Bipolar Supporter Blog

Hi,

How’s it going?

I just can’t believe the weather.

Just take a look at it these days.

One day it’s nice, and the next day, well…

The sun could be shining…

It could be snowing…

Last week it was icy…

It could be raining…

There could even be thunderstorms…

(especially if you’ve planned to do something outside)

No matter what the weatherman has predicted!

You just can’t predict the weather, can you?

No more than the weatherman can, apparently.

Which brings me to bipolar disorder.

Being a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder, you know what I’m talking about.

You just can’t predict their moods.

They may go on for a long time, even months and months, being in a normal mood…

Then all of a sudden, there’s a mood change.

They might become depressed.

Or they might become extremely (overly) happy.

And either mood out of the blue, for no reason at all.

Not because of anything happening in their lives necessarily, but because of the bipolar disorder.

That’s one of the biggest characteristics of the disorder – the mood swings, and the unpredictability of them.

That’s why I warn you to watch for the signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder in my courses/systems below:

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Even if you know the signs and symptoms of an episode, you still can’t predict your loved one’s moods, any more than you can predict the weather.

And that can be pretty frustrating, can’t it?

So what can you do about it?

Well, you can hope that they wouldn’t change their moods…

But that isn’t realistic, because they do have bipolar disorder after all.

And bipolar disorder comes with mood swings, and your loved one can’t help it.

So you have to expect these changes in mood from time to time.

But you can be prepared for it.

That’s one thing you can do.

Know that your loved one can switch moods at any time.

They have in the past, and they will again.

So be prepared.

Another thing you can do is:

Be consistent.

No matter what mood your loved one is in, it doesn’t have to affect your own mood.

You are not the one with bipolar disorder.

Your mood does not have to change just because your loved one gets depressed or manic.

You can also be knowledgeable.

Learn as much as you can about bipolar mood changes.

There is always new information coming out about bipolar disorder.

Read, research, talk to your loved one’s doctor, talk to other supporters.

You can be patient, too.

You know the saying, “This too shall pass”?

Well, you know that in the past your loved one has changed moods on you.

What did you do then?

You probably just waited it out.

So be patient, and they will probably go back to their normal mood soon.

And the last thing you can do is to make sure you take care of yourself.

Don’t let your loved one’s change of moods affect you.

Make sure you are still taking care of yourself and your own needs.

If you have any other suggestions, I’d love to hear them!

Hi,

Hope you are having a great day.

I have something interesting for you.

I saw a post on my blog from Mona.

She said:

“I have a question, Dave, if that’s
alright. BTW, I do agree with you
on the ‘baby steps’ concept. My
question is this: Can you tell me
what kind of responses might come
from a person with bipolar if they
are trying to repair a relationship
(from a bad episode) and the person
does not want to have anything to
do with them (because of what
happened)? Could that trigger a
suicidal response? (Or some sort
of retaliation?) And if so, how can
a support person help their bipolar
loved one get through such harsh
reality, or how can they help prevent
such a response?”
———————————————

Well, first of all, like I always say, I’m not a doctor, therapist, or any other kind of medical or mental health professional, so I can’t give that kind of advice.

I can only give my opinion, based on my experience.

But I will tell you, this is not the first email I’ve gotten like this.

And Mona does bring up quite a few points.

Many times, a person with bipolar disorder will do things during a bipolar episode (especially during a manic episode) that has consequences to it.

And sometimes these consequences are bad ones, and it’s hard for their supporter to handle them, or even to forgive them for what they did during the episode.

There may have been risky sexual behavior, or even an affair.

There may have been excessive spending, or poor business decisions, that may have affected (or even drained) the family’s finances.

There may have been other things that happened as well that hurt the relationship.

The supporter may have some negative feelings, like hurt, anger, resentment, etc.

Then these things might cause some real damage to the relationship.

Even though the one with bipolar disorder wants to repair the relationship after they come out of the episode, the supporter might be reluctant to accept these attempts.

Communication is one of the things I stress in my courses/systems, because that is really important in the relationship.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

But if the supporter is no longer even willing to communicate with their loved one, then it may cause their loved one to get worse, and they might go into a depression.

One of the symptoms of a depressive episode is suicidal thoughts.

If this happens, it may not be your fault.

After a manic episode, many people with bipolar disorder will “crash” into a bipolar depressive episode and have these kinds of thoughts anyway, because their thinking is distorted.

If this happens, they may have these suicidal thoughts.

It’s part of the depression, part of their bipolar disorder.

You can’t prevent them going into the depression, if it’s part of the crash from their manic episode to a depressive episode.

The only thing you can do to help them at this point is to notice the signs of suicide, and to try to get them the help they need.

At this point, if you want to help them, you will need to put your own feelings of hurt, anger, resentment, and unforgiveness aside.

If they are starting to talk about suicide, you MUST take them seriously, whether they really intend to go through with it or not.

Try to talk to them about it. Or at least try to get them to share their thoughts and feelings.

This is where the communication
I was talking about earlier comes in.

Try to convince them that they need help.

If possible, try to get them to at least call the suicide hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE.

Try to get them to call their doctor, psychiatrist, and/or therapist for help.

The point is, as Mona pointed out, this is a harsh reality that must be dealt with if your loved one’s reaction is one of threatening suicide.

Have you ever had to deal with the type of situation that Mona talked about?

What did you do?

Hi,

If you are having trouble finding a great doctor and/or therapist for you or your loved one’s bipolar disorder, take a look at this great new resource that I have.

It’s titled:

“Here’s How To Find A Doctor, Psychiatrist and/or Therapist For Your Loved One And Get Them To Contact YOU”

Located here:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/findadoctor

This new resource reveals a method that I invented when my mom lost her doctor in 1 day and the hospital provided ZERO referrals of a new doctor.

My dad’s idea was to call into the phone book and after several calls he said, and I will never forget this, “I guess there just aren’t any doctors around here taking any patients.”

At that point, I took over and I invented a system to not only find a doctor, but finding a therapist and I am
not talking about clueless ones but ones that are incredible.

Best of all, if you use my method the doctor and/or therapist will contact you. Great doctors and therapists.

It’s sounds hard to believe but it’s true. It’s funny that everyone laughed at me when I told them about the system but today everyone is grateful that did invent it or my mom would seriously probably be still in a major episode.

Anyway, if you need help OR if you don’t feel good about your current doctor OR therapist, then check out this resource here:

http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/findadoctor

I am going to the gym now.

Catch you tomorrow.

Dave

Hi,

Hope you’re doing ok.

Today I want to concentrate on you, and on tricks to being a better supporter.

You may be thinking you already know what I’m going to say, but then you might learn a new trick or two, also!

If you haven’t already, read everything
you can on bipolar disorder.

You may have done this when your loved one was first diagnosed, but there is always new information coming out on the subject.

There are new books, information on the Internet, articles at the library, etc.

Also, talk to other supporters, because they might have new information as well.

Stay informed, always stay educated!

One thing I teach in my courses/systems is to NOT be an enabler.

Don’t do things for your loved one that they can do for themselves.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Another thing you need to do is make your loved one take responsibility for their own decisions, choices, actions, and the consequences of those actions.

Remember, you are NOT an enabler.

It may not be easy to live with the consequences of what your loved one does during an episode, and it may be hard at first to make them take responsibility for them, but you have to.

You are not responsible for what they do, THEY are!

They are an adult, and so are you.

You have to take care of your own decisions, choices, actions, and the consequences of those actions, don’t you?

Then so should your loved one.

This is especially true when they go into an episode.

There may be financial consequences.

There may even be legal consequences.

But if you rescue them every time, what would make them take responsibility?

If you want to be a good supporter, don’t be an enabler!

They should also be responsible for taking their own bipolar medication.

You shouldn’t have to make them take it, or else they will become too dependent on you.

Also, you should never let your guard down.

If you do, your loved one might get lazy and slip back into their old habits, thinking that nobody is looking.

Like not taking their medication, or not going to appointments.

They might even begin to sleep too much (or too little), or to isolate.

They could begin to stress, or be in stressful situations.

These are all triggers to episodes, so you need to watch for them.

Watch for mood changes as well.

You also need to be on guard for all signs and symptoms of both manic and depressive bipolar episodes.

Don’t ever let your guard down, thinking that your loved one has been stable so long that they will never have another episode, because they will!

And, perhaps, the most important advice of all –

Don’t forget to take care of yourself!

You won’t be any good to your loved one if you’re not good to yourself first.

Many a supporter has been known to suffer burn-out because they spent all their time and energy meeting their loved one’s needs but not their own.

It is NOT selfish to take care of yourself!

Think about it this way:

What would your loved one with bipolar disorder do if something ever happened to you?

It’s not just your loved one who has to get the right amount of sleep, exercise, and eat a healthy diet.

You need to do the same thing.

You also need to do some of the same things I tell people with bipolar disorder to do to maintain
their stability, like:

• Maintain balance
• Stay healthy
• Be productive
• Have a hobby
• Have a social life
• Spend time with family
• Have a good relationship
• Etc.
In other words, take care of yourself, and make sure all your needs are met physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

I hope you’ve learned at least one thing you didn’t know before, so you can be a better supporter!

Do you have any other suggestions or tricks to being a better supporter?

Let me know, and I may use them!

Hi,

I hope you’re doing well today.

Many people ask me what’s the key to success with bipolar disorder?

Well, the key could be taking medication.

And yes, that’s crucial to success.

But is it the key?

And it could be seeing a therapist.

But is that the key?

People with bipolar disorder should have a strong support system.

Well, that’s important, too, but is it the key to success?

What about going to a bipolar support group?

Many people do that, and it helps them to deal with their bipolar disorder, but is it the key to success?

Now, you’re probably going to think I’m crazy (I’m really not : ) when I tell you what the real key to success with bipolar disorder is.

I can tell you this, all people I know who are a success with bipolar disorder had this happen to them.

Can you guess?

Scroll down for the answer….

Keep scrolling…

Do you know what it is?
They all got off to a bad start.

What’s that mean?

Well the biggest successes wound up in a situation where they didn’t do well with bipolar disorder from the start.

Over time they learned things and improved.

They gathered information either through personal experience, from others, books or courses/systems like I have below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But they just didn’t sit back and wait and do nothing, hoping that things would get better.

They tried to do things to help themselves get better, and they made mistakes.

But they didn’t give up.

Then they tried other things to help themselves, and some things worked, but other things didn’t.

Some of them even listened to other people, and tried what worked for those other people (mistake, everyone’s different).

So they made mistakes.

Those who didn’t learn from their mistakes, are still suffering from them.

Those who did learn from them, are now finding success with their bipolar disorder.

But people who are now successful with their bipolar disorder got off to a bad start.

Like not all medications work the first time around.

In fact, most of them don’t.

So you probably have to switch doses, or switch medications, until you find the right one for you.

See what I’m talking about? Bad start.

But those who were willing to stick with it became successful with their bipolar disorder.

Over time, they got better and better.

What about you?

Were you successful from the beginning (lucky you), or did you have a bad start at the beginning like most people with bipolar disorder?

How did you deal with that, and are you successful now?

Hi,

How are you today?

I was talking to my friend Stef the other day. She is a teacher in high school.

She was telling me that there are so many rumors around her school that circulate among the kids.

She says that it starts with one kid telling another kid who tells another kid who tells another kid
who tells another kid.

After a while one story winds up turning into something totally different.

Sounds kind of like the old “telephone game” we played as children, doesn’t it?

I see this happen with bipolar disorder as well.

I see people who heard from someone who heard from someone who heard from someone that a certain medication for bipolar disorder is bad.

I’ve also heard the opposite.

That someone who heard from someone who heard from someone that a certain medication for bipolar disorder
is good.

Well, which is it? Bad or good?

It can be so confusing, can’t it?

If you listen to someone else, instead of your own doctor, who knows what’s best for you,
you might do the wrong thing for yourself and your stability with your bipolar disorder.

I usually hear these things at the support groups I volunteer at.

This person thinks that their medication is the greatest, and that everyone should be on it.

Well, you should be warned about this, because what works for one person doesn’t work for another person, and especially not for EVERY person!

And this person definitely shouldn’t be saying something like that.

And, again, the opposite is true.

Maybe one person had a bad experience with a certain medication.

So that person tells everyone they talk to that this certain medication is bad.

Not just for them, but for EVERYONE!

And that NO ONE should take this medication!

This is one of the things I teach in my courses/systems – that only your doctor is qualified to prescribe your medication, and that you shouldn’t listen to anyone else tell you what is best for you.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

Well, first of all, what this person is doing is wrong.

And second of all, what if this person tells that person, and that person tells another person, and so on and so on?

Pretty soon, what might be a good medication for someone, they’re refusing to take, just because this one person said it’s a bad medication!

You can’t just take one person’s word on a medication.

What works for one person may not work for you.

And what doesn’t work for one person may work great for you!

You just have to check with your own doctor.

Remember that these people are only people with bipolar disorder.

They are NOT doctors!

Have you ever had this experience?

Have you ever heard someone do this?

Have you ever listened, or seen someone else listen?

Tell us about it below.

Hi,

How’s it going?

It’s not going well for me. I actually have strep throat. I had to go to the doctor yesterday.

I feel better today. It took a lot of energy for me to send this out.

This is why I am sending the daily email out so late.

Someone wrote me that I am really, really negative and try to scare people.

They said that with reports and guides like: Bipolar Disorder-The REAL Silent Killer, and
others like it…

Where I tell the shocking truth about this and that related to bipolar disorder…

The x mistakes for this and that…

Deadly this and that…

Anyway, you have seen some of my titles for reports and such.

So someone said that I am negative and trying to scare people.

Well the truth is, I am trying to scare people, if that’s what it takes.

I am trying to get them to take bipolar disorder seriously.

Why?

Well, when I started, I saw so many people who took their own life, went home less, lost EVERYTHING or destroyed their family…

And I came to the conclusion that many people thought that bipolar disorder was no big deal.

My own dad didn’t even think that it was a big deal until I explained that it was…

After my mom finally got diagnosed after over 35 years of struggling with bipolar disorder.

Now that’s a big deal, don’t you think?

And I’ve heard so many stories from people saying the same thing.

Like that they’ve had it all their lives, but weren’t diagnosed until they were older, and everyone missed it, and they suffered all those years when they didn’t have to…

All because no one thought it was any big deal.

Well, if you’re a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder, you KNOW it’s a big deal.

In my courses/systems, I try to show people what a big deal bipolar disorder really is. I try to educate them.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
I think educating people is the best way to help them see what a big deal bipolar disorder really is.

People just don’t understand, in general.

I heard of this one lady, and this is a true story.

She was out shopping with her husband.

Now she has bipolar disorder, but her husband doesn’t – he’s her supporter.

And a lady she knew came up to her and started talking to her about this woman she knew.

She was saying that this other woman was a real “witch,” so “she must have bipolar disorder.”

Yea, she really did say those words (only she didn’t say witch, if you know what I mean).

So this lady who was telling the story turned to her husband and said, “Honey, I’m not like that, am I?”

And her husband said, “No, you’re not like that at all.”

And she turned back to the woman and said, “I’m not like that, and I have bipolar disorder.”

And she said that the woman turned all kinds of shades of red.

See what I mean?

This other woman who was saying all this stuff didn’t think bipolar disorder was any big deal.

She knew nothing about it, or she wouldn’t have said that the woman she was talking about it must have it, just because she was a “witch.”

But the lady who was telling this story used that opportunity to educate the woman about bipolar disorder, showing her that you can meet anyone on the street and they can look and act as “normal” as anyone else and still have the disorder.

Have you ever had an experience like this?

PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Hi ,

How are you?

I am not well. I have a really, really, really bad sore throat.

I have to get going so let me get you the news.

To read this week’s news visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews432/default.shtml

Mental Illness And The Law
DO> What do you think of this?

A Walk And Story Of Hope
DO> great article.

True To His Form
DO> Another great article.

Briton To Appeal Death Sentence
DO> What do you think of this?
For these stories and more, please visit:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews432/default.shtml

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

Check out all my resources, programs and information for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

How’s it going?

Everybody has problems.

Some people see their problems as big ones, and some see them as small ones.

Some people see problems as an everyday thing we just need to deal with.

I heard a negative person say that problems are “a reality that ruins my day.”

Yet a positive person said, “Problems are opportunities in disguise.”

Some people just complain about their problems, while other people do something about their problems.

The point is, we all have problems.

We just differ in the way we approach them and in the way we solve them.

Like take bipolar disorder, for example.

People with the disorder tell me their biggest problem is not with taking their medications.

It’s not with going to all their appointments.

It’s not with sleeping right, exercising, or eating a healthy diet.

It’s not even with dealing with the stigma associated with bipolar disorder.

The biggest problem that people with bipolar disorder tell me that they have is coping with having
the disorder itself.

Sometimes it feels like the disorder has taken over their whole lives.

Even when they’re not in an episode they live in fear of when the next episode is going to come.

In my courses/systems, I talk about this, but I also say that if you’re prepared for it in advance, you don’t have to live with this fear.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net

But I asked some people to give me suggestions on creative ways to cope with bipolar disorder, and here are a few suggestions:

1. Have a pet
A dog or cat gives you unconditional
love. even just petting them can
soothe your nerves when you feel
stressed out. And they’re always
so happy to see you when you get
home (whether you’ve been gone
5 days or only 5 minutes!). How
can you be depressed when you’ve
got a pet?

2. Crossword Puzzles
Doing Crossword Puzzles or
Word Find Puzzles help you to
focus and keep those distracting
thoughts to a minimum. You also
feel a sense of accomplishment
when you’ve finished one. It’s
best to do the easy ones (at least
at first) so you don’t feel
overwhelmed or get too
frustrated, which would be
defeating the purpose. Be
careful, though, because these
can be addicting!

3. Coloring
I know this sounds like “baby
stuff” and yes, this is the same
coloring we did as kids, but many
people with bipolar disorder
have found coloring to be very
therapeutic. It keeps stress
levels to a minimum, helps you
focus and concentrate, and brings
out your creativity at the same
time.

4. Doing Puzzles
This is very good for focus and
concentration for people with
racing thoughts. You may want
to start with a fewer piece puzzle
at first, however, so that you don’t
get frustrated or overwhelmed.
Remember to work the outside
pieces first (and the corners)!

5. Music or Art
If you have talent in either of
these two areas (or even if
you don’t!), many people have
found it to be helpful to them
to do this – if for nothing else
than just to keep their fingers
busy. Some people find that
just listening to some quiet
music to be soothing and
calm their stress as well.
These are just some suggestions to help with coping with bipolar disorder.

Can you think of some more?

What are some creative things that you do to cope?

I’d love to hear them.

Hi,

How are you doing today?

These days when you turn on the news or read the paper there is a lot of negatively.

I personally don’t read the news, watch the news look at news websites.

I very carefully guard my mindset.

When I go to the gym I have trained myself never to look at TVs that might have news on them.

I quickly stop talking to people who have doom or gloom to tell me.

When you are dealing with bipolar disorder, I advise you to do the same AND also to avoid people who are negative about your bipolar disorder or your loved one’s bipolar disorder.

You need to be positive. You need to be aware and prepare for anything negative but focus on the positive and not be saturated with negative information.

It all has to do with your mindset.

Like in my courses.

I talk about being negative vs. being positive, and how much that has to do with whether you get better or not, if you have bipolar disorder.

And, if you’re a supporter, being negative or being positive has a lot to do with how good a supporter you are.

SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11

SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com

HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But, again, it has to do with your mindset.

I think you can choose to be negative or positive.

And I think a lot of that has to do with what you surround yourself with.

For example, if you have a job where everyone there has a negative attitude, you’re going to have a negative attitude, too.

And you’re probably not going to like that job very much, either.

And if they gossip, you might even be pulled into that.

On the other hand, if everyone there has a positive attitude, the opposite is going to happen.

The atmosphere at work will be a more positive one, everyone will have a better attitude, and working conditions will be better all around.

Now, that kind of job you’ll be happy to go to, because your own attitude will be a more positive one. Your mindset will be better.

Another example is, take me.

I work out a lot in the gym.

There’s a lot of negative attitudes there.

There’s some guys who believe that they won’t get the bodies they want.

That’s their negative attitude coming out.

That’s their negative mindset (I think it’s because they won’t do the work, which makes them even more negative about working out).

Where I’m just the opposite, because I have a positive mindset.

I believe that if I stay focused, ignore those negative people around me, and keep a positive mindset, I will get the body I want if I do the things I need to do to get it.

Ok, let’s look at how your mindset affects bipolar disorder again, with that example in mind.

If you believe that your or your loved one’s bipolar disorder is never going to get better, you are going to have a negative attitude.

Then, say you go to your support group, and they think their or their loved one’s bipolar disorder is never going to get better.

Now you’re surrounding yourself with other negative people. So now you have a negative
mindset.

So do you think you or your loved one are going to get better?

On the other hand, if you or your loved one have a positive attitude and surround yourself with positive people…

You will have a positive mindset…

And, guess what?

You or your loved one will get better!

See? It all has to do with your mindset.

But, like me and my working out, you also have to be willing to do what it takes to get there as well.

But you can do it with a positive mindset!

What do you think?

Have you been in the situation where you have been surrounded by negative people?

How has that affected you?