This is a message to both those who have bipolar disorder
and those that are supporters of those with bipolar disorder.
I was just thinking last night how tough it is to be a supporter.
My dad had said something that really annoyed me, that I will
get into fully in another email or maybe a podcast because I don’t
have a lot of time.
Basically he suggested that all of the stuff I did he could
have done to help my mom. This is kind of funny because if
he could, he would have done it. It would have been great
to have TWO people working to help my mom not just one.
Last night, I started to say to my dad you know
I had no information or anyone to ask for help. I had to
figure EVERYTHING out myself. It tooks almost a year. I slept
2-3 hours some days.
I have THREE main courses/systems:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
I am not bragging but the bottom line is, these courses/systems are excellent. BUT, I am not trying to sell them to you right now. I want to make a point.
When I got started there were NO resources. Each problem I had
to sit and brainstorm a solution and get books, hire people,
call experts, go to meetings, etc. etc.
There wasn’t a David Oliver that I could use a f.ree consultation
certficate, included in my courses/systems, to ask non medical
and non legal questions to.
There was a $49 ebook that offfered virtually no help at all. On
a side note, people that do get the ebooks and my stuff always say
how much more they got out of my material versus the $39 ebook. I always
laugh and say what do you expect out of a $39 to $49 ebook? :).
Anyway, in addition to just bipolar disorder, I had to deal with
issues related like:
-Taxes. When my mom when into an episode, Internal Revenue Service letters “rained” down on her which were all given to me to “handle.”
-Helping my mom buy a car when she was in an epside, how bad c.redit, etc.
-Finding my mom’s c.redit.
-Getting great affordable health insurance
-Setting up a plan for my mom’s retirement after she gave it all a way in an episode.
-Undoing all the lies that my mom said to various people
-Helping my mom paid off her d.ebt
You have seen these long descriptions of my courses/system
so you know what I can offer.
I looked at my dad and was amazed that he basically thought
he could have done it all. Anyway, it reminded me how
thankless this caregiver job is.
My mom also told me how hard it is for the person with bipolar
disorder as opposed to the supporter. I think my mom really
believes this. BUT, if my mom can’t remember half if not 90%
of what she said and did, it can’t be that much harder on
her than the rest of the family.
I remember it ALL.
I find that being a caregiver or supporter is like being a
fireman that never really gets thanked. I have many friends
that are fire, I guess I should say persons, because there are
several woman that I know who are involved in these organizations.
Anyway, I asked, “Hey, does anyone say thanks to you?” Many say
I think if you have bipolar disorder, and I know that I am going
to get a bunch of angry emails but I don’t care, you should say
thank you for the person who is supporting you. It’s way more
difficult than you can imagine. I know that’s hard on you too.
I know. I know. BUT, the vast majority of supporters have
tried so hard to help you the person with bipolar disorder.
-Spent and lost tons of money
-Lost tons of sleep
-Ruined their health
-Lost out on many opportunites
-Made huge sacrifices
-Been stressed for days, weeks and months at time
-Worried all the time
-Tried to figure out what to do to help you
-Contacted people like me for help
-Searched the internet, books, manuals, support groups, etc to try to help you.
The list is sooooooooooooo long. One guy I knew who had a ton of money,
was flying all over the country to different support groups and doctors just to help his family member.
The vasy majority of supporters don’t mind doing this but I think
that a thank you would make them feel better. SO, if you have bipolar
disorder why not thank the person or persons supporting you?
My mom actually does thank me a lot. My dad, hmmm. I can’t remember if
he ever thanked me. Maybe once. He likes to believe I didn’t do that
much because I think he feels bad knowing he did nothing. My brother has
never thanked me. The rest of the family thanks me all the time.
Now I am not looking for everyone to have a David Oliver holiday but
thanks is nice.
So if you are a supporter, I am thanking you. You’ve done a great
job helping your loved one. Just reading emails helps them. Listening
to my podcasts that I finally figured out how to make. Or the blog
posts that I put up everyday.
I know that you might not get a thank you so you’re getting one
from me. If you have bipolar disorder, thank the people or
persons. Do it today if you can.
Give me feedback to how it works out for you.
I have to run to the gym.