Hi,
How’s it going today for you?
I hope you are doing well.
I was on the phone with someone who was using one of my f.ree consultations for non medical and non legal questions that you get with my courses below and I was telling this person about this important concept. So I want to tell you as well because it’s important.
So today I want to talk about something I call:
The Bipolar NEVER Attitude
This is something you should NEVER have.
These are things you should NEVER say.
Things like:
· My loved one will NEVER get better.
· I’m NEVER going to be a good supporter.
· We’re NEVER going to have a normal life.
· I’ll NEVER get back what I’ve lost.
· We’ll NEVER be like we used to be.
· I’ll NEVER be happy again.
· We’ll NEVER be able to manage my loved
one’s bipolar disorder.
· We’ll NEVER get through this.
· I’ll NEVER be able to face my friends.
· We’ll NEVER be able to go out in public.
· My loved one will NEVER be stable.
Have you found yourself saying or thinking these things?
Then you have a NEVER attitude!
See, it’s all in your attitude.
In my courses/systems below, I discuss attitudes and how important it is to have a positive attitude to have a positive outcome with bipolar disorder:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
But this attitude I’m talking about, I call this a bipolar NEVER attitude. And you should NEVER have this attitude. It could really hurt you and your loved one and especially your loved one’s recovery.
If you have the bipolar NEVER attitude, you are defeated before you ever start.
You may as well “throw in the towel” right now!
Wave the white flag!
GIVE UP!
Because you will NEVER win with the bipolar NEVER attitude.
NEVER should NEVER be a part of your vocabulary.
Unless…
(scroll down)
You say, “I’m NEVER going to give up!”
“I’m NEVER going to let bipolar disorder get the better of me or my loved one!”
“I’m NEVER going to be defeated!”
Now, THAT’S the RIGHT ATTITUDE!
See, your attitude makes all the difference in the world, especially to your loved one.
They take their cues from you.
So if they see that you feel defeated, then they will feel defeated as well.
If they see that you have the bipolar NEVER attitude, then they will learn it from you, and they will have the bipolar NEVER attitude, too.
But YOU can teach them to have a positive attitude.
You can teach them the RIGHT ATTITUDE!
Then, together, the two of you can manage your loved one’s bipolar disorder together, instead of it managing you! When it manages you that’s the worst. There are so many people that I know where the bipolar is in charge. It’s crazy. It use to be like that for my family forever until like 2005. Then we had a new way. A new system. I can tell you FOR SURE there is only one way that works. The way I just described.
Know what I mean?
Hey I have to take off. I will catch you later on.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Thanks, David! You always seem to come through with a pep talk when I need one. Tomorrow will be a better day.
Good morning!!!!!I can’t agree with you more.Thanks,Mr.Oliver……I’ll have to pass this one on also….
Dave,I don’t have the never attitude . but with all the meds i take and therapy i go to it’s getting worst. i’m in a epsoide right now where i have been up for almost a mouth with maybe 10 hours of sleep. I’m in school, I have my second book comming out soon, i should be thankful. i just want to go to sleep forever. i know i should call my doctor but she keeps giving pills and i still don’t sleep. what’ wrong here.
Hello David : )
I can’t thank you enough and tell how so very happy I am to have come across your newsletter. We are currently going through an episode and we love each other very much and I’m so very glad to see your encouraging words. Thank you, Cecelia
Good day!
Good day!
Great Advice, really, always be positive is part of the help we can give.
Thanks
Arnaldo
…”Never say never”…
Hi David
I just wanted to say thank you for all the words of wisdom, etc……it has helped me to be a better supporter for my husband. I do understand what you are saying about the NEVER attitude. I am a pretty happy go lucky type personality and am always laughing even when I should be crying and I try to keep things light in every situation (I will be married to my husband one year next month and he has almost succeeded in killing himself twice during htis time – mainly due to bad maintenance of his meds by his physicians). How do you turn someone around who quits at things because a doctor tells him theres no way around it? Example – my husband was recently put on lithium and was told by the doc that this would cause him to gain weight. I have been trying to get my husband to go walking with me both for his weight and for his heart and health, but he tells me it will do no good because the doc said the medicine will make him gain weight and theres nothing he can do about it. Also – he has pretty much let his bipolar disorder take over his life and just gives into it. He has never had good support from friends, family or anyone until now. They just took him as he was and then when he started causing choas due to manic or depressive episodes, they would just boot him out of their lives. He is a good man and I want him to live out the rest of his life happy – he is 51 yrs old – and I will try everything possible to achieve that goal – I would just appreciate any suggestions on how to make him feel like he is worth more than everyone has made him feel all his life.
I think its a great idea to stay away from the case of the “NEVER’s” but when you’re feeling so bad, changing your attitude and thoughts away from the “Never’s” is impossible.
I totally agree. Having the right attitude is crucial to the progress of anything.
You should never say never unless you are using it to say you will never keep yourself from the things or people you need and the ones that need you.
I would like to share ATTITUDE By: Charles Swindoll
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than the facts.
It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, that what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.
It will make or break a company… a church…a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the string we have and that is our ATTITUDE…
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
And so it is you… we are in charge of our attitudes.
Dave, thank you for keeping me focus on what is really important and helping me to implement real changes that are essential to the vision and healing solution to my outlook on recovery and growing.
Dave
I learned that attitude, the good one that is because I went through it with my wife and now my daughter. The never attitude comes hard if you give in to it. But when I was on my mission that I read a quote by Winston Churchill that goes something like this, mind it is not exact, ” We will never give up and never give in.” I hope I got that right but it is what I use in every day life. I did have at times those never days and when those attitudes tried to creep in, I got down on my knees and prayed that I would get the help I needed to be strong for my wife and family. The process is the same now for my daughter.
So I hope we will remember never give up never give in.
“NEVER SAY NEVER!” I LIKE that attitude!! Though there were times I have wanted to just crawl in bed and not think about my financial worries, and had turned them over to a bogus legal team, I’m now on TOP, working WITH the IRS and the State on my over-due taxes.
I just woke up one morning and said – “If it’s going to get done – I HAVE to do it.” Going into depression is NOT an option. Thank God I have the energy NOW to get things done. I’m STILL nervous in dealing with authorities – shallow breath, “nervy,” confused – it’s worth it to get a suspension of the liens and levies, and an extension of the time I have to file.
Giving up is NEVER the answer to life’s problems. If you’re feeling well enough to tackle your problems – do it. If not, find the most intelligent and conscientious person you know, who can HELP you. Unfortunately, I have NO supporter in this; just “me, myself, and I.” BUT – I have the confidence that I CAN do this.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good.
I have learned throughout life not to use two terms…”Never” and “Always” because neither of them are 100 percent true all the time. If you are criticizing your loved one, for example, don’t say “You ALWAYS do this, or you NEVER do that”, because those are absolutes, and if they deviated from this even ONCE, then it is incorrect to use these terms.
It is safer to stay in the “grey” area, away from absolutes like “NEVER”. It is too negative!
“Never” and “Always” are the extremes…
Dear Dave,
Thank you for the encouraging words every day. I always have a positive attitude about any problems I have. I keep saying to my self that everything will be OK. According to Al Quran, every desease has the medicines for it. Every problem has solution. What we have to do is to keep searching and doing the correct action until we are succeded patiently. Anything happened to you there is always the reasons behind it. Be positive attitude to your GOD, then He will help you in your searhing and efforts. For those bipolar collegues who can not sleep, do meditation, surrendering all the problems to him, because those all belong to Him. Let Him help you to find the solution.
See you tomorrow,
Hi David and dear friends
Eleanor Roseveldt and I quote: “No one can hurt you without your consent”.
The words of Ghandi: ” They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them. It is our willing permission, our consent to what happen to us, that hurts us far than what happens to us in the first place. I admit this is very hard to accept emotionally, especially if we have had years and years of explaining our misery in the name of circumstances or someone else’s behaviour. But until a person can say deeply and honestly, “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday”, that person cannot say “I choose otherwise”.
IF YOU KEEP SAYING YOU’RE ALWAYS BROKE, GUESS WHAT?
YOU’LL ALWAYS BE BROKE
IF YOU SAY YOU CAN’T TRUST ANYBODY,
YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE
TO HURT AND BETRAY YOU.
IF YOU KEEP SAYING YOU CAN’T FIND A JOB,
YOU WILL REMAIN UNEMPLOYED.
IF YOU KEEP SAYING YOU CAN’T FIND SOMEONE
TO LOVE OR BELIEVE IN YOU,
OUR VERY THOUGHTS WILL ATTRACT MORE
EXPERIENCES TO CONFIRM YOUR BELIEFS.
TURN YOUR THOUGHTS AND CONVERSATIONS AROUND TO ME
MORE POSITIVE
AND POWER PACKED WITH FAITH, HOPE, LOVE AND ACTION.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN
HAVE WHAT YOU WANT AND DESERVE
Dear David
Thank you so much for the information AND all the letter which I receive from you. I would like to know how do you get a bipolar person to the doctor.
Regards Vera.
Vicki
Sometimes the bipolar sufferer makes themselves feel bad/worthless, no matter what the supporters do to make them feel like they are worth it.