There is a *huge* difference between dealing with someone who has emotional swings and dealing with someone who is violent.

People who have emotional swings range between those who are annoying to those who are disruptive. People who are violent can physically harm you and all around you. Ignoring a spouse (for example) who hits children is criminal as is ignoring a spouse who hits you, whether you are male or female. Likewise, bringing a violent person into someone’s house under the guise “I can control him” is also criminal.

Allowing yourself to be harmed because of a hopeful “Gee, I try to keep this person on meds” is just plain lame. You must do better than that because there is a high probability that you’ll go down for your efforts.

In general, I believe that this topic is much too broad for David’s otherwise great articles on bi-polar. Why? Dealing with unusual (aggravating, annoying, yet often humorous) people is not the same as dealing with those who have with knife in hand, fist clenched, or pants down ready to rape.

Do I think there needs to be resources for people figuring out how to deal with and protect themselves from violence? Yes! For reading material, Google “battered spouse,” “family violence,” “battered sibling,” plus many more. And do you need to be proactive? Yes. Take action the minute you realize the pending situation. Are their easy answers? No. If there were, we wouldn’t have wars.

Hi Dave,

Great material. Thank you. And such a tragic story. Why does something terrible have to happen before people wake up and see this disease in full light. Even the person suffering with BP can’t see the waste of their own life. My 20 year old daughter refused to believe that she can be completely well and that everyone had to put up with her the way she was. Her meds were not working well at all and two nights ago she blew up at me and became quite violent with me. I had to call an ambulance and police to get her to the hospital. Now because of that she is finally going to be fully evaluated in two weeks. Here in Canada the medical system is not good for getting a psychiatrist. There is a 10 month waiting list. In the meantime I just hope for the best while I nurse my broken finger and bruised body.

Hello David,

I’m a new user and I really appreciate all that you do. Today’s story is sad but brings perspective to my situation. I am ending a 4 year relationship with a bi-polar type II. They really do become different people. He has been in (mostly) rapid cycling for the past two years, despite taking meds for 20 years. They stopped working. New ones were tried in 2006 with disastrous results, so his doctor increased his old dosage of the cocktail. Nonetheless, he has been all over the map, and like that story is often a very different man than the one I fell in love with. Like your mother, he blames me for much of it. And often, I’ve found he has been out of one or more meds when there have been the biggest rows. But when I ask him to commit to the meds, he says that isn’t the problem – that it’s me. So, we’re moving on. But I want to understand what happened, as in this relationship, I’ve had my first bout of depression. So thank you for this info. It has made me feel more “sane”.
Kind regards – Lisa E.

How does someone get meds for a bipolar patient who can’t afford them? Kansas state aid cut off his (the patient’s) medical aid and now we can’t afford meds. What will happen after a few weeks is anyone’s guess.

I just recently found your website and I can’t read enough fast enough. There seems to be little that you don’t know and I have been reading about Bipolar Disorder for several years. You don’t leave anything out and I am so impressed and so greatful to have found you. I am hoping that your articles are going to make my life easier along with the lives of my three children and my granddaughter.Thank you, thank you!!

This comment has been removed by the author.

Hi Dave,

What a sad story about the son killing his father! Do you think bipolars will take heed? Or when they start feeling good again, they’ll pitch that medicine becuase everyone else must be crazy, not them. It’s exasperating.

Perphila, I guess your (ex)husband will deny that his children could ever get bipolar from him, since he’s in denial about even having it himself! I’m sure you’re frustrated. Don’t hold your breath waiting for him to accept it. And don’t expect him to do research on behalf of his children.

glad you got the good write up. You deserve it for all the good work you do. The more the word gets out,the better for all of us.Another senseless death chalked up to not taking meds. The disease is cunning,baffling, and powerful;but most of all patient.

God that’s so horrible. I just must live in a dream world myself. Praying that nothing like that will happen in my own family.. My daughter knows her father is bipolar but doesn’t really understand because she is probably bipolar too. She hasn’t been diagnosed because she won’t go to another therapist.. She took herself off zoloft, without me knowing. She was cutting herself but says, she won’t if her Dad will buy her cigarettes. He smokes cigars and says he understands because it calms him too. She is 15 and drinking,and smoking weed and struggling in school, now that she was allowed back in after stealing snacks from a teacher and attempting to sell some pills she didn’t even have. After being home schooled for 2 years after her father left home and moved on Fathers Day, she tried to get back into public school because we sold our old house and moved to another town with him. He’s bipolar and everything has gone downhill after we moved in with him.. I’m used up, this caregiver thing is too much for a menopausal woman who’s mother is very ill and can’t even tear herself away from the constant caregiving of my husband and daughter to spend any time with her at all, she probably doesn’t have much time left, she has chronic emphysema and congestive heart failure. Pray for us anyone. It’s too much. Anyway, my heart goes out to that family, its so horrible, people who don’t know anyone with this kind of mental illness really can’t understand what its like and are not educated and mostly, I think, really don’t want to be bothered with it. Enough is Enough, Thanks for all you do Dave.

Hi, I found Davids program on yahoo search for Bipolar help. I was very drawn to his story because my mother also has bipolar in addition to schitzoeffective personality disorder.

She has used meditation and had a therapist and a Psychiatrist since I can remember(I’m 37 and mom is 64). My mom’s problem is she goes into a manic for a number of reasons but the one I am most concerned about is the desire to feel her feelings and not be so flat.

She is spiritual person and has claimed healing many times and will go off her medicine. That has always proven to be wrong.

My mom misses her highs and wants to experience her childish self again.

Even when she got treatment last time 3yrs ago through a psychiatric instatute she still lingered in another personality while medicated after she was released.

Her current episode started with the testing of healing she got her doctor to change her medicine to increase her antidepressants to an abusive level because she started to get depressed after having a great time with her sister out of state.

I discovered she was using it to have more feeling and inspiration for her new hobbie-Painting-which some look textbook for schitzoprenia patients and avoid what issues come up with depression.

I noticed her absurdity creeping up again and was in contact with her doctor about her behavior after I told her she was acting absurd. My sister was able to go to the appointment with her and the Dr. perscribed a new drug to her that made her feellike she was having a heart attack(which she has never had).

This started her hate for her doctor and now wants to sue him. She will not see any Psychiatrist now. And askes why we don’t believe she is healed.

She is ruining her life right now and refuses help. She says we are abandoning her but the fact is me and my siblings have worked like a tight running machine and kept in contact much more through this whole thing and it couldn’t be further from the truth.

But now that we have tried all other techniques, like “help us understand why she thinks she is healed” so we can get her in front of a clinical therapist. But she knows how to answer all the questions in her evaluations so she cannot get committed.

We need a different technique and are willing to hear of some stratigies out there to get medical help so she is not so overpowered by her feelings.

We are also willing to pay for Davids program if it offers some stratigies as well for pulling a long time bipolar out of a manic before she crashes. We have been advised by her nonlicences therapist that this may be what needs to happen.

But good grief how much damage does she have to do before the state will take over? Our state law says that she needs to present herself to an evaluating clinician that she is homicidal or suicidal.

She will tell us kids that she has these thoughts but when she is evaluated she lies. So she is released.

David, do you know how we can get around this? Either by using better legal lingo or just another approach altogether?

We love our mom very much but we are tired and it is eating away at us through the day and night. We know God has protected her all her life but we can’t handle her living reckless like this any longer. It is very selfish and gives other people with bipolar a bad name. And it is a terrible example to us and her grand kids.

Thanks for listening…Noel

Dave unfortunately I know a lot of people that play the bipolar med game. Someone puts it in their head that they don’t need them and then the unthinkable happens. I don’t know how many times I’ve told a friend not to go off their meds. They do it anyhow then they’re fighting with the family, turning to other drugs/alcohol for comfort. then the next thing they know is they are being admitted to a psych ward to get regulated on their meds again. It is very important for anyone with a mental disability and are on meds so’s to function in society to stay on their meds. I myself, if I’m out of anyone of my three meds, I’m a walking time bomb. I had an incident a year after I got fired from my job and told people it was a good thing I didn’t have access to a car because the 2 people that helped me get fired, I wasn’t sure if I would stop if I saw them on the street. I was waiting for one of my meds to be delivered to me. So as you can see it is imperitive that anyone with a mental diagnosis stay on their meds. My heart goes out to the boy and his mom. It’s such a tragedy and I hope he learned from it. I think I’ve said enough, I could go on and on. I subcribed to this site because a lot of people around me are bipolar.
God Bless All,
Lesley