Hi..thanks for the great tips today.
I like to beat myself up for my mood swings. Thankfully, the meds I take keep me out of BIG trouble now…but I still have those peaks and valleys.

It ain’t easy!

David,
I agree 100% with you.Just keep move on doing good job.You are blessed.
I am deaf and have Bipolar Disorder and Manic Depression. I take Lithium and Abilify.It helps.I dont get as mad I used too.
Now that lady called you was bad and she said she had CD’s.How I possiblity hear CD’s? Maybe you have on papers what CD’s saying?
I want be one of 87 peoples I been looking for get in sign in I havent seen one yet.
Thank you keep up like u said move on…
Sincerely,
Clinton Bradshaw

David – sure do appreciate your return phone call! You really DO exist! It was courageous and, well, nice of you to stay on the line with that “lady” for almost an hour, losing out on a consulting job, without really ever being able to help her. I had a mother who didn’t believe in mental illness, so she worried about me. She gave me her time, her money (to bail me out of some utility problems), came to see me in State Mental Hospitals across the mountains in ice/snow – but never accepted that my mood swings were NOT my fault Since death in 1991, I’ve been told by other family members, that I “was her life,” but she had other interests – golf, garden club, church, her flower gardens – that sometimes, but not always, included me. It is hard to look back and think that someone was living in your shadow, “bucking you up” without realizing that’s what she was doing. I made it up to her – she developed Altzheimer’s in 1989 snd I had to put her in a nursing home (hardest job I ever had to do), but visited her 3-4 times a week. Even when she only recognized me as a familiar face, I continued to love and take care of my mom. I DO take care of myself – I take my meds, go to therapy, hold down a part-time job, and feel I am a highly-functional bipolar. I will say, that besides my mom not recognizing my weaknesses but always recognizing my strengths, helped immensely. We had knock-down, drag-out fights – she was a very feisty, independent woman – but I had to stand up for myself. I think anyone who takes the time to go through your materials will find something they relate to. My boyfriend is doing all he can to understand my illness, and I’ve been told by my therapist that sooner or later I’ll need someone to take care of ME. He’s a much better alternative than a psycho ward!

Hi…I have read and truly appreciated ALL your efforts to help not only your MOM but all who are affected in one way or another by bipolar disorder…

My Dad and his sister were never diagnosed but I am positive they had bipolar disorder. Dad is dead and my Aunt is still in a mental institution.

I am soon to be 55 and was hospitalized and diagnosed with bipolar in 1994…My brother who was a year younger was diagnosed by the VA Hospital as schizophrenic…I am positive he had biplar and was misdiagnosed…He killed himself when we were in our mid-thirties. I KNOW he was given the wrong medicines…He poured paint thinner on himself and lit himself on fire…but did not die right away…A young healthy man, burned 94% of his skin off still lived 2 weeks in a burn unit till his kidneys gave out…

One of my three daughters was diagnosed with bipolar when she was in her early twenties…and takes her med faithfully and is a vet tech, high functioning bi-polar…The oldest doesn’t show bipolar but has panic attacks…The youngest, who is 22 has had depression medicine from her regular doctor but not gone to a psychiatrist yet…She knows she is bipolar. As soon as her insurance kicks in from her work she will go to a psychiatrist to get proper medical treatment…

Ever since I was diagnosed I tried to understand what bipolar was about to be able to stay stable…I had the support of some in the family but really no one who KNEW or researched enough. Too much work, time for them…So much of my life has been wasted in episodes and picking up the pieces…Wrong medicines, doctors. And so much wasted time and energy blaming me for being what I am…

Because of our religion my husband has stayed and supported me for 35 years and he should have a medal!!! BUT…he STILL thinks bipolar is just a mood disorder, sometimes you are high and sometimes you are depressed…He runs away from really learning and understanding something that he thinks I have and not “us”…I will try to get him to get your course for supporters…

The sad sad drama in our lives ….life could have been so much better had he gone with me to my doctors…instead of sending my daughters with me…

I am taking babysteps to reach small goals…so I can see small successes. I need to continue to learn so I can pass the information on to my children.

I know the ONLY one to really take charge of ME is ME…I graduated at the top of my class in college in Textiles and Clothing…so using babysteps I have dubbed myself…the mad bra scientist…I will launch a bra business with my designs…”Mad” is a personal pun…referring to my bipolar and my anger…that certain size bras are not to be found very often in the US…but common in UK. I am refering to sizes that fit the body-type of Dolly Parton. My Scots-Irish and Swedish heritage gave my daughter and I a plus plus size upper body endowment…As you know Dave, many great musicians, writers, and artists of old and currently have bipolar…So I am channeling my talent to be an advocate for 2 causes close to my heart…bipolar and large-chests…

We cannot pick who our parents are and neither did our children pick us…I know from my family history of alcoholism, large chests and bipolar disorder that in my family’s case much had to do with heredity, the biochemical nature of bipolar…I hope others realize this and learn as much as they can from you Dave…

You are a pioneer in the educating of “How Not to be Destroyed by Bipolar Disorder”!!! And “Keep on getting on…with your life” a good motto, plus others I say to myself like…if I have a BAD day…then the next day I tell myself…”Self, today is a do-over day!” Then smile…It is never too late to have a do-over day…

Dear David,

I read the responses of people who wanted to diagnose the woman who bawled you out. I loved your response to all that. Your dad, certainly, and maybe even your siblings loved your mom, too, but imperfectly. Eventually, you came to love her in a strong and creative way, taking responsibility for helping her out of her problems. Your kind of love has saved her, and helped countless others of us in the process. I always told my kids that self-pity / blaming others is the most dangerous kind of illness. There are people in the world with all kinds of serious diseases and handicaps who are making a good life for themselves and their families. The only true “cripples” are those who won’t take responsibility for working at overcoming their problems. To state this is not being unkind, but truly helpful. CT

Having been a single parent for the last 12 years, raising my bipolar son on my own – I have finally come to this realization. I had never been a real religious person, however I have always felt that each of us has a purpose to fulfill while here on earth. My conclusion? I was chosen to raise this special child of mine. His disability is unknown to the vast majority of people he comes in contact with… and generally viewed as a “rotten” kid who treats his mother badly. I have never accepted the negative comments from others – suggesting I’m a bad parent, or that I should have him hauled away, etc. I believe in my son, and thru my love and understanding – he will survive this disorder and some day be able to function on his own in society. Because he was misdiagnosed and treated improperly for 11 years, we still have a long road ahead of us. And – because we want to help prevent others (both a child AND their families) from going through the same nightmare, my son and I have started a non-profit organization. Hopefully, God willing, this will be up and running within the next year.

To everyone out there dealing with raising a bipolar child, or supporting a loved one with bipolar, take heart. You were chosen because of your strength, your ability to love unconditionally, and your dedication. Give yourself a pat on the back!

Hey Dave,
I was that crazy woman only a few days ago. My son masterly drove me over the brink and my husband and mother in law let me flap in the wind while they stood back and took what my son said as the truth. The truth being that in only ONE hour in a rain storm that lasted for 30 minutes of that hour that HE rode his bike in steel toed boots about 9 miles on country road and made it to HOME DEPOT spotless. I mean not a speck of dirt in his hair on his bike or his clothes. It only rained during the middle of the hour he was gone. A real down pour. He called me every foul thing he could think of including a bad mother and swore to GOD that he was not lying. Then went so far as to say he would NOT accept my apology when he was proven not a liar. I stood back and was shocked my husband was looking at the same things I was but not saying YOUR lying Chris who were you with? His shirt still smelled clean and of his cologne. He ran away that night. He was back the next morning it being Mothers Day and on our trip to my mother in laws he started in on me again when I said ” If you just tell me what you were doing Chris your punishment will not be so severe.” I was again called horrible names and again told HOW truly horrible a mother I am. On mothers day no doubt. My mother in law took his side totally. Was I a bit frantic by then…yes. Was I to the point of yelling at Chris. yes. It hurt like hell to be looked at like I had lost it. I started second thinking myself. Maybe he could have road that and not gotten a speck of dirt on him or his bike. I later called a really good friend and she told me.. YOU’RE the smartest person I know. You have more common sense than anyone I have met. You know your right. DONT let anyone make you second guess your gut instincts. It took me two days to calm myself back down to where I could handle the real issues. His running a way, His being somewhere he was not suppose to be and a couple of other things on top of that. He is BI POLAR I had to keep telling myself that. He truly believes his lies he truly does not see that he was wrong. He threatens me and has hurt me in the past and as well last weekend but that was during his episode. He is going to live with his Nana (My mother in law) this summer. It is too bad that it hurt our relationship with her totally throwing me under the bus because my son was pulling on her grand mother instincts. My husband and I had a huge talk about how he is NEVER there for me and how it hurts that he allows our son to attack and hurt me and he never takes my side or any side for that matter. For me, I ask myself… am I nuts? AM I a bad mother? Luckily I have friends and family that pick me up after I get stomped on. I guess what I am trying to say is… I COULD be that woman screeching at you for help but not knowing just what kind of help I need. She sounded so alone Dave. So alone and all of us have been one the end of our mortal ropes before. Even though we know what to do sometimes you just get hit by so much so often you can’t recover fast enough for the next onslaught. You either go into a corner and start sucking your thumb, shut down completely or you start raising the roof. No one and I mean NO one can be perfect 100% of the time. Wish I could hug that woman on the phone Dave tell her she is not alone.

Wow.. kinda late reading this one, but felt compelled to do a “THANK YOU DAVE !!! Good timing for me.