Hi,
Hope you’re doing well.
I have to get going because today is my Goddaughter’s birthday so her mom and dad are having a party. So I have to get stuff done before then.
Anyway, this is for both people with bipolar disorder and their supporters.
Because it’s not just those who have the disorder who struggle with mood problems, their supporters do, too. Maybe not to the same degree, but they do – bad moods, good moods, happy one minute, sad the next, maybe even suffer from depression themselves.
But the point I want to make is, you can’t be fooled by your moods.
When you have a biologically based disorder like bipolar disorder, sometimes you have no control over your moods – they are simply controlled by the chemical imbalance in your brain.
For supporters, even though you don’t have a biologically based disorder, you can still get depressed from time to time, can’t you?
But the point is for you, don’t be fooled by this depression, otherwise you might think you’re “catching” your loved one’s bipolar disorder, and you just can’t catch bipolar disorder like you can catch the flu.
So don’t be fooled by your moods.
The same thing with “elation,” though.
Just because you’re feeling extreme happiness or joy, doesn’t mean you’re going into a manic episode, so don’t let that mood fool you either. It has to be for an extended period of time and have other symptoms with it to be an actual manic episode.
In my courses/systems, I talk about the difference between a normal mood and the mood swings of bipolar disorder, as well as the signs/symptoms of a bipolar episode:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But just don’t let your moods fool you.
Bipolar or not, you CAN have “normal” moods.
You can feel sadness and not be depressed.
You can feel joy and not be manic.
You can feel anger and not be manic as well.
Your moods can be extremely deceptive. When you’re depressed, you can think your life is worse than it really is.
When you’re extremely joyful, you can think your life is much better than it really is.
In good moods, things don’t feel so hard and problems don’t seem so overwhelming. You might feel like nothing is impossible to solve.
On the other hand, in bad moods, you might feel like everything is too hard for you and your problems are insurmountable, and your whole life is overwhelming.
This is another way your moods can fool you, so you also have to stay realistic.
When you’re in a good mood, relationships seem to flow and communication is easy. Even if your loved one or supporter criticizes you, you would probably just take it in stride, think maybe they just had a bad day, or whatever. You wouldn’t think you’re a bad person or anything or that they hate you.
But if you’re in a bad mood, on the other hand, you might take that criticism as a dig at your whole character and become totally depressed for days.
This is yet another way that your moods can fool you, so you have to also keep things in perspective.
So remember…
Bipolar or not…
DON’T BE FOOLED BY YOUR MOODS!
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Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
David,
You do much good work with your daily emails. Bless you. I have been diagnosed with early Alzheimers; have a daughter who was diagnosed with manic depression, but thanks to meds & treatment & support is doing great. She supports me.
You do not know how many people you are helping. May you & your family have a blessed Christmas season.
Your friend in Tucson, Arizona
Lee Wagner
David,
I don’t know if you are interested or not? This is to let you know that for the past 13 days I have been on deaths door step. I’ve had blood clots in both lungs. I was in the hospital for 11 days and I’m not full of energy just yet.Hope you have a great holiday season.
God Bless
carol
Hi Dave,
I am bipolar and have recently been contributing to this blog frequently. Today your subject was on moods. Well last month, I couldn’t remember a few cleaning techniques for my house and a couple of other subjects, so I ended up calling my mom 3 times in one day. Finally, she says to me, “Are you in a manic?” I said NO, i was just cleaning the house–which hadn’t been done in a LONG time– too depressed.
Then the other day I called my mom about arrangements for Christmas,
she started in about her symptoms of osteoarthiritis in her shoulders, and it’s affecting her arm movements AND SHE IS IRRITABLE.
I said, ” your irritations are making you irritable.” She proceeded to yell at me, ” all I need is more understanding and help.”
I said, “what can I do to help?”
And then she started RAGGING on me about how I didn’t keep the room I slept in clean enough. Which was pure bullshit. I was probably the best I’ve been about cleaning up after my self than I’ve been in 11 years. There were no comments about how much weight I’ve lost, how I was putting make-up on everyday now, how I was dressing much more stylishly. Helping clean up after dinner. She just kept ragging on the point of the bedroom. Finally I said, “Mom I get the point, I think we better stop.” And she kept it up, I said, “Mom STOP!” and she kept it up son finally I clicked the OFF button on my phone and hung up on her. She probably thinks I’m in some sort of “episode” but I was just plain MAD and practicing healthy boundaries. I’ve never had healthy boundaries with my mom and she is a very intrusive, gossipy, negative person. yes, she and my dad were very supportive when I was unstable with my Bipolar, but now I’m dealing with her in a different way then I used to before I was diagnosed with Bipolar. We have rights to have boundaries and when someone crosses them physically or emotionally we have a right to act in our best interest. Mine was cutting the phone call off.
Teri
To CAROL: I”m soooo sorry to hear of your hospitalization, especially at this time of year. I hope the doctors were able to help with your blood clots in your lungs; that’s nothing to fool around with. Hope you have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS, and that your problems are behind you!!
To TERI: I think you did the RIGHT thing by hanging up on your mother. Sometimes, when a loved one just goes on and on, and doesn’t recognize the GOOD that we do, and just keeps ragging on us about THEIR problems, it becomes overwhelming, and we HAVE to cut it short! It was wise of you to terminate the conversation before it got out of hand. A negative “vibe” CAN affect how you feel about yourself, and it sounds as if you are on the RIGHT track with your taking care of YOUR SELF, and improving in your OWN moods and self-confidence – I’m PROUD of you!!
I could NEVERset boundaries with my Mom. Occasionally, she would hang up on me – and I’d call her right back to smooth things over so she wouldn’t think I didn’t love her. I know it was all in my mind, but I worried that every time I talked to her, I thought it might be the last. Although she was basically VERY healthy and spunky, she was old enough to be my grandMother, and I just never knew. When she got Alzheimer’s, she came to live with my husband and me, but that’s another story.
“Moods” are funny things, especially for persons with bipolar. I know I worried another woman on this blog when I “fantasized” about a man in my Church to the point where she thought I was going hypomanic! All I was doing was engaging in a little “imagination” that made me feel GOOD, and she turned it into a minor episode! I reassured her it was just fantasy, and not to take it too seriously. THAT’S the problem with “normal” mood swings; they CAN scare those closest to us, and I appreciate her concern. BUT – my therapist says I’m FAR from being hypomanic – I just feel GOOD about where I am at this point in my life. AND – I’m being REALISTIC about all the changes in my life…
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
Hi, Dave,
Thank you for a great message today. It is so easy to have a good mood turn into a bad one because of your Bipolar loved ones is “ragging” you. I do my best to not let it ruin my day when this happens, and your suggestions today really help to reinforce what I already knew, but sometimes get “caught up” and react. I’ll remember what you have said today and do my best to practice what you advise.
Don’t know what I would do without your daily emails. God Bless You, and I wish you a very, very Merry Christmas. And to all of you out there who suffer from Bipolar and you who are supporting your loved one, to you I wish you a wonderful Christmas. I love reading all of your comments on this blog. Thank You and God Bless All of You.
dave i have granddaughter with bipolar and split pers i have real hard time with her she has lived with us for almost 2yr we are in 60plus i love her but it is getting harder to conttrol and talked to her cause she get verbally violent and am not sure how to handle would love some fedback on this grandmother who is really stressed
hello david,
sorry I am sending u late reply.I am a bipolar affective disorder patient.I have been taking medicine since 3 years.But some time it comeback again.I am too much worried.I cannot study properly.help me
Dave,
I have been reading your comments and alot of them do help. I have a grandson 10 year old that I feel has the signs of being bipolor. His birth mom has it and well mainly her family. She doesnt see much of him but he has the mood swings and can be going really good and then a explosive swing happens…they have been trying different meds but it really seems its trail and error. He has trouble in school and he talks to a professial but it seems they really cant help… I sometimes wonder if they know what they are doing. Its so hard on his dad and stepmom they dont know where to turn or what the right thing to do….The DR if you call them that cant give meds unless they put him in a clinic he is 10!! They did that before it was to put him on meds ….I dont see how that helps pulling a child away from his home and going through all that…. I strongly disagree with that ….just wanting the right help