Hi,
How’s it going?
I just can’t believe the weather.
Just take a look at it these days.
One day it’s nice, and the next day, well…
The sun could be shining…
It could be snowing…
Last week it was icy…
It could be raining…
There could even be thunderstorms…
(especially if you’ve planned to do something outside)
No matter what the weatherman has predicted!
You just can’t predict the weather, can you?
No more than the weatherman can, apparently.
Which brings me to bipolar disorder.
Being a supporter to a loved one with bipolar disorder, you know what I’m talking about.
You just can’t predict their moods.
They may go on for a long time, even months and months, being in a normal mood…
Then all of a sudden, there’s a mood change.
They might become depressed.
Or they might become extremely (overly) happy.
And either mood out of the blue, for no reason at all.
Not because of anything happening in their lives necessarily, but because of the bipolar disorder.
That’s one of the biggest characteristics of the disorder – the mood swings, and the unpredictability of them.
That’s why I warn you to watch for the signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder in my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Even if you know the signs and symptoms of an episode, you still can’t predict your loved one’s moods, any more than you can predict the weather.
And that can be pretty frustrating, can’t it?
So what can you do about it?
Well, you can hope that they wouldn’t change their moods…
But that isn’t realistic, because they do have bipolar disorder after all.
And bipolar disorder comes with mood swings, and your loved one can’t help it.
So you have to expect these changes in mood from time to time.
But you can be prepared for it.
That’s one thing you can do.
Know that your loved one can switch moods at any time.
They have in the past, and they will again.
So be prepared.
Another thing you can do is:
Be consistent.
No matter what mood your loved one is in, it doesn’t have to affect your own mood.
You are not the one with bipolar disorder.
Your mood does not have to change just because your loved one gets depressed or manic.
You can also be knowledgeable.
Learn as much as you can about bipolar mood changes.
There is always new information coming out about bipolar disorder.
Read, research, talk to your loved one’s doctor, talk to other supporters.
You can be patient, too.
You know the saying, “This too shall pass”?
Well, you know that in the past your loved one has changed moods on you.
What did you do then?
You probably just waited it out.
So be patient, and they will probably go back to their normal mood soon.
And the last thing you can do is to make sure you take care of yourself.
Don’t let your loved one’s change of moods affect you.
Make sure you are still taking care of yourself and your own needs.
If you have any other suggestions, I’d love to hear them!
Post responses below
Hi Dave,
Your article was very informative. But, what do you do when both you and your spouse are bipolar? My husband is BP1 and I am BP2 with major depression. Sometimes our moods clash at the same time. Any advice on how to handle those situations? My husband refuses to take any meds because of the side effects. He has been mostly normal for the past three years. I, on the other hand, faithfully take my meds, see my psych doc and therapist. But, when I am having a depressive episode he doesn’t seem to understand it and wants me to go on just like I had no bp at all. Suggestions?
Good Morning David. I read your blog, sometimes I learn something new. I know you are a supporter of your Mom. I have bi-polar disorder, but that is not who I am. I am a human being that needs to take medication to support my well-being. I am so tired of everything that goes wrong for people in my life to try to lay all the blame on me or my “illness”. If I have a shift in my mood, they throw me out in the streets to fend for myself. That is real strong incentive to maintain an even mood, or at least display an even mood. If I speak before I am spoken to, I am out of here. If I clean their filthy house, the wrath of God descends upon me. They all like it best when I am so low I am absent from myself. I cannot bear to live like that anymore. So now I am a prisoner in my cell. I wish I could afford to get my own place and start over again. Talk about mood swings. I have to walk around on egg shells around my sister. She can switch her moods so fast I get whip lash. She can scream and yell, break things, throw things, get red in the face. She is normal. If I did any of that, the law would be here with a straight jacket. I have never even in my most manic state acted like that! I am so weary of the predjidice and bigotry I must live with. If I do not tell people I am bi-polar, when they find out they are mad, offended, then they look through me like I am not there. I have no intellect, no skills, no trustworthiness. It is time to move on, or submit to being treated like the village idiot. I cannot even remember what I wanted to say, but perhaps if you supporters could try to treat your loved one with respect, concern, but do not belittle them by acting like they are incapable of doing anything. If they became manic through no fault of their own and they act out in a predictable manner, forgive them and move on, do not beat them over the head about it for the rest of their lives. That is not being a supporter, that is cruel and insensitive on your part. No one is perfect! Just because you were not blessed with this thing, this mental illness, this chemical imbalance does not make you better than the one who has it! There but the Grace of God go you. Try to remember that. It could still happen to you. Treat them as you would want to be treated if it were you. Bless you all in your journey through life with its ups and downs. Lean on the only one who can truly be understanding and supportive of you all the time. He never changes, judges or condemns. We all need to strive to be more like Jesus.
Dave,
Please help me to understand what you mean by “waiting it out.” Every time my boyfriend has a change in mood — either way — he LEAVES me! Every time. He once left me twice in a one-month period. And it’s always a dramatic, stress-filled leaving. After which, of course, I’m left alone to deal with all the household chores, bills, etc.
Is this normal? How do you “wait out” something like this? I need someone who’s at least going to be AROUND!!!!
Hi dave. My name is billy. I just started reading your emails. And I must say they are seriously scaring me. U seem to know more about me than I do. I’m 32 and I am bipolar type 1 with agoraphobia. So needless to say my life is difficult to bear. I never get overly happy ever I just get extremely depressed. I hate the suicidal thoughts. I’ve been fighting them everyday for years. Even right now I sit here all cut up wondering why I should bother to carry on another day. Life sucks man. I’ve felt this way all my life. and yes I’m a cutter also. I have lost the only friends I had left recently so I guess I’m preparing to hate myself even more if possible. But anyway I will continue to read your emails. I may just learn something new about myself. U seem to know a lot about what’s going through my head. Thankx man. Take care.
If you live in Mass or anywhere near it I highly recommend going to the MDDA meetings held every wed. nite from 7pm until 9pm at Mclean Hospital in Belmont, MA. It is a very large meeting with subdivided groups for people with Bi-polar and depression, Families and friends of people with the condition, Partners (new), etc. It’s free and is and excellent source of support. I went back last night for the first time in years and found it to be very informative and encouraging.
Very important: Remember April and October are the months with the highest rates of suicide for people with Bi-polar and depression.
In reality Dave, How do you not let it affect you? I just can not get a grip on that one. Especially when it is a destructive mood. One that accuses, calls names, brings up any bad past experiences (no matter how many years it has been. Always, everything is the supporters fault, in one of these swings…Please tell me how do you not let it affect you? This is someone you love deeply. Someone you have supported, stood up for, laid out boundries, tried to stay calm :(:(..and wait..wait on it to pass..It, as you well know, can be so destructive and fictional..To get through it on both parts is an accomplishment ..but to not affect your mood, or your life, I feel is just not possible…By the way thanks so much for all you do..Just cannot tell you in words how helpful and encouraging your emails are. It is a reminder that this is a disease other people live with…there are others out there with the same mountains to climb over. And there is always HOPE>>>Thanks again
Just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate your daily emails. My boyfriend has the bipolar disorder and it has been challenging learning how do deal with his constant mood swings. I feel like you are my constant cheerleader reminding me to be be patient and hopeful. I certainly need that encouragement. Thank you.
Have you had much experience with people who because of their bipolar disorder cannot see the illness in themselves? Apparently 40 percent of people with bipolar are like this. My mother-in-law has been hospitalized against her will with manic psychosis 4 times and she really cannot understand why, even when she has “leveled out”. It is so frustrating because we can’t get her to get help when she can’t see any reason for needing help…
Excellent advise here Dave. Yes it is very important to take care of your own needs and not get caught up in your bipolar loves ones illness.
My husband is bipolar and it was getting me really down lately never knowing what will set him off or what mood he will be in next, but some how I snapped back to normal for me which is usually very happy and I will do my best to maintain that.
So to anyone reading this I agree with Dave try real hard to not follow your love one into the black hole of depression and mood swings. It will not help them or yourself. Be kind to yourself.
Dave,
I have to agree with the writer who asks how do you not let it effect you. He is in a real bad swing right now, and the distrust is starting to creep back in. He is just so mad and upset all the time. He was yelling at the TV about something that was absolutely ridiculous. Then there is the sex part of this whole mess. I sometimes feel like I am supposed to be his drug of choice. It doesn’t feel intimate because he says he needs it…It makes him feel better. What do I say to that? And now he is drinking again. And not just a little bit, but just about every night. He won’t listen when I tell him that it is effecting him. He tells me it doesn’t effect him. So, i just walk away. I don’t want to argue over it. He doesn’t go to counseling anymore, we can’t afford the dr bills. I am at a loss….Anyway, thank you for the work that you put into your emails.
Honestly I think David means well but in reality to say you don’t have to let their moods affect you sounds like someone who really has no idea what it is really like yet he says he lived with it. Maybe if the one you support is a spouse vs. parent etc. it can make all the difference in the world. I mean once you are an adult how many of us look to our parents for our source of love? We have usually moved on to families of our own. The complications of this disorder when you share a life with a bipolar can certainly be different situation when there are children to raise etc. So having said that I do believe that sometimes David is well meaning but he can’t grasp the aspect of being married to a bipolar it has it’s differences for sure. I would easily be able to brush off a mothers or fathers or sisters mood, I wouldn’t be living with them.
Dear Dave,
Great advice Dave. the one thing I hang onto when my daughter goes through a mood swing is – this is her mood swing not mine( no matter how much she tells me that its my fault or Im the one with the mood swing – the one thing that I try to do is be logical ( as apposed to being subjective and emotional) for instance , if Rachel is stating that it ( her present mood swing) is all my fault I reflect back to her the current situation or scenario as accurately and clearly and simply as possible without exaggeration: if I have contributed to the present scene I clearily state what action I have done and apologise ( it could be I had made a value judgement on her mood or used an outlawed word like nutter or crazy in conversation with her or lost my temper) and if I haven’t contributed to her present state I will clearily emphasise that as well.
My intention all through each swing is to help my daughter regain her equalibrium as soon as possible by my reflecting accurately what is happening to her- for her to take responsibility for it and make her own plans and solutions with her mental health team and then we both wait because any tweeking of medication will take at least 10 to 14 days to show any outward effect. I must admit I have only been able to do this because my daughter and I have worked hard on establishing a very high level of trust and honesty between us.
the one thing I have found interesting ( since Rachel moved home ) is this , my daughter can spot any tension any mood alteration in me or other people around her no matter how subconscious or quiet that mood is and sometimes she gets muddled and thinks its all because of her or it is her mood swing, I inform my daughter if I think my present mood will affect her and the circumstances surrounding it emphasising that its not her fault.
I love my daughter she has been home for 4 weeks
regards
Shona
To BILLY: I’m sorry you console yourself with cutting and have suicidal thoughts. Have you been to a doctor – either a GP or a psychiatrist – and discussed your mood swings? I highly recommend it. The medication(s) s/he will put you on, will take away the “need” to cut, and alleviate some of the suicida ideation. Of course, there will be side effects – but scars on your arms and/or legs are side effects, too. I hope you get into treatment SOON, so that the rest of your life can be a healthy one.
To SHONA: I’m sooo glad Rachel is home and is improving!! You sound like such a compassionate supporter for her, and she’s lucky to have you. Just keep doin’ those things you do for her – and you all will be fine.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
I would just like to say that I agree 100%.My husband has been struggling for quite some time , he is on meds. and goes to his therapist appts.But still struggles I can say that its alot now that hes been on meds and going to the therapist on a consistent basis (now for a year).He has had a total of 4 episodes within the year.Last year we went a total of 8 mths. without speaking to each other and still living together it was very hard dealing with.We have 3 kids by seperate marriages and is challenging enough in it self and his son which is now 11 shows all the symptoms the same as his dad with his mother refusing to put him on any meds which is also a struggle.But I have worked out some of the querks through this time.We both agreed to having sep. checking accounts with the bills coming out of his and extras coming from mine of course it was made to believe it was his idea which has helped tremendously.By doing so I have all control of the money and he gets limited cash for the things he needs, he has no access to my account so in the past I have been able to keep from any accounts going into the neg., have paid off all but 2 credit cards and both veh. will be paid off ny the end of this year.W e have put him a building with insulation, heat , air , work out equipment ,couch and tv outside so that when he goes through his episodes he can go out there and cool off no matter how long it takes.That away the kids and I can still be our normal self without feeling like we’re on eggshells.Have not giving that enough time to see how that works but it was the next step to trying to find a way that we can stay together and I can still support him the best I can.I am still working on myself.Normally I get depressed and constantly sit back and wonder how long its gonna take him to come out of his episode but with time I believe I can get passed that.For everyone reading this I wish the best of luck for you.Thanx Dave for your daily emails I have learned how to be more patient and have a more positive outlook on things.
This is the best possible comparison. In Ireland the weather is rapid cycling bipolar. Last week it was cold and miserable, this week we’re having a heat wave. The weather always affects people’s moods – bipolar or not. Sunshine cheers most of us up and too much sun can make some of us crazy. My boyfriend is still in a “down” mood though a bit better than last week. I’m sure the nice weather helps him. If it suddenly turned cold and nasty again he could be thrown back into his depression. He went into this episode very quickly and he could be coming out of it just as suddenly.
I just found out six weeks ago my husband is bi-polar 1. I had to have him committed against his will and he was going to leave me and our children for some other woman he met on the internet. With Gods help I went through the whole process. It was horrible, but in the end he chose to stick with me and asked if he could come home. I don’t know how much of his feelings are true and which is the bi-polar. He is glad for my help. I am seeing a therapist and she is a great help. I pray every day for a sign that I am doing the right thing but would he be better off with her, or should I try and keep him? I don’t want to be told he is leaving me for her when he is going through an episode, which from what I’ve read so far is going to happen. The thought scares me and I hope it was nothing like the first one. I have never been so scared in all of my life. The medication seems to be helping although it makes him very tired and it HAS only been six weeks. He loves his children dearly and has been a really great father, but what I am reading scares the hell out of me. I am learning all I can to be a good supporter and not an enabler. I love my husband and am a devout Catholic. So I guess it is for in sickness and in health……
When your boyfriend left you twice in one month check to see if that was a month there were two full moons!
The weather being cloudy during a full moon is a plus to keep some of the behavior under control!
We all live with ups and downs and good days and bad but we don’t go hurting people with our bad judgment just because we are so frustrated and manic or depressed. And when it happens over and over and over and yet nothing changes with the behavior because they simply can’t be held accountable for how they act or the disease they have, that is intolerable. There are medications to help, all they have to do is swallow them each day and be willing to treat the problem behavior. The sad part is the kids who model the bad behavior because that is what they have seen or they know from watching an adult around them act so out of control. Does the weather on TV affect people too? My special BP person can be watching TV and get into an episode of angry manic behavior like a flash, or fall asleep and wake up from a 15 minute nap and be in a different mood. . .it is very unpredictable and I realize rain gives people the blues but so does putting up with unpredictable chaos and violence. So yes, I can understand how very difficult it is to walk in the moccasins of someone that has bipolar, or at least try, but I really wish they could also read these posts and KNOW what it is like for the rest of the family but oftentimes with mania or depression they are too shallow and self absorbed to care about anyone else – thus the label narcissism. My kids and I have been seriously depressed over having to deal with abuse and nastiness and meanness, all in the name of a bipolar parent who can’t help it. And quite probably enjoys the years he has made us all “walk on eggshells”.
Just to say thank you so much for all your letters Dave,you are spot on with your sound advice,I am supporting my husband who has bipolar,and its not easy,infact its a nightmare,I hope the sunshines for you always, thank you x
I have a question in response to the kinds of comments I have read here.
There are exceptions, but in the majority of the posts are themed with anxiety, loss, anger, and even, ocassionally, disgust. These, I notice, are common reactions to loved ones who have bipolar disorder.
While I have never been known to lack empathy for people who are suffering and struggling, the almost uniformly distasteful reaction to the behavior of loved ones with bipolar disorder leaves me puzzled.
That is not to say that I do not understand why you feel as you do. What I would like to hear more about is what you would like to see instead.
In general, of course you would like to see your loved one maintain a more stable mood. Since that is not realistic, another wish would be that you could predict that person’s mood changes.
Given the fact that, regardless of what any of us might wish for, there are times when a person with bipolar disorder will have obvious symptoms of bipolar disorder.
I assume at this point that all of us have enough knowledge and experience with bipolar disorder to understand that a person affected by it does not “turn on you.”
Someone who acts as if they want to help you change a tire, then steals your wallet when you’re not looking “turns on you.”
To characterize having an abrupt mood change as “turning on” a loved one is no more logical than accusing a person with diabetes of “turning on you” when they pass out in public because their blood sugar level has dropped abruptly.
I do not think it is anyone’s deliberate intention to blame a loved one who displays the expected symptoms of a disorder we understand to be an illness for having mood swings. However, language matters.
If someone tells me I’ve “turned on them,” I immediately wonder if I might have done something to betray them. It connotes guilt.
But again, I read many comments, and I wonder what a better scenerio might look like to you. If you are a supporter, what would you like to see happen? How would you know if things were just a little bit better than they are today?
In the event that your loved one does become very symptomatic, what would you prefer that they do? How would you know that during the present episode, things went just slightly better than they did the last time both you and your loved one went through this?
Would it be better for you if your loved one did leave for a while, until he or she got her symptoms under control? Or would you rather they stay with you? Do you worry less if they are nearby? Are you so overwhelmed by household responsibilities that it would be better for you if they stayed?
What I’m looking for is some idea of what is, for you and your loved one, an improvement over the present situation. It sounds like we can identify signs that things are getting worse. This is a useful ability.
In the same way, I’m wondering what it is that allows everyone involved to feel like they have a sense of control and an idea of how to 1) reduce the degree of their suffering, and 2) to introduce some hope into a very trying situation.
I think this is vitally important. If there is no vision of what “improvement” is for you personally, and for your loved one, personally, then it’s difficult to see much beyond the present circumstances.
Even if it only involves a very small step – something that makes the way we think about the situation (both people, not only the supporter) then we have something to compare with those things that are so distressing.
I’m asking – do you believe there is a way everyone–everyone, gets some relief from their current distress?
It’s worth considering. And when you think of what might make things better for you (both of you), then talk about it.
Because at this point, I honestly don’t know what supporters are hoping for. Have you thought about what you hope for? And is there a way that your loved one could not only survive a very tough time, but come out of it feeling like a success, rather than a burden to you?
Family Member,
I am sorry you are in such agony because you are dealing with the effects of bipolar disorder in your loved one.
It is important to me that the discussions here are tempered with a variety of experiences with the illness, whether we, or someone we love, has bipolar disorder.
I wholeheartedly believe that your experience has been, and is, as awful as you write that it is. That is reason number one why I want to contribute something that inspires you to hope for something better, and to become aware that all people affected with this condition behave as you describe your loved one’s behavior.
There are many people, myself included who both 1) have bipolar disorder, 2) intermitently experience intense symptoms that cause us significant pain, and disrupt our daily lives, and 3) like you, and others who do not have bipolar disorder, do NOT abuse our loved ones, do not break laws or disrupt the peace of our families, and in general take responsibility for our actions.
I realize you might disbelieve my claims that I, although I have bipolar disorder, can and do cope with stress, and even acute episodes without imposing unnecessary pain upon others. This is a self-report, and you probably don’t trust anything someone with bipolar says, because you suppose I am deluded, deceitful, or otherwise manipulative.
On that score, I hope you are generous enough to consider the fact that I, and, at the very least, some other people who live well with this condition, can and do live a different sort of life, not because of, but in spite of the disorder.
To me, the greatest evidence (from outside of myself) that I do not let bipolar disorder push me into actions and situations I would not be proud of, is that about 80% of the people who know me well, work with me, are my neighbors, are my friends, or even, in some cases, are my family members, do not even know I have bipolar disorder.
I have symptoms. Sometimes I have intense symptoms that are very distressing, tiring, frustrating, and extremely difficult to manage. But many of the people I spend a fair amount of time with cannot even guess that I have bipolar disorder. (I have chosen, in specific situations, to disclose, but I am selective based upon my personal boundaries).
I have never had a significant, negative incident occur which I could identify as influenced by symptoms of bipolar disorder. I say “significant.” I mean that I have never been accused of verbally, physically, or otherwise abusing anyone when I was ill. I have never been sanctioned at work due to any destructive behavior.
I completed four years of college, lived with a number of different roommates, and graduated with honors, while I never underwent disciplinary action for any action at any time, for any reason. Within those four years, I can assure you that I experienced very painful and difficult symptoms, at times. But I did not take it out on my roommates, I did not self-injure, I was not violent to anyone, I did not destroy any property, and I continued, come hell or high water, with my studies.
Again, if it is hard for you to believe any person who has bipolar disorder, these things I am sharing are verifiable simply by my looking at academic records, work performance, and by my peaceful, positive relationships with family and friends (who reflect this to me, so that I know it’s not “in my head,” or in some way a self-serving mistruth.
This is not to say that I do not make mistakes. Of course I do. I have had arguments with family, neighbors, or even friends—sometimes. But those arguments are not screaming fests, attempts at intimidation, or some foundation I lay in order to force anyone to tiptoe around me. It is human to disagree, regardless of whether or not I have bipolar disorder. And as for arguments, it takes two–and as long as they remain civil, I do not see them as an unforgivable sin on the part of either person.
I overspend, but I don’t max out credit cards. I don’t make huge, irresponsible purchases I cannot afford. I keep a running budget each month, and my idea of overspending is having a $15 meal I hadn’t planned on ahead of time. Or, after buying a CD on Ebay for a friend’s birthday, getting a second one for myself, again, IF I have not allowed for that in my budget. And because I have to be responsible for myself and my finances (just as you, or any other person who does not have bipolar disorder must), I keep tabs on these extra expenditures so I don’t nickle and dime my income away.
And, I am absolutely mortified if I think someone who does know I have bipolar disorder is patronizing me or letting me slide–not giving me a chance to stand up to my mistakes, to show remorse, and to pay the same consequences you would as a person who is not known to have this condition.
I take my medications without needing to think about doing it. I take them like I drink water, like I brush my teeth, or take a shower. I do this because I am taking medications which I know help me tremendously, and I would never volunteer for the kind of misery I experienced in the past, before they were available.
Family member, I do not mean for this to be a report on how great I am. It is a report on how well I am doing. My message is that other people, including your loved one, can, and probably will, DO as well as I am at some point. This, I hope and pray, gives you something to believe in as a possibility.
And finally, PLEASE let me stress again, that I DO, 100% believe people who have bipolar are 100% responsible for anything and everything they do, regardless of whether their symptoms played a role.
I’m sorry to hear you say you do not feel that your loved one can be held responsible for what he or she does. This is a matter of opinion, it is not an iron-clad medically-based feature of the illness. I think you leave yourself helpless to be a victim of your loved one’s actions unless you at least begin to think of him as a responsible adult, his symptoms notwithstanding.
It is also sad that you believe your son’s character is defective–at least in the sense that you see him as narccisistic, self-centered, lacking in empathy for you, and manipulative/sadistic in watching you tiptoe arund him.
But the good news is that bipolar disorder is NOT a personality disorder. It is a mood disorder. If he had a narcissitic personality disorder, he would have a MUCH MUCH harder time gaining insight into this weakness, and in fact the odds would be against significant personal growth in that respect.
Likewise, it does not sound as if he has been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, which would indicate a fundamental flaw in his character. Again, this would be entrenched, and he would be very hard-pressed to make significant change.
So, these extremely destructive and hurtful behaviors are, instead manifestations of his mood disorder. PLEASE see above, and be assured, I am NOT suggesting bipolar symptoms excuse any behavior that hurts you, him, or another person.
But I am saying–how much more hope and potential for change there is because you know these behaviors are symptoms of a mood disorder, which can and will be treated by medications and therapy!!!
He’s out of control. He’s responsible for that. But he’s not mean, hateful, abusive, or irresponsible because there is something wrong with his personality. He is out of control because his moods are out of control. That can be addressed!!! And that is why it is not EVERYONE who has bipolar disorder behaves as he is for this moment in the present.
The “theys,” the “bipolars” you refer to are not all alike, “we” are not all in the same place, “we” have been able to progress, many of us to the point where you wouldn’t ever know “us” from “them,” or “us” from “you!!”
Best of luck to you and your loved one, Family Member. Please do know that I hear you. I want to share the hope I have, not to negate your pain, or that of your loved one.
I wish for you the peace I have, and the ability to restore it when things get out of kilter, for either you or your loved one…