Hi,
How’s it going today?
I am feeling a little better. Thanks to everyone who is wishing me a speedy recovery of this sore throat and cough.
I wanted to ask you.
Have you seen those commercials that say Things like:
Car: $20,000
Vacation: $5,000
Food for Vacation: $1,000
Smile on Kids’ Faces on Vacation: Priceless
———————————————–
Well, I know living with a loved one who has bipolar disorder is not an easy thing. Much of your time is spent dealing with the “big stuff” of the disorder.
But like the commercials, you also need to take time to be grateful for the small things.
Be grateful today that:
· Your loved one is healthy
· They are alive
· They are taking their medication
· They are following their treatment plan
· They are seeing their doctors, etc.
· They are not in an episode
· They are not in the hospital
· They care about you
· You love them
· They are not sleeping all the time
· They are productive
· They have something to live for
· They have accepted their disorder
· You are healthy
· You are alive
· You have something to live for
· You are loved
· Your family is ok
· You can stop and smell the roses
· You have a good life
You may have a car, home, money in the bank.
You may have material possessions.
But those things on the list above.
Those things are priceless.
Today I want you to think about those things. And I want you to be grateful for the small things.
Because, being a supporter of a loved one with bipolar disorder, you didn’t always have those things, did you?
In my courses/systems below, I talk about having a positive attitude, and how much that can help when you’re dealing with the hard issues:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
Being grateful helps you to keep that positive attitude. And having a positive attitude is a must when you’re dealing with bipolar disorder.
Some people even make a Gratitude List, especially when they’re feeling down.
Now this can go for both supporters and their loved ones.
You just put down all the things you’re grateful for. You can start with the things I’ve listed above, and then you can go from there.
I listed the “priceless” things. But then you can add your possessions, as well, because you should be grateful for them as well.
And I didn’t add anything about children, but you can add them, too.
The important thing is that you not only be grateful for the big things in your life, but the small things as well.
And that gratitude helps you keep a positive attitude.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Nice one, David.
Just don’t try telling someone with BP in a depressed episode to count their blessings!! Lol!
This was a very encouraging post David. I have forwarded it to my loved one. Hopefully this will stop us from quarelling over the three dogs, two cats and a turtle that we have (no children)…and be at least a bit content for all the positive things. I have B/P Type II, and he is my supporter. We have our problems, but generally get along. He is receptive to anything I send him, and today’s topic is really relevant. Thanks Dave!! Sometimes we do get caught up in life’s daily problems, and tend to forget to look at the big picture.
Good Morning David,
I just want to say thank you for the wonderful e-mail
this morning about being thankful for little things,
We never know from one day to another what comes
our way, things are going well right now and I just
thank the Lord for that, but I also thank God for you.
I appreciate all your e-mails, keep up the good work,
and I am glad to hear that you are feeling better,
Don’t let people get you down, God has you there for
a good reason, you are helping so many people.
Maybe you don’t realize it but you are doing a wonderful
job. God Bless you. Sincerely, Darlene
David,
In your package for the Supporter of adult with bipolar, are the transcripts word for word of everything that is on the discs? I would prefer to read a book to bookmark sections than to listen to discs. I am thinking seriously about purchasing this package if that is the case.
My son is on a downward spiral and i am very frustrated.
Thanks for all of the help you offer us on a daily basis.
Ruth Ann
Dear Dave,
Thank you so for all of the information you have been sending me these few months, this has really help me with some of the issues I have had to deal with and really did not understand at all what really was going on.
now my sister and brothers are having to deal with my mother whom is in nad out of the hospital due to copd and her lungs just can’t seem to get too much air and her with her ups and downs. and she can’t remember who comes to see her or not and this is causing alot of fighting with all of her children. one seems to think they are doing all of the time with her, but we all are taking turns going to the hospital. Doing what we can and really trying to understand all that is going on.
so just wanted to let you know thanks for your dailey e-mails.
Thank you,
Donna
Dave just wanted to say, this is a “Wonderful comment””…..I know I am hard on myself and this whole article just hit me in the face.
It is a great reminder to us Bi-polar people to stay positive and to stay educated……
It does take time but we should remember we could still be sick or never have found the right medication to make us well. (some people don’t I know)’
So yes, staying positive is what we definitely need!!
Thanks for reminding me of all this.
Joni
I guess you don’t have a moderator today…I posted a comment at 8:55 am and it is now 12:08pm and it is still awaiting moderation?
Thanks David. As you know, life can be hard. What you’re doing is really wonderful. It helps more than I can say. There is so much confusion about bipolar disease. I feel like a part of a large group now instead of alone and confused about my daughter’s problem. You should know that she has two beautiful children, a good job, and a fairly good grasp of what is going on. Right now she is getting a divorce from a narrow minded abusive man. At least she has put andend to one vicious cycle in her life.
I have hope for the rest.
Thak you!
Thanks David, my husband is recently diagonalized with BP. He barely trusts me. I read this post and felt good first thing in the morning.
Note to Graham Nelson:
The other day, I was in a really depressed period, and my boyfriend said to me “Haven’t you got anything to be happy about?”….and I snapped back at him “Yeah, I’m happy I’m not friggin’ dead!!!!” and he went “Well, excuse me for trying to be positive” and left the room.
THe point is, you are right that b/p sufferers do not necessarily respond well to “Count your blessings” kind of pep talks when they are in a depressed state. But it is good to keep it somewhere in the back of your mind.
Thanks Mr.Oliver……May life bring you a reflection of the kindness and understanding you have shown to others.Be well..!!!!
Hi Dave
To remain positive if you have BPD it is not easy, because you always have negative thoughts. I feel worthless for not having a job and not being able to succeed in my future plans. My whole life I strive to be something (to help people in the same situation to do voluntary councelling and just to be there for whoever needs advice on BPD) as I have also done research and would like to share the information on all aspects from abuse, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, depression, etc. You are giving me that positive mindset into doing what I would enjoy doing. To be thankful for my health, understanding, humbleness, responsiveness by always be a joy to people who I come into contact with. I enjoy working with children as I have helping out at schools by assisting a clinical psychologist in voluntary councelling. It was a blessing and a joy to work with them helping in their needs. It is amazing how some children don’t even get time from their parents to assist them in their schoolwork, because they either both drink, passed on or both working. I can say with much gratitude that those children live in my heart. Your saying is so true that we sometimes have a lot to be thankful for. I thank the Lord,my husband, children and family and friends for being with me all the way.
Thank you Dave
good afternoon dave, im glad you feel better and i really need to thank you for your e-mail today 8/12/2008 because everything you said hits home here like everything i read from you helps me in one way or another and im truly greatful for everything i get out of your e-mails thank you again and again and please keep up the great work your doing its really helping me understand alot of things and helping me to know how to handle things when they come thanks again your friend beverly.
Dear David,
Our close-knit family in South Africa were only recently confronted with the sad news that one of my sons-in-law was diagnosed with BP. His moodswings from aggressive to jovial to severely depressed always perplexed us. For 20 years my daughter and her 3 children kept the worst from us and suffered in silence. Until 3 weeks ago when his buying of one property after another got them on the brink of bankruptcy, involving us as well, my daughter had to break the news. Next week he is going to a psychiatric clinic. We had a family meeting, and the others felt that linstead of looking for advice on the internet should, rather to seek the advice of the psychiatrist at the clinic and friends in the know.
I would have loved to order what you offer. because I believe your research and experience is valuable. But with the SA_US exchange rate it is too expensive. Also, perhaps you’ve heard of the credit card fraud rampant in this region. Even Amazon refuses to accept credit cards from Africa because fraud is so much worse here.
Thanks for your willingness to help, but I believe you will understand that I am forced to unsubscribe
Keep up the good work,
Rosalie
Aloha David,
What a wonderful email to wake up to this a.m. Thanks for starting our day off on the right foot!
Have an attitude of gratitude!! Of course, I realize that telling that to a depressed person with bipolar WON’T/CAN’T see the beauty in the “little things,” but for those of us who are highly functional, it DOES make a lot of sense to be grateful we are NOT in an episode at the MOMENT.
With all my financial problems with tax debt, I am still able to see the handiworks of our Lord, and the kindness in friends and strangers. Remaining proactive has allowed me to take care of those things that NEED taking care of, without forgetting all the GOOD things in my life. I STILL have my condo (thinking of getting a roomate to help with costs), my car, my computer, and all the things that make life worth living.
I’m glad you’re feeling much better, Dave; remember – take care of Number One, and then you’ll be able to be more able to take care of others. Your input on bipolar disorder – for both the survivors and the supporters – are what help keep most of us sane!
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good.
Is there anyone out there reading this that has purchased any of Dave’s packages? I would like to know if they feel they are worth the money and I was wondering if you felt they helped you.
I am thinking of ordering the package for supporters of adult bipolar’s. Thanks for any input you can give.
Ruth Ann
Hi Dave, thank you for your e-mail that I open this morning. You are very right, that we must be gratefull not only to biggest things, but also small things. This attitude is the foundation of Islam that should be adopted by every muslims. When you feel gratefull and gratitude to God and your family and those people around you, the happines is there. You feel happy every day. Wiathout the small things there is no big things. What ever God gives you, it must be the best for you…believe me. This attitude makes me survive to live in this world. Lots of dissappointment in your life have trained you to be positive thinking and patient.
I am glad to hear you are geatting better, and keep the good work. You are making a biger saving for the next future life if you do this only because you love your God.
Thank you
lina
To LINAWATI: How WONDERFUL to hear from our Moslem friends! God is ALL – He’s in nature, in the song of the birds, in the shade of the trees, in the sunrise and sunset. If everyone would be grateful just to get UP in the morning, and be grateful they made it through another night, and face the new day with HOPE, thanking God would be easy.
Thank you for writing; you are VERY wise.
thanks dave that was a thinker an when you have a bad dat it helps . an i have been thinking this is so hard but i rather have him like this then not have him at all tina
Hi,
Dave, your talking to someone who wrote a book on how to be grateful. While I must admit, it “WAS” impossible for me to stay grateful during depressive episodes, I have learned how to not let them “Move” me in a negative way. If you are in a depressive episode that is so bad that you cannot be grateful for anything, it would seem to me that perhaps it would be a good idea to talk to your doctors about it. I am a survivor of BPII, I was “VERY” suicidal for most of 13 years. I had my reasons, but by working with my psych. and my psychologist I “Worked” through what the medication couldn’t help me with. I have found that for me, if we tend to be depressive, adding a good reason to it only makes it worse.
If you can work through the problems that are making you depressed and ungrateful, and learn how to stay focused on the things we have to be grateful for between depressive episodes, our depressive episodes will not be as severe. With correct medication, and doing what I call “Mental Gymnastics” I have not acted on a suicidal thought in over 5 years. Now if I said the “thought” and the “feeling” that I wanted to die didn’t happen in 5 years, I would be lying. But, I know how to handle them, I know it is the bipolar disorder that makes me think and feel that way, AND, I AM able to force myself to think of things to be grateful for.
Was this easy? No. Did it take years to learn to do, yes. But I couldn’t do it without both proper medication AND psychology. I have a theory of Perceptivity, instead of the theory of relativity, for everything we have to be ungrateful for, or to complain about, there is some thing to be grateful for as well. If I stub my toe, at least I can walk, if I bump my head getting up, at least I can get up! If I crash my car, at least I have a car to drive to get in a crash in. If I have a partner who makes me mad, at least I have a partner, I could go on and on. And not only to mention those things, but we have clean drinkable water that we don’t have to hand pump from the ground, gas we don’t have to hand pump from the ground… We have a grocery store with a thousand kinds of foods we don’t have to hunt for or grow!
Once you see things from the perspective of gratitude, it is hard to stay negative. And in my opinion, there is no more important time for us to learn how to be and stay grateful than when we have a depressive episode. It does take practice, but working on this between episodes enables us to stay grateful through episodes. I am living proof!
God Speed to everyone seeking to learn to be grateful during a depression. I thought it was impossible before I learned “HOW” to do it too, but just because you don’t know “HOW” to do it, doesn’t mean it is impossible for you “TO” do it… A good psychologist can help…
Sincerely,
Bob
PS, I have Some of Dave’s materials and though they are expensive to me, it was very, very helpful…
Dear Dave,
This e-mail made me take a good look at myself and I am doing what I am supposed to be doing and am doing well. I was grateful you send that to me, I showed my husband and he said yea well your not in an episode right now. he is my only support system I have and basically he knows nothing about BD and doesn’t want too. If you have any suggestions I’d love to hear them
sincerely,
Melanie