Hi, I hope you’re doing well today and having a good day.
Do you know someone who is a “Blamer?” They blame everything going against them for their troubles, and they complain to anyone who will listen.
It’s not comfortable to be around this type of person, is it?
Many people with bipolar disorder and their supporters want to blame someone for their trouble. They blame doctors. They blame the government. They blame hospital staff. They blame their parents. They blame their friends. They blame their boss. They blame their co-workers.
BUT…
Do you know who is really to blame? YOU ARE.
You must take responsibility for yourself and your own problems.
You are NOT a victim! Oh, you can have a victim mentality, but just try to see how far that gets you with your or your loved one’s bipolar disorder.
NOWHERE.
You will still have the same problems tomorrow that you have today.
It is not your family’s responsibility to solve your problems. It is not your friends’ responsibility to solve your problems. It is not your boss’s responsibility to solve your problems. It is YOUR responsibility to solve your problems.
You can’t just go around blaming others, expecting them to do something to help you. Sometimes you have to be your own help.
If you are struggling with bipolar disorder, if you have it, I mean, and you are having problems with it, get some help. Like if your medication isn’t working right, and/or you feel manic or depressed. Call your doctor for help – they won’t automatically “sense” that you need help. You need to reach out and tell someone so they can help you.
If you are a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder, it’s the same thing. You can ask for help, too. But you CANNOT just do NOTHING… And then put the blame on someone else. YOU are responsible for finding solutions to your problems.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
Could you clarify the sentence right before the word
NOWHERE. I do not want you to feel bad I just want clearification as I think your article is very good.
I totally disagree with you here! I believe I am a product of my mothers illness.
I do not blame people for the lack of MY motivation, or how I choose to get help for myself, but on the other hand, since I have NO health insurance, I also put the blame on our health care society.
I can not afford the medicines that were prescribed for me by my former therapist, so every day I have to suffer the consequences.
You might tell me to go out and get a job that offers benefits….well, find one for me, go ahead…there are NO jobs currently where I am living…so to speak…
Because of lack of proper medication, my life is full of stress and pain, I am physically ill and can not afford to go to the emergency room, since I have done that many times, I feel like a fool going back for help.
I am sick and tired of being “sick and tired”….tell me what to do, where to go….there are days that I just really do not feel like or have the energy to go on….mostly every day is like this…TODAY is no exception…
Well, I don’t even feel better now responding here, usually it helps, but not today….
I want to thank you for your emails. I suffer with bipolar and have done a lot of the things, all the things you talk about in your news letters. I’m finding a freedom I never thought possible. I’m making better decisions and am a lot more aware of the signals. Some of your letters are very harsh , but very true thank you dave, I hope to be able to afford your course one day
Hi Joyce – not sure what state you live in, but in Florida/Hillsborough County they have a 211 Help Line. If your state has something similar they may be able to refer you for no cost/low cost pyschiatric medication help. Also, based on the brand of medicine, you could always contact the company for help with obtaining the medications. I belive Astra Zeneca offers help. If this is too hard for you to do, perhaps a friend could run interference for you. You can also contact NAMI to find out where a BP Support Group is meeting. Some of those folks have been around the block enough times to know where to get help. You are in my prayers.
Dear Dave and readers,
My name is Lynn, I’m a ‘real’ alcoholic, and also live w/Bipolar II daily, one day @ a time.
How do I deal w/problems? Pray, journal, read the A.A. program literature, work w/my sponsor, pray some more, practice ‘letting go,’ talk w/friends and peers, pray some more, listen for God’s voice/answers, and practice these ODAAT, over and over. Oh, yeah, and see my Dr. and therapist on as regular a basis as I can, and take my meds RELIGIOUSLY. Again, I ‘don’t do’ blogs, so if you want to communicate w/me, it’s:
sawyer7952@yahoo.com
Thanks for bein’ there for us, Dave. Thanks for letting me share.
Lynn S.
grateful alkie
HI My name is carletta and I live with a husband James(Corky) who is a blamer..He has blamed me for everything that goes WRONG! it is my fault for 40yr.I have married him twice, thought he would change well that has not happen! lol He is yelling at me or the TV all the time. Thank God I have a job as a Greeter at Walmart..
God Bless You Have a Nice Day! carletta Bell
PS Thank You, Your Letters Have really helped me..
THAT’S THE ROOT TO THE BLAME GAME – PEOPLE BLAME BECAUSE THEY FORGET SOMETHING – THEY FORGET THAT THE VERY ONES/THINGS THEY ARE BLAMING WERE NEVER THEIR TRUE SUPPORT SYSTEM — THEY FORGET THEY HAVE A SUPPORT SYSTEM AND NEED TO CHANNEL THIS TO STAY SANE PARTICULARLY WHEN DEALING WITH THOSE WITH ALL SORTS OF DISORDERS –WHEW!!! which is why I’m especially thankful for your article
NEED ONE OF THESE!!!!!! IT’S WHAT YOU WANT! IT’S WHAT YOU NEED!! A FUNCTIONAL SUPPORT SYSTEM
I quoted from your article ‘below”
I’m also going to be talking about all different ages, too, because whether you are diagnosed as a child or adolescent or as an adult or older person, what I’m talking about will still apply to you.
I’m talking about something that is crucial to good recovery from bipolar disorder. Just as importantly, it’s crucial to keeping your sanity in the day-to-day living with the disorder.
I know you probably think I’m being all secretive about this topic and all, but I’m really not. I’m just stressing its importance.
What I’m talking about is the importance of having a good strong support system.
Thank you! Thank You!
I hate to admit it but I’m a blame-game player. Doing nothing very recently has cost me $700. I hate mail so most the time I don’t even look at it unless it interests me. This habit has also cost me dearly. I have blamed my mate for not making me look at it. I know-it is MY RESPONSIBILITY! I’m so glad you went over this topic. It woke me up to how bad I am. This MUST change in my life. I’m sure it would make me much happier & pleased with myself. I’ll work on going through as much mail is possible starting Monday. I’ll set a goal through to Saturday. I’ll have to reward myself when I meet this challenge. Thanks David!