Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi, how’s it going?

You know, I think we live in the best country in the world. Our country is based on FREEDOM. Unfortunately, sometimes we take it for granted. But we should be very grateful

for it. Many other people do not enjoy the same freedom that we enjoy.

We have the Constitution. We have the Bill of Rights. These things guarantee our freedom.

We are free to go where we want. We are free to do what we want (as long as it doesn’t break the law). But most importantly, we are free to be who we are. And to live the way we want to live.

Sometimes, though, there are things that restrict that freedom. Like your loved one’s bipolar disorder. They can’t always do what they want to do because of it. They can’t always go where they want to go because of it. And they can’t always be who they want to be because of it.

Unfortunately, bipolar disorder is an illness involving extreme mood swings. And many times your loved one won’t be able to predict their moods. It’s not that they want to be depressed – they would rather be who they really are inside all the time. It’s not that they want to be manic – they would rather be who they really are inside all the time. But sometimes these moods get in

the way.

It’s not their fault. It’s their bipolar disorder. You know how your loved one is between episodes. That’s who they really are. It really helps if you can remember that person. The person that your loved one is deep inside. It will help you to handle their episodes better.

Remember who it is you care for, what they are like, how they normally act between bipolar episodes. It will make the episodes a little easier, because you will be able to separate your loved one from the bipolar disorder and its effect on them.

Not being able to be your real self all the time cannot be a pleasant thing. What if you were in your loved one’s shoes? Think about how you might feel. You might feel frustrated. You might get angry at times. You might suffer disappointments. You might even doubt your own judgment at times. You might feel insecure. And yes, sometimes you might get depressed over these things.

Wanting to be yourself, but being restricted from it by your bipolar disorder has got to be one of the hardest things your loved one has to deal with. They should enjoy the same freedom as anyone else. But sometimes their bipolar disorder gets in the way. At those times, your loved one needs you to be even more understanding.

Hopefully, by getting this inside view of some of your loved one’s feelings, you will be able to do that.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how are you? I hope you’re doing well.

Have you ever been around an enthusiastic person? It’s hard not to catch their enthusiasm, isn’t it? If they get excited, usually you will get excited as well. It’s hard not to!

But it may be hard to stay enthusiastic if your loved one gets depressed around this time of year.

I know you can’t force them to be enthusiastic if they aren’t, but maybe you can do some things to at least encourage them.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Encourage them to get involved with holiday planning

Activity and productivity are always good for someone who has bipolar disorder. Try to get them to give you some ideas, and get their own creative juices flowing!

2. Have them do the Christmas cards this year

You want to encourage them to think of others and to get their mind off themselves and the way they are feeling, and doing the Christmas cards will be good for them.

3. Have them help you with the holiday baking

Even if you didn’t do any holiday baking last year, do it this year and have your loved one help you with it.

4. Have your loved one make up the Christmas shopping list

Even if you have traditionally been the one to make up the Christmas shopping list every year, let your loved one do it this year. Again, it will (hopefully) get their mind off themselves.

5. Encourage them to help you put up the Christmas tree

Have fun with this – put on some pretty Christmas music to get them in the mood, and then put up the tree together.

6. Have them choose and buy for a child off the store’s Christmas Angel Tree

This will remind your loved one that there are people who are struggling this year, and it might make them feel better to buy a present for a needy child.

Hopefully, your loved one will “catch” your holiday enthusiasm this year

Hi, how’s it going? I hope you’re doing well.

Today I want to talk about “waiting for something to happen.”

Think back – when you were little, weren’t you always “waiting for something to happen?”

Like getting to the next grade in school… And vacations…And birthdays…And holidays…

And impatiently waiting to grow up.

But here’s the shocking truth: People who are always “waiting for something to happen” never become successful. It’s the people who, in spite of all the odds against them, make it a point in their lives to be successful. No more waiting – they just make things happen. And sometimes that takes some creative thinking on the part of the person.

Like a job, for example. There’s no question in the United States that the unemployment rate is high. I have noticed that many people are sort of waiting for a job to land in their lap. I know lots of my friends like this. They are just “waiting for something to happen.”

On the other hand…I have a few friends that go out there and find a job and create opportunities for themselves. This reminds me of bipolar disorder.

Many supporters and survivors just wait for bipolar episodes to improve magically on their own.

But it doesn’t work that way. You have to be proactive. You can’t just sit around “waiting

for something to happen.”

But here’s the truth about the economy and bipolar disorder: There may not be a job out there for you if you are dealing with bipolar disorder.

Being a supporter, you may need to take time off work to help your loved one. And you will probably never know when this will happen. It’s difficult to work a job under these conditions. Many supporters have lost their jobs because of their loved one having bipolar disorder. And then they find it almost impossible to get another job. When the truth is, they would probably rather be at home with their loved one, anyway.

So what is the solution?

Many people have found the answer in starting their own home businesses. Remember, I told you about being proactive. Being proactive would be starting your own business instead of “waiting for something to happen,” like waiting for that perfect job to come to you.

Remember, I also talked about creative solutions, that you might have to approach things a little differently (more creatively). That’s where people are coming up with the idea for starting their

own home businesses.

This type of “job” is so much more well-suited for someone who has bipolar disorder or their supporter.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, I hope you’re doing well today and having a good day.

Do you know someone who is a “Blamer?” They blame everything going against them for their troubles, and they complain to anyone who will listen.

It’s not comfortable to be around this type of person, is it?

Many people with bipolar disorder and their supporters want to blame someone for their trouble. They blame doctors. They blame the government. They blame hospital staff. They blame their parents. They blame their friends. They blame their boss. They blame their co-workers.

BUT…

Do you know who is really to blame? YOU ARE.

You must take responsibility for yourself and your own problems.

You are NOT a victim! Oh, you can have a victim mentality, but just try to see how far that gets you with your or your loved one’s bipolar disorder.

NOWHERE.

You will still have the same problems tomorrow that you have today.

It is not your family’s responsibility to solve your problems. It is not your friends’ responsibility to solve your problems. It is not your boss’s responsibility to solve your problems. It is YOUR responsibility to solve your problems.

You can’t just go around blaming others, expecting them to do something to help you. Sometimes you have to be your own help.

If you are struggling with bipolar disorder, if you have it, I mean, and you are having problems with it, get some help. Like if your medication isn’t working right, and/or you feel manic or depressed. Call your doctor for help – they won’t automatically “sense” that you need help. You need to reach out and tell someone so they can help you.

If you are a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder, it’s the same thing. You can ask for help, too. But you CANNOT just do NOTHING… And then put the blame on someone else. YOU are responsible for finding solutions to your problems.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews533/

Here are the news headlines:

Company with a Conscience: Participant Media’s Social Action Campaign
DO> Wow, great article, take a look.

Psychotherapeutic Treatment can Cure Cyclothymic Disorder
DO> Very interesting article, take a look.

Slim Evidence Supporting Drug [Abilify] as Bipolar Maintenance Therapy
DO>Wow, what do you think of this?

Drug Addiction: Stigma Paints it as a Choice, Not a Mental Illness
DO> Do you think it’s a mental illness or choice?

Kids of Bipolar Parents more Susceptible to Stress
DO> Isn’t this obvious?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews533/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting: http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Today I want to talk about bubble gum. Yep. You read it correctly – bubble gum! Before you think I’ve gone crazy… I know you’re asking yourself, what does bubble gum have to do with bipolar disorder? Well, I’ll tell you: Remember that old song, “Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?” Well, whether you know the song or not, the idea is that after chewing bubble gum for awhile, it gets stale, doesn’t it? It loses its flavor, and it gets stale, and you have to throw it out.

Now here comes the bipolar disorder part. The truth is that after awhile, the things you’ve tried to help your loved one to stay stable with their bipolar disorder just get old. They get stale, just like bubble gum. What do you do with bubble gum when it gets stale?

You do one of two things:

1. You throw it out.

2. You get a fresh piece.

So that’s my point.

When what you’re doing with your loved one isn’t working any more, think about that bubble

gum, and take a lesson from it. Either stop doing what you’re doing that isn’t working any more… Or try something “fresh” – something new!

If you only do one thing over and over again, and if it doesn’t work, (it gets “stale” like the

bubble gum), it’s certainly NOT going to help your loved one get any better. And it’s not going to help you, either. You have to try something new. You can do it! Think of something you’ve not ever tried before. Think of new ideas. Talk to other supporters – maybe they’ve tried

things that you haven’t. But whatever you do, it has to be something you haven’t tried before.

Like…How about surprising your loved one with a “reward” for “good behavior”? Cook them their favorite meal. Take them out to their favorite restaurant. Go out to the movies. Or rent their favorite video and stay in, popping some popcorn to go with it. Visit some friends or family. Go to a museum or art gallery. Go shopping and let them buy something they want.

Just something “fresh,” something new. I’m sure you can come up with some good ideas, can’t you?

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

You know, so much of the material written about bipolar disorder centers around the person with the disorder and their happiness. There really isn’t a lot written about the supporter and their own happiness, is there?

Today’s subject is about how you deserve your own happiness too, and you shouldn’t have to put

it aside just because your loved one has bipolar disorder. DON’T!

You spend a lot of time as a supporter, and one of the problems with when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder is that you can get caught up in your loved one’s struggle with their own management of the disorder and your helping them with it. DON’T!

They may have a problem with their mood swings and their own happiness because of it, but you

should not let this affect your own happiness, as hard as this might be, just because of being their

supporter.

You should still do things that make you happy, like:

• Hobbies

• Doing things you enjoy

• Doing things that make you feel good

• Taking care of your own needs

• Going out with friends

• Going to the movies

• Reading

• Watching videos that your loved one

may not want to watch with you

• Doing things by yourself

• Going shopping

• Spending time with your own family

• Spending time away from your loved one

• Taking a break from your loved one

• Taking a mini-vacation from your loved one

• Having a job outside the home

Just being around your loved one 24/7 will not help you and your own mental health at all – you may get so caught up in their world of bipolar disorder that you might become as sick as they are! DON’T!

You have a right to your own happiness. Don’t delay that happiness! You really need to keep a life separate from your loved one, for your own sake. You have to hold onto your own happiness! Grab it right now!

Take some time for R and R (rest and relaxation). Even combat soldiers do that! Don’t stress yourself out by giving all your energy to your loved one – save some for yourself as well. Giving all your time and energy to your loved one will make you stressed out and sick. And you don’t want that, do you? DON’T!

Also, don’t try to be your loved one’s therapist. They should have their own therapist. They should be telling their therapist their problems, and not dumping them on you or taking out their problems on you, just because you are there!

Because your loved one has bipolar disorder, they may get depressed and may try to “take you down” with them when they are in that phase of their disorder. They may want to use you as a shoulder to cry on, which might steal your own happiness. Remember, don’t act like their

therapist. DON’T!

Again, you should not be their enabler, either, or that will steal your own happiness as well. You should not be doing things for them that they can do for themselves. So don’t be your loved one’s enabler, or you will be robbing yourself of your own happiness. DON’T!

You deserve a life of your own. You deserve to be happy. You deserve an identity of your own outside your relationship with your loved one with bipolar disorder . Don’t get so caught up in their disorder and their problems that you lose yourself in it/them. DON’T!

Don’t delay your own happiness. Take charge of it beginning right now! Don’t let bipolar disorder steal your happiness! DON’T!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? I hope you’re having a good week.

You know, I got an email from someone saying, “I am a Bipolar Sufferer….” and it bothered me. What she wrote in the email is not important for this message, but the introduction is.

I thought to myself “bipolar sufferer?” Do you have to suffer from bipolar disorder? I asked myself. Does everyone who has it suffer from bipolar disorder?

Then I thought about it.

No, in my opinion, everyone who has bipolar disorder does not necessarily suffer. I know my mom no longer does. Nobody that works for me with bipolar disorder suffers any more. Once you or your loved one reach stability, I believe the “suffering” part is over.

On the other hand, just using the term “sufferer” is probably a misnomer.

In general, we say people are suffering. For example, we may say, “They are “suffering from the flu,” or something as trivial as that (not that the flu is trivial, just when compared to something like bipolar disorder).

So we need to define “suffering.”

One of the ways that Webster’s dictionary defines suffer is: “to submit to or be forced to endure.” Another is: “to endure, death, pain, or distress.” And another: “to be subject to disability or handicap.”

According to these definitions, I can see how someone undiagnosed or newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder might truly suffer. But as they begin to recover, I believe the suffering lessens.

I think it also has to do with your attitude. Like whether you feel that you are in control, or the disorder is in control. For example: How you talk to your loved one with bipolar disorder and how you talk to yourself is really important. Watch the wording you use.

Like this woman in the email. If you think of yourself as a bipolar sufferer or your loved one as suffering from bipolar disorder, doesn’t that make it a very negative thing? Even something that can’t be defeated? Or recovered from? Don’t you think things will be far worse if you think of it in terms of suffering?

A couple of those definitions made it sound like a horrible thing, to suffer. And it is. But do you have to suffer if you have or are dealing with bipolar disorder?

On the other hand, let’s look at the term “recover.”

Webster’s dictionary defines it as: “to get back, to regain…” “to find or identify again…” “to bring back to normal position or condition…” “to save from loss and restore to usefulness.”

Do you see how these definitions are so much more positive? If you concentrate on recovery more than suffering, you will have a much easier time of it.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how are you today? I hope you’re having a good day.

You know, my brother and I couldn’t be any more different. Not just physically, but I think psychologically, too. He looks at things negatively, while I choose to look at things positively.

That’s why I think he couldn’t handle my mom’s bipolar disorder like I (eventually) could. I also think that’s why he has so many more problems than I do.

It’s all in the way you look at things, I think. Like one person may look at something as impossible…While someone else might say, “The impossible just takes a little longer.” One person may look at something as a problem…While the other person looks at it as a challenge.

If you think about it, as the way I’m saying… You have the power of choice. You can choose the way you react to something. You can choose your attitude: You can choose to look at things

in a negative way or in a positive way. It’s your choice. And your choice affects how you look at things.

So let’s look at bipolar disorder. You can say, “My loved one suffers from bipolar disorder.” Or you can say, “My loved one is recovering from bipolar disorder.” Which do you think is the better way of looking at it? Do you see how even your choice of words reflects how you look at something?

If you look at a situation confronting you and call it a problem, that’s looking at it negatively (especially if you don’t have good problem-solving skills). On the other hand, if you look at it

as a challenge to overcome, you are looking at it in a more positive way. And chances are, you will conquer that challenge and even grow from it.

How does your loved one look at things? If they are negative about things, it can keep them sick. At its worst, a negative attitude can even cause them to go into a bipolar depressive episode. Whereas, if they think positively, they can recover from bipolar disorder faster.

They have to have an “I can do it” type of mentality to overcome the challenges of bipolar disorder, and so do you. You cannot defeat something that you don’t believe you can defeat.

But you CAN defeat something if you have it in your mind that you can.

Like the saying, “If you believe it, you can achieve it.”

Do you see the difference? Because the difference is what will determine the outcome.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

What’s new? Hope you are doing well.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews532/

Here are the news headlines:

Genetic Risk of Suicide in Bipolar Disorder
DO> Very, interesting article, take a look.

Selena Gomez Jokes About Bipolar Disorder — Was She Dissing Demi Lovato?
DO> What do you think about this?

Mental Health: Myth and Facts about Medications for Mental Illness
DO> Interesting, take a look.

Student Intern uses Art to Uplift Patients at St. Mary’s Warrick Hospital
DO> Great inspiring article, don’t you think?

For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews532/

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting: http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave