=>PLEASE FORWARD TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LOVED ONES <= Hi, How's it going today? Hey I am going hiking this morning so I have to go really quick, okay? Anyway, I heard the saddest story about bipolar disorder the other day. This girl had bipolar disorder, and she went off her medication. She was stable on her medication, and was even going to see her therapist and psychiatrist regularly. She was ok for awhile, but then she started to get unstable, and then went into an episode. Then she committed suicide. The thing is, it's not that I'm immune to hearing stories like this – I'm not, I still feel sad every time I hear one – it's just that I hear so many of these stories, and I'm not surprised, because I know that 1 in 5 people who go off their medications are probably going to kill themselves. But anyway, about this girl. When they talked to her friends and family, and asked them why she killed herself, they said that she had been telling them that she was feeling very overwhelmed by everything lately. So that made me start thinking about something I want to talk to you about today. Feeling overwhelmed. Whether you have bipolar disorder or not, you can still feel overwhelmed sometimes. But there are things you can do about it. I know this may sound corny or over-used, but take things One Day at a Time. That's one of the things I talk about in my courses/systems as part of managing bipolar disorder. You take things as they come – you don't dwell on the past, and you don't worry about the future. You just deal with today. NEW LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER? http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/bipolarmastersystem/
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Many people can’t handle more than just
this one day (many people choose not to). Some
people can’t even handle that, and have to do it
one hour at a time (or one moment at a time).
And that’s ok, too. You can build from there.
With bipolar disorder, I call it:
One Bipolar Step at a Time
I got the idea from this movie I watched
once with Bill Murray in it called “What
About Bob?” where Richard Dreyfuss
played this psychiatrist who was treating
Bill Murray for these really big fears about
everything.
I mean, this guy was afraid to get out of
the elevator and walk into his office!
He was so overwhelmed by everything.
So the whole idea of the movie was this
concept called “Baby Steps.” He taught
him how to do everything one step at a
time, or by doing everything in baby steps,
and building up from there.
And eventually Bill Murray’s character
was able to overcome his fears and not
be so overwhelmed by everything anymore.
It was a funny movie, but you could take
a lesson from it.
So…
One Bipolar Step at a Time
The idea is not to do too much, or you’ll
be overwhelmed.
For example, say you’re keeping a To-Do
List as part of how you’re staying productive.
If you have too many things on that list,
and you don’t get them all done today, that
might overwhelm you.
Instead, make a smaller list, and you won’t
feel so overwhelmed. In fact, by completing
the things on your list, you’ll feel a sense of
accomplishment at the end of the day.
Then, in steps, as you can, you can add
more things to your list.
Another example would be if you wanted
to go back to work (first of all, I would
advise not doing this without your doctor’s
okay).
In order not to be overwhelmed, start with
a small, part-time job with just a few hours
a week. Don’t try to tackle a full-time job
right away. It may be more than you can
handle, and do you more harm than good.
If being productive is what you’re worried
about, set a long-term goal, and then your
One Bipolar One Step at a Time would
consist of the short-term goals you would
set and take to reach that long-term goal.
You can do the same thing with projects.
You would decide on a big project you want
to do, then do it a little bit at a time, like
the long-term and short-term goal idea.
If you’re wanting to learn how to take on
more responsibility as part of managing
your bipolar disorder, then start with smaller
responsibilities (One Bipolar Step at a Time),
so you don’t get too overwhelmed, and then
build to larger responsibilities.
If you’re in a bipolar support group, you don’t
start with running the group right away,
you start with setting up the coffee, see what
I mean?
Now, here’s my biggest point with the One
Bipolar Step at a Time idea:
If you’ve been in an episode, and now find that
you have consequences to pay as a result of
things you did while you were in that episode,
you might be feeling very overwhelmed by it.
Take it One Bipolar Step at a Time.
This is very important to your stability.
If you have people to ask forgiveness from and
relationships to repair, take it one person at a time.
If there are consequences to pay (like paying
traffic tickets, for example), do them one at a time.
Do not let yourself get overwhelmed.
What do you think of this idea?
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
===>> Great Resources For You <=== Get Your Own Subscription To This Newsletter Want your own copy of these daily bipolar emails sent to you for F.ree? If so, visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/register3
Get More Help On Bipolar Disorder
Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each
one is designed to help you with a different
area of bipolar disorder whether you have it or
you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentralcatalog.com
View Past Daily Bipolar Emails For F.REE
Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
Get Audio Information On Bipolar Disorder For F.REE
Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
Post responses below.
HEY…. TO WHO EVERY WRITES THOSE LETTER/STORYS YOU TALK A LOT
OV SENSCE MOST OV THE TIME.
Take Care Linda x
Dave: AS usual you are right on target. It is so easy to become overwhelmed by over doing everything. In order to accomplish major projects, a person must break them down into smaller segments. Doing things one step at a time makes them much more manageable. Looking at a major project and trying to accomplish too much becomes extremely overwhelming. This is good advice for everybody. Thanks again Dave. your friend, Chuck
dave,
thank you so much for todays help. i am so bad that i do not think i can go on this morning but i know that i have to.it helps me so much to think that i just have to get through one minute at a time.i have been in this episode for months and i think i can not stand it any longer.the only med that ever helped me was nardil and after months on it i have to stop it awhile and then go back on it, this time when i went back on it i seemed to get much worse, could not sleep or rest any. so i quit it and now i am trying to do this without any meds and i do not see any relief in sight.i do not know what to do. thank you for reaching out to me and all the others like me. God bless you. love sue
“Overwhelmed” is my middle name. It’s not that I have an overwhelming “To Do” list, or schedule DR appts one right after the other. It’s that THINGS happen EXTERNALLY while I’m doing everything I’m supposed to do on my list.
Small example: when my BF comes up for the weekend, I usually leave the used dishes in the sink to get to them later. Then, the countertops have things that cover them. I take one look at the “carnage,” and say,” I CAN’T do this!” I go into “panic mode” and back away from the task. I KNOW it’s part of my illness, but that doesn’t make it RIGHT. So – I enlist the help of my “right arm” (a friend who cleans up my “messes”), to do the dishes, wash the countertops and put everything away, wash the kitchen and bathroom floors, vacuum all rooms, and take out the garbage – only BAD thing is – it costs me $20, and sometimes I don’t have the $20!
I’m getting a little bit better about staying CURRENT with those things that “overwhelm” me, but it’s HARD. My BF doesn’t help with clean-up, nor does he understand “panic attacks.” If it weren’t for the fact that he gives me $20 every time he comes up (to pay for my making the meals), I couldn’t survive…
My dream of being a freelance writer has seemingly “gone down the drain.” By the time I get through with a day’s worth of emails and mystery shopping, I don’t have the TIME to go on the website pursuing jobs. I have all these “fantasies” of being able to make some money on the Internet, only to find I’m my own worst enemy about timing, and learning how to manage it.
I guess what I NEED to do is pare down my expectations and take it “one moment at a time,” until I have everything mapped out that I NEED to do, rather than what I WANT to do.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
I really appreciate reading what you have to say each day. What a lot of work and time you put into helping. it is a gift to everyone. God bless you
Dave, I just wanted to commend you on how much time you put into preparing your outstanding and informative emails each day. I find your emails to be very helpful and try to incorporate them into my daily life but sometimes it is easier said than done.
I to get overwhelmed with my daily life and having to deal with Bipolar Disorder. With your daily emails serving as great advice I often find myself referring back to them when I am dealing with an episode and I must say they truly do help. Well anyways keep up the great work and thanks for all the work you put into getting the word out about Bipolar Disorder.
Hi Dave,
I have bipoler. The last week I ave fallen down hill. My stress level was really bad. I had gone to my friends house and I was so scard to be alone. My Friend saw me and was very worried about me. She wanted to take me and get help but I wanted was to be around my friends. My Friends boyfriend was concern as well but he said that it was alright to stay at their house. I got on my Lap top for a while and then I was so tired that Iwent on their couch and fell asleep. I sleep all day. My friends boy friend had told my friend that he saw that I knew that I was safe. I have been reading alot of your post that you send everyday and I want to tell you that I have you Emails It helps me a great deal and I thank you for that. I do take my meds all the time. I know that when I have stress around me I fall and I don’t know why and I don’t understand the reason why this happens. That night before I went to my friends house. I had these dreams that I was in and they were really scary. I tryed to get out of them but I couldn’t. I felt that I was in Prison and that I was dieing thats how bad it was. I asking why this happens do you know. Please if you can help me that would be Great thank you.
Michele
Tired and drained
HEY DAVE…..
You said in one ov your Emails you sometimes get cauld “j”
are you one ov the rich worriors, I no this has got nothing to do with your letter i was just wondering.
David:
As always, your emails literally “hit the nail on the head.” This one, and “getting into the solution instead of sticking in the problem” have pointed out exactly where we were going wrong. Thank you so much, again and again. I look forward to hearing from you. June
Dave, This was a great suggestion. So simple but we forget to deal with things this way. Bipolar or not we should all deal with life this way. I deal with a son w/bipolar and a mother with deep depression and I get overwhelmed trying to help them. We can only do what we can. Moment by moment, day by day, or minute by minute this is sometimes all that can be managed. Thanks for your heartfelt concern and suggestions they come in very handy. God bless.
Dear Dave,
I am also an alcoholic in recovery for some time. So I’m already very familiar w/living ODAAT. The way I look @ it, if I’m not sober, then I can’t or won’t, have a daily conscious contact w/my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God, and wouldn’t be able to manage my bipolar illness. Thanks for mentioning the part(s) of the A.A. program that you agree w/. Thanks for all you do for us, those living w/bipolar on a daily basis.
Dave,
My story is that I have 2 teenagers with bipolar disorder. Being overwhelmed is just not for the person with the disorder but for everyone that is part of their world. By having 2 childern with this disorder and being a single mom, I need the help of everyone that deals with my children to be on the same page as me. I need them to let me know if one of my kids is acting or saying strange things. I do have the help of many people. I am in connect with there schools at least on a weekly basis, my neighbors let me know if they see any strange behavior and even their friends. I have been very open with everyone who has any contact with my children even my local police department does know the condition of my children. With all of that and trying to be prepared for anything that could go wrong. My daughter was 15 years old , took her medication religously, saw her doctor monthly and a therapist weekly. She had a plan at school that if she was feeling overwhelmed or stressed, she knew who to go to to talk to. Her relationship with her doctor and therapist was great. In December 2007 she became stressed out with studing for semester exams after the exams were through she just felt unraveled. We talked to her doctor and he suggested a few days in inpation hospitalization, just a small break away from everything. It did do wonders for her. She at never at any point stopped her medications. She seemed refreshed and on focus. But for some reason not known to anyone but her she committed suicide on Dec. 31, 2007 in our home. Not only was our family devasted but everyone that knew her. There was absolutley no signs. Her doctor, therapist, friends or teachers had no idea. I have read her journals up to Dec. 29,2007 and they are full of her futur plans. No thoughts of anger or sadness just plans for the futur. The police took her other journals and I will be able to get them back 2 yrs. after the date of her death. I am hoping that there will be some insight on what happen. Being overwhelmed is just part of bipolar disorder. I thought as her mother I had everything covered for every sitution.
We all do much better taking one step at a time – bipolar or not. Take time to walk, as when you run too fast you might fall and then have to start all over again. I am a patient person and can’t stand pressure (usually administered by impatient people). I get a job done well when I do it in my own time at my own pace. If someone gives me a deadline I panic. That’s why I would only ever be self-employed. My recent house move was fairly overwhelming. I did have a dreaded deadline to get everything done by, which I could not have reached without my boyfriend’s help.
Today’s email is appropriate for my boyfriend. He has got himself a few hours work a week helping an old lady with driving and shopping etc. Those few hours are really good for him, but if he does 2 days in a row he gets exhausted. He can’t accept the fact that he used to be able to work 6 whole days and now gets tired after 2. I said it’s probably the bipolar and/or the meds and he should consider himself lucky that he doesn’t really have to work. I understand that he wants to be useful and productive, but if he needs more sleep than he used to he should grant himself that.
(Cheryl: My heart goes out to you and the rest of your family. Bless you)
Dave: What you say makes sense but what if you can’t go back to work a bit at the time. I own the business and am the principal designer. Clients have no patience so most nights I stay at work until at least 3 AM or just keep going till the sun comes up, run home shower and go right back. I still can’t get it all done! The lack of sleep is causing memory problems and other issues. My other major issue I’d like your input on is my family (sisters). Right after I was diagnosed, but not yet on meds, they cut me out of their lives, don’t talk to me, send hateful emails back and forth. One even calls my therapist and lies to her! Wouldn’t you think they would know that they are doing more harm than good or is that what they want? My brother in law told that same sister that if I kill myself, she has nothing to feel guilty about as she’s done all she can! But they are always “right”. Even though she has done more damage than everyone all together
I try not to think about them but being my only family it’s hard not to. I have tried to take the small steps in sending them emails, etc.. not even a response back.
Tdoc and Pdoc both say forget them. I just don’t know if I can. Should I just let them go?
Thanks, Sally
Your advice is not only good for bipolar disorder but its also a great help for most of us in the busy environment world of today. Good karma.
I have a question, Dave, if that’s alright. BTW, I do agree with you on the ‘baby steps’ concept.
My question is: Can you tell me what kind of responses might come from a person with bipolar if they are trying to repair a relationship (from a bad episode) and the person does not want to have anything to do with them (because of what happened)? Could that trigger a suicidal response? (Or some sort of retaliation?) And if so, how can a support person help their bipolar loved one get through such harsh reality, or how can they help prevent such a response?)
Hi Dave:
Your letters have been very helpful to me, these past several weeks. I am a supporter to my son (now 28) and with your encouraging words to read and pass on to him, some days I do think he listens. Your time and effort is much appreciated. Thank you.
Dave, I used to get overwhelmed or I call it going into the crisis mode. I got put on Adrenal Support; and I am doing much better. But physically because of all the stress I am under I have been withdrawing from my BUSY, BUSY world. I missed School Saturday and Church on Sunday and slept most of those 2 days. My routine changes every day. BUT the thing that helps me the most is reading in scripture while I am eating breakfast and while I am on the bus and on the train. I just feel so tired and I have come down with a liver disease that today I was told could have been caused by all the stress I am under. So I may have to reassess my priorities and slow down my activities so that I can stop getting sick. People think everything is honkey dorey with me. How do I explain to people that I am just too busy?? I do not have a therapist and at school I can relax most of the time. I do not want to lose that outlet and I do need to go to physical therapy or exersize every other day and walk up stairs on the other 2 or 3 days to class and back. Right now I may have to cut down on some of my community involvement and focus on taking time to relax. I am so tired and then tonight I could not go to sleep, so here I am on the computer. I have more friends on the computer than I have in real life. But lucky for me I have started to build a good relationship with one of my teachers; and she usually drives me home from school and we get to talk. I get to spout out what I am concerned about and we explore ways of dealing with my every day situations. So I do have a sounding board. Thanks for giving me this outlet where I can express what is going on and try and find some solutions to my everyday problems.
This one step at a time is great advice. I’ve recently said to myself ‘ one day at a time’ and kinda blocked other stuff by writing it down in hope I’ll be well enough to deal with it later.
Also it has took time to accept that I am overwhelmed and struggling. Until I accepted this, I couldnt change the way I spent the day and my expections of what I thought I should achieve.
I find it is difficult to be satisfied achieving small goals but understand it can lead to those bigger ones in time… will keep going
Hello dave…..
I am sure I am respeonding to this late, but noticed a few comments about going off the medications…..
Well I can empathize with people who do this. Half the medications out there are nothing but masks, they dope the hell out of you so you cannot respond to anything at all, that is what mine did.
I am an ex-addict, 17 years to date now…but most of the medications I was on are very addicting! Effexor was the worst one, that totally crashed me being on that…so I am off my medication, have been for a while now. I am okay, but do cycle quite harshly at times, minimal episodes, but unlss they have a great medication out there that does not dope the hell out of you, I am all for it 🙂