Happiness Despite Bipolar Disorder

Hi,

You know, so much of the material written about bipolar disorder centers around the person with the disorder and their happiness. There really isn’t a lot written about the supporter and their own happiness, is there?

Today’s subject is about how you deserve your own happiness too, and you shouldn’t have to put

it aside just because your loved one has bipolar disorder. DON’T!

You spend a lot of time as a supporter, and one of the problems with when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder is that you can get caught up in your loved one’s struggle with their own management of the disorder and your helping them with it. DON’T!

They may have a problem with their mood swings and their own happiness because of it, but you

should not let this affect your own happiness, as hard as this might be, just because of being their

supporter.

You should still do things that make you happy, like:

• Hobbies

• Doing things you enjoy

• Doing things that make you feel good

• Taking care of your own needs

• Going out with friends

• Going to the movies

• Reading

• Watching videos that your loved one

may not want to watch with you

• Doing things by yourself

• Going shopping

• Spending time with your own family

• Spending time away from your loved one

• Taking a break from your loved one

• Taking a mini-vacation from your loved one

• Having a job outside the home

Just being around your loved one 24/7 will not help you and your own mental health at all – you may get so caught up in their world of bipolar disorder that you might become as sick as they are! DON’T!

You have a right to your own happiness. Don’t delay that happiness! You really need to keep a life separate from your loved one, for your own sake. You have to hold onto your own happiness! Grab it right now!

Take some time for R and R (rest and relaxation). Even combat soldiers do that! Don’t stress yourself out by giving all your energy to your loved one – save some for yourself as well. Giving all your time and energy to your loved one will make you stressed out and sick. And you don’t want that, do you? DON’T!

Also, don’t try to be your loved one’s therapist. They should have their own therapist. They should be telling their therapist their problems, and not dumping them on you or taking out their problems on you, just because you are there!

Because your loved one has bipolar disorder, they may get depressed and may try to “take you down” with them when they are in that phase of their disorder. They may want to use you as a shoulder to cry on, which might steal your own happiness. Remember, don’t act like their

therapist. DON’T!

Again, you should not be their enabler, either, or that will steal your own happiness as well. You should not be doing things for them that they can do for themselves. So don’t be your loved one’s enabler, or you will be robbing yourself of your own happiness. DON’T!

You deserve a life of your own. You deserve to be happy. You deserve an identity of your own outside your relationship with your loved one with bipolar disorder . Don’t get so caught up in their disorder and their problems that you lose yourself in it/them. DON’T!

Don’t delay your own happiness. Take charge of it beginning right now! Don’t let bipolar disorder steal your happiness! DON’T!

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

  1. Myself and my husband both have bipolar and yes I was lucky my brother was my support and I tried to be one for my husband.
    We are both grateful for the information you send it really helps and yes I agree you cannot put it all onto one person and I try my best and seems to be working for me
    Thank you for the information

  2. Dear Dave, I have been reading your newsletter for two and a half years now and you have helped me have a understanding of BP, so I could deal with my boyfriends moods. He will not admit there is a problem and therefor does not seek help. He has been very loving and attentive at times and we get along great and connect on many levels. I have been VERY understanding and patient with him even though he has taken me on an on going roller coaster ride of empty emotions and words that he has failed to back up, he said he was in love with me, asked me to move in with him and after two months of moving in slowly I was there at his home for two days and he had a meltdown and wanted me to leave, he crushed me. He talked me into seeing him again, I do Love him so I gave him another chance and we have been fine, A few weeks ago he asked me to Marry him and again said he was so in love with me, I accepted, again I love him alot. He has melted done on me once more said he only asked me to marry him cause he was lonley and proceeded to be very hurtfull…So we broke up I know I have to stay away, but my hearts broken I miss the guy I feel in love with but I havn’t seen him in awhile, hes been in an episode. He has called me to sweet talk his way in again but for my own sanity I can’t answer the phone and I feel bad for hurting him but he makes light of the pain he has caused me. I asked him to please talk to the doc about his mood swings but he won’t. He is a very difficult man at times but I always see the goodness in him and want him to feel happy and peacefull, I have told him I will be there for him no matter what but he really pushed me out of his life this time. I just needed to vent my friends are tired of the drama and hurt he has caused me, so I feel so alone and also weak for not being able to handle his moods…If any body has any advice for me I welcome it. P.S. The man Im talking about is going to be 60 years old in a week he is having a hard time with his age issue, I am 54. At 60 shouldn”t you know how you feel and what you want? or is the BP a big factor in his commitment issues?

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