==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
Hey,
How’s it going? I have a super important
mistake to tell you about that many
people coping and dealing with bipolar
disorder make.
Before I get started, I must say,
boy it’s sure been a super busy day for
me this past week.
I have been working a ton across
all the businesses that I have. I have
had a lot of problems in one particular
business that I am working to fix.
Yesterday I was getting another car
because my current car had a bunch of
issues. I must say, I learned a ton
about the ins and outs of car dealerships
that YOU could apply to coping and dealing
with bipolar disorder.
That’s right. A bunch of things that I learned
from this car insider, you can directly apply
to helping yourself with bipolar disorder or
helping a loved one.
I am writing it all up and will be sending it
out next week f.ree of charge to you.
Some really powerful stuff. It’s amazing
how what the guy told me about concerning
car dealership applies DIRECTLY to bipolar
disorder. Amazing and I am going to share
with you so don’t worry.
Getting a car is such a scam most of the time
that I seriously wish that I could teach
you everything that I know but this isn’t
the forum to do it because this isn’t a
car buying email service. All I can
say if you have to get a car, be careful!!!
I almost got totally ripped off yesterday.
Anyway, I wanted to jump into a super
important topic with bipolar disorder.
I mean it’s SUPER IMPORTANT. I want
you to read this carefully. It’s
important but simple. But many times
the most simple things are the most
powerful with bipolar disorder. Like
going to bed early at a certain time
every night is simple but powerful
with bipolar disorder.
Anyway, let me tell you a quick story
about something that happen to me.
You might not know or remember but a few
months ago I moved. It was a total night
mare with dealing with the gas people,
the water people, the other people
that all were difficult. Pains in
my rear end.
So the place where I moved to was like
20 minutes away from where I use to be.
I use to go to this bank where I use to
live that was right down the street. The people
were SUPER nice. Anything I needed they helped
me get. They were like friends or partners.
Well I couldn’t go to the old branch because
it was too far away.
BIG BIPOLAR LESSON COMING SOON, PLEASE READ ON
So I went to the new branch. When I first
went to the new branch, people were not
helpful at all. No one was really friendly.
I noticed that the people in the bank only talked
to themselves and not to customers really. It kind
of reminded me a high school group of insiders.
So one day, I went into the drive through to
cash a $20 (twenty) check. I waited 16 minutes
in the drive through. I waited. Finally the lady
said they didn’t have a signature card for me on
file. So then I sent my drives license to show
it was really me and they could look at me,
see who owned the account and connect it all :).
The person came back and said that they had to
get a signature card from my main branch. I was
SUPER MAD!
I drove around and went inside mad and said,
“what the heck, it’s my money.” They gave me
a long story and were kind of mean. Finally
I called the other branch and spoke to the
branch manager I had known for a long time.
She was annoyed and call and told them to
give me my money. She also sent a copy
of the signature card so they would have
it on file.
I was super mad about the entire thing. But
there’s an important bipolar lesson to be
learned.
Then another time, I went to the bank. I needed
a deposit slip. I asked if they could make me
some. The guy got mad and kind of threw them at
me.
The final time was when I went there last week.
I went to cash a check. They said they couldn’t
read my signature after 12 minutes in the drive
through line.
I went inside super mad and they said sorry.
Then I asked if they could make another check
and I would resign it. The lady said she wasn’t
sure. I took my check and left. I went to
a different branch that was further away
and they handled it.
I decided I am never going to go to that
branch again because they are not helpful
and are never there when I need them.
So what does this all have to do with bipolar
disorder?
Many times, people with bipolar disorder or
those who are supporters are working with
difficult people they don’t have to.
Let’s talk about the pharmacy for one. Some
pharmacies are great. They are helpful.
They get things done. Their prices are great. They
will call your doctor. They will get things done
fast. They will be there for you when you need
them.
My mom worked with a pharmacy once that was
horrible. They mistreated her. They constantly
took long to fill prescriptions. They wouldn’t
let her know important things about medications.
My dad and I strongly encouraged her to leave.
She did and went to another one 5 minutes further away.
There are EXCELLENT! And then know bipolar disorder
very well.
Other people that I hear time and time again
are a problem is bipolar doctors, bipolar doctor’s
receptionists, social workers, therapists and
also vocation job coaches.
I am NOT an attorney, doctor, therapist or other
kind of professional and what I am about to
say is my opinion.
If you are working with someone who is not helpful
at all, is not there for you, gives you a hard
time, doesn’t treat you with respect, you should
consider finding someone else.
For some reason, other the years, my mom worked
with so many different people that were suppose
to be theoretically partners with her and helping
her get better with bipolar disorder and they
were really not anything but totally unhelpful.
My mom kind of felt she was stuck with
bad people. I asked her yesterday why she
always thought that and she said, she just
didn’t know. She said that she never
really thought there were good people out
there.
Some of these people made her situation with
bipolar disorder twice as difficult. After I
started helping her, I started to encourage her
to reevaluate who was good and who was bad.
Just like with my bank. The old bank I went
to was great. The new bank branch was terrible.
They caused me a lot of grief and hassle and
probably would for the rest of my life.
That’s why I am going to a different branch or
will be leaving the bank all together.
In my systems/courses, you notice that I talk
about the importance of finding all different
people that will be important to helping
yourself with bipolar disorder or helping
your loved one.
People like doctors, therapists, financial people,
lawyers, etc. Not only do I say it’s important
but I tell you how to find these people in
my material below.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
I am amazed at how people just don’t try
to find good people or how they sit and
take bad treatment or people who don’t
care.
Good providers or I like to call them
partners are key! They are a partner
in you our your loved one’s success with
bipolar disorder.
There are a bunch of people on my list that
don’t think there are any good people
out there that can help them with bipolar
disorder.
I hope a few people on my list comment
on my blog about the difference between
good doctors and bad doctors, good bipolar
therapists and bad bipolar therapists,
good bipolar pharmacies and bad bipolar
pharmacies, etc.
There’s a huge difference. Don’t get mistreated
like I was at the bank. There is a saying
in the United States–“VOTE WITH YOUR FEET.”
But, make sure you have a plan and
run your plan by your doctor or therapist. Hopefully
you have one of the two that is helpful so
you can get feedback on your plan of finding
someone else if you need to.
So, when you are mistreated find someone who
will treat you like you want to be treated.
ONE LAST THING!
Don’t ever let someone talk down to you
because you have bipolar disorder. This is
another common occurrence with those that
are ignorant.
Okay I have to run off to the gym. Catcha you
tomorrow. Have a great day!!!!!
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
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Hello,
Eight years ago my life fell apart. There had been a lot of traumatic experiences and losses during a short time.
I had what might be defined as a “nervous breakdown”. All my life I’ve had depression on & off. I used to say,”I wonder why I never feel even keel, I’m either really up or really down, no in-between.
I said this to Drs., and therapists. No one paid attention they just gave me a script for an anti-depressant. The Dr. I had gone to for years just kept giving me different anti-depressants when I told him I was getting worse. ( I repeated over & over that I just knew I had Bipolar. (I did a lot of research myself) I also had developed anxiety/panic disorder. He gave me an anti-anxiety medication. Then I developed agorophobia. Things became progressivly worse. I had started seeing a Psychologist who basically was a friend I paid.
She had very little knowledge about Bipolar.
Why did I continue to see these people for years??? Because I had lost everything I ever worked for by then. (I had had a long and successful career) It was too overwhelming to think about trying to find anyone else. I had no support system. All my friends left and my family didn’t understand either, why I wasn’t just snapping out of it. My son at the time was too young, as he grew older he helped as best he could and brought a dear friend into my life, who helped immensely and I started reconciling with other members of my family)
I lost eight years of my life. It’s only been recently that I was diagnosed by a Psychiatrist who specializes in Bipolar. And I’m in Psychotherapy.
I was also on the wrong medication. I’m now on the right meds as well. And my family is coming around to a point.
I’m definetly on the road to recovery and learning to live with the illness. (I quit going to both my Dr. and the therapist)
Because I had no support system and being grossly under-treated I could barely get out of bed, let alone function.
I am lucky that I have Bipolar 1 and did not have severe episodes. When I was depressive, I was just as low as you can get, very very painful. In the manic phase, I talked fast, had a million ideas, felt super self-confident. Sometimes all in one day.
It’s still a daily battle. But, as I said I’m doing much better.
To those of you who have support, make sure you keep them apprised of what’s going on with all treatment. And count your blessings. Don’t settle for Drs., therapists or anyone for that matter who won’t listen or who tells you, “oh just snap out of it already”.
Tks Dave for all you do.
Paula from Mi.
I have a comment about pharmacies. I have very good insurance and one day, a BIG chain pharmacy was messing with my medications. I had to go back 3 times for about 20 minutes each time. Then, they wanted $1,000 for my meds. One THOUSAND dollars!! And, I have insurance! I asked them to call the pharmacy and twice (two different days) they refused.
So, I went back to my doc and told him and he wrote me 3 month prescriptions that I could send to the mail-in pharmacy. That pharmacy sent me the same medications only for 3 months worth at $80.
Sometimes when I’m depressed I don’t want to go the extra mile to get help. Sometimes, when I’m angry I think I can’t lose my temper or people will atribute it to mania. I was angry with the first pharmacy but all I told them was that they could keep their meds and I would go somewhere else. Still, I was angry for days.
To this day, I just don’t understand why health care providers don’t provide the health care they are paid to provide.
Christine Houston TX
Well ppl with Bi-Polar disorder are not second class citizens. I am a Registered Nurse from Canada.I am presently on a course of Lithium since Sept.14/07. My Dr feels I show signs of manic phase of this disorder now. He feels it surfaced since been on another anti-depressant since last year called Effexor. Dr has known me over 25 years now. We are close in age. In past he has seen only the depressive side of me, however, of late I have had insomnia, high activity, and chatting a lot. What triggered this possible Diagnosis was my visit to Emerg Dept with c/o swelling in feet and felt all i needed was an extra low dose of lasix to release fluid . I was having pain, it was a Friday night before the Labor Day Wkd . I was worried that i would have more trouble as i had to work the 3 following eves. Felt if i had lasix and put my feet up i would be ok for work. However, also c/o that had insomnia past while and Emerg Dr notice i was wide awake and talking quickly and alot. She asked me if I had ever been Diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder. I said No and said I had a history of Depression only. Apparantly the Note she sent my Dr revealed her findings. Needless to say the Dr stated I should stay off my feet for at least the weekend and see my own Dr on Monday . So she wrote a sick leave note for me. I saw my MD Monday and he spoke with me as well and wanted to consult with a psychiatist on my case first before making any med changes. This was done plus more bloodwork. By Friday i was Started on Lithium 150 mg at bedtime and decreased dose of my Effexor to 112.5 mg from 150 mg in ams. A week later the lithium increased to 300 mg at bedtime and Effexor down to 75 mg in am . That is where i am now David. However, due to loss of work over the past year 18 days in 9 mos 7 of them in Sept , i am being disciplined with lost of 3 days work and 1 office day and not to return without a Medical Certif. Dr and I discussed this, as i did miss another day the morning after i took first dose of 300 mg Lithium. I had also taken an immovane to help me sleep. But following am Sept 22 i was a mess, weepy, crying for no reason, and feeling anxious and vulnerable. I called in sick on that Saturday. Thats what started the warning and discipline as too much work being missed over the year. Staff upset with me as putting them under more stress as well trying to cover my shift. We are short staffed at present. Also took my project away from me Working on Palliative Care program for the Home. So all in all it was decided that i not return but take a sick leave of absence. As if i did return and missed one more day in the next 3 mos i would be terminated. As the tetering of Lithium dose not yet complete i could very well have an episode again and Dr doesnt want me to take the chance and lose my job. i agree. I feel fine now, mood is even and feel happy. But next drug assessment is Oct 11 and blood work prior to that will indicate if the lithium at optimal levelin my blood. If so then no more dose changing. Also takes a blood level of TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) as may decrease when on Lithium thus causing wt gain. If this happens then I get a supplement to counteract that side effect.
Yes, theres a lot to learn David and Im just beginning my journey. im not confirmed Bi-
Polar as yet. I also have an appt with a Psychiatrist to consult with. My sick leave hopefully will be over by Oct 16/07 and I can return to work. Thanks for listening.
please ktell me how to get off this email list. ehegeman@pipeline.com
my hole life I have been taking care by my family, my mom would not even alow me to cook, my dady used to say “not to worry my baby I will take care of you all your life, you dont have to study if you dont want” my sister even sometimes would come and cook to my husband, and my husband will not alow me to work, so I kind of would not know when a person is being rud or they just have a way of talking , so how can I see the diference?
HI Dave,
I am doing very well now so often I dont read every single email of yours as i am currently overseas recuperating so lots of other friends email. all i wanna say is that when i do read one these past few weeks it is so apt it is unbelieveable…you know why? cause I have a God who leads directs and guides. does your mum believe in God??
Hi, Dave:
I have a very good Dr. and the world’s best therapist right now. But it took years of working with really bad ones to get me here.
I was treated for unipolar depression for many years, and I had no idea that I could be bipolar. So I got manic. The Dr. I was working with at the time started treating me for bipolar (he put me on Depakote, Klonopin and Prozac). We worked well together for 10 years. Then one day I called his office asking for a prescription for Lithium (I had to stop the Depakote because of liver problems found in bloodwork).The fact that I called him showed that I had insight and was appropriately seeking help. I talked to his nurse. She told me that the Dr. wanted me to go to the hospital. I couldn’t believe it! He hadn’t seen me or even spoken with me; I begged and begged not to go to the hospital, saying that I wasn’t suicidal or homicidal and would be much more comfortable at home – I only wanted to start on Lithium. Next thing I knew the cops were at my door to escort me to the ER. The Dr. had “pink slipped” me. I don’t even think that’s legal, since he hadn’t spoken with me personally and I wasn’t in danger. I cried and cried; I was a psychiatric nurse and I knew that there was nothing I could do about it. Fortunately, when the Dr. who saw me in the hospital, he listened to me, read the pink slip and my chart, and immediately discharged me. But the whole thing was traumatic. Even though I felt that this Dr. cared and we had worked together for so long, I decided then and there that i would NEVER see a psychiatrist again; I just couldn’t risk having my freedom taken from me so arbitrarily. I don’t know – I may have been able to sue this Dr. (but it’s hard for psych patients to sue because they ARE psych pts. I knew I needed my meds, and that a psychiatrist was the best person to prscribe them (being a specialist), but I still refuse to see one. Luckily, my family practice Dr. agreed to prescribe my meds for me, got me on Lithium, and I stabilized. I wouldn’t advise this – I really think that a psychiatrist is the best MD to prescribe psych meds. It’s just that this experience had totally turned me off on shrinks. I totally lucked out because my family practice Dr. is knowledgeable about bipolar and is willing to help me, under the condition that I let her know right away if I’m having symptoms of coming into an episode. She also is willing to work closely with my therapist (in fact she insisted on it).
As for my therapist… I had had many, many counselors over the years, and none of them helped at all. They seemed bored when I talked and had nothing helpful to say. Then I got a referral for a cognitve therapist. Not only is she very knowledgeable, but she cares. She listens to every word I say and we problem solve together until we find something that works. She has taken emergency phone calls from me in the middle of the night many times over these ten years, and even set up a personal e-mail account so I can “journal” every day; she prints them out every week before our session and we go over them. She’s extremely smart, is very insightful and creative, and I feel like she really values me as a human being. She has saved my life many times. I’m more stable now. But I know she’s always there when I need her (always answers her pages immediately).
So, for me, it’s been trial and error and luck. I feel so lucky.
I know that most bipolar people don’t have the support system that I do. All I can say is, don’t waste your time with people who seem disinterested or who are not knowledgable. Move on – try another one. Sometimes a good way to find a good doctor is to get a recommendation from another bipolar patient. And in general, it isn’t wise to get your meds from a family doctor. It just has to be that way for me and, thank God, it’s working out.
I would like to thank you for all of your information, it has helped me on how to deal, and help my son who suffers from bipolar disorder he was dignoesed at the age of eighteen, while in college. he has had his up and downs , but by the grace of god he is doing well today. I am truely thankful for your website. It has inlighten me very much, thank you and keep up the good work, and god bless you, and your mom and family. Ms. Francine Taborn, Brooklym, New York 11213. Fireeyss@aol.com. is my email address. Have a wonderfu; day.
Dear David,
I have experienced the same thing with dealing with unfriendly people. Just the other day I had a horrible experience with my cable company. I got so frustrated that I started crying on the phone with the customer rep. It ruined my whole day. I have dealt with Doctors, lawyers, & friends who have treated me really bad but I stuck around because I thought I had to because their was no one else. It got to the point were I almost lost my mine and my life dealing with those unhealthy people. My psychiatrist, and neurologists were only medicating me and not being consistent with my therapy. They had me taking so much medicine I almost died. They didn’t care to see if any of the medicines I was taking would have any drug interactions. It wasn’t until I started wrecking my car and passing out outside that my family knew something was wrong. I had to go to detox and they tried to put me in a medical facility for help. I wasn’t in my right mind. I was hallucinating and sleeping 15hrs a day. I couldn’t even take care of my kids let alone myself. I was doing everything that my doctors told me to do. Most of them don’t care they just want your money. My friends were the same way. They would intentionally do things to hurt me when I never did anything but be a good friend to them. Even though I a medical problem I wouldn’t show it. I hurt everyday but I would put myself together everyday because if I looked good I would feel better. Besides if my kids seen me put together they wouldn’t worry so much about me. My friends would talk about me and say that their was nothing wrong with me. I just didn’t want to work. That was not the case. I’ve worked all my life and not working makes me feel non productive. Its hard on me not doing something constructive. My friends & family made it hard on me. Here I was trying to help myself and do things to make me feel better even though I struggled everyday just to get through the day. Looks can be decieving. I would have to put on a front everyday so people wouldn’t see how I really felt. After awhile I started cutting everybody off who wasn’t good for me. I changed Doctors, lawyers, friends and family members. Now that I’ve been having episodes they see why I did the things that I did. Its still hard sometimes because I have no support. I look forward to the emails that I receive from you because you understand what I go through because you had to deal with your mom. I wish I could afford your course, but unfortunately I’m a single parent with limited funds. Thank you so much for the free info that you send.
Vodaka Watkins
Thanks for your email regarding the people we deal with while supporting the bipolar people in our lives. I am concentrating my effort on my daughter as she is young and we can change the future for her. You may agree or disagree with what I have done but I can’t help but feel after weighing out her past treatment, to her present it is worth a try. My daughter was taking 22 pills a day for bipolar, back pain, and sleeping. I have taken her to an alternative health clinic and he deals with her blood and what is happening in her body. Its petty cool to see her walk in with no “hope” to walk out and make major decisions in her life on her own and I must say I agree with her decisions and back her a 100%.With out making this a book I will keep it short. My daughter read a bipolar web site and said to me “O my god”! “My marriage break up was all my fault”, – I told her no it takes 2 to make it or break it. The past is the past lets look to the future. She then stated she did not want to take pills for the rest of her life that’s why we decided to try an alternative treatment. Her next statement was “are my kids going to get this”! We were off to answer her questions. Many doctors could not answer or she did not want to accept the answer. That’s how we ended up at the alternative clinic. There it was stated she has low blood sugar and this is related to the high and lows, major anxiety, she has parasites in her blood, her body is at war and she is running on empty. He saw soft tissue damage and she told him it was her back the disc’s had been damaged. After a discussion he said go get surgery to elevate the pain or minimize it at the least. He changed her diet to a sensible diet high protein and she takes 30 more pills a day along with the others pills prescribed. He will see her in 4 months to check her blood this will tell him how she is doing. He can’t help her if she does not apply herself. I asked is it wrong for me to help her through this as I had been told the day before to stay out of her affairs by professionals she was old enough to do this on her own. He said definitely help her in every way you can, she can not be expected to do this on her own. (Those people have been replaced by ones that support the both of us.)
She was charged her mind was the clearest I have ever seen. We left on the way home she said “I have a plan”. I must admit I was thinking “Oh Boy what now”. She stated regarding the best interest for my children she surrenders temporary custody to the ex for 4 months to see if she could concentrate on getting better. Lessened her ex’s stress with finances, the kids have stability now! It is agreed she can see them any time she wants, it was the best solution anyone could have come up with at this time in my opinion and she did it on her own which is very important to her. She knows she needs help but feels guilty at the same time. She decided she is moving home so that we can help her. I and her family and her new professional people have told her how brave she is to make these decisions. She made an appointment with her doctor and is demanding the repair surgery on her back be preformed. No more delays that she is too young (31 years old). The pain she suffers is causing the bipolar episodes to be more frequent and more intense. Right or wrong this is her plan and I will be there for her. We have a plan! If all goes well, the doctors prescribed pills will slowly be removed and the diet and supplements will get her body back on track. I know it seems so simple that odds are it won’t work but she is very dedicated and in control of her life. Time will tell.
At the same time I see the other side of this illness my sister who is committed to the hospital, no signs of improvement it has been 1 ½ months. I have been told by some of her nurses to walk away and live with that. Than torment myself trying to help her when there is no help. I am a strong, business woman, I love my family very much unconditional love, I will continue to try to reach her. I know that I will take this one day at a time. I will deal with the things I can change and accept the things I can’t. I will continue to find help for her and try on daily basis to improve her life in what ever way possible. You may say if the alternative is helping my daughter then get help for my sister. It is too late to change her body she has done damage with drugs and alcohol and I was told I would be wasting my money. We can not get the 2 years back that she discontinued contact with our family. My sister has lost everything ½ million dollar house to motor home, to her ability to work and live in a respectable way. Yes it is sad but there is a good that has come from this “No I am no crazy” my sister’s bipolar brought this to my attention and I started to learn, that’s how my daughter got her diagnosis early enough that I could help, my daughter. My grandchildren are wonderful and now they are safe and happy. I am getting help with David’s course and learning more each day. My daughter’s not ready to participate with the course but she is happy and thankful I am. My heart goes out to all people affected with this disease as it is similar to a hurricane it leaves devastation when it passes, but as we have learned knowledge is power. The best advice I could give with my little knowledge on the subject of bipolar, is turn your heart ache into an insatiable ability to learn and don’t accept the word NO without challenging it many, many times and then accept it. With that it gives you more power to continue. There is always hope. Listen to the people affected and it sometimes gives you the answers you are looking for.
Wendy Anderson
This is a great article Dave, not only for those with BiPolar but for EVERYONE who is a human being!
Unforetunately there are plain old mean or uncaring people in the world and we all HAVE A CHOICE who we want to
1- Give our business to
2-Associate with
3-Have as a therapist, Doctor, etc
Mental health is important to everyone and if we all decide that we will not “settle” for someone that was sent our way and DECIDE for ourselves that this person is a good fit/match for us we will all be better off.
This is an important topic for us all simply because it stresses that it is NOT just a lesson for people with BiPolar. It is, again, a lesson for everyone who is a human being 🙂
Practicing Abundance, Prosperity & Kindness EVERY DAY,
RS
RandiSusan Mallory
http://www.CompassionateMarketing.com
512.472.2604 Country Code 001
SKYPE: rsmallory
BE a Mentor with A Servant’s Heart
Thanks, Dave. I recently spoke with my daughters dr and therapist. Her dr cut me off and didn’t want to hear any family history while her therapist listened to me and invited me to call again and possibly have a conference with my daughter (we are 12 hrs away and speak rarely…she thinks she had a terrible childhood which is not true.) Anyway I am concerned because the therapist said that she didn’t know of bipolar causing false memories and this is what I think my daughter has. Anyway the things she is saying to me and her father are totally false. Is there some way I can convince the therapist that this is true?
This was an awsome post! I’m a bipolar and feel that some people take stupid pills before talking to those of us who are bipolar! It’s like they don’t think we have any type of feelings on anything! I know this sounds cliche’, but if you prick us, do we not bleed? I mean come on people! We are human beings and we do feel, and yeah, it hurts like hell when you prick us!!!!
Melodee
First of all, David, I agree with you that there are stupid, irresponsible people out there in ALL sorts of positions of authority. The staff at that bank branch were insensitive, and seemed to live in their own world of rules, rules, rules. It’s a good thing you talked to your old bank and got things straightened out – good for you!!
When I moved upstate to be with my husband, I was told to find a new psychiatrist and new therapist. I walked into the office one evening close to closing time, and it looked so COLD. Also, just the thought of re-telling my psychiatric history was just overwhelming – to start over, as it were, with a different bunch of people that didn’t know me or my needs.
I decided to come back to my own/old Community Mental Health Center for Lithium Group once a month, and cognitive therapy every other week. However, this cost me my data entry job (loss of work due to leaving early to attend group therapy). But – I was at least content not to miss any sessions with Lithium group or my therapist. This meant, sometimes, driving home at 11PM by myself, though most times, my Mom (who was suffering from early Alzheimer’s and who lived with us), or my husband, would go with me.
It IS very important to have a caring structure in dealing with bipolar disorder. I trusted the staff at my Community Mental Health Center, and they knew my needs and how to help me. I have had the same therapist for nearly 30 years, and she and I have grown old together! She KNOWS where I’m coming from, and where I’ve been, and we have a mutual trust factor going for us. No wonder I didn’t want to start over with someone new!!
As far as Case Managers are concerned; my new one is just like the old one – ineffective and mannish. Now, I’m NOT prejudiced or dicriminatory, but I am just UNCOMFORTABLE with women who dress and act like men. I met with my new Case Manager last week, and already I know we can’t have any kind of close relationship, so I will stick with my shrink and therapist to help me, and leave my Case Manager OUT of the loop…
Trust, and believing in yourself are very important when dealing with supporters of those of us with bipolar. If your DR or therapist does NOT help, over-prescribes, turns cold, etc., then it IS time to switch providers. I also have a pharmacist who I’ve gone to for over 30 years, who knows my medications and is able to tell me of any interactions or side effects with other meds. I trust him implicitly.
My support group at the Community Mental Health Center CAN identify when/if I am “going off the deep end,” because I am in constant contact with them. The slightest deviance from my “normal” behavior is noticed. I highly recommend that if you are UNHAPPY with either your shrink or your therapist – that you look elsewhere to someone who CAN help you. Also, we are meant to be advocates for our own “triggers” and follow a treatment plan that works for us. The staff can’t do it all – we need to take some responsibility for recognizing when things “aren’t quite right,” and get immediate help. The DR will only step in and send you to the hospital if you are a danger to yourself or others. When you’re in a manic episode, you can’t really be expected to recognize that you’re “off.” Listen to your shrink and TAKE YOUR MEDS. Bipolar disorder CAN’T be cured, but it can be MAINTAINED when you combine meds with therapy.
BIG HUGS to all those who suffer with bipolar, and the loved ones who support them. Remember, God loves you, and so do I.
dave i got one for ya i am the one married to a bipolar spouse and its to the point we dont even sleep in the same room anymore he wont work or cant i work 6 days a week and nothing i do is ever good enough…i am the one being mistreated …this till death do ua part thing is killing me!!!!!!!! after 11 years..got any suggestions? thanks anything is greatly appreciated…i am at my witts end!!!!!!!!!
What can I say.. I have had good and bad doctors I have learned valuable lessons from each, from what to and not to do…And finally am myself again. but boy, is it or can be exhausting! ~Sher
Hi David,
I understand how you felt with the bank problem. I have had that problem many times with different businesses in my life and have had to change banks, car insurance, etc.. It is very frustrating.
The last straw with my ex and I was about our car getting fixed. My ex believed what the mechanic told him in person over what I said the mechanic told to me over the phone. He even argued that the mechanic was right (in front of the mechanic!). That was one of the ultimate betrayals for me to handle. Even though I know that BPD had made my life hard, I stuck with the abuse until I couldn’t take it anymore.
My problem now is that since I moved and divorced, I can’t handle things like I used to. I can’t even find a good doctor either.
My whole family has either clinical depression or BPD. I have both. Didn’t get diagnosed until after I ended up in the mental ward. I tried to commit suicide in 2002. This was not the first time trying but this time it was in front of my 19 yr. old and I knew I had to do something drastic. Here I am going in circles again. I can talk in circles, haha.
My ex retired from the military after we were married 13 yrs.. This was very hard. All of a sudden he was the boss of the household after years of the kids and I being alone for months on end each year.
The reason I don’t have to mess with banks and most people is that I have found someone else to handle my finances, etc. for me now. After caring for myself and being the main boss of my household for almost 12 whole yrs.!
I sometimes feel so dependant but I know that it is for my best. After my last psychotic break, I haven’t even been able to balance my checkbook.
I have done things that I would never think of doing. Things that put me in real danger. The last time I had a major manic episode, I thought I was going out of town for a job but ended up tortured and raped for three days with the threat of ending my life. I still feel like I brought it on myself even though it was my disorder that brought me there.
I have so much to say, but not now.
Is there anyone else out there with BPD with psychosis(connected with mania). I have been frightened by hallucinations and heard voices. Not fun at all. I have extreme anxiety and panic attacks too.
Thank you for listening, Cindy
Thank you again for an insightful newsletter. I too have made the msitake your mom did of putting up with people who were either not helpful or actually detrimental to my wellbeing becuase I thought that was just the way it was and I was afraid to make waves. I finally talked to my social worker and he helped me to realize that I am entitled to being treated fairly and in a professional manner even if I am mentally ill and expecting respect is not making waves.
Leslie
My question to Dave: Are you Bi-polar? Family? I just would like a little backround on you, So many people depend on your words. Maybe
since I’ve been one on one with a group, all fighting the same thing,
all different med’s, experiences.
betty
I hope somebody understands. I have an adult son who refuses to talk to me since I left his father. I am trying to let him know about my family history of BPD, but I never get any feedback, so I know he doesn’t even read the emails or care to. I feel that he needs to know because it runs in my family on my mother’s side and I have three other members of my family that have it besides me. Before he decides to have children, I want him to know that it can skip generations as well. I found all this out since I left his father. I am constantly thinking that I shouldn’t have had children of my own even though I love them dearly. I just didn’t know my own illness before I was diagnosed; and that was before I had my own. What can I do if he won’t listen? What can I say that will get through to him? I’m very distraught about this and I’m very depressed about it. Does anyone have anything positive to say about my situation? Please? Cindy
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