=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <=
Hi,
How’s it going?
I hope you are doing really well
and have a great day.
I have a super important strategy
for those who are bipolar supporters.
Read on for the story.
Yesterday I thought my mind was
going to explode.
I have a friend, who contacted
me yesterday who has a brother
who has bipolar disorder*.
His brother has had so many
problems with bipolar over the
years it’s sad. Drugs, alcohol,
sleeping around, getting married,
getting divorced, etc.
So I was talking to my friend
and first he started saying how
his brother has not been on medication
for a few months and is doing okay.
I was like, “that will NOT last
period. He will wind up going into
a bipolar episode, I guarantee
it. I reminded how many times
we have been that the ‘my brother
isn’t on medication road and is
doing great.'”
He started arguing with me. My friend
was really on edge and talking
kind of fast.
So then I changed subjects to
talk about my friend.
I said, “so how’s it going?”
He said, he was just back to
work after not being there for
weeks.
I was like, “what happen?”
Then he said a long story
about how he was sick and was
being attacked by a whole bunch
of people who were out to destroy
him.
He went on and on and talked about
this global almost conspiracy.
I kept saying, “huh? that doesn’t make
sense?” I would ask questions and
my friend would just talk way louder
and not making any sense. According
to him “these people” tried to destroy
him and that made him sick and depressed.
I was soooooooooo confused. But at this
point my mind felt like it was starting
to explode.
Yesterday I dealt with so many different
things including taxes, international stuff,
shipping issues, customer service training,
hiring people, on and on and on.
So then I told my friend to just get another
job and stay away from “THEM.” I didn’t
even understand who “THEY” were anyway
but I was like, “what the heck, just stay
away and get another job. Problem solved.”
My friend then started yelling at me
for nothing really and then kind of yelling
about this huge group that was out to get
him.
So then I changed the subject but he would
not change the subject. Finally I figured
if we started talking about his brother
he would change.
So then he said, “yea, he’s not taking
medication and doing great. There’s no
such thing as bipolar disorder.”
====>>>>>>IMPORTANT NOTICE<===========
There is such thing as bipolar disorder.
I am NOT a doctor, therapist, lawyer and
not offering any medication or legal advice.
I was like “holy, cow, wow my head is
really starting to hurt.”
For 5 minutes I heard how there is no
such thing as mental illness or bipolar
disorder. It’s because “some humans
are wronged so much by others that
it causes them to have a breakdown.
Mental illness is the result of society
destroying people.”
I was like, “NO! Mental illness is real
and to stay it’s not is a lie and also
minimizes something that’s really serious.”
My friend went on and on and on and on.
Finally my friend said that medication is
not the solution and it’s about “affirmations”
and “going to a place where there are good
people.”
IMPORTANT NOTICE
I know you guys hate when I keep saying
the same thing but I just want it to be
clear and someone doesn’t read this
and think it’s medical advice.
I am NOT a doctor, therapist, lawyer and
not offering any medication or legal advice.
At this point, I seriously thought I was
going in insane.
I changed the subject but my friend
then said, how he “doesn’t even
take his medication any more.”
I was like, “huh????”
What medication, “the medication that
the doctor gave me.”
My friend then explained how he simply
says he takes it and has some kind of
scheme that makes it seem like he is
taking it.
My friend says the medication was
for depression and anxiety.
I listened and then I thought of
something.
Look at this:
-My friend has had so many relationships
that don’t last it’s amazing. Tons.
-My friend has lost virtually all his
friends.
-My friend has gotten into many fights
with his friends.
-My friend has told me about multiple
conspiracies against him. Some so strange
that I was amazed.
-My friend has been talking really, really
fast for weeks.
-My friend sometimes says stuff that doesn’t
make any sense at all.
-My friend is super smart and creative.
-My friend’s family has a history of
addictions and my friend has had addition
problems
-My friend has made numerous threats against
people and gotten in trouble.
-My friend projects his own behavior onto
others. Meaning, he says people are attacking
him when he is the one that is attacking them.
So I ask my friend, what do they say that
you have?
Guess what he said to me. Scroll down for
the answer….
GUESS. And then scroll….
B I P O L A R D I S O R D E R 2
I was totally shocked. My friend said
it wasn’t true. He didn’t have a mental
illness and it was “society that wronged
him.”
He then said some nonsense about how
society wrongs people and that the kind
people suffer at the hands of a small
group of evil people. The evil people
medicate the kind people.
I made NO SENSE AT ALL.
My head hurt so much that I thought
my mind was going to explode.
My friend then went on a tirade.
In my head, I decided that my troops
or my bipolar supporter army was not
equipped to fight this battle and we
had to retreat.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I said,
“Hey, what time is it?” My friend said “almost
9:00pm.” I said, “Geeze, I have to call my
mom before she goes to sleep, I have to go.”
I hung up.
I sat in my chair amazed. It all came together
why my friend’s life is a nightmare. It appears
that he has bipolar and has been in total
denial for years. It all made sense now.
It was the strangest thing that his brother
has bipolar disorder and wasn’t doing all
that well but then admitted it. But my friend
doesn’t admit it and projects his own
behavior onto others.
His life is falling apart and he doesn’t
even know it. It’s really sad.
In my courses/systems below I talk about
how to get a loved one into treatment
if he/she doesn’t want to go.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
All the
ways I have come up with. And if you have
bipolar disorder and you don’t feel good
about bipolar disorder, I talk about
all the benefits of going into treatment
and so do all the success stories I have
in my course. If you feel bad about your
bipolar disorder get my information.
The one technique that I used was the
“conversation changer.” Which is,
you change or redirect the conversation
to somewhere else when you are talking
to someone who is not doing well with
bipolar disorder.
Finally when things go totally wrong,
you have a conversation ender. “I have
to call my mom was my conversation ender.”
Also, you can’t argue against madness.
I argued a little until I figured out
my friend has bipolar disorder probably
and it would be an argument against
madness.
When you are a bipolar supporter, you
need to have these conversation changers
and conversation enders ready at ALL
times.
Finally, if you have bipolar disorder,
heed this WARNING. Get into treatment.
Take your medications. Do not game
the system.
My friend is destroying his life and
those around him. He is doing horrible
and doesn’t even realize because he
is slowly slipping out of his right
mind. If you have bipolar disorder,
don’t let this happen to you.
I have to go to the gym.
What do you think of this story?
Catch you tomorrow.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Want your own copy of these daily bipolar
emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3
P.P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
P.P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
*I changed a little of this to protect the privacy
of my friend. I hope you understand. The story
is 100% real however.
I, too, “suffered” for many, many years with Bipolar II. I can remember having symptoms of this without recognizing them. I would have rapid thoughts … rapid speech … inability to focus from thinking I had all these things that needed to get done and trying to do them all at once without thinking a thing about them. I had self abusive behaviors. To me, these times were the good times as I had lots of energy, cracked jokes, had fun, etc. For years I denied any type of problem until I began being treated for depression. It was in my first outpatient stint that I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I remember being in there a couple of weeks just exhibiting my depressive side until one day, towards the time I was to be released, that I went into the group acting silly, being boisterous, talking swiftly, etc. They then asked me if I was willing to take lithium. I had no problem with that.
My psychiatrist, who was the one who treated me in the hospital, worked with me for years to get just the right combination of medications to keep me stable. I know this is a long time but I suppose my chemical imbalance was a tough one to treat. I was, and still am, very compliant in taking my meds.
During this time I lost my job and was really unable to be productive. I of course blamed it all on my back problems and the pain, but in the back of my mind I think I was awarded SSD because if my bipolar.
While I was getting “tweaked” with the right combination of meds I decided to go to school with a certificate of completion in Office Skills. I knew I could never return to working with children as there were many times I got overly frustrated with them and lash out.
I worked part time easing my way back into the working world. Today I work one full time job and a couple of other “gigs” in my off time. I made much more money before all this bipolar stuff came on, but I try to feel proud of myself for coming off of disability and being productive in the working world.
Perhaps this is not where I should write a synopsis of my experience with bipolar disorder, but when the topic came up with Bipolar II I just felt I could relate…
The description you gave was me for most of the pass 10 years. I went to Doctors and Phychtrist and all they treated me for is depression. I have since retired on disability because I just couldn’t cope with co-workers. I think you missed this man’s point when he said he was being harrassed. He probably was and I didn’t understand you saying he was probably causing it. That’s like saying it’s all right for a man to beat his wife because she asked for it. Harrassment in the workplace is not allowed. Physical injuries is not allowed. It’s time we step up to workers in this clique and make them back off and give him a right to work his job. I endured all this from co-workers. A Supervisor had to protect me from being pounded. I could not stand their radios blaring. Yes, I did have a lot wrong at the time. But why couldn’t the medical society spot this and give me some help. There is such a stigma against people that have mental problems. It reminds me of chicks picking to death another chick the minute it has a wound.
I’m sorry your friend is having such a hard time. But I am glad that you were able to extricate yourself from the conversation before he dragged you in completely.
I guess he doesn’t see that if there is a problem with every relationship you’re in, you need to start looking at the common denominator.
Ellen
My daughter is bipolar she just got put in juvie she cut herself really bad before going, hospital would not keep her. The judge wants her to se a psychiatrist before release no one can see her before June. any advice by the time she gets out on the 13 her manic episodes will most likely be done and back to normal Liana
Thanks for your story for I have recently found out my friend suffers from this illness. I know her for two years and have been with her almost everyday, before I knew what was really going on when odd things would happen. I would call her from a public pay phone miles from her house. I would say her name and she would tell me NOT to say her name in public because someone might know her. This would and still “hurts” my brain. I could go on and on, but you have already said it all for me. Thanks for having this newsletter for I don’t feel alone..
Dave,
All BP’s do well until they have a trigger!
Unfortunately, your friend was in mania and can’t say that he is in the wrong. HE IS GOD and everyone against him IS THE DEVIL. Once he hits the bottom he will feel utter defeat as what he thought was at the root cause all that time was a lie and now his life is in shambles because of it.
I pray he and his brother get back on their meds before they hit rock bottom and do something they will regret.
I saw a website that helps people with BP get off their meds safely and then have a program to decide if they do in fact have BP. But they also tout about alternatives such as Omega 3 which I think they are selling so naturally they are going to say things like such and such have had successful results with their BP and so will you.
There are too many people out there saying things that are detrimental to the health and wellbeing of people with mental disorders. I am glad that “YOU DAVE” are not one of them!
“De-nial” is a river in Egypt!! I can’t believe you weren’t clued into your friend’s bizarre behavior BEFORE he caused you monstrous headaches and the necessity of a “conversation changer.” Funny how someone with mental illness will “project” onto someone else, when it is really HIM who has the disorder. If he ranted so much about his brother, it’s a wonder he didn’t recognize it in himself.
It also sounds like your friend has a “little” paranoia, and may have schizoid tendencies as well. By his talking rapidly and basically, incoherently, he opened himself up to “discovery” of his OWN bipolar 2. He is headed down a looong, bumpy road if he doesn’t seek treatment and get a plan. However, there are sooo many people who WON’T take their meds because they don’t THINK there’s anything wrong with them. They are feeling sooo good with hypomania, they’re afraid the meds will stop their creativity, or whatever you want to call it, and they will turn into “zombies.”
If your friend refuses to take his meds, and his brother refuses to take his meds, there is REAL trouble brewing. I hope you don’t get caught in the middle of it. Be a friend to him, but DON’T let him bring YOU down. Encourage him to see his doctor and take his meds; beyond that, there is nothing further you can do but – avoid him before your OWN mental health declines!
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love them. Stay strong, and keep the faith. My prayers are with you.
Dave,
I like your stories. I think it’s funny that you didn’t suspect your friend was bipolar until he told you! It’s a wierd feeling to “watch” someone lose their mind and realize, “holy crap” they’re delusional and paranoid. Never knew that before! This happened with a friend of mine. It was very strange and unsettling when I realized she had a mental illness as her conspiracy theories were unfolding before my eyes.
I think life is FULL of triggers for a person with bipolar disorder. I think my husband allows the triggers and looks for them! HE LOVES his hypomania! He just CANNOT say to himself, I need to avoid that situation or behavior because it could feed my mania. He simply WILL NOT listen to anyone who tells him differently.
Sorry about your friend.
I have no problem accepting the fact I am Bipolar – I admit it – but when I do crazy stuff I feel like I can’t blame it on the disorder. It must be my fault and I’m just a bad person. Even the really scary stuff that I know I don’t really want to do.
Maybe your friend has a similar problem? Too much guilt and not enough acceptance? He really needs to take his medication though – I don’t think I’d be alive now without it.
Is he bad enough to be committed? It might be the kindest thing for him. He doesn’t know how much better he could feel yet.
Hope he does OK. Don’t let it do your head in.
Deborah
I have suffered for many by bi-polar disorder, not mine, my daughter’s father and my ex-husband. He sounds so much like the phone conversation you had with your friend, except he will not even play like he takes meds because he is ok and the world is all screwed up and “they” who are “the bitches at Child Support” are after him because he refused to pay them $62 each month for child support after I became disabled and had no choice but to get State aid. While my daughter was still a minor, my current husband would drive about 150 miles one-way to pick him up and bring him into our home so he could visit his daughter. He spent all his time he was there brow beating me about child support! He didn’t want to see his daughter, which hurt her, he wanted to brow-beat me. This is one of the many reasons I got divorced from him to begin with. Constant nagging about what I didn’t do and threats on my life. So I have no doubt that your friend has Bi-polar at the very least.
I CAN TELL YOU THAT HAVING FIGHTS WITH MY FRIENDS IS REAL. I DO NOT KNOW HOW IT STARTS BUT IN THE END I ALIENATED ANYONE THAT KNEW ME AS A FRIEND. NOW I HAVE MY WIFES FRIENDS TO CALL MY OWN AND EXCEPT FOR ONE I HAVE MAINTAIN THEIR FRIENDSHIPS. I TRULY BELIEVE THAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO MY WIFE THESE FRIENDSHIPS WOULD DISAPPEAR. WHAT CAUSED THE LOSS OF SO MANY PEOPLE? BIPOLAR DISORDER. I NOW TAKE MY LITHIUM,SOROQUIL AND ABILIFY. I ALSO ON A REGULAR BASIS SEE MY SHRINK. I KNOW THAT IF I FEEL MANIA OR STUGGLE WITH DEPRESSION I CAN CALL AND BE SEEN BY MY SHRINK. I DO NOT DRINK BOOZE ANYMORE AND I DO NOT MESS WITH DRUGS. AS A BIPOLAR I KNOW THERE IS A RISK OF HAVING A FULL BLOWN EPISODE JUST BECAUSE OF MY CHEMICAL IMBALANCE. ERGO IT IS A WISE MAN THAT HAS A PLAN IN CASE SOMETHING HAPPENS TO HIM OR HER.
All I can say from experience is that this mental illness is tricky, it can trick you into believing in something which is unreal.
If you have to choose who to believe- from one side your brain is telling you that you are a “God” as PBserenity said or mentally ill as a group of “conspirators” tell you, it is very natural to choose the better option.
Your friend definitely needs help, I just want to say, it is very difficult to accept the fact for yourself that you have a mental illness. For me it took me years to fully accept it and I am usually very open minded.
Yes I am taking my medications; however I have stopped them few times myself. No excuse, simple denial.
I guess some people like your friend need more time and understanding and more support and more care and more love until they are brought back to earth from mania to realize that it is not shameful to have an illness, you just need help.
Yes you are right when you say that only by getting the right treatment we bipolars will be able to be who we really are and function properly in the outside world.
The difficult part is how to get this information into our heads from the first time so we bi polars cooperate with the therapists, relatives and supporters.
And than who is responsible for our wellbeing on the first place? Therapist, relatives or supporters or us?
I was not sure that the breakup between myself and my girlfriend of 9 years was due to her being bipolar until I read your emails. I never saw her in a depressive episode, always happy…seemingly. I had no clue that she was ever unhappy. Then she went away for a weekend, came back and emailed me a “Dear John”. She went to meet a guy she met on the internet that weekend for the first time. A week later he was living with her. She won’t talk with me, see me, or even email me. Shortly after Christmas her parents, who I have remained close with, were in a terrible accident, killing her father, and hospitalizing her mother. This affected me deeply. As I didn’t expect to hear anything from my ex-girlfriend, I contacted her sister, who told me not to contact her anymore, apparently on instructions from my ex. I wish that her family would see the symptoms. Her mother is aware of them but is in no condition to take any action. I was told to “forget all about her, she isn’t the same person anymore”. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to do that, and wish that someone would approach her about her problem, seeing as how I can’t.
Hi David, the medicine is horrible if it does not kill you it only might make it better, and better for me is just shut down, total shutdown. Then the reality is all around, bills, no job. Deniel is easier, manic is missed. I am sick!lol. I did not believe, or bipo would not let me, untill Dorthys house landed on top of me, I just did not get it. Thanks, Karen
DAVE OLIVER!!!!
I’m going to leave you a private
e-mail at your mentalhealthworld
address; I hope you have access
to it right now. I have something
EXTREMELY important to share with
you regarding your friend, as you
described him in today’s e-mail.
PLEASE try to read my e-mail; I
feel that there is a very dangerous situation here that requires immediate attention.
Thank you, Sue (RN)
When you have a bad day its just that,(a bad day) Mental health is a ROBBED whole life.(its angry it comes with punishment,words like
“snap out of it”,”grow up”,”your just lazy”etc )conventional wisdom?
even without the words the looks and additude is the same,
Like kicking a broken leg.
Its nice you can put him on the shelf when its convenient I’am sure he would like to do the same with himself.(If only he could)
only the real tough survive mental illness.
Like drowning in the ocean of panic you fight of the ones trying to save you.
My younger sister and I both have depression anxiety disorders she has been diagnosed as bipolar. Last year she started calling me telling me that everyone around her was out to get her, ruin her new marrage and on and on. Since she was 2000 miles away and I had no money for travel I felt helpless to do anything. Thankfully my big siter got hold of attorities and told them she had threatened suicide, something no one told me about. She got help and started doing better. Seems she had joined a group that figured medicine was bad and therapy was all that was needed.
Your friend sounds more like paranoid schizophrenic! Do you think he was having a psychotic episode?
Angela H.
Is your friend having a psychotic episode? He sounds like he is having some paranoid delusions.
Angela H
Your friend sounds like he is in a very serious psuchotic episode. Of course “they” are plotting against him. Is it possible that he has some other imbalance, such as schizophrenia. He is certainly delusional, hence he is in need of medication, as well as his brother. The other problem of course, is to determine whether or not he is dangerous. If that is the case, the general public needs to be protected. One possibleaction, is to determine whether or not he has access to guns, or other wuch weapon of destruction. If so use what ever method you can to get them to a safe place. Possibly even turn them over to your local PD, so that we won’t hear about him in the news.
FUNNIES:
For Those Who Take Life WAY TOO SERIOUSLY
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
30. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view
53. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Here are a few of the
Bet You Didn’t Know:
Scientists say the higher your I.Q. the more you dream.
The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.
You use 200 muscles to take one step.
The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.
You and your friend are both correct. I am Bi-Polar and I was made this way by the school kid and other abuse that happened to me in my youth, I have overcome much through meditation and prayer. I seldom take medications, I can’t hold down a job. I am 47 and I am learning self control. Still I wish that when people terminated my jobs they would tell me why. It is part of the wicked want control. You can deny they are there but it is true. Some of us are sensitive and we get it. This may even be a part of our evolving process.
I have a close friend (romantic) who has been diagnosed with bi-polar. (we are both in our 50s) He is very intelligent !, extremely artistically talented ! and holds down a part time job working with people in the mental health field. He is usually great to be around…funny, generous, communicative, loving…
We were very close (I thought) discussed marraige – loved each other`s company (he said he suffered separation anxiety when he wasn`t with me) and in many ways we just got along very well. I was happy and hopeful…he seemed to be, also (but has a history of many broken
relationships…always blamed on the inadequacy of the women involved, either their lying deceptions or their emotional instability)…
He sees a therapist (at least sometimes) and seems incredibly knowledgable – even in a kind of way “proud” about his diagnosis, takes medication – but occasionally forgets if he`s taken it and sometimes doubles up…) But, he is in enormous debt…which he appears to be making attempts to correct, is indulgent regarding treating himself (caffeine and sugary items, expensive shoes, etc.) – with little or no planning – even if his rent is due – and when he`s not managing his bills. His phone has been cut off several times in recent months and I have bailed him out (financially) a couple of times…(oops?) But he always seems to have a plausible reason for all these catastrophies…
I`ve spent alot of time helping him sort out his paper work and his apartment (most of it, by his request) and he seems truely thankful at the time…but then will turn it around and say that he could have done it himself and I did help but he did alot before I spent any time on it…He is very sensitive to criticism and even a slight difference of opinion or question about his work will incite hostility and he can shut down. and even after he gets over it and cheers up…it lurks like a dark cloud…and he`ll bring it up at the next little opportunity.
I love him. We mostly really enjoyed each other`s company…and I thought I could manage his mood swings and slightly narcissistic take on things…
But the closer we`ve gotten, the more frequently he has exhibited a kind of coldness if I have the slightest difference of opinion… that has scared me a couple of times.He can be sweet and attentive and incredibly flattering and charming and generous…and then I`ll make some innocent comment and he just switches off – says this isn`t working out – he can`t stand my attitude and I should leave…these switches take me totally by surprise and I find myself trying to rephrase myself and apologize regularly to try and change his mind…
he can be brutally rude and really puts me down…would never do that to the people he works with! (he used to apologize for his behaviour to me…but more recently has said he hates how he`s “become” and I should leave.
I have to say that it seemed to have gotten worse when he tried a new drug (for bi-polar)…he`d also had the flu, so was under the weather anyway…however the new drug gave him headaches, so he stopped it…but things only improved a little after that…
He has decided we need some space to think about where our relationship is headed…he said he had no clarity and he`d rather break up now than work at it to have us break up later (he said he couldn`t handle that kind of pain) …but at the same time he said he loved me and didn`t think he`d find a more suitable mate and hated the idea of living alone – seemed truly fearful of the idea – and then became even more tender and sweet…but insisted I should still move out…(this is so tearing up my heart…I thought we were planning a future together…)
so I moved out…and he`d call and tell me how much he missed me and apologized for all the things we wouldn`t be able to do, now, that we`d planned together.
we talk for ages on the phone (when he calls…) and he still says “we” and he seems very close, but if “our relationship” comes up he says we`ll talk about it another time…
now at least some of this may just sound like a normal man with cold feet…
but the problem is that he is telling me two things at once…and he “confabulates” alot…
He has said we`ll have to see how things go over time…but now is making up reasons why it hasn`t worked…and is also trying to prove that I should have a mental diagnosis also. He makes a joke out of it – but persists and I think he is serious…
Most of the time he is a caring and lovely human being and I`m studying and trying to learn how to negotiate his moods – even as his friend…
I am not a martyr and of course I don`t want to suffer…but I also don`t want to give up on an otherwise gifted and likeable human being who I`ve grown to love very much.
does anyone have any advice or suggestions???
Hi Marag
If this is not what you want for the rest of your life?
MOVE ON
after marrying expect much more of the same
I wanted to respond to the email about people who go to alot of support groups for bipolar are negative and don’t do well. My friend does that and she is a mess. She can’t or won’t work and she is always in turmoil. She has a masters degree and doesn’t work. She is so medicated that she can’t drive after she takes her dosage. She needs meds but she takes way too much. It is a waste. I also know people that do not attend these meetings and you can’t even tell they have bipolar. They work and take care of families etc. and are contributors to society. Funny how it works. You can get too much help. Anyway let me know what you think of that. Rebecca Gentis
To MARAG: My last, late husband had “moods,” too; he would, when we first got together, yell at me with no reason, and later apologize profusely. Yet, he was like my father in this respect. He was VERY intelligent – worked as an Intelligence Officer in the Army during the Korean Conflict.
Then, he’d turn around and be VERY sweet and compassionate. He was diagnosed as OCD, NOT bipolar, but he was on a LOT of narcotics (which eventually killed him). I am the one with bipolar, and I guess my moods matched his. I “put up with” his moodiness BECAUSE I loved him, and couldn’t face the future without him in my life.
We were separated for a year because he tried to kill me, and I kicked him out. (He was 19 years older; I was in my 50s). But once he got released from the State Hospital – I took him back AND married him! We were together five years; the marriage lasted 3 months, when he died.
I DO NOT regret loving this man; I do NOT regret having him in my life and carrying his name. To this day, I STILL think of him with good thoughts and miss him terribly.
I cannot tell you what to do. Someone with bipolar is different than someone else with bipolar. You just have to ask yourself if the pain of his “good moods” is worth the pain of his “bad moods.” Of course, it MIGHT not be the bipolar, in that he COULD have “cold feet.” But – I’m betting he DOES need you in his life; but doesn’t like the idea of marriage. Perhaps he’s just “protecting” you.
I wish you good luck in whatever direction your love for this man takes.
From one who knows…
I wish someone would come up with a better term than “mental illness”, which would reduce the stigma and encourage more people to seek professional help if they need it. The word “mental” to a lot of uninformed people often means “dangerous” or even “stupid”. When those in the politically correct wisdom (or madness) started referring to the mentally ill as “people with learning difficulties” it drew all the wrong attention, as the term implies that those people are stupid. Bipolar people certainly don’t have learning difficulties.
BPSERENITY, thanks for the funnies again. “The higher your I.Q. the more you dream.” I dream an awful lot – my I.Q. must be exceptionally high (lol). Next time someone gives me stick for dreaming too much I will tell them that.
Hey David,
I liked reading about your friend. Not that it made me happy. It was sad. But the list of “bipolar” behaviors” are things I have had trouble learning from doctors, and they are invaluable. I would love it if you would list more in your emails. They allow you to know when you are dealing with the person or the disease. Others I have noticed are. . .inability to think fairly, inability to NOT be very critical, inability to reason when angry. These of cource are non medicated behaviors. But you mentioned a people thinking they are being attacked when they are the one attacking. It was good to see in print, because I’ve run into that one in real life, and its not fun.
Thanks for all you do.
Maggie
bipolar supporter
To Marag,
I think it is important for us in situations like this not to lose ourselves. I am reading a book on co-dependence at the moment. It is called “Codependent no more” and find some things there quite useful.
To Marag,
I think it is important for us in situations like this not to lose ourselves. I am reading a book on co-dependence at the moment. It is called “Codependent no more” and find some things there quite useful.
That’s my daughter! I’ve had bipolar for as far back as my history will allow. and I am a supporter of a daughter who is in denal. She was on meds but quick because she says she dosen’t need them,everyone else is the problem. I can’t force her to take meds, so I sit back and pray to get through another day. And the sad thing is I saw a great difference when she was taking them. She is a walking time bomb.and someday it will explode and I will be there again to pick up the pieces.It’s really hard keeping myself stable and trying to help her along her way. woo!
The author, Melody Beattie, has penned several books and I believe she is the author of “Codependancy No More”. My favorite book by her is, “The Language of Letting Go”. Although the theme is based on the 12 steps of AA, the content is applicable to any singular person/situation who NEEDS to take care of themself regardless if it is due to a substance, mental illness, or if one needs to be able to simply step out of the box and gain perspective. It is a must read and it is a book I have consulted thousands of times over the last 7 years when I needed to take care of me or felt overwhelmed by life. Each time I read the contents I have a deepened respect for myself and others. Enjoy the journey of life.
The author, Melody Beattie, has penned several books and I believe she is the author of “Codependancy No More”. My favorite book by her is, “The Language of Letting Go”. Although the theme is based on the 12 steps of AA, the content is applicable to any singular person/situation who NEEDS to take care of themself regardless if it is due to a substance, mental illness, or if one needs to be able to simply step out of the box and gain perspective. It is a must read and it is a book I have consulted thousands of times over the last 7 years when I needed to take care of me or felt overwhelmed by life. Each time I read the contents I have a deepened respect for myself and others. Enjoy the journey of life.
Great story, the relevance is amazing!
I understand turtl’s comment about working with kids. They push me to my limits and I react badly. Or maybe I just react badly any way especially when Am stressed or off my meds.