Hi Dave, you are right about thanking the people who support bipolar people. In my book, my husband is a saint, and I try to take every opportunity I can to tell him so and sincerely thank him on a regular basis. God, who was the only one who knew that someday I would be utterly and desperately depressed, allowed this wonderful, caring and so very selfless man to be my husband. How unfortunate for him and what an unbelievable so undeserved gift to me. Tnank you Dave for taking care of your Mom. What a wonderful blessing you will and have received in just knowing what a noble thing you have done. Thank you from me to all bipolar supporters that work and sacrifice so much for the people they love. May God richly bless you with if nothing else the knowledge that you were put into such an important position as to be supporting someone in such need. I have to say as someone who is being supported, I also have cried and worried over what a burden my disease has been on my husband. He doesn’t complain and yet I still grieve for him and the person I know he thought he was marrying and how much he has given up. Dave is absolutely right that supporters suffer just as much if not more than the bipolar person.

Theresa

Dave…I understand and agree with you that a “Thank You” is very important to those who actually help those with Bipolar. But please remember that those with Bipolar suffer a great deal. I have the severe form and can you imagine being psychotic or insane? Not having control over your behavior? Doing very embarrassing things and having to live with that? In my episodes I do not become violent or lie but I put myself in situations where I could be harmed or even killed…one time I was walking in the middle of the freeway. For a very long time I did not have any help. I had to figure things out for myself. My family would not even visit me at the hospital or give me a ride home once I was released from the hospital. I take full responsibility when it comes to my episodes and take my medication. It took a long time to find medications that actually worked for me and since there is no cure for Bipolar I sometimes still have episodes. But it has been three years since an episode and five years since a hospitalization. It is important to remember that not everyone has someone to help them. Your mom is very lucky to have you. Dealing with those who have Bipolar is extremely difficult but I think what is even more frustrating is dealing with the system. My family does help me now and I am very greatful. I thank them all the time. When I am not in an episode I am very funtional and help them out with things too. I put myself through school and have a degree in Psychology. It took ten years but I did it and had no help. I was the first in my family to obtain a degree even though I have Bipolar. Dave, dealing with people who have Bipolar is not easy. I know this. But those who have Biploar have to deal with the stigma of having a mental illness and are viewed as less than of a person because of it. It has only been recently that when I tell people I have a mental illness that I do not care what they think. I know who I am and all the obstacles I have had to overcome to be the person I am today. ~Sher

Dear Dave,
Just read todays message (3-24-07)You can’t know how bad I needed a thank you today….even if it didn’t come from my 14 year old bipolar son, it helped to hear it from someone! And I want to thank you back for all you do. We are still trying to achieve the stability we believe he can achieve, we have hope. He is finally being sent for neuropsychological testing to clarify his diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, ADHA, ODD, Anxiety Disorder and learning disabilities. Phew! My husband and I are older (late fifties) adoptive parents and are both disabled. We’ve had our son since he was 22 months old, and have been struggling for answers and solutions since he was about 5 or 6. It’s been a wild ride, but we love him and are still working for him, and take some pride that he has not gotten involved with illegal drugs, alcohol, smoking or promiscuity (dare I say so far?) Thanks for your Bipolar CCourse, it has provided us with some good suggestions, insight into how He feels and hope for improvement.

Dave, I just wanted to say that some of us with bipolar know that we have something wrong with us, but we think that if we can just do better, sleep more, eat healthier, be with that person, if we’re stronger, if we try harder, or something then we’ll be okay…it’s a hard road to walk to get to accept that you have a mental illness. My family doesn’t want to read anything about my illness, though they do wish to help me it is simply by being there…whether it’s to say “You need to just snap out of it” or “it’s okay, she’s just moody” or “She’s having one of those days.” I have bought books, upon books, read information, talked to doctors, etc. My dad is supportive in the emotional way, he is there for me, and has give me a piece of land to put a small home on so I do not have to worry about paying rent, etc and so I am close to family, but my mom doesn’t really understand and doesn’t really want to accept to worry that it’s something she caused, or to feel guilty. She loves me, but I don’t think she has accepted that I actually have a mental illness, she’d rather believe that I am just moody, mean, selfish, irresponsible, snappy, lazy, too emotional, and weak. So even though I’ve tried to get her to read books, etc it doesn’t work. I have to rely on myself. At least you took the time to help your mother, and for that you deserve a HUGE thanks. I’ve thanked my dad for helping me and for being supportive of me, and I’ve thanked my kids for accepting me the way I am and for loving me and being understanding.
But I have noone to thank for actually being a caregiver, for trying to help me and becoming more informed, except myself. I read as much as I am able, research things, etc. I am in college fulltime and am in the process of writing a research paper on the stigma attached to mental illnesses like bipolar. So here is a big THANK YOU to you Dave, to my kids, and to my dad.
THANK YOU!

Ok, u say i must thank my supporter/s who make as if im crazy and must snap out of it its no big deal. Going to hospitals i did it on my own and had no visitors and actually didn’t care. WHy must poeple talk as if one is just being moody and looking for attention and the continual questions every morning ‘are u ok did u take ur meds’. And my family dont visit me as they complain about my behaviour when i wnat things done a certain way and they will insult me by bringing their own groceries because’ i do not want with my things’ and yet i do not see it that way but they have never visited me in hospital or even accompanied me and i do not care because they would remind me of their comments when i was growing up.I have a degree and diplomas and have a good paying job(auditor) with a medical aid and car allowance and housing allowance and compulsory two weeks leave.I am feeling the rumblings of that deep dark depression coming on,so even as i write this i am off to our psych. services at work so as not to have disciplanary action against me, when i am late on some mornings and when i have to go twice weekly to counsellor and doctor. I am 34 and i’m left with only 8 years of a 20 yr bond. And guess who do my family ask for money and who sends them money monthly. Me the crazy one.(Ok now i sound like i am really complaining and resentful)
In response to Deb concerning her anger and rage about lying; I have made up stories–which is lying–and said what people want to hear–also lying just to get people of my back but also forced myself to do things so as to avoid the moodiness stigma.THat is all lying as i ahve not been truthful to myself.
So Deb has never lied that u have taken ur medicines never lied that everything is fine never lied that u had a busy weekend whereas u were sleeping or u had locked yourself in ur room because u did not want to see anybody. Or are u pushing urself to be as ‘normal’ by proving u okay is that not another form of lying to urself.As if u in battle with the disease and u going to win at all cost(maybe that is why u angry and u sound unhappy). And watch ur colleagues–if u do work–and their comments about ‘she is like this dont take note of her’.
And why so much anger not wanting to be lumped with a bunch of people. Gee Deb now people are going to really say bipolar sufferers are violent with that angry language u need to go and sort it out with ur therapist. And Sherri u are describing me girl. Since i joined i have encountered Utopian ideals and lists to be followed so as to be normal and actually ended up feeling abnormal as many of the people even after finally finding correct doctors and right medications it seems like they never had episodes again. Its as if u KNOW and u UNDERSTAND what its like.

Dear David,

I saved all your comments and blog updates, and return to re-read them often since we really can’t afford yur course right now. My husband has been diagnosed as Bi-polar II, but keeps getting the same medicine. He sleeps most of the time when he’s not working. He works as director of a non-profit organization that helps low income people, and receives a modest living allowance for this. I do art work, which brings in a little, but it’s difficult to focus on art sometimes. Our son is set to graduate in May from a top school for artists, and he is very bright. But he has strong mood swings as well, and I worry that he has bi-polar, too. My husband’s mother was institutionalized most of the time he was growing up, so it seems clear that emotional instability can run in families. I would like to invest in your course, because it looks like more than one in our family will need it. Can you tell me if the supporter’s course is going on sale anytime soon? Until then, I devour everything you write and send in the emails. To me, you are a super-hero who PERSISTED (this is obviously the key word) until you found the way to help someone you loved and bring her back to a functioning life. I will never get to meet you, but I love you. You are more a hero than any celebrity out there. CT