I was sooooooo high up there (no with drugs, with my endorphins flooding me) and have found that when this happens even my blood pressure goes up! I have no idea what precipitated it, but I was sailing. So eventually my friend fed me lunch and then I was down to normal… although I was sooooo tired I had to nap most of the rest of the day.
My medication is fine, and usually I am able to get along most “evenly” shall I say. But something happened yesterday, and it was such a subtle something I couldn’t even notice it…. but what an effect!
Now, with my son, He’d be furious to know I was even writing. Although I am working with him to get him health care, since he’s 21 and has none. I am sure he’ll address it more then.
He HAS been to various counseling and anger/behavior management classes and he’s using this cognitive behavioral practice to keep it together.
again,
Thanks! The analogy was right on.
thanks for shower saga.i agree meds very important ,unfortunate that the patient has to go thru testruns before finding the right dosage for them .Rudy is one of the sensittive ones he was on shot first but it made himtoo doped up and not functionable,now hes on night and day pills and has been fine for 4 yrs.til he up and decided he didn’t need the meds no more.that is where i need to work with him,to make him believe that the pills is whats keeping him ‘himsef”.he is a Rasta man and is into herbs and earthly living so he refuses to comprehend that his type of lifestyle can’t make him well.i don’t know if you know about RASTAFARi but they are big on natural products instead of stuff made in an lab.thats what makes my job so hard to convince him about the medications.but please i refuse to give up on him ,if there is a way i will find it
Thank you for the shower story. I too have a shower story. I showered this morning at Motel 6 (not the most upscale place) because my boyfriend, who I think is bipolar kicked me out last night. Scary. It’s been 1 year and half of ups and downs, ups and downs and he blames me for everything. I have a good job, he is currently unemployed. I moved into his house 1 month ago. It’s been challenging. I love him (or did until last night) — this is the 2nd time in a week that he has thrown me out. I’m afraid. I loved this man with all my heart and now I have no idea who he is. He is NOT on medication, nor does he admit there is a problem. On his “normal” days, which lately are rare – he says he needs a job and says its not me. Get him on a manic state and he doesn’t trust me, he throws things, yells and I end up behaving badly yelling back. I don’t know what to do. I need guidance as to how to get help for your loved one.
So right on Dave. Good advice. My Doc has given permision to call him if I am feeling off.He will call after 9 pm, Sat., Sun. Just to make that a tweak of course after a disscusion.
I am really lucky to have such a dedicated Doctor.
WET SUIT DAVE?
Tonya
I started reading about bipolar disorder after I starting dating this guy with. Meanwhile my mom had been trying to convince me for years that she had bpmd. I thought she was just making excuses for her destructive decision making. Now that I have been reading I totally see that my mom also has bpd. Your daily emails and links to other articles and sites has helped me understand both them so much. THANK YOU for sharing so many great strategies and points to consider. I appreciate all you do.
~ Cindy in MI
Thank you for this very important information. And, I thought your story was great!
Dinosmom~ I am sorry you have to go through this.
unfortuntely this is so very common.
I am Bipolar myself and attempted this several times.I was sick of the side effects,weight gain,some of the drugs just took away the real me.My husband tried to reason with me along with my Doctor.I Hit a complete phychcotic state.I was terrified.I ended up in the hospital. Until I was stabilized.
That was the last time I stopped taking my meds. It does take time to find the right ones. It is a fight.
He is a proud Rastifarian.Proud of his beliefs.That is hard to penetrate!
Maybe you or he could start a daily journal that could be helpful when looking back at the harder days!
Like me…It could take him hitting rock bottom to understand. I hope not.
Thinking of you,
Tonya
Dave, that was a very interesting story with the hot/cold water. I am sorry that you got burnt and then froze yourself. Sorry, but I had to laugh at that one. That story does match the hot/cold episodes which people experience with bipolar. I haven’t been on a low for a while, thank goodness. When my brother was killed in a car crash almost 5 years ago, I was crazy with anger and very low -he was killed by a drunk driver. I am one of those people who is determined to fight a cause. You could say I am an activist. Needless to say, all my energy went into fighting for my brother and seeing the dd go to jail. She didn’t spend one day in jail, nor did she even get a dui. Duh??? I don’t know if it is where I am bipolar or not, but I go full force into what I believe is right or wrong. My son, who is bipolar, saw me in my manic stages and that was not good for him. I do believe that sometimes I make my son worse, when I am on a high manic. I try to calm myself done and make sure I take all of my medication. I find that keeping myself busy, and my son also, helps my mind stay on an even keel. It is not good to fixate on one situation, and I do know that. So, my son and I do things together and it helps him to.
You might want to stay out of the shower Dave!
David,
Thanks for the funny incident. I am sure you were not laughing at the time. As a bi-polar person I know it is real easy to go to extremes. You are right. A bi-polar person is easily hard to get along with and may never know how they are behaving. I know it is easy to assume that we are almighty and on top of things. Not good! I have learned to let my MD help me with the meds. Sometimes it is a matter of timing. If you take your medicine is in the morning and there are changes going on, ask your doctor what could happen if you take it later in the day or evening? That is it!
But never ever stop wihout your physicians assistance.That could be disasteraous. I know i tried and my md was bside himself to help me looking at alternative meds. See, he knew something I was afraid to admit and he was very cautious about how he presented this information to me. It worked! ever grateful for the time to you
take to stay on top of this. The world needs your help and I am glad you are here David.
Robin
Dear friend David. You are a hoot!! Sorry, but I was laughing and smiling at you fighting the shower nozzle! WHY?? Because it’s happened to me in hotels!!! Love, Nan
Hi David!!! First of all let me tell you that I really love your daily e-mail!!! It has helped me out a bunch and I’ve learned a lot!!!
I’d love to live in New Jersey, or wherever you live just to make sure you are one of my best friends!!! 😉
I’m a supporter (or try to be one at least) I met my husband almost 2 years ago, he has bipolar disorder -maniac-depressive / rapid or ultra rapid cycle-.
We’ve got married on February this year and now we’ve been separated for 1 month… Dave, I didn’t married to get separated.. He takes lithium, 5 pills a day. I do love him, and his medication is doing ok, he went into a mini episode (just before we got separated) but he’s stable on bipolar things now… We were both going to a great therapist due to his behavior, now, I’m going on my own… He’s not going anymore..
I’ve told him many times, I can handle and deal and cope with bipolar, but with spoiled (in a bad way), tantrum / brat behavior, I cannot.. I mean.. He has bipolar, but he’s also spoiled and brat, and VERY agressive lately.. It’s a really dangerous combination, that’s exactly why we are not together now… and that was also the basic reason that we were going to therapy together… He has changed, but he hasn’t changed as much as he needs.. Bipolar doesn’t exempts people to do and/or say whatever they want, hurting people, specially those who really want them to be ok… They (bipolars) can make a difference between spoil behavior and a bipolar crisis/episode, HE can do that, he perfectly knows when it is bipolar, and when it is just a brat reaction, as he has told me, when he beat/struck to me, it was merly a tantrum coming from an agressor… That’s why he left 1 month ago…
I think that most of the problems can be handle if just people / supporters / family members understand that they (people with a mental illness) should learn limits since they are just kids, or whenever they’ve been dignosed… Most of them, don’t do this because “poor he/she has bipolar, he/she doesn’t know…” Which is NOT true… They can notice it, they are always “conscious” of everything they do and say… And ANYTHING give ’em the right to hurt so deeply..
It’s really weird, he’s rapid cyle, but this doesn’t have anything to do with his behavior.. I’ve been thinking that he could have a combination of mental problems.. It is supposed that bipolar disorder is “detected” by an MRA or a test like this… In his particular case, this tests hasn’t shown anything… But he has been diagnosed a long time ago anyway…
I know you aren’t a doctor, lawyer, financial advisor, nor anything like that, but I need your expertise helping me find any idea of where should I look, study and learn about… I mean, he has bipolar, and as far as I could have learned, study and analyzed by myself, most of this illnesses never come alone.. He actually has AD (attention deficit) also, and I think he could has something else…
It’s really weird, but he loves me a lot and he says that to me, but just 5 minutes later it’s like he hates me.. I’ve told him this, and he says he doesn’t hate me, he says it’s just in my mind… Trust me, he is not in the middle of an episode… But he’s always looking for excuses, and other “guilty” people instead of HE been responsible for what he does or says… He always start a project or job or study or something, and he simply cannot finish it, it will never reach his goals and expectations… I mean, he quit jobs, College, and now our marriage… I don’t know what to think or don’t even know what/how to feel… He has hurt me a lot, and deeply… But I really want him to be ok and to be happy, and it looks like not even God can helped him so far… My personal e-mail is mrbonillacr2@yahoo.com
He was about to run a family business, but, due to 1 of his tantrums on his brother’s birthday last week, his parents said “no”…
So now, he is been visited by his kids, they don’t live with him. They live in the US with their mother, but they are here in Costa Rica just visiting. He is now living with his parents (due to his kids visit) but once they leave, he also needs to leave his parents place, he has no job, and has his “best friend” who is a k9 police officer and has guns and all that stuff at his place.. He actually gave him (he gave to my husband) a knife for his last birthday. He says it is just a blade, but I can tell it’s not… it actually looks like one of those that thieves use in their robberies… So, what a friend uh…
Anyway, when his kids go back to US, I know he (my husband) will doesn’t have any job, money nor anything like that.. I know he will want to come back later on with me, feeling so lonely, but unless he demonstrate a real change, and unless he gets back into a therapy, I’m not going to put myself in risk… But I really want him to be ok, and happy!!! I’m worry about it, and I know that ain’t my responsibility… But I do love him so much… As I said before, I can deal with bipolar, but sometimes it seems like if he has other personality, and I’m not sure if I can cope with both things… Please let me find an answer, I need to look forward.. I’ve thought he was missdiagnosed, but not sure, since I’m not a doctor, lawyer, financial advisor nor anything like that either… LOL…
No, I’m serious… Please help me find a guidance, or a hint on what to look for… What should I ask for, in order to help him!!!
Thanks a lot in advance…
P.S. I haven’t bought your material yet (due to $ and bounderies reasons), but I always read what you have to say, and try to investigate all I can by myself also…
Jodiebea(Harriet)
David it was a wonderfull article
that you wrote today.I shared a experience with you.A hot shower is so scarey,and a cold shower is
about the same.I enjoy your articles on Biopolar Disease.I was just diagnosed with Biopolar,I have spent many years suffering with the disease.My life would be going well,and then I would go into
deep depression,So many different kinds of medicine,I knew from a young agethat i was different,my depression was so deep,and I was very unhappy,
I am following my Doctor advice,and know if a eposide arises,I can call at any time and I will have help.
Continue with your wonderfull work.
Sincerly.
Harriet(Marietta Georgia)
Thanks Dave,
Great story that you shared. I enjoyed it.
Thanks once again.
Mossie
i liked the shower story..but I am living life without meds.
I use the power of positive thinking and know my triggers and weak moments and can feel them coming, so I turn them into positive things and surround myself with them
I am a single mom of two, one is specials needs, and we are doing fine, and rising from the ashes that my X put us into.
I am a strong woman and have had some pretty terrible things happen to me from the time I was born.
I do not have the maic episodes like alot of the people I know and my depressive states do not last as long either.
I am not in denial and have accepted having bp as a part of me, and was wondering if others do the same…I even use it to my advantage.
I turn bad things into good things, look at them and turn them insideout to make it work for me
I use anger and frustration as motivation, I force myslef to do the things I have to, and alot of times it doesn’t take all that much.
I belong to an on-line support
group and alot of my cyber friends turn to me for advice…I am a strong woman and know how to make others feel good about themselves.
I was wondering if there is anyone else like me??
Hi David!Thank you for this very important information. And, I thought your story was great!