Hi,
I hope you’re having a good day.
Hey, everyone was asking me about my Goddaughter’s birthday and how old she is.
She is 1. We had a lot of fun yesterday. I bought her a little people animal farm type of toy.
Anyway, I had the worst day of eating in seriously years. I feel terrible. I had all carbs for 50% of the day. No protein. I had so much cake it’s a joke. I feel TERRIBLE today.
So I am going to the gym TWICE today : )
Two cardio sessions.
Anyway, thanks for asking if you did.
Okay, I got a call from someone that I know who is dealing with bipolar disorder late last night.
Her husband has bipolar disorder and she was afraid. She said he had “gone off the deep end.”
She said he stopped taking his medication and was yelling and screaming at her loudly. I told her to follow my course and contact the doctor on his emergency line.
She said, “I never thought my husband could be like your mom.”
I was kind of annoyed by that statement.
First I want to say something. Soooooooo many people say to me, “I am not like your mom.”
Or they say, “My loved one is not like your mom.”
Listen, my mom was never that bad most of my life. I mean, she was bad sometimes but not that bad before the last major episode.
With bipolar disorder, without a system it can get worse.
The person who never did anything wrong can sometimes turn violent. They are not in their right mind.
Look at this:
Hello David,
Hi my name is Michael, my wife (name omitted) has been speaking to you for a couple years now. I have a question for you, when my son goes crazy and I have to restrain him from hurting others or himself, He will say just kill me and get it over with it. Have you ever had to deal with that, if so how do you respond, I know my self I go from complete anger to complete sympathy, without him knowing. What would you do in that situation, how do I deal with that statement?
Thanks Mike
————————————————————
First let me say that I am NOT a doctor, therapist, lawyer, financial advisor, law enforcement official, etc.
I am NOT offering any medical, legal, financial or professional advice. But I will tell you this, because it is a fact:
Your loved one CAN become violent, even if they have never been violent before.
Especially if they go off their medication, because, as I said, they are not in their right mind.
You know Michele, who works for me.
Well, her sister had bipolar disorder, went off her medication, threw herself through a plate glass door, called the police and claimed spousal abuse and had her husband arrested!
Another day she told her husband that she had hidden a box cutter in the house and that he better not go to sleep that night, because she was going to slit his throat if he did!
I know this sounds horrible, but it’s true.
Your loved one CAN turn violent, even if they’ve never been violent before.
I said in the beginning that without a system it can get worse. In my courses/systems below, I talk about how you have to have a system:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
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What you do is, between episodes, when your loved one is calm and receptive to good communication, the two of you sit down and work out what you would do if your loved one did become violent. You have to have a system in place, just in case.
I know one couple who did this.
Here’s what they worked out.
They decided that if he goes into an episode and becomes violent, that the first thing she should do is call 911 and the police, so he doesn’t hurt her.
As long as she calls right away, chances are he won’t hurt her, so she can stay to tell the police that he has bipolar disorder, so they won’t take him to jail, they’ll just restrain him and take him to the hospital.
During that time, she is to call her husband’s psychiatrist, to let him know what’s happening, so he can be in touch with the hospital, in case they need his help with medications, etc., or his advice on where to send her husband (what facility, etc.).
Then she is to take all his medications and follow them to the hospital.
See? They have a very comprehensive system that they worked out in advance, when her husband was not in an episode that protects both of them should he become violent.
Mostly, they acknowledged the fact that, even though they didn’t want to think about that fact, and didn’t want to think that it might happen, they still worked out a system in case it should.
Another point, too. They also have a signed Medical Release and Power of Attorney signed by him (when he was not in an episode) that she has a copy of that she would take with her to the hospital in case she would need to admit him. This is a very important point, because during an episode, especially when your loved one is violent, you will NOT be able to get his/her signature on one of these forms, and you will be restricted from having access to them and/or their records and/or their care.
There also might be personal things you might need to do, like have access to your bank accounts, that a Power of Attorney will enable you to do.
I know it’s probably hard to believe right now that our loved one could turn violent, but with bipolar disorder it’s always a possibility.
Just make sure you have a system in place.
Do you agree with this or think I am out of my mind. Do you believe ANYONE with bipolar disorder can turn violent who is not with the right treatment plan?
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Post responses below
The sweetest person can become violent. Our daughter has never become violent, but we feared her at times, locked our bedroom door at night, hid all the knives, etc. She threatened to kill people, she heard voices telling her to kill her brother and fought it (verbalized this to us right when it was happening, and said, I love Jeremy, I would never kill him! to the voices) and talked about death and burying people a lot. She remembers none of this, and is the sweetest most loving person imaginable. All this happened when she was not taking medications. She is now stable and doing well, and takes her medications religiously, thank God! We don’t have to fear her anymore.
David I thank God for you and your wonderful work. I only wish I had known about it and all this wonderful information before i had to go thru it all. I went thru everything you have mentioned including not having the power of attorney and not having access to my ex-husbands care. We had no contingency and no plan and it was pure he*l and I just do not wish it on anyone else. I am happy you explained about the violence and what needs to be done for i had no recourse and know how much it hurts to have to do it and follow thru but if you have all of this in place and can get your loved one to help it makes so much sense to do it and have it for the hard times will come with bipolar and you must be ready. I commend you on your hard work. You are so needed and we, the care givers and the ones with bipolar are much more able to understand and to trust someone who has gone thru it to some degree as you have with your mother, than someone who just has learned what they know and say from education. We need you and your help. Do not give up on us, we are all learning with you and we need you .
There’s one problem that I have with signing a power of attorney, If you in your full mind and your spouse or partner decides to abuse it and take full control and even go to as far as saying untrue things so to commint you to hospital that takes real trust. I love my husband dearly but whats to say or stop him in years to come to say he’s completely fed up and take that sort of action.
As unpredicable bipolar can be so can someone with no such illness. We all say at some point or another that “I thought I knew I that person but didnt” They would of done something or other that was out of their character. they dont need to be bipolar to do that.
i know I never sign anything legal that gives power to anyone and I couldnt have a nicer husband.
God Bless Amanda
I know that I have problems if I am late with taking my meds, and recently I got mixed up on one of the meds I was supposed to be taking at a certain time of the day. Luckily, I have some nursing support who help me with my meds, and I asked them about this and they were able to correct my mistake before I did anything harmful to myself. Support like this can be invaluable, but I know not everyone can get this. Good luck to everyone out there.
For Brian:
Get a pill holder, that has 7 days on it and 4 different times per day to take medications. That way you know if you’ve taken your am pills, any during the day, and your night time pills. I know this helped me alot until I was stable. Have been stable now for 2 years, although there have been medication adjustments for minor things like being too drowsy or gaining unwanted weight. Best of luck to you.
Teri
“Normally,” though bipolar, I am a VERY “nice” person who wouldn’t hurt a fly. I have a LOT of very good friends who, if they didn’t KNOW I was bipolar, would never suspect it.
However, in ALL of my 3 episodes, I have become violent. I can remember being attacked in the day room by another patient – AND I fought back, dislocating my shoulder. I was literally “fighting for my life!” Finally, a staff member came and took him off of me.
During my last episode, I didn’t want my boyfriend to leave, so I pretended I was going to kick his guitar down 22 flights of stairs. He grabbed me – and we had a complete “donnybrook.” It only ended when he picked me up to throw ME down the stairs, and I started to poke him in the eye!
Also, when my brother tried to stop me from driving away – I almost ran him over with the car! I must have had SOME kind of “restraint” in my head that kept me from doing it, as I really WANTED to!!
It IS hard for me to believe that I could be this violent; after the incident is over, I feel OK, and wonder HOW I could have done such things!
So – Dave, you ARE soooo right; ANY person with bipolar disorder CAN become violent. Even me. And that SCARES me now, and in the future.
I ALWAYS had a Power of Attorney since 1977, so my finances could be taken care of, and to keep my Mom from selling my car to get money to keep me in the hospital. Also, to dole out money from my checking account when I wasn’t communicating with my Mom. Right now, I DON’T have a POA, as I don’t have anyone I can trust with one – I don’t have a supporter, as I’m not in any relationship. The only “support” I have is the local Community Mental Health Clinic, and it seems, they can do ANYTHING they want to with me.
My advice is – talk with your bipolar loved one when they’re NOT in an episode, and discuss what to do when violence is threated and/or happens. AND – get a POA to secure you and your loved one’s capacity to help during an episode.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
“Do you believe ANYONE with bipolar disorder can turn violent who is not with the right treatment plan?”
I think it is possible even if you ARE on the right treatment plan! If you get hit with one of those break-through episodes, especially if (like me) you can cycle very fast and just switch, because the mood can turn ever before you have a chance to notice the process had started.
Amanda K
I know exactly where you are coming from with this!
My husband Joe seems to have all the symptoms of bipolar…..he goes into moods, then outbursts of anger and becomes violent throwing things at people……but he broods days before about something then goes into these moods……he even threatens he will do something to us at times….Unfortunately, where we live there are no facilities for mental problems……I have lived with this man for 35 years, he has always been like this, lately he has become worse……he will not hear about going to see a psychiatrist when we go overseas, says he is not mad…..I can no longer take this verbal abuse and we have all been badly affected by his behaviour over the years…..I wish I could give him some medication for this what do I do……thanks miria.
Dave;
The “medication” & the psychiatrist are the “Disorder.”
Check out the CCHR Website.
Then shut up. I was going to say come & see me when you know something, that will never happen.
I was wanting to buy your book, but reading your worthless ranting daily has changed all that.
All you ever say is: “Take the Drugs, see the Quack.” You are worse than worthless.
The Drugs are of no good to any part of the “consumer.” If the Drugs do as you & yours say, all would be wanting the Drugs. As they are NONE want NOR NEED the crap. The Quack will not take it, so why should we have to?
My Quack told me their is NO Drug that will change anything, NOR can she change anything, so WHAT is their Duity? Quack gets 21.6K/Hour WHY?
The Quack does NOT know how the Drugs work, NOR what they do. They do the exact opposite the Quack tells you they do, they Decerebate, they ruin the whole organism, and its Family.
As the Garbage does the opp of what it is pushed to do Lilly the maker of Olanzapine Zyprexa is in Court, for Lies & such.
Since they know nothing about their Drugs, why can they FORCE us to take them? I was cirtain Drugs had to be tested & proven before they where Pushed. Or is that only “Illegal” ones? You would not be allowed to give “Antipsychotic” “Medication” to Animals.
“Antipsychotics & Mood Stabilizers” make us agressive, Suicidal……
Electroshock “therapy” is against the Geneva convention, yet the Quack can do it to us, WHY? Can’t do it to a terrible terrist! Can’t do it to George Troublya Bush. The Man who Ruined the World, why NOT? Beacause it is such a terrible thing to do.
Some FOOL psych. seen the device used in a slaughter house in Rome in the ’30’s. It was used to stun the Pig before sticking it. No research Scientific or otherwise was done. Their is NO Science backing this Vile trade. This Fool had been electrocuiting Dogs at home in Germany. He used an Electrode one in the Anus, one in the Mouth. Most Dogs had Heart attacks. When he seen the Device he had found his Ca$h Cow. He started Zapping the Brains of Gifted People. FRYING them.
Yes as the “medication” the Electricution removes chunks of the Brain causing memory loss Retardation… I have heard if the “Patient” wakes whilst the psych is Raping them. They will recieve “Electroshocktherapy.” To remove their memory. It happens little Dave. These scum are the LOWEST FORM. THEY CALL IT ALL THE RAPY.
The psych. Trade is a Fraudulent trade. They need know nothing, they have learned nothing, they still study Fraeud, that Peadifile, Woman hater who invented “Mental Disorder.” Obviosly a Failed GP.
Good Day.
My son has bipolar and even though he takes his medication and sees a psychitrist (I know that’s not spelled right) and a counsler he still has violent outburst. We’ve had to restrain him from hurting himself or us and I do get scared sometimes. I worry about him becoming an adult and what will happen if he stops taking the medicine, but sometimes I don’t think the medicine does any good. We’ve had it altered and changed as he grows, but still I don’t see much change. He always talks about killing someone when he gets even a little upset. I even had to take him out of school and start home schooling him because I couldn’t get anyone at his school to understand about bipolar and that he has rapid cycles. He can go from happy to wanting to kill someone in seconds and not remember everything he does. They just kept telling me that he knows what he’s doing and needs to learn to behave and do what he’s told. It’s so hard to get someone to understand when they have no clue of what I go through. They act like I’m lying to them or making up excuses for him. We even had a plan that when he started feeling an episode coming on that he would be able to leave the class room and go to the office to sit to calm down, but his teachers didn’t want to allow him to do that because they said he was just wanting to leave class and then tried to restrain him to make him stay in the class room which escalated the problem, he was expelled for a time after that I finally gave up on them working with me in any way and felt I had no other choice but to remove him. His counsler said there was really no place for childern with bipolar to be admitted when they go into episodes they say to just call the police, but I’ve seen with exprience since my nephew also has this that the police (at least around here) don’t care when you tell them that they had bipolar they treat them the same as they would someone who knows what they’re doing. My nephew ended up in ICU because when the police came to get him he was in a violent episode and they hit him with their stick and we spent days at the hospital not knowing if he was going to come to or not. I don’t want anything like that to happen to my son. I know he can get violent but he’s always remorseful after he calms down. I enjoy hearing from you and everything. I’ve even bought some of your books and pamplets to take to the school for them to try to get to understand, but do you really think the medicine and the police will help? Sometimes I have my doubts because he takes enough medication to knock a person out and still gets violent and depressed at times wanting to die and get it over with. Sometimes I sit and cry because I don’t know what else to do for him, talking to the counsuler doesn’t do him any good it actually seems to anger him more. Sometimes I just want to give up and let someone else do it all…but then I realize he needs and loves me even though he tells me he hates me most of the time. I don’t mean to make him sound all bad because we have good days too, he has a soft heart and would do anything for you as long as nothing goes wrong. They say to put him on a schedule and keep to it, but what happens when something goes wrong with that schedule cause things happen everyday that change. What’s going to happen to him if he stays on a regular schedule when he becomes an adult and everything is going good then one day he goes out to his car to go to work and has a flat tire or something…schedules broken and he’ll be lost. I don’t mean to sound critical but what else can I do, the medicine doesn’t seem to help.
I am 41,i have bi polar and didnt really know what it was until i was FINALLY diagnosed with it(amoung other conditions) 5 yrs ago! I have been on so many meds in the past for depression and anxiety, never sticking to ant for to long.I read this letter from you and it really hit me, when i read about the woman who threw her self through the plate glass window,i was in shock for a min. ,i said to my self “SO THATS WHY I HAVE DONE THE THINGS I DID” (ive done things similar to what she did,but no plate glass). I WAS 15 OR 16 AT THAT TIME! so ive had to live my life thinking that maybe i was going crazy and the mood swings didnt help me either. I always thought that my mom, my grandmaand my aunt were moody(mean) at times,my mom was violent towards my dad and towards my sister when i was a teenager, and i always feared that i would grow up and become her.(seriously)Now i know i did! she has to have it to. I havent been violent towards my kids though (thk god) but i am mean and moody. It hurts me to be this way, i know what i went through and never wanted to put them through it, but i am, the cycle repeats itself.I wasnt diagnosed in 1991 when i pulled a stunt on my live in boy friend (husband now- allthough i dont know why he said “i do’?)making him think i had just overdosed when he came home from work on day , or in 1997(?) when i actually tried it,but i now know why. But, i am not at ease, more and more lately ive been afraid of “the next time” “will there be one?” “when?” “whats going to happen” “when?” “how bad?” Im waiting on it with my doctor “terminating” me for accidently missing 2 med app. in a yr.,i really dont know what im gonna do when i finally snap. I was going there for yrs now, hes the one who found some meds that actually helped me out, i felt about 70 percent better than befor i was diagnosed. To just dump a person with bi polar like that is enough to throw me into a panic, trying to find some one to take me as a new patient(not to many in this area to start with)and ive been out of one of my meds for quite a while now im almost out of another,cant this be life threatning? Im sorry but i truly truly dont have anyone to talk to and you can probally guess why, its the same reason i cant keep a job. Some times it makes me wonder, whats the point in going through life like this? and making every one else around you miserable in the process.what can i do?
Dear David,
You’re absolutely right! I lived with a violent bipolar spousefor over 30 years. Even with plans in place, he was so eradict I had problems carrying them out without glitches. Bipolar personalities are very instinctive about impending breaks in their routines. In addition, anger control is partially due to personality disorders evidenced in incredable rage and sudden calming at their convenience (like when the police show up at the door and he/she state that crazy-acting person just took off on a tangent and he/she have no knowledge of the impetus.)
In treatment, therapists are usually aware of the comorbidity of various other syndromes but with limited time, the major period isspent on the primary problem and its success or lack of control.
Another problem is that retaining friends and even family who are willing to assist or be involved in the turmoil begin to dwindle as time goes on. Afterall, that type of stress affects the “helpers” also and translates in their own family interactions. My mother stopped all communications with me after 1 horrendous episode. It lasted for 30 years. Her husband’s death and my divorce a few years earlier opened the doors to reacquaint ourselves again. Think of all the time of lost relationship I lost.
So I suggest not just 1 plan but a number of alternatives; not only interacting with your BP person but with direction of your own life. Involvement can become so encompassing around of the ill person, it’s extremely esy to forget your and your other family members have lives too.
Having well thought out options lend a strength to your daily activities and actually decrease some of the gut-knotting emotions we carry around.(Yes, I’m a retired RN and a blackbelt survivor of bipolarity)
We have a family member that ended up in jail when I had to call the police. I had asked that they take him to hospital for psych eval but because he has severe personality disorders he can turn some of it off and on do the police did not see a delusional violent prerson so they charged him with slot of things. The purpose was to get him into the mental health system legally so the court will force certain treatment.
We are terrified by the threats and violence and he was terrorizing us in the middle of the night repeatedly.
He had recently gotten best up somewhere and then he had been getting more aggressive with us including physically and then the last night was horrific and the things he was saying were very sick.
How can someone turn it off and on depending on the audience when those that live with the person know exactly what is going on is delusions. By the way he is slot like Troy in the negative attitude.