Hi,
How’s it going? I have something really
important to tell you about bipolar
disorder. I was reminded about this important
concept from a strange source–Paris
Hilton.
If you remember correctly,
last week or so, Paris Hilton got out of
jail. I am not interested in Paris Hilton
but everyone was talking about it so I
wound up thinking about it.
Anyway, I was at the gym doing some cardio
because I had missed my morning session. And
50% of the TVs were showing the Paris Hilton
interview with Larry King. Larry King is
the guy on Cnn that wears those goofy
suspenders.
Anyway, I was kind of forced to read the
interview (it was transcribed on all the
TVs in front of me).
I was kind of annoyed because I am not
into celebrity gossip. BUT, the good news
is, this interview reminded me of something
that is SUPER important with bipolar disorder.
Not only bipolar disorder but other things
as well.
As I was watching the interview started
to go around to, why she was in jail.
I guess she was in jail because she drove
on a suspended license. Then Larry King
asked her why she did this and that’s
when…
THIS SUPER IMPORTANT CONCEPT THAT YOU
MUST LEARN FOR BIPOLAR DISORDER HIT ME
She said it was because her attorney
said her license was okay to drive on
and she just took his word and that’s
how the problem started.
Then it hit me. The problem of the bipolar
expert that has no clue or has a clue
but say some things wrong.
Let me explain. I have found, especially
with bipolar disorder, the people who you would
think are experts really have no idea what
they are talking about. Or they know what
they are talking about in specific area of
bipolar disorder but not other areas. The
problem is, people listen to them in all
areas and get themselves into trouble.
Let me give you some examples. Psychiatrists
are smart people generally. They know about
medicine for bipolar disorder primarily.
BUT I have seen people ask questions on:
-How to get a job with bipolar disorder
-How to get a loved one into treatment if he/she
doesn’t want to go
-How to live with someone with bipolar disorder
-How to marry and stay married to someone with
bipolar disorder
-How to stop a loved one with bipolar disorder from
getting a divorce because they are unstable
-How to afford medication
The list goes on and on. Many times I have seen
doctors answer questions outside of their area
of expertise and guess what? People actually listen
because they are an expert. This is deadly.
Look at what happen to Paris Hilton. Her attorney,
or her expert told her she could drive with her
license but it was suspended. She should have called
and checked herself.
With bipolar disorder, in my opinion, you have
to have your own knowledge about bipolar disorder.
Then you have to seek out experts and ask questions
in their area or ask them if they have knowledge
in a certain area that you have questions about.
HERE’S THE IMPORTANT PART
You have to take what the expert says against your
bank of knowledge in your own head and make a decision
as to if you should follow the advice or listen to
the expert.
I have found with bipolar disorder so many disturbing
things related to experts in mental health having
no clue at all.
Let me give you another example. Okay my mom is on
disability as you probably know. First she can’t
work full time because it will cause her to go
into an episode. When you are on disability you
can’t make more than a certain amount of money
per month or you get knocked off of disability.
So my mom is told by someone that she can two
part time jobs and it will be okay. Even good
for her. My mom starts believing it until
I ask her a million questions like:
Mom, two part time jobs equals a full time job.
That’s too much according to your doctor, right?
How are you going to be able to make this much
money and stay on disability?
Aren’t you going to wind up making yourself worse
when all the extra stress?
My mom thought about it and agreed. I asked
her why in the world she even considered this?
She said it’s because so and so is an expert
with bipolar disorder and jobs so she thought
this person was correct.
Imagine my mom would have listened and/or I didn’t
say anything, it would have been a disaster.
There are so many experts in mental health that
have no idea what they are talking about. They
disseminate information that is half wrong or
all wrong. I don’t think many of these people
are bad people rather simply just don’t know
or are too lazy to find out answers to things
and as a result give bad information out.
People follow because the people have titles
and feel they should know what they are talking
about.
You have to have information in your head and then
check everything. For example, when you read my
stuff, you should think about it and say things
like, “Does David’s stuff make sense? Hmm let
me think.” Don’t take what I say as the gospel,
think.
BUT, you will find that I say is dead right. Why?
Because I am dealing with this everyday. I live
it. I am not a person write how to supporter someone
with bipolar disorder theoretically.
I have noticed with doctors that most have never
lived with someone with a mental illness. It’s much
easier to treat someone you see for 15 minutes than
live with someone for a couple of months, years or
decades.
I am not knocking doctors because you know I feel
they are so important only pointing out the reality.
The reality is, they are great with medication
but most can’t help with things out side of that. It’s
other experts who can. BUT with all experts in the
area of mental health you have to double check
what they are saying to you. You can’t just blindly
follow.
The reason why I put together all my courses/systems
SUPPORTING AN ADULT?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Was because I saw a HUGE and I mean a HUGE gap
of what people needed to know outside things like
medication and bipolar disorder.
Well I have to run. I must say, this email
is super important. Some will read it and think,
“Dave, what the heck? Why are you making such
a big deal about this?”
The world is filled with people following experts
that have no idea what they are talking about and
mental health is one of those areas. Keep in mind
that the mental health field has very few checks
and balances. Very few people get continuing
education. The field pays people very low wages.
As a result it produces people who are supposedly
experts giving out wrong information. And I didn’t
even mention those that are so darn lazy they
just say anything to make you go away.
Beware of these people. Hey I have to run.
Catch you later.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
I agree that you have to take a lot of the information that doctors dole out at face value. It took me years to learn that. It also took me years to learn that doctors did not belong on pedastals where we tend to put them and that they’re only human and it’s okay to questions decisions that they make. If a doctor dosen’t like you questioning his decisions it’s time to get a new one. Finally, after 12 years, I have a pyschologist that helps me learn to live with the disease and a pysciatrist that prescribes meds. For me, it’s the right balance.
david
firstly, thank you for the emails i receive about bipolar disorder. in the short time i have been receiving them i have leaarnt more about bipolar than in the entire 19 months since i was diagnosed.
this article about the éxperts’i have found to be so true , everyone seems to think they are experts when in reality they have no idea about what they are talking about. thank you for pointing that out.
i look forward to hearing more from you
seeka
I enjoyed reading your E mais on Bipolar disorders. I have bipolar with a Personality Disorder (Borderline) It is difficult to live with. I have been in troublre with the law many times and been probated twice. I spent time in a Pysc. Ward in a hospital. I decided then to take my Abilify that has realy helped with my sever Bipolr disorder. But it also takes the individual to help themselves. I agree with some of what you say. But I can never go off my meds. Look forward to hearing from you.
Maria (Sadiemaes2mamas@Yahoo.com)
I do so appreciate the information in your emails, Dave. However, as a mental health professional, I would like to clarify that to my knowledge every state requires psychotherapists, psychiatrists, medical doctors to do continuing education that is usually somewhere between 40 hours a year, EVERY year. YES, there are those that don’t do so, but periodically the licensing boards do require verification which comes in the form of certificates of completion given out at the end of seminars. YES, unless someone focuses in on depression, bipolar disease they may not be up to date. And, of course we cannot be up to date on everything. That is why so many doctors and psychiatrists specialize. My suggestion would be, when setting up appointments, to specifically ask if the doctor, psychiatrist has experience with bipolar clients and on the first visit to ask specifically if he has continuing education in bipolar disease. YES, there are unscrupulous professionals in any profession who will tap dance around that question or downright lie. They absolutely should be reported to your local licensing board which wil be a state agency in EVERY state. While a professional may not be investigated on a first complaint; by making complaints a file begins and at some point he/she will be investigated. And, if at any point, the relationship doesn’t feel right, any one, EVERY one should absolutely seek another therapist, psychiatrist, medical doctor. They burn-out, the HMO’s may have them hog tied.. whatever the reason, if they’re not working for you, fire them !!! Then be brave and write a letter, have someone else read it and send it to the professional telling them exactly why you’re switching. Most mental health professionals will be grateful for a heads up that they need to look at what they’re doing.
Dave, I essentially believe that everyone dealing with bipolar disorder SHOULD listen with their own hearts and experience when give “advice” from an “expert.” However, right before being hospitalized for “exhaustion,” the first time, my parents and I listened to my surgeon, who said I was suffering from “exhaustion,” and needed a “rest.” He had them sign me into the psych ward of the hospital! At first, being manic, I thought it was an “exclusive” place to rest. After being signed in, and given blue meds (which I hid under my tongue – another patient had advised me to), I realized this was no “country club.” I was kept on the “closed” ward exclusively, because of my inappropriate actions. I was diagnosed, in 1968, with schizophrenia, WAY before either manic depression OR bipolar disorder had ever been thought of.
I wonder what would have happened to me, had my doctor and my parents not insisted that I get a “rest?” Would my mania have continued unchecked? Of course, it labeled me a “mental patient” for the rest of my life, but I never would have entered the mental health community without that first hospitalization.
Sometimes the advice of a professional SHOULD be taken. Thank God my family did.
Hello Dave thanks for all of your email but i have to ask you one question? a perso with biopolar disorder can’t work? why discriminate against a person for trying to turn their life around with medication.
Hi Dave,
Whats your take on a licensed phychiatrist diagnosing his patient with either bipolar disorder or simply a “mood disorder” (he couldn’t be sure which)and then refusing to treat said patient anymore because he did not appreciate how the patient spoke to him. Because call me crazy, but wasn’t that the reason he was needed in FIRST place?
Hi David,
My name is Terrie Elias, and I have Bipolar. I’m trying to learn more about Bipolar and that’s why I apreciate your news letter. My husband does not worry about my disorder and if I’m having a bad day–that is all it is a bad day. I’ve wanted him to learn about this disorder, but he does not, so it’s me who is trying to learn as much about my disorder. I’m totally disable with many other health problems, which can cause my Bipolar flare up and I’m really trying to work with my strange feelings and things that happen around me during my days and weeks.
Thank you again for your news letter.
Terrie Elias
I do have to say Dave that when I checked into your site and briefly signed up for information, I didn’t think you would go over board with soooo many emails sent to my email account, much like spam. But what quite literally shocked me today and got me thinking was that, maybe you’re the one with bipolar disorder and have found this avenue of expression as your outlet. Why in the world would I want to trust a person who seems a bit out of control regarding this new passion and business adventure? There is a point of being helpful through education while balancing such with respectful communication towards others verses signals of obssessive compulsive disorder that make your pursuits seem too forceful to be accepted as a viable avenue for balancing a disorderly life, as the latter show signs of lack of balance.
Because professionals understand the general populations need for effective, smooth and peaceful communication does not make them lazy or show a lack of knowledge; it makes them professional.
I read your email on the Paris Hilton comparison to bipolar wondering how many people you are leading down the “hate the mental health system” road. I work in the mental health field with people with bipolar, schizophrenia, and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), and many times adding in chemical addictions to the mess. I also am a user of the mental health system due to a head injury. I see a doctor in the pain clinic, neuropsychologist, psychologist, psychiatrist, general practitioner, and have also dealt with a doc in the sleep disorder clinic and gastroenterology due to organ damages from the medicines. So I have experienced it from both sides. I see your lines about the “doctors know the medicines, and those are important” as lip service, it appears evident you don’t really believe in their expertise otherwise you wouldn’t bash them the way you do. No health care provider, whether it be medical or mental, tells a client information expecting them to take that as the bible. As a mental health professional I give my client options and allow THE CLIENT to make the choice. It is not my story, and not my choice. I just provide information that they did not have. And it is ultra important when working in this field, or supporting someone with these disorders, to remember that you don’t know the conversation that occurred, you only know the client’s half of it, and many times the message that was intended gets distorted by the client’s view on reality/thought processes. So unless you were there for the conversation you cannot assume your loved ones view of the conversation was what the professional intended.
As a head injury patient it took me three years to get the doctors to look past the depression diagnosis and focus on my cognitive impairments instead of prescribing more drugs. But it is my responsibility to take control of my medical disorder or I am the one failing myself. If I don’t like the care, or advice I am getting it is my responsibility to get the help I feel is better for me. It is not healthy to place my lack of effort on a medical providers lap because he is the trained professional.
I feel it is time that you put your good intentions to use and provide the information in a responsible forum. I don’t think you understand how your view of a situation influences others. The people you touch also take your opinion as that of a trained professional and when you tell them their provider doesn’t know what they’re talking about you have just eliminated that provider’s five years of efforts at engagement/trust building. You do more disservice to the people you try to touch than help.
And I am a state employee, and granted I may not be paid as highly as those in the “for-profit” mental health outlet. But let me tell you this, the people I work with are obviously not in it for the money. They are here for the feeling of doing something meaninful, and trying to make a difference. You could not find a social worker that is in it for the money because it is a well known fact social workers are overworked and underpaid. They do it because they have a truly functional desire to help others without an agenda.