==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
Hi,
How’s it going? Hope you are
having a good weekend.
Yesterday I was reading a book on another
topic and it was not related to bipolar
disorder BUT, there was a powerful technique
that I read I want to share.
Let me tell you how the entire thing unfolded.
Okay before I read the book, I received one
of the f.ree consultation/question certificates that
I include in all my courses/systems below:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
These are for any questions that you may
have that are NOT legal or medical ones
since I am NOT a doctor, lawyer, insurance
agent, or other kind of professional.
Anyway, the person had a very hard to read
question certificate. Meaning, I couldn’t
really read what the question was. I wasn’t
mad or anything because I have bad handwriting
as well so I was okay with it :).
I decided to pick up the phone and call the person
and ask what problems she was having with bipolar
disorder.
She picked up the phone and said, “Hello, who
are you?” I said, “I’m David Oliver do you now
how I am? You sent me a…” She cut me off
and said, “thanks for calling I have a huge
problem that I need your help with, did you
get that bipolar certificate thing I sent
you?” I told her yes.
So I send that I had an hour to talk and I was
“all ears.” So I had a pad and pencil to take
notes on the problem so I could help her.
So, after about 15 minutes, we weren’t getting
anywhere. She was telling me a story. I told her
I kind of know the story because well I hear the
same stories every day.
After a while, I finally through asking a lot of
questions and I mean a lot I pulled out what her
major problems were:
Lives in a small town, can’t find a doctor
Lives in a small town, can’t find a therapist
Doesn’t have much money, loved one destroyed
finances, c.redit is ruined.
Doesn’t know how to use a computer well, needs
to know to get a better job in her company
and get her more money and also a more normal
work schedule.
These were her major problems. Problems 1 through
3 are clearly covered in my courses/systems
from a to z. I told her that. But I still helped
her through it, I told her exactly where to look
and what to look for.
As for problem 4, that was an easy one, I asked
her what she thought the solution was? She said
she didn’t know. Then after like 20 minutes she
concluded that she had a friend that knew computers,
she could go get a book, she could take a class
at the library and the local community college and
that eventually over at least the next six months
she would know computers well enough to get the
job.
We hung up, but I was kind of struck by the fact
her questions were so easy yet she really didn’t
know what questions she had.
Then I was thinking how many other people that
I meet when I volunteer, I call on the phone,
that fill out f.ree consultation certificates, etc.
that say they have all these problems with bipolar
disorder and they can’t really even explain what
they are.
If you have a problem with bipolar disorder and
you can’t express it, it would be impossible to
solve then? Right? Of course.
So fast forward. Later on that day, I was deciding
to reread several books that I had. I was just
kind of picking them at random. I came across
one that had to do with business.
I read the entire thing right away. And the had
in his book how most business people say they
have problems but really don’t have them well
defined.
To counter this problem, the author had this
system in place. It’s called Write, Try, Ask.
He said that you should write down your problem.
Then you should try to answer it yourself.
Then you should ask your subconscious to give
you an answer. And you can ask others for
help as well.
NOTE-I don’t want to get way out in outer
space on you, but this guy argued that you could
ask your subconscious mind for the answers to
most problems. I agree with him and it’s not
as mystic as one might think but I don’t
want people thinking that I am a weirdo or
anything. I do think this is possible.
Now with bipolar disorder, I might modify this
technique a little. I would say that after
you write down the problem, you should get
as much information as you can.
One of the things I did with my mom was put
a TON of information in my head when I was
helping my mom. Most I couldn’t use right
away but eventually I used most of it.
People have commented that they have gotten
lots of my courses at:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog
and they wondered why I put certain things
in it and weeks or months later, they
said, “Oh that’s why he told me that, I
see now.”
When you have the information in your head,
your brain can use it when a situation comes
up.
Anyway, my big take away for those dealing
with bipolar disorder whether you have it
or you are supporting someone with it, is
to clearly define what problems you
are having. Many people don’t have defined
problems and they just tell stories. I would
say that 90% of the people that I talk
to that say, “I have so many problems
because of bipolar disorder”, can’t even
articulate one major problem to me.
If you don’t know what problems you have,
you can’t solve them.
It sounds so simple but it’s true. I actually
felt kind of dumb because I have this one
business that I say, “I have so many problems”
and guess what? I couldn’t define what they
were. After reading the book yesterday, I basically
have 3 problems. I already have solutions
to the problems from yesterday today. But I must
say for weeks, I have been saying, “I have so
many problems.”
Anyway, it’s really, really important to define
your problems with bipolar disorder. Finally,
never think that your problem is impossible
to be solved because it’s not.
My mom had the biggest possible problems you
could think of. So many problems from bipolar
disorder. And really strange ones. Like, how
do you buy a car with bad cred.it, paying less
than the car dealer paid for the car because
you have to keep the payment really low and can
only pay payments for 36 months.
I told my one friend about my mom’s problem,
he laughed and said, “Good luck, dude!”
Anyway, I randomly found someone that told
me EXACTLY how to do this. Actually I used
this system to replace the car I have.
Another problem was, how do you get
low cost, good health insurance when you don’t
have a job? Sounds impossible, right? Well it
was, but then the answer came to me. I call
it cafeteria health care.
Go get yourself a yellow legal pad and
a pen. Start writing down what problems
you have. I really want you to. Then report
back to me, the difference it’s made in
your life.
Anyway, I have to go, catch you tomorrow.
Have a great day!
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
Hi Dave, I wonder because It’s so easy! I’ve made this technique before, but I forgotten that,(lacking of use). Thanks for help me to remind it!
hi my 2 daugthers have bipolar one is on risperadal and the other wont take any meds she says she dont need them they both lie to me and have angry outburst to the point i have to hold them down,,i dont understand this disease at all i dont think there is anyone in my family that has it,i have read all your emails and i still dont understand how they have it and not me
I am still in the process of educationg myself on this disorder. I am a supporter of my sister who has not yet bet told she is Bipolar bu tis on meds for it according to the net. I looked up the meds and it says it is used for people who are Bipolar and or depressed. She had so many mood swings and gets verbally hatefull and some times hits her husband. He calls me all the time about what to do with or for her but nothing haas been done yet. She has called me telling me she has been thinking of killing herself. I try so hard not to react and tell her I love her and there has got to be another way for her to find and be happy. She is my twin sister and we are very close but as different as night and day. So any help you can give me and just being able to talk about this helps. I am going thru this programs so I can help her in anyway I can but she will not go to a Dr. for this. It is the money thing and denial too. Thanks for listening and all your support. Gheri
I had just had a question: Let’s say your husband is bypolar and the wife is not bypolar. How luckly is will your children be bypolar too? I’ve seen percentages before and get different answers everytime. I was just wondering. My parnets say i have no future with my current boyfriend. It seems every time we move forward from a situation, disater or stress slowly follows. I love my boyfriend with all my heart.But the bypolar is killing our relationship.
You impress me Dave…Everday and in Everyway ~Sher
Do you know how DIFFICULT it is sometimes to articulate just WHAT your problem is? Straightforward questions like what DR or what therapist are clinical questions that have REAL answers, as covered in your courses.
However, for a bipolar to state a question is sometimes sooo hard. But – I do agree that you CAN ask your subconscious (God/spirit/imagination) your question, and guess what – you CAN get an answer! It may NOT be the one you WANT, but it WILL be the one you need. Even in a manic episode, your conscience can SOMETIMES differentiate between right and wrong; you CAN tell whether what you are thinking/doing is WRONG, legally or morally, and then CHOOSE whether to do it or not.
But the above requires wisdom and perception AND judgment – all three are lacking when I’m in a manic episode. When I’m in a “normal” phase of bipolar, I CAN meditate on a question/problem, and the “still, small voice” will come to me, and I’ll get my answer. However, in a manic, it’s difficult, if not impossible, to separate delusions from reality. My delusions can be VERY real, to the point where I’ve hurt people by believing what is not true about them.
Case in point – my very first delusion was (as an adopted child) that the surgeon who saved my life was my biological father. As it turns out, he told my parents that I was “exhausted and needed a rest,” so they checked me into the psychiatric ward of a private hospital for observation. After my parents left the room, I asked him if he was, indeed, my father. Well, he fed my delusion and said, “Yes,” he was. I just found out the real truth; I’ve met my biological mother, and my biological father is dead, and had no relation to my surgeon.
Delusions (fantasy) play a BIG part in the acting-out phase of mania. Medications can/will help with this phase. It’s easy to “go off” and truly believe these delusions – I’m living proof…
You have an easy formula to remember – just be sure the question you ask yourself has an easy answer!
BIG HUGS to all bipolar sufferers and the ones who love them. God loves you, and so do I.
After reading todays e-mail it had me thinking. My brother is bi-polar. It is easier to deal with when he is home. I have Multiple Sclerosis. I keep thinking I have all these problems. I really don’t! I mean I have problems but they aren’t half as bad as my brother’s. When he comes home next I will buy him a notebook and a pen and tell him about today’s e-mail. Maybe it will help him to get through some of his problems.
Can you be Bi-polar if you only have the depressed, angry, rage addicted end of things?
Hi Dave
I am tring to learn more about Bipolar Because My Girl friend that live in the south & I live in the North. So I can have more of the Idea of what she is going through an know how to cope with this in the past she has swing moods and than she more or less ask me to leave, as long as she stays on her Med, she is fine at least I think (Wellbuton) Ithink that the right Spelling.
I’m bipolar, have had cancer last year, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and low thyroid. Because I “work” maybe once or twice a week, Public Aid deems me not disabled. I’ve been hospitalized 4 times- in 1992-93, twice in 2000, and in 2004. I haven’t had a car since 1997-couldn’t afford one. Because of this my husband cannot find work since then. This has and is causing excessive strain on me, mentally and physically. I’ve had two bad bike accidents this year which have left me physically disabled as well. I have fashitis of the left foot which isn’t responding to therapy, and a broken knee/leg. Too long to go into. Now I’m applying for SSI just so that my medical benefits aren’t interrupted, and because I only make $8/year! I have been borrowing money for many years just to make rent each month! What can be done to cut through the red tape?
Dave how do you obtain good health insurance without having a job?????
Thank you for all the information I have found here.
My husband diagnosed with bipolar disorder 5 years ago after 15 years of misdiagnosis of depressive syndrome.
He does relatively well on medications, but can not seem to get a handle on thinking that people are against him constantly.
I am wondering if his thinking isn’t because of his bipolar disorder, but because his parents and family have literally told him they don’t want to deal with his illness. He has parents that were really bad parents when he was young..very harsh people with not alot of nurturing or compassion to the kids. His mother is particularly controlling and pretty mean spirited with an “i’m better than you” and “oh poor me” chip on her shoulder.
This makes me wonder if his subconscous is giving him these thoughts because it is basically what he was taught from little up….that he wasnt good enough, was a bother…….etc.
I am going to have him write these down like you suggest and hopefully we can make some headway with relief for him.
I will let you know how things go.
Again, thank you for alot of helpful info.