Hi,
How’s it going?
I hope you are doing well.
Hey, I have to get going really quick today because I was at that seminar all weekend and I have done anything for work in like 2 days.
I wanted to tell you a funny story about the seminar that I went to. Yesterday I told you a funny story and today I have another one.
Just for a recap, I went to a business seminar over the weekend not in mental health but I met people who can help me accomplish various things with this mental health organization (like finding software vendors and tools to make things more efficient with the organization).
Anyway, I met a lot of really successful people. Even though it wasn’t a seminar on bipolar disorder, MANY people knew loved one’s with bipolar disorder.
Here’s the funny story. You know how there is an election in the United States (I say this because we have tens of thousands of international readers that might not know).
So the election is a big thing. They are saying it’s going to be the biggest election with turnout in many decades.
So lots of people are talking politics which I do NOT do. I don’t know a lot about politics. It’s hard enough for me to keep up with mental health stuff and all my other businesses and hobbies.
Anyway this guys is like, “who you voting for?”
Now I know for sure, if you answer this question you have a 50% chance of getting someone super mad at you.
I don’t want to argue about politics with people.
I am voting but not talking about who I am voting for because I am not 100% sure. I might be 99.9% sure but I am not 100% sure. So that means when people ask I can say, “I am not 100% sure yet.”
So I said, “I am not 100% sure yet.”
I thought the guy would just let it go and move on to something else.
He pressed me, “Why are you not sure?”
I said, “Because I don’t have all the answers to my questions.”
He said, “Ask me, I know EVERYTHING.”
I said, “really, do you know how to solve an equation with 7 unknown variables and there only being 10 total variables?”
He looked at me like I was crazy. He said “well I know EVERYTHING about both candidates not math equations.”
If you have been on my list for a while you know how I get when people try to back me in a corner lol So the guys says, “why don’t you know. Then he proceeded to bash a certain candidate and say that this person would basically do all these bad things to America”
So I said, “you know what sir (Note-If I call you sir, you’re in trouble probably), I do have a question, and if you could answer it, I would know who I was going to vote for.”
He said, “okay, what is it, then you better vote for and he told me who to vote for.”
I said, “I want to know where each candidate stands on the state of mental health in the US and how are they going to improve it. I want to know how they are going to lower the suicide stats for those with serious mental health issues like bipolar disorder because sir, I am sure a guy as smart as yourself knows that bipolar disorder affects more than 10% of the US population which is more than 30,000,000 people (NOTE that’s supporters AND survivors). What is each candidate going to do?”
He looked at me like I was crazy.
I said, “sir, you don’t think reducing death is important?”
You should have seen his face, I kept asking. I then I said, “Sir, why do you think people don’t care? I can tell you don’t care. Why haven’t you thought of this before I brought it up? You said you knew everything. How could you not know this?”
The guy looked down at the ground almost afraid, He then started to back away and walked away with his head down. I thought it was super funny!!!!!
So if someone asks you about politics and you don’t want to answer do what I did. lol
Okay, so after the seminar I had to go to the grocery store to get food for the week.
Now, this might seem weird, but I want you to think about the grocery store.
I want you to think about how you go up and down each aisle of the grocery store picking out items that you need.
Now, you’re choosy, because you only want the best for you and your loved one (and your family if you still have children living at home).
You’re also choosy about the price because, after all, there are other things to be considered when considering all these items in the grocery store aisles, aren’t there?
Then you go up to the check out and pay for each item that you need.
Then you bring all these grocery store items home, because you need these items to keep your home running well, and to feed you.
Ok, so what does this have to do with bipolar disorder?
I’ll tell you if you scroll down…
Keep scrolling….
I know, you think I’m teasing….
But there really is a connection…
Ok, you got me…
Here it is:
When you’re at the grocery store, you have an agenda. You have an objective. You may even have a list – either written down, or in your head – of what you need to get.
You pick different items according to your needs, right?
Well, we’re not robots, so not everyone picks the same items when they go to the grocery store (which is good, because I can’t stand asparagus!).
It’s the same with bipolar disorder.
Picking different items is like picking different ideas or techniques that work for your loved one.
And what works for one person may not work for another loved one (just like me not liking asparagus, where you might love it!).
In my courses/systems below, I discuss the negative side of support groups being that some people try to tell everyone else what to do – they think that just because some medication worked for their loved one, that it will work for yours as well:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
There are these type of people, who try to tell you how to manage your loved one’s disorder just because something worked for their loved one.
But that’s like telling you what to buy at the grocery store!
You should try different ideas and techniques with your loved one, because (especially at first) you don’t know what method will work. Each person is different.
Sometimes the simplest things will work. Like keeping your loved one’s medications at the side of the sink instead of the side of the bed.
What if you never tried a new food? How else would you know if you liked it or not?
You need to try new things with your loved one to see if they work or not.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
dave this is so true everyone keeps telling me what i need to do with my little one because it had worked for me but unfortunatly it is not the same with my daughter. I have found something that seems to be working for the minute but it is hard to tell if it will keep working. Last night for example she went to the neighbors to play and ended up getting bit by their dog it is not bad but usually she would cry at a drop of a hat but last night after getting bit she didn’t cry at all i know what i am doing can not be right it is like she doesn’t have any emotions now and i don’t like that so i am trying to figure out what to do if you have any thing that might help please let me know. What seems to be working for her seems to me like it has taken heer to far the other way. Thank you for everything that you are doing.
Dave, everthing that you say is very true my family (mom) keeps trying to tell me how tohelp my daughter by doing the exact same thing that she did to help me but it does not work i am trying to figure out something that will work for her(daughter) I thought i might have fgured it out but iwas wrong because now she went from one extreme to the other. Sje used to cry at the drop of a hat but now she doesn’t seem to cry at all even when she is hurt. If you have any ideas please let me know i am at my wits end.
Thank you for everything that you do keep up the good work. I also aplogize early if you get two of these because i don’t think the first one went through
Hi David
thanks for your letters of support ,i would like to know from you if there is any information on how to cope with a partner that has got bipolar and it did not work out.
Unfortunaly for me my wife has got all the singnes of bipolar and refused carry on with counseling ,Eventualy after six months of abuse i could not take it any more
Now i find my self drowning in gilt thinking i should have done more
Yours Laurent
David,
I find that your articles are sometimes interesting. It is 9:04 right now, I’ve bee up since 6, I have so far baked blue berry muffins, had breakfast, fed my dogs,read your article and now taking a few minutes
to write my response.
Since gas has gone to the explosion price range and groceries have done the same. I have found it difficult to do much cooking for just one person.
I sometimes freeze food due to the fact that when I do cook Its in large quanities. My veg soup always makes enough to feed a large group,
most of the times it can last as long as a week and still have some left
to freeze.
I didn’t use to like asparagus either. I hate mushy stuff in my mouth
and most of the time it is over cooked. I have finally found a proper
way to fix the stuff and not over cook it. So, I don’t love it but I can tolarate it as something different in my diet. If ? you make a sauce with
swiss cheese your tongue will slap your brains out.
I do like pickled beets. They are a good blood builder and they cleanse
the liver. I decided to fix chicken and dumplings the other day, Its a
dinner that country folks fix. I’m a “great” cook only I like my own cooking to well.(it shows)
Everytime I write something to your blog its says that I have already
responded to the particular article. Have a great day!
I’m in agreement with Laurent, David. Thank you so much for all the info and support that you provide but it is difficult to find information for those of us that are considering leaving our loved one when they dont seem to want to help themselves.
My BF of almost 2 years refuses to even consider bipolar as a possible reason for his extreme mood swings, irritablility, inability to sleep or sleeping too much, name calling, yelling, blaming everyone else for his unhappiness…. just to name a few of his symptoms.
When he missed a dr appt this morning, the dr called and told me that the only thing he can suggest is to get him to go to the ER and hope that they could get him in the psych ward for a couple of days to be evaluated and get him on some medication. But how does a supporter go about convincing their loved one that they need to go to the ER when, in their mind, there is nothing wrong with them?
I hate not being able to help him more but I feel that I’m to a point where there is nothing more I can do yet I keep searching for something that could just get him to take that first step. I love him dearly when he is himself but the “bipolar being” is a person that I dislike very much. And is it normal for someone that is bipolar to either love or to hate? Could that have something to do with their inability to cope with knowing they are hurting the people they love so its easier to run away than to deal with it? Any suggestions of things I could try would be greatly appreciated since I’m very close to the end of my rope.
David
Funny as it may sound , its 2:30 p.m. and nobody picked up on the Health quality issue.
And i will repeat the question , why does’nt the gouvernemant do more for general Health and special for Menthal health ?
Everybody is busy with economics , Well if there is A lack of Health , what will money do ?
As the saying goes , Health will get you money , but money will not get you health.
Lazar
Dave,
I just LOVE THIS STORY 🙂
Just wanted to let you know !!
Pat D
Zeeland, Mi
I AGREE with Patricia – LOL!!! I “learned” to like asparagus because it grew in our garden – “automatically!” Someone had planted it years ago, and it just sprouted up of its own accord. Just blanch it, and don’t let it go soft.
I won’t go into politics (in deference to your decision not to), but this IS the most important and crucial election in my lifetime (I’m 60). I remember JFK, and, even though I was only 12, he sparked my enthusiasm for politics. I worked myself up in what we call here the “grass roots,” starting with going door-to-door, phone banks, and rallies. What I learned about politics at an early age led, not only to my becoming Senior Class President, but working in Washington, D.C. for my Senator.
I just really WANT every American to get out next week, and VOTE (even if you don’t vote for my candidate). Just one vote can change an election; remember Bush in 2000??
BTW, I agree with Andrew Oliver Satchell 🙂
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. Please Vote!!!
It’ is true that those in the world of politics don’t care about anyone but themselves. I mean there are so many illnesses out there and mental illness is the cause of most suicides taking place. The facilities and the professional help are pathetic and all they care about is filling their own pockets. If you are not on medical aid you can forget about getting the care you need if you should be hospitalised. The public institutions are the worst because there are many that commit suicide in those places as they are being treated inhumane. I sometimes wish I can be of help, but how can I help others If I cannot be helped. So what do we do we must take each day as it comes and make the right choices. Be on the medication that work for us and remain positive.
Thanks Dave
Hi Dave , once again you are spot on! My 24 year old has been in and out of hospital for the last year and HOPEFULLY (I’m using that word a lot lately ) this time we are on the track to stability of some kind. My Husband keeps asking the Drs ( so many I’ve lost track) to “just give our son what I ( Dee ) am on” I am holding out for the day when our son continues his amazingly wonderful creative path in life and use his Uni Degree (with Honours ).
All I can say to everyone going through a loved ones first episode is keep holding on to what ever makes you strong , and
Dors, know that your loved one does not mean the harsh things they say,
the sometimes abuse, hold on to the person you love and what you love about them.
We are in NZ so our Mental Health systrem is different, but sometimes you will be fortunate to find one or two within the Public System who you click with and as in US they or some one close to them will be living with Mental Health Issues as well and therfore they will be better for us.