i would like to talk with this lady about her bi-polar. I too have bi-polar maybe I can be of some help. It also might just help to have someone who really understands the symptoms. I wouldn’t mind having someone who I could talk to.

I must say, I feel badly for the lady who wrote you the letter, re: not all success stories.
I am new to ‘learning’ as my (adult) daughter has been recently diagnosed, and so forgive my ignorance and simplistic approach.
I suspect, that given the right day and doctor, I too could be diagnosed bipolar, but that is another topic. (!? I know very dark depression, and how ‘nothing is right, will work, or be better, even if it could be.’)
What I have observed is that we just want to know what to do (to help – feel better).
Fortunately, the Canadian health care system, allows us the freedom to get sick and get cared for without re-mortgaging our homes.
The lady who wrote seems to have the added burden of ‘cost to treat’ and that cannot be helping her to feel better.
It may help to tell of roadblocks where the detours are marked, so knowing where to go, or what to do next are more clear…?
And, forgive me, perhaps you already do. Remember, I am a new reader.

Let me tell of this….Last year I quit smoking. I joined an on-line help group (put together by the Canadian Cancer Society). Reading of the “slips” and how they got on track again was as positive as it was negative. On the one hand, it gave me ideas on how to get through that “I just want ONE smoke!” moment, but it also made me feel that I ‘could’ have just one and get back on track again. Then I even felt angry jealousy at the writers for ‘getting to slip’…
It was interesting to say the least, to see how it felt at different moments (forget ‘days’, it was ‘moments’!) It gave me almost permission to wallow…to slip…And I did. (have failed at the quit)
Does that make sense?
Sorry if I have babbled, or if you feel I used a “less” example to describe, but it was what came to mind as I read her letter.
Take care of You. Lori

David,

I think that the suggestion about success verses none success is needed to be addressed. I think the answer here is really to have people who have been unsuccessful share how they became successful and what they have done to make this happen. First hand experience is the key to success. Like anything else in the world sharing your failures and turning them into successful steps is a win win situation.
We want to learn from those who have made mistakes. This is indeed the only way that we learn.
It seems to me that eposodes are brought on my emotional pain. Disappointments and life threatening events. It is important to have people in your life that can understand how these things trigger and upset you. If you have people who have overcome these problems and have things in place then sharing their coping mechanisms is very bennificial to us all.
So Let us not report the negative in sad stories. Let us report how sad stories found solutions to their problem and overcame the negative. So what we want to hear from his your Mother herself.
The Bi-polar people in your office who can share their stories and how and what has helped them. The Psychiatrist who has Bi-Polar is indeed someone who could be such a help to us as he has both ends of the spectrum to help us.
Also who in Vancouver, B. C. is an expert on this. Finding out people or Doctors who are really up on this in our areas would be helpful.
Bring in the medical profession to give talks to us first hand via your Blog would be benificial. Not that you aren’t. You are helpful. The internet has a great capacity to aid us who are still in hiding and want to come out but havent’ got there yet and are suffering.

i, personally, would like to hear the positive stories. i am currently in a relationship with a man who has bipolar symptoms and is still struggling with the diagnosis. part of me believes that he will fully accept his condition and learn how to deal with it successfully. but another part of me wonders if i am the fool for sticking around, loving and supporting him while he goes through this. there are enough negative stories and people saying that people with bipolar disorder are a disaster and that people like me should just run the other way, as fast as possible. i need to hear the stories of people with bipolar disorder who manage to become successful and have healthy relationships.
david, keep doing what you’re doing. it is deeply valuable and inspirational.

Mellen – Don’t know if you know or not but state funded progroms (like MHMR – Mental Health and Mental Retardation) is just like County Hospitals, they want to get you in and out as fast as possible. My Counselor has been out sick for over a month and because I have not had anyone to talk to I had a Manic Episode where I kicked my door in and ramed my van into the back of my husbands van. I do stupid shit like this but do you think they care? NO. I have requested, through a supervisor, a new counselor but I have not gotten any answers back (mind you that everytime I call a Supervisor I only get Voice Mail). State funded facilities just don’t care, there are there to just get paid.

To needlemore,

If both of you could accept and understand each other, it will be no problem. You should observe what type of person he is. His personality, how this bipolar came to his life.

A person who accepts his/her illness is much easier to manage. In my case, I am very lucky enough to have a very supportive husband. We agree not to have kids since both of us have bipolar parents. We are in a long distance marriage as well. You must know details of his family before a commitment. Positive people will succeed though their life is a battle.They inspire us with their courage and determination. Do read an unquiet mind by Prof Jamison to have better understanding.

I haven’t read the DaVinci methods yet, stories about succesful and famous bipolar.You should understand that people with bipolar have mood disorder due to the manic and depressive state. If you could accept the ups and downs in sexual relationships,in his motivation, there won’t be a BIG problem. For us, we are a very close friend who is legally married. His career is stressful and demand a lot of his time. I, on the other hand, has lived independently since 13 years old. We married at a later age too. I had thought of getting divorce few times. But he never allow me to mention this and I know there is no point of me to think about it too. In a real love you want the other person good. In romantic love, you want the other person. If there is no conditions, no strings attached to your love – proceed!
Good luck.

I can sympathize with the pregnant lady. I went through the depression end with each of three pregnancies, one of which I was hospitalized with major depression. I was not diagnosed with bipolar until my oldest was 19 years old. The way I made it through was with major support from my support network, part of which was my obstetrician.

Dave, keep telling the positive side. I, and I imagine alot of bipolar sufferers, don’t deal well with negative news. I avoid the evening news for that reason. Keep giving the helpful hints tht may suggest ways out of negative reactions/situations. Thanks for all of the time that you spend each day.

bpserenity
It seems to me that everyone wants to be healthy. Your right it does seem that misery loves company. However, I don’t think anyone was trying to invite you or anyone else into their misery. Maybe you should try another saying “live and let live” Iknow if it was who was reaching out for help that you’d feel differently. I’m glad that your doing well. You don’t have to read all the blogs. My advice would be stop reading it if
it bothers you. You can choose what you read and people can choose what they share.

wendyma

I know from my other blogs it might not seem like it but I’m looking for someone to relate to.
I only said that to Lori-anne to try help her avoid some of the sme problems I’ve had. However, her situation might not be anything like mine. I’d just hate to see bi-polar wreck another family if I could even just share my story and help someone. As for my other blog ,well it spoke for itself.
I can identify with you more than any of the others, from what you wrote. If you’d like to e-mail me and keep in contact I’d be up for that. It is so very ha ard to be bi-polar. Most of the time I don’t even want to leave the house. My friends call,but I avoid the phonebecause I just want stay home. I’ve had alot go on this past year and right now home is probaably the best place. If your interested in e-mailing me let me know so I don’t have to put all my personal info for the world. oh,and I don’t want to run people off that can’t handle negativity

there are plenty of negative stories just go to the Yahoo support groups

What I think happens sometimes is when we are in dire need of finding resources, help, or information etc… regardless of what our situation may be such as; bipolar, bipolar supporter, parents of teens whom are out of control acting out horribly, or in need of information in how to deal with other issues that can leave one paralyzed on a day to day basis of living in crisis desperately seeking help. We can find the information, or go out and purchase books about it and read all the information and the what to do’s and how to change this or that and what not to do etc…and the results should be “problem solved”, or “a plan in the works”. Well that isn’t the case some of the time. You did everything the book said or the doctor said and your outcome wasn’t the end result as the book said or what your doctor said it would be. So I think that is what she meant when she said all the posts are regarding success stories. What works for some may not work for others. I know this because I experienced this myself. When I was in dire need of some parenting resources and help during crisis I would say well I did that and this like I was told or read and nothings changed. Sometimes books don’t take you further and tell you what to do if what they are saying doesn’t work for you. or doctors don’t tell you what to do if what they recommend doesn’t work for you. Trying to survive being bipolar while pregnant I would think would no doubt bring up some issues which may not have been addressed much or at all. All we can do is learn from one another and when we are struggling and nothing we are doing seems to be helping is try something different and keep communicating and finding answers til we can finally find success in what we need.

dear dave iam doing fine thank you for careing mary

I don’t have bipolar, but I have have tried to support two people who do in my family by getting as much information as possible to help me become a better supporter. It is a challenge for anyone involved with bipolar in close intimate relationships.

I believe there are many ways to describe the words success and failure and a huge range to try and identify as to what is a success and a failure where bipolar is involved. Even bipolar has its ranges and diversities in both wellness and illness. Not every thing works for everyone, but most things work for most people and that’s a good, positive variable. Listening to good, positive, helpful advice and then applying it — trying it is a good step in the right direction.

I think consistency is a good answer for most and at least takes you to a new and different experience. Giving up only leaves you where you were before and maybe worse.

I personally would rather live in more gray, shadowy, middle-of-the-road areas than at the top or bottom of any spectrum and maybe that is just as successful for me than being able to check-off all the boxes that are listed in books and forms. Gray is okay and maybe okay is a success.

We are humans and very diverse humans at that. But the important things that we all need as humans are love, care, and respect for whatever is real in our lives bipolar or not. These blog sites provide an opportunity for people to connect and share what is real, good or bad, and it is through these connections that help is often received.

Keep talking and connecting. When the student is ready ….. the teacher appears.

susandrn,
I knopw how you feel. Sometimes it’s hard to even make it to the bathroom as ridiculous as that sounds. Ibet you know the feeling,like your body is made of lead. I to have been in a depressed state lately. I use to suffer on the depressed side alot more often. I know iI still suffer from depression,but I mean like the kind your going through now. I hope you feel a little bettersoon. Most of the time I’m manic, but I find it so hard to function alot of the time.You know
make yourself presentable and go visiting. I’d be glad to chat with you when your feeling up to it. Try to bring yourself around susan. I’ve found that you have to rely on pushing yourself to stay in the game. My e-mail is Carnation@localnet.com Oh and this is the first day I’ve posted here. Please confirm that you got my e-mail chat with you soon Iva

needlemore
There alot of successful people who manage all kinds of illnesses.Your boyfriend may very well be one of them. I don’t know you from adam but, just reading what you have to say almost sickens me. You say you love this man. If that is true ,why are you letting people run him down? It is very obvious that you are because you said that people told you that someone like you should run from him. If you are even cionsidering running from him, that’s not love. I’m not saying itis anyones responsibility to take on someeone elses illness. However, having bi-polar myself it really makes me angry to hear someone use love and run in the same sentence. Your boyfriend is sick,it is possible for his illness to be managed. He will need support from YOU. iF YOU CAN’T BE THERE FOR A LIFELONG ILLNESS THAT HAS UPS AND DOWNS YOUSHOULD BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF AND HIM NOW. i HAVE A VERY SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND AND IF HE WERE TALKING BEHIND MY BACK SAYING HE THOUGHT HE SHOULD RUN, WELL THAT ALONE WOULD RUIN ANY TRUST i HAD IN HIM. iF YOUR BOYFRIEND CAN’T TALK TO YOU INCONFIDENCE AND TRUST THAT YOUR THERE FOR HIM,HE’LL TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE AND THEN YOU BE BOTHERED WITH A SICK PERSON ANYMORE
i’VE NEVER WRITTEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS TO ANYONE BUT YOU NEED TO WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF. bECAUSE THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE WHENALL YOU WANT TO HEAR IS GOOD THINGS DO YOU WANT TO BE EDUCATED OR SHELTERED

David, tell me – do you get the death threats from people with BP of their supporters?!

But seriously -of course it;s right to carry good news stories because this demonstrates that all is not lost, that there is some hope even for those who think things ARE hopeless. I mean, this message isn’t just for those with BP. (If you hit us with a good news story when we’re depressed, it won’t make a bit of difference anyway!) It’s probably even more a positive message for the supporters.

That said, perhaps we all must consider what our definition of success actually is. Being a CEO of a company? Earning loads of $$$’s? Or, may be it’s being able to keep a job for 12 months? May be it’s keeping a job for 12 months AND not having taken a day off sick? Perhaps it’s going a month without a BP episode? Maybe it’s a success just to say at the end of the year, “Well, I’m still alive – the bast@rd BP hasn’t got me yet.” May be your definition of success ought to be transparently variable, as those examples mentioned above. I mean, being a CEO isn’t achievable for the average Joe even if s/he’s not got BP! Having a job at all where there may be 1 in 4 unemployment is a success even if the job is cleaning toilets.
For me … I see BP as being out to get me, to make me surrender my life up to its demands, one way or another. So, success for me IS staying alive. Anything else is a bonus.

hi dave,
by nature i am a very negative person and usually in every day life i am very pessimistic!but i have been diagnosed with bp a month but have been getting your mails longer than that and have to say that because i knew a lot of the facts beforehand about bp which are bad…ie manic/depressed states its balanced with the positive stories which would usually make me made but i have made a concious decision to read through and take something from them each day.even if i am at the lowest of the low its good if a bit hard to read about others successes as i hope i will be the person in the mails one day on the other side of this!!!as for that lady my heart goes out to her…i am petrified about starting a family and coming off of meds but i have very bad pcos,already lost one baby and may not be able to concieve but even from her mail i am going to look at it as her having bp like myself but i too one day will have three beautiful gifts/babies while living with bp

Babies and BP… I had my children before I was diagnosed with BP. Eventually it happened and I now realise that BP is inherited. Had I known this before, I am not sure I would have chosen to have children because I should not wish the worst I’ve been through visited on anyone, least of all my progeny. I wonder, what does everyone else think?

I was afraid someone would bring up not having children. I know I have had BP since about age 7 but only now was diagnosed 20 years later. BP can be inherited but isn’t always. My parents have 8 children, so far as we know I’m the only one who suffers from the illness. (My maternal grandfather, and Paternal Grandmother are both possible BP sufferers)

Everyone has challenges, living with BP or with someone who has BP, so many other things, I have a mentally handicapped sister…Off track but everyone has to deal with their own challenges. Do you decide not to have children because of these challenges you face? I honestly don’t think so. I had two beautiful girls, then found out about about the bp, it has not changed the fact that I have two wonderful children and my husband and I want a couple more. I suffer more severe symptoms while pregnant, but am able to get through it knowing I have a perfect little life inside me. Anyway my two cents.

Hi Sarah,

My case is different. I didn’t mean to encourage other people not to have children too.

It depends on your lifestyle and your past expereience. You are lucky to have your husband around. We are living apart because of my husband work contract. Asians are favoured by international companies to work at the middle east, lower pay and less benefits are the factors. It is very common for us to live apart though our husband are professional.I was not allowed to accompany my husband,they live in the camp.And I do not know for how long I would have to live like this since the company is getting more projects overseas; middle east and africa.I am 38 now. Our lifestyle is different. As the eldest my husband is financially responsible for his family. Both parents are not working, they have no pension plan yet still have son studying.
Only my husband and my mum understand me well. My mum is suffering from elderly depression. In short, my life is miserable. Seen the exorcism of emily rose? People avoid me because of this.I suffered from chronic fatigue syndrome and post-traumatic stress disorder as well. I had conceived twice and didn’t survive. Being bipolar is not the only reason.

I agree with the post of HOPEFUL. We learn from the failure of others, not to discourage but to realize that the method shared in such sad stories are not working out. We should present information on a positive attitude.

If leaving someone with BP to get on with it, I think you can actually look at this as a “success story” for a supporter, but it depends on your needs – both BP and supporter – and how far you can achieve them. For example…

1. When a supporter is helping someone with BP to maintain stability, or at least, some measure of stability, that is a mark of success for them both. Or at least it is IF doing this is what the supporter wants to do, so ….

2. …if supporting the person with BP is binding for the supporter, is done in a sense of obligation, not because they want to help, then while this scenario may be a success for the person with BP (because they are helped to remain stable) it is a failure for the supporter because they are no longer in charge of their own destiny. (Ha! As if they ever were! How to make God laugh – tell Him your future plans.)

3. When the person with BP is out of control, because they won’t accept their illness or won’t take the meds, that’s probably failure for them AND for the supporter. (I say “probably” because we always assume that someone who is ill wants to get better, to be cured or, in our case, establish stability and may be even go into remission. However, this is no always the case. Regardless, even prior to the BP, there are some people who, for whatever reason, are tired of life and want to die. They may be unhappy about their lives anyway, or they may have had enough of the Chinese water torture of Dysthymia, or some other chronic illness, like arthritis. But they are fearful of doing away with themselves. So, they are “happy” when something pops along that will do the job for them, relieving them of personal responsibility of the act. E.g. “I have cancer, which G gave me. The cancer will kill me, so it;s God that’s taking me, not me killing myself.” Twisted logic? Maybe, but that is precisely how some people think. For them, staying alive is the failure, and they will do nothing to save themselves lest this prolongs their agony that is their “illness” and of life itself.) Of course, their is a failure for the supporter who wants to make a difference for the person with BP but can’t, as it is also a failure for the person who DOESN’T really want to help because they want their life back, not have it tied to “the nutter” who’s out of control.

Forgive me for saying this, but such a scenario can be when supporters complain about people with BP not “helping themselves”, blaming the sick person for their sickness gives them, the supporter, an excuse for getting out of the relationship. Relationships break down because of or in spite of one partner is BP. But when “divorce” occurs, folk always look for a reason to excuse themselves of blame even when there is none, even when there is no reason at all. I’m not saying this is usually the case, just that it can be! After all, we often hear “… they choose not to help themselves …” where supporters ignore the blindingly obvious reasons WHY someone with BP may not be helping themselves, e.g.

a) because their illness is so severe they don’t believe there is anything wrong with themselves, or

b) because the meds are worse than the illness, or make the illness feel worse.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work out those reasons for refusing medication. I have and I’m not particularly clever – my IQ is little more than average. (It’s to be expected – having got BP, my brain is supposed to be shrinking, hurting my powers of reason, according to the scientists at Edinburgh university!) Yet we frequently hear plenty of intelligent people complaining how their husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend is “not helping themselves”. (I’m not pointing fingers at any one person. I just suggest the supporters for whom this IS true could show more honesty, please . It’s not as if there is anything to be ashamed of in admitting to not liking someone even if they have BP, brain damage, half a leg and no arms, stuck in a wheel chair, dying. Any of the factors may be valid reasons for no loner liking someone, just as they can be completely irrelevant, that you may just grow apart anyway, or find they are not as nice a person as you thought they were (etc.) You don’t have to make excuses because it’s never the fault of the supporter if their BP person HAS BP, nor their fault for what the BP person may do in the future because of the BP. It’s never the fault of the supporter, it’s the damned illness. Never mind what you think others may think of you for walking out – THEY don’t have to live in your shoes, they are not you, they can never know what it feels like to be you and the agonies you feel or why you feel them. Just go, and to hell with what other people think. Get your life back if that is what you want to do.)

Sarah, I agree Life is always full of challenges and we can choose to be challenged, too. That’s not my point. Is it fair for us to impose challenges of the BP kind (or any other inhereted illness) on the unborn? If you have known what it is like to be in the pits and agnony of a deep depression, to want and try to kill yourself, or be gripped by the even worse agony of a mixed episode, or suffer the delusions or murderous aggression of mania, should we willingly, knowingly bring into this world a child who may have to go through this?

Well it may be interesting to hear non-success stories in the sense that we could here why they were not a success, what they tried that did not work, and did they try all the resources available to them, we may learn from that what we must to in order to not be a non-success!

Melissa If all youv’e ever learned from others mistakes is how to make more then I guess your right,
you should only hear the positive
side of everthing in your life. As for myself I don’t have to live with my head in the sand hiding from everything negative. You see people don’t learn how to be unsuccessful from hearing others mistakes. What your going to make of your life has alot to do with
choices and maybe just alittle to do with luck. I’ve never heared of anyone being unsuccessful in their life because of what they read on internet. I’m sure I misunderstood your comment, but if I didn’t please disregard my blogs I’d hate to think that I shared anything with you that would teach you how to be unsuccessful.

Melissa.
Don’t forget the adage that every mistake is an opportunity to learn. Every success may be an inspiration for us but they don’t necessarily teach us how to avoid the pitfalls into which we may, and probably will, fall!

In my opinion, success can be what is learnt from a failure … an achievment won as a consequence of that learning is not THE success but the cherry on the top of the cake. But we must be realistic to realise the circumstances which allow some people success will not be the same as those experienced by others because THEIR circumstances will be different. Thence, what will work for one may well not work for someone else.

I am dealing with two children with bipolar, my daughter who is 17 and is doing very well, she had been being treated for ADHD since age 5, and bipolar since age 15, also my son who is 16 and was recently diagnosed although I should of probably seen it sooner but I guess I just kept figuring he is a boy and he is starting to act like his dad, possibly I didn’t want to see it because I didn’t want to have both my children have bipolar. As many of you know if you have children or loved ones how difficult it can be, my mother is also bipolar and dealing with her most of the time is so difficult. Like I said my daughter is now doing great, but my son being just diagnosed and just starting treatment is really hard for him as well as me and other family members. Somedays I am not sure how I will make it through this althoug I know I will, and I want to do everything to help him, but it really emotionally drains you. Watching your child being so unhappy, and miserable, barely talking, or when he does it usually in an angry manner. Pulling stunts such as not coming home, or drinking/drugs etc. is so hard especially when you have been doing everything in your power to help him, to be there for him, to understand him so on and so forth, I am sure many of you understand, for me it is great actually to just get this out in writing, because I feel guilty, overwhelmed, sad, and helpless. The guilt of course comes feeling like I somewhow caused this, overwhelmed because sometimes it just seems to be too much, sad and helpless because it makes me sad to see him like this and helpless because it seems as though nothing seems to help, I guess in a sense I feel like a failure as well since both my kids are diagnosed with mental health disorders, although I realize it is not my fault, its hard for a mother not to feel she failed in someway! Well I would appreciate any feedback or anyone that wants to just discuss the difficulties of raising children with bipolar you can email me at mphelps38@yahoo.com.

jbhisyam,
I was not referring to your comment, I was responding to Graham N. My husband is gone a lot too, and I understand what you are saying.
I think I did a good job of explaining my position. If the odds are one in eight that your children will have BP…Look at David, he is normal and healthy. The odds are one in four that my husband and I (who both have brown eyes) will have a blue eyed child…we have two out of two? who knows. Please don’t minimize my condition, I know despair etc. I believe we are put here to experience and overcome.
I have been learning that yes I may have an illness but I still have a choice, a choice to be positive! I am very lucky to have a wonderful support group. This blog is for Supporters, but it is really difficult to find a site that is positive for people with BP. That is why I come here. Because I have BP it can be frustrating to see all the generalizations.

SUSANDRN, I HOPE YOU ARE FEELING BETTER TODAY. I’M FEELING OKAY . I HAVE TO GO TO MY COUSELER. sHE IS AVERY NICE LADY AND SHE SEEMS TO WANT TO HELP. THEY GET PAID FOR THAT THOUGH DON’T THEY? SHE SEEMS SINCERE. I’M SURE SHE DOES WANT TO HELP TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
BUT I’M KINDA STUCK AT MANIC MOST OF THE TIME WITH A LITTLE SPRINKLE OF DEPRESSED JUST FOR FUN. I’VE LEARNED TO LIVE WITH MOST OF MY SYMPTOMS.. I HAVE A FEW NEW ONES NOW THAT I DIDN’T USE TO HAVE. I’D REALLY LIKE TO DISCUSS THEM WITH YOU AND SEE IF YOU CAN RELATE. MAYBE YOUV’E BEEN THROUGH WHAT I’M JUST NOW EXPERIENCING OR VICE VERSA I’D LIKE TO HELP IF I CAN. HECK, BY NOW I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PHD.IN SOME WAYS. YOU KNOW I’M SURE WE HAVE VERY DIFFERENT STORIES,BUT I BET WE HAVE ALOT IN COMMON TOO. SO,SUSANDRN GET OUT OF BED, I DON’T BITE AND I KNOW FROM BEING THERE THAT 24/7 BEING IN BED WILL NOT HELP YOU AT ALL. IF YOU NEED A FRIEND JUST E-MAIL ME, I’M HERE. I HATE KNOWING THAT YOUR PROBABLY IN BED FEELING HOPELESS.
THERE IS HOPE SUSAN AND IF I CAN GET UP EVERYDAY I THINK YOU CAN TOO. iF I’M WRONG AND YOUR OUT OF BED LET ME KNOW I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU EVERY SINCE YOU
SENT ME THE BLOG AND SAID YOU WERE
BED BOUND.

Iva,

It’s okay I am new to this so I probably just need to learn better ways in saying what I am trying to say, I am just glad I found somewhere I can talk about this with people who understand. Most people have no idea what people with or people supporting others with bipolar go through. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, I am grateful that my daughter is doing so well, although Im always afraid of a downfall, I stick with the fact that TODAY she is doing well and for that I am grateful, and it also gives me hope that soon we will get my son in the same position, but at the same time have to realize that this is a lifelong condition and try to be prepared for what will happen next!

Don’t you think it is possible that science doesn’t know everything about bipolar disorder-maybe there are unknown different types of bipolar and varying degrees-that is one person might have a type that is more responsive to the medicines now available than another. That maybe some people have types that allow them to work and function normally and others will never be able to work again even with the available meds/counseling that is now available-assuming that they are doing all they can to manage this mental illness.

Dave,
I read in your site , a few days, some histories that weren’t exactly sucess histories, but that desmonstrated that you were being very suppotive for that people.They were in middle of a very ardous way ,trying to strugle and to find and exit .They are too,thandking for the informations and support.BP in itself isn’t a sucess history.It’s a learnimg history and if you don’t put what is happening ,you will be lying.Its very clear in your message that we must be optimist, behind the existents possibiities.With many gratitudes for the informations that you have been ordered. Lilian P.

BPSERENITY,
I NEVER HAVE DEALT WITH ANYONE THAT ACTUALLY COULDN’T DEAL WITH NEGATIVITY. I’M SORRY THAT IT IS SO TOUGH FOR YOU TO RELATE TO OTHER PEOPLE. I KNOW YOU SAID YOU CAN APPRECIATE POSITIVE COMMENTS AND I UNDERSTAND THAT NOBODY WANTS NEGATIVITY ALL THE TIME. HOWEVER IT DOES EXIST. I’M AN EMPATHETIC PERSON TOO AND OFTEN I OVER EXTEND MYSELF TO HELP OTHERS. SOMETIMES I DON’T EVEN HAVE TO KNOW THE PERSON ALL THAT WELL. IT SEEMS THAT ALOT OF PEOPLE ON THIS SITE COME HERE TO ESCAPE NEGATIVITY. SO, I CAN RESPECT THAT. I DON’T WANT TO RUIN ANYONES SOURCE OF SUPPORT.

Mental health it is not only to be able to work /to love/to be a part of the system.
Mental health means to get the possibility to understand why you are sometimes not the same person and also your selfsteem ist balancing in different positions without rational or almost not a real factum or reason.
The BPD is one of multi disorders that are inside many persons without they are conscient that their self are also caring this illness.
I am not in agree when people wants to put the David’s research in the magical world of the imagination or better the irreal and naiv position concerning the BPD.
To be positive is something that not everybody can do or can feel also.I would say that David is doing great for so a long time that needs to be put honorated almost for me in the positive part of the balance.We have every day negative information and you have to put it out without to know How!!
Davi”s philosophy is helpin many people to find out whts happen with himself also,great,great!
My best regadrs.

Maria

Can someone pls HELP!
I have an older brother
that “might” be bi-polar. I said “might” b/c he has not seen a doctor but ALL of his symptoms fit someone that is bipolar. He wont go see a doctor. I’m afraid / nervous of being around him b/c I dont know when he will act up again. What do I do? PLEASE HELP!!!

Iva/BPSerenity,

Yeah, in spite of all I say about the “good” side of negativity, I also know there are sometimes when I can’t stand to see or hear anything that is sad or emotional. I just crease up with “pain” like deep grief and the taps turn on. When I’m in THAT mood I can’t even listen to melancholic music. It can have me sobbing like a baby.

But isn’t this just the way with BP? There is nothing consistent about it except it’s inconsistent! So, our tastes, our desires, our opinions, our needs, our every damned-thing-else change with the winds of each turn of the moods. Supporters, some of you complain about how variable we are with our affection, our love, our compassion and kindness, from being an angel to a devil … you think you have it bad? You have no idea how these changes make US feel! We are what we think we are, which is the sum total of what we think we remember about what we have done, and what are our values, attitudes and opinions. So, where do you think we’re at when we don’t trust our memories of our past experiences, and our REALISATION that our values, our attitudes and our opinions switch with our moods? I’ll give you an example.

Before I knew I was BP, I didn’t rate myself very highly. I thought I was a bit of a coward. Sure enough, oen day when I was typically depressed, I witnessed an elderly man being motorbike chain-whipped by a Hell’s Angel-type biker. I froze on the spot. Coward! A few years later and I felt no different. Coward. Then, a bunch of us were on a field trip when we came across a group of mothers looking worried looking up a shale cliff face. We looked ourselves and saw the mothers’ children stuck about 40-50′ up the cliff! Three of us launched ourselves to rescue the kids. I got to one at about 35-40′ and the shale beneath my feet gave way – down I slide at a terrific rate, all the way to the bottom of the cliff. I bounced! Pain? I didn;t feel any! Then I dusted myself off and climbed right back up again. We rescued the kids. Coward or brave? Actually, the difference was more … depressed and manic!

I’m afraid of what he might/could do to my parents or others. We shouldnt live in fear of what might could happen..but I dont know what to do. I’ve talked to doctors, but what good is that if the person with a problem doesn’t think he has a problem?!?!?

Graham,
I dont live with my brother. I moved out many years ago. My brother lives with my parent. I’m afraid of what he might / could do to my parents or others. I truly belive that my parents mood changes depending on how he is…How said is that?

Actually Graham N I would love to have a roommate. It is a great place to live.I just get bored easily.

Has anyone on this site ever had something called a disassociative episode? If so, do you have any advice on how to avoid them? My counseler says that they are a result of childhood trauma and they will go away with more therapy. They are new to me and really have me feeling depressed. I have been in thearapy for many years and for whatever reason they have just surficed. I feel like I’m crazy to even discuss them,I’m really hoping that someone identifies with me. I’m looking for the rainbow after the storm.

As a supporter the postivie stories give me hope and help me to know, even when things are bad, that it can be good. They encourage me to keep trying to make sure we have it right.

I would find it discouraging to read the slips and failures and I see them often enough.

Please keep the positive things going.

Petra,
Disassociative episode: contact me off list @ harryf200@yahoo.co.uk

Good Morning all:

I know this is mostly negative but you all are the only ones who know what I am going thru with my daughter and her BPD II. Her Psychiatrist told me to take her to the ER yesterday and have her put on suicide watch, but I didn’t because I let her Bi-polar con me into waiting until today. Meanwhile she grew more manic throughout the night and called me from my car (no license, no permission) in a stream running along side the back road where she landed at about 3 AM PDT. She has never had to be hospitalized until now and you can bet that from now on when her Psych says to do it I will hop right on it. She could have very easily been killed so it is not all negative because it really opened my eyes as to how well my daughter’s BPD can manipulate me. Hugs and Prayers to all of you and Thanks a million times over to you David. See ya tomorrow, I think.

I think we all know about the negative side of bipolar and need to hear the good. My granddaughter has bipolar and Aspergers. She still has outburst and tries to hit and kick me. These outbursts usually last about one day. She has a good doctor and is getting help from the Mental Health Assoc. I have a small support group that helps get me through some of this stuff. My granddaughter is 12 years old.

COME ON I REALLY WANT TO IDETIFY WITH SOMEONE. I’M BIPOLAR. I’M IN TREATMENT AND HAVE BEEN FOR MANY YEARS. IS THIS SITE ABOUT MAKING FRIENDS,OR JUST READING THE INSPIRATIONAL BLOGS? I WOULD LIKE TO FIND SOMEONE TO SHARE STORIES WITH ON A REGULAR BASIS, I HAVE POSITIVE STORIES,BUT I OCCAISIONALLY NEED TO VENT . IS THAT ALLOWED ON HERE? I HOPE SO BUT IF IT ISN’T AND YOU FEEL I’D BE BETTER ON ANOTHHOR SITE TELL ME THE NAME OF IT, I’M READY TO
VENTURE OUT IF NEED BE. I AM REALLY READY FOR AN ONLINE BUDDY.
PLEASE RESPOND, IF YOU TOO ARE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO SHARE WITH TOO. I JUST MIGHT BE THE GAL FOR YOU.

Hi all:

I just got back from admitting my daughter in the hospital for the 1st time and it really hurts me to see her struggle so much to gain control and just seems to make her mania worse. I have never seen her have such a bad manic episode. Typically I can soothe and calm the mania but not this time. Anyways I asked for a ball park figure of how long she would need to be there and the response was 5 -7 days. I do not see how this can be possible because I know a lot of BPD meds don’t have an immediate action, can take months to have any effect. So please anyone who has had to be in a hospital for a manic episode please let me know what time line to expect. I hate to ask people for personal info such as this but this is the only place I know I can get an answer. Thanks everyone. HelenM

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How did I find our I was diagnoses bipolar … Ha! That’s a good question! I’d had several breakdowns in years previous to a big one around 15 years ago, although they were never even diagnosed, let a lone treated, even for “depression.” During the earliest of them I was told to “pull yourself together” (British stiff upper lip …) which out me off going to a doc for any such advice for a long time again. Then, after sometime like 5-6 years, may be more of periodic depressions (and hypomanic episodes, although I didn;’t know them for what they were), including some suicidal thoughts, and what I now know was a big and rapid mood cycle during a visit to Poland in 1982, I finally had a massive depression hit me. Of course, I didn;’t intend to see a doctor, not after the previous experience. So, I thought I’d try a train, preferably under the wheels, instead. At the last few seconds a little voice said, “Why don’t you try a doctor again? And if that doesn’t work, come back here again.” So, I did. I collapsed in tears at the doctors surgery and thereafter the depression got deeper and deeper. I have NEVER known such depths before and I hope I never do so again. I was, for much of the time, not just avoiding people but walking very slowly with my eyes focused on the ground. Making eye contact with anyone was an emotional experience I just couldn’t take! I was dosed up by a pDoc with Prothiadin and then with Prozac. At the time, one of the pDocs said to me he thought I was probably “manic-depressive” but the consultant said this was not the case. Previous to this sudden collapse I’d been high as a kite, or even higher. I did some kind of senior management assessment and few through it with great confidence, which I wouldn’;t have done under normal circumstances. I had many episodes of extremely high productivity, such that when the collapse happened, the BIGGEST boss sent a card saying he hoped I’d be well soon and back to “firing on all 6 cylinders.” DIX cylinders, not four – my unusually high productivity had become expected. Eventually, over a period of YEARS, I got better. Even so, there followed many ups and downs, usually a low level depression and periods of high energy and productivity. But I got better enough to progress up the management ladder to become head of a small customer research unit within the bank. I was recognized by a head hunter to be the most experienced B2B customer research manager in the UK, and I was offered some extremely high salaried jobs at different places in the country, all of them well almost twice the salary the bank paid me. Over a period of time, I gained more and more responsibilities in the bank, with accountability for them. This was good, and it looked good on my CV, too. At one point I was managing (authorising expenditure and payments) for an annual budget of circa $2m at today’s rates.

Then it started … over several years, my authority was chipped away, not the responsibility! My budget not only withered to about $100k, eventually I couldn’t even authorised the purchase of a cup of coffee for someone visiting me! And the final straw was when some senior managers wanted me to interpret research and report it as they wanted it reported, not as the research data said … I wouldn’t do it, they put on the pressure and … SNAP. I felt a chemical depression coming on and shot over to my family doc a.s.a.p. because I sure as Hell didn’t want to go where I’d been before. I couldn’t cope with going there again. I;d have had to finish it. By this time I’d been on maintenance does of originally Prozac and then Cipramil since the last Big One. I suggested to the doc I ought to try something else because it felt like the Cipramil wasn’t going to be man enough to stave off the depression that I could feel was coming. He did. And I went Loopy-Loo! My moods were shooting up and down like every second. I cannot hope to describe the feelings adequately save that I was full of energy of a self-destructive kind and full of tears at the same time. It seemed impossible to stay in this body for a moment longer. However, I stuck it out over the weekend because I knew it was the meds that had done this and if I could just make it to the Monday I could see the doc and get this sorted. I did and he sent me strait to the CRISIS medical centre, By the time I got there the effects of the meds had almost worn off (I stopped taking them on the Saturday as soon as the amazing cycling episode started.) They referred me on to a pDoc. He looked through my old med records from the hospital and said, “They diagnosed you as Bipolar – you should NEVER have been given THAT anti depressant!”
THAT is when I first found out I was Bipolar … as it was the first time my family doc knew about it, too! A huge breakdown in communications, which damn near cost me my life, as it also cost something like 14 or so wrong treatment of anti depressants.

So, that is my story of when I first found out I was manic depressive. I had suspected as much before. Indeed, I had been told by someone who was severely manic depressive, and her psychotic schizophrenic friend in a hospital that I was BP some 30 years before, and I’d suggested this to a pDoc during my first Big One, but this was dismissed…

If the error could have been made with me, I wonder how many others this has happened to, and how many of them died before they could be diagnosed. I shan;t dwell on that thought for long. I’m depressed enough as it is!

WORLDWIDEWEBBER,
I AGREE WITH YOU THAT THER ALL SMALL SUCCESS STORIES AND THEN BIGGER ONES TOO. i MYSELF HAD 5 OR 6 MAJOR ANXIETY ATTACKS. i DO NOT NORMALLY HAVE THEM ANYMORE AT ALL,INFACT NONE INATLEST AYEAR. hOWEVER, THESE WERE SO BAD i REALLY FELT AS IF I WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK. nOW YESTERDAY WAS A VERY STRESSFUL DAY, WITHOUT A DOUBUT. tHAT STRESS WAS SOMETHING i HAD TO DEAL WITH OR i WOULDN’T HAVE PUT MYSELF THROUGH IT AT ALL. mY HUSBAND HAD TO STOP THE CAR SEVERAL TIMES TO LEST ME CALM DOWN. THEST STAED AT 10 A.M. AND CONTINUED PERIODICALLY UNTILL 4P.M. I FINALLY GAE UP AND TOOK A XANAX. iT DID WORK FOR THE ANXIETY. WHATELSE CAN I DO INSTEAD OF BENZODIAZAPEANS. I KNOW A FEW THING BUT SINCE YOU MENTIONED ANXIETY ATTACKS AND GETTING THROUGH THEM,I THUGHT YOU MAY HAVE SOME SUGGESTIONS. I TRIED BREATHING, I TRIED SITTING IN AQUIET RESTURANT FOR AWHILE (SINCE WE HAD TO BE OUT) i TRIED NOT TALKING ITRIED TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE. I HOPE YOU HAVE SUGGESTIONS I DON’T WANT TO DEPEND ON THAT PARTICULAR TYPE OF DRUG.

tHX IN ADVANCE FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ THIS, IF ANYONE HAS SUGGESTIONS I’LL TAKE ALL I CAN GET.

where is everybody? I haven’t seen a new blog for a couple days. well, HAPPY EASTER, early see ya later.

This is not in response to this particular e-mail. I have been stable with bipolar for 25 years. I did want to caution people who take lithium. I took it for 16 years and it damaged my kidneys. This is a side effect for some people. I had my kidney function checked every year and when the doctors found it, my function was down to 34%. I am on different meds but my function has deteriated to 22%. You’re close to dialysis at 10%. I feel good and have no pain but have to be very careful of what medicines I take such as over the counter, aspirin, excedrin, tylenol, etc. Thought this might be helpful to someone.

Sincerely, Frances Hammond, Virginia