Hi, how’s it going for you today? I hope things are going good for you.

Remember when you were younger, and you wanted something so bad you almost couldn’t stand it? Like at Christmastime, getting that one present you wanted more than anything else.

Then, as you get older, you may have the same strong desire for something, but you can’t always count on someone else providing it for you. Some things you have to do for yourself.

When you know what you want, and you want it badly enough, you’ll find a way to get it. That’s what happens when you’re an adult. No more Santa Clause. Just you. And your ability to attain what you desire.

First, though, you need to know what you want.

So how does this relate to bipolar disorder? Say you want things to be less stressful at home.

Say you want it very badly. Well, no one is going to do the work for you – you first of all have to want it bad enough, and second of all, want it bad enough to do what it takes to attain it.

So you might think of ways to make your home environment more peaceful. You might brainstorm some ideas and then act upon them. You can’t just wait on your loved one to do it for you, because they may either not see the same need, or acknowledge it, or be willing or able to do it like you can.

I know, that sounds like it’s all on you to do the hard work…But sometimes you have to pick

up the slack from your loved one. That is, if it’s something you want bad enough.

Again, if you want something bad enough, you’ll do whatever it takes to get it. Like stability.

If your loved one wants stability bad enough, they will do whatever it takes to attain it. And that may be what you want as well. Although you can’t make your loved one do what they have to do to attain stability…You can do your part.

You can help them remember to take their medications. You can see that they get to all their appointments. You can make sure that they stay productive, even if that means writing up a To-Do List for them. You can go to your own support group and find out how other supporters are dealing with their loved one’s bipolar disorder.

In other words, if you want something bad enough, you’ll do what it takes to get it.

That doesn’t mean, though, that you can’t ask for help. In fact, if you don’t ask for help, you may suffer burnout, trying to do everything yourself. On the other hand, you don’t want to do for your loved one what they can do for themselves. You have every right to expect them to participate in what they can.

Like the example I used of keeping a stress-free home environment. They can help with that, too.

Can you think of an example of something you wanted so bad you were willing to do whatever it

took to get it? That’s the right attitude you (and your loved one) need to have toward bipolar stability.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

We have having a HUGE New Years Sale. 50% percent off the ENTIRE Bipolar Central catalog.

There are tons of resources and courses.

From now until Tuesday, January 5, 2010, order anything from the catalog site located at:

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And receive 50% off your entire order.

Just enter promo code “newyears1231” on the order form  to see immediate savings.

Have a great day.

Dave

Hi, how’s it going? I hope you’re having a great day.

Do you know what Rainex is? It’s a solution that you put on your car window that literally makes rain “bead up” and roll right off your windshield. This stuff really works!

Speaking of “rolling off…”

I was thinking about this in relation to bipolar disorder. One thing you need to learn is to let things “roll off” your back without reacting. I know, it doesn’t seem fair, because your loved one

probably doesn’t do this.

But just like the beads of rain just “roll off” your car windshield when you use Rainex, you need to let some things “roll off” your back when you’re dealing with someone who has bipolar disorder.

Your loved one experiences mood swings sometimes, just by virtue of the fact that they have bipolar disorder. They can’t help some of their behavior because of this. But that doesn’t make it any easier for you to deal with or excuse.

Well, if you can’t change their behavior, what you CAN do is change your REACTION to their behavior.

For instance, like I was talking about – let things roll off your back. In other words, don’t take things personally. And don’t react to them in a negative way. Which is hard, I know, because sometimes your loved one can say some pretty harsh and hurtful things. My mom did that to me, too, when she was in her episodes.

Fighting back is definitely not the answer. Your loved one’s anger may be because of an irritable mood, not even because of something you’ve done. If that’s the case, you have no defense anyway. And fighting back with them will just make them angrier.

Many times they will absolutely believe they are right about something, even though you know they’re wrong. You still won’t get anywhere by fighting back with them. They believe they are right,no matter what you say. This is a common problem with bipolar disorder.

Then you get frustrated…Stressed…Angry…Resentful…Or a host of other negative emotions.

So what CAN you do about it? You need to learn to let things roll off your back. Remember the image of the Rainex and your windshield. Don’t take things personally. Remember that it is the bipolar disorder talking, and not your loved one. And don’t hold onto resentments – they will only affect you in a negative way.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I wanted to address something with you.

The other day, I sent out a link for a new resource I have titled:

“Who Else Wants To Know The SHOCKING Truth About Disability And Bipolar Disorder?”

Located at:  http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/disability/

I received a bunch of questions from people basically saying in a nutshell:

“Dave, isn’t this stuff that social security will tell people?”

The answer is no.

The information in this resource is NOT found in social security.

Even doctors don’t tell patients.

I have no idea why. It’s seriously crazy.

I think disability can be devastating to people dealing with bipolar disorder.

In my material I point out why.

I just want people to realize I am NOT exaggerating.

You’re going to learn so much that doctors and social security never tell you. Most of the time they don’t realize all of what is in my material.

Some therapists, do however. I find that many times, therapists are more in tune with the ins and outs of managing bipolar disorder on a daily basis.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know this.

If you are on disability yourself, have a loved one on it or are considering it, and want more information, please visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/disability/

Thanks and see you tomorrow morning.

Dave

Hi, how are you doing today? I hope you’re doing well.

You know, one of the worst things I remember about those bad years when my mom had undiagnosed bipolar disorder was all the fighting. I hated that. It kind of scared me, because I didn’t understand why she was fighting so much. Sometimes I didn’t even know what I did that made her so mad. She would just start yelling and screaming at me, and it was awful.

It was especially horrible when she said things that hurt me (but later she didn’t remember them).

So you know that now I am totally against fighting. Except I think that there are some exceptions. Sometimes you have to fight.

Like they say to fight for what you believe in. Or to fight for your rights. Or to fight the big iant corporation that took your money. Or to fight for what is right. Things like that.

But that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about fighting with your loved one.

It’s hard when you are drawn into a fight with your loved one, because it will only make things worse. However, there are things you can do to help, like the idea of listening patiently without fighting back, and not taking it personally.

But I’m sure, like me, that in spite of hating to fight, you have ended up in a couple fights with your loved one anyway. Hopefully, you have a good relationship normally, with good communication.

Hopefully, you have learned how to disagree without hurting each other (like the concept of “agree to disagree”) without things getting out of control. But when your loved one is in an agitated mood, it may not be that simple. They may be like my mother was. They may even try to pick a fight with you.

In a manic mood, sometimes a person with bipolar disorder can get very irritable and get agitated

easily. They can get real angry (whether it’s over a big thing or a small thing). And then they take it out on you because either they blame you, or because you are there to listen.

But one thing you do need to fight for sometimes is your loved one’s stability. That is one thing worth fighting for. Remember to keep in mind that there is a separation between your loved one and their disorder. So you’re not really fighting your loved one, you’re fighting their bipolar disorder. Still, things can be difficult. Nobody likes to be yelled at.

One of the most effective ways to deal with your loved one’s anger is by making your voice softer. I know, it seems like too simple an idea. But it forces them to listen to what you’re saying.

You may have to even fight with them over whether to go to the hospital or not. And that is one fight that you do need to win! So say whatever you have to say to get them to hear reason and agree to go get help voluntarily.

Hopefully, you have good communication, so that there are few fights. Just remember that, when it comes to their bipolar disorder, you can never give up the fight for their stability, even if it means fighting them for their own good.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

Here’s the news on time this week.

Anyway, to read this week’s news visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews461/

Here are the news headlines:

Improving the Workplace for Those with Bipolar Disorder
DO> Great article, don’t you think?

Report: [Hundreds of] Foster Kids given Anti-psychotics Without Consent
DO> This is TERRIBLE!

‘Fall to Pieces’: Mary Forsberg Weiland’s Story of Addiction, Rock & Roll and …
DO> Interesting story, take a look.

Poor Children Likelier to Get Antipsychotics
DO> Again, very terrible!

Home Comforts helps People with Chronic Mental Illness
DO> Great article, take a look.

For these stories and more, please visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarnews461/

==>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==

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Your Friend,

David

Hi, how are you? I hope you’re doing well.

Well, we’re counting down to Christmas, and all the holiday events are starting, from store sales to shopping, to gatherings and parties, etc. It sure is an exciting time, isn’t it?

But there are some people with bipolar disorder for whom the holidays are not a happy time. If your loved one is one of these people, you will have known because of what happened last year. People with bipolar disorder usually repeat their patterns.

I know for my mom, these months are usually the hardest for her in the whole year.

If you had problems with your loved one going into a bipolar depression last year at this time, too, you will want to watch their behavior and moods very closely. The same thing is likely to happen this year as well.

So what can you do about it?

Well, if you are enthusiastic, excited, and in a general good mood for the holidays, some of this might rub off on your loved one.

Have you ever noticed that when you’re around an optimistic and positive person that it’s hard to be pessimistic and negative in return? It’s the same concept.

One way to help them not get depressed is to involve them in the holiday preparations. Have them help you make a Christmas shopping list, for example. It will at least take the emphasis

off themselves and their problems and have them thinking about other people and what they would like for a Christmas gift.

You could also enlist their help in getting the Christmas cards done. Activity is good for someone with bipolar disorder.

Get them involved! Do some holiday baking. Decorate the house. Put up a tree with all the extra stuff on it – ornaments, lights, garland, tinsel, etc. – with a great big star or angel on the top of it!

Get excited! Then maybe they will catch your enthusiasm. But be careful, you don’t want them to get TOO excited, or they may go into the exact opposite direction and go manic on you! Do everything with moderation and you shouldn’t have a problem.

Having your loved one help you to plan a holiday family gathering might help as well. But I would issue a warning here – If your loved one is already depressed, they may not want to have any company over the house.

In this case, let them help you choose just one or two gatherings to go to, with the agreement that if they can’t handle it, that you will leave early.

As always, you need to be vigilant and watch your loved one for any signs/symptoms of a bipolar episode.

Hopefully, by doing these things, they won’t fall into a bipolar depression. But if they do, make sure that they seek help. Sometimes just calling their doctor and getting their medication increased on a temporary basis is all that is needed.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi, how are you today? I hope you’re doing fine.

Sometimes people get the wrong idea of what being a supporter is. They think they have to do

everything for their loved one with bipolar disorder. Even things that they can do for themselves. And that’s called enabling, which isn’t a positive thing for a supporter.

I mean, I’m not saying not to help your loved one, you should, but just not to the extreme. Some supporters who go to the extreme treat their loved one like a child, and then wonder why their loved one resents them. You don’t want this to happen to you. You want to be the best supporter

you can be.

But you also cannot leave out one very important person in the process of supporting your loved one – YOU!

Let me ask you: Are you taking care of yourself? Because if you don’t, you may get sick (physically and/or emotionally), and then what kind of help would you be to your loved one?

You MUST take care of yourself first, or you won’t be able to help your loved one (or anyone

else, for that matter).

I know that some people will disagree with me. They may think it is selfish to put themselves first. But, again, I would say to you that if you DON’T put yourself first, you won’t be an effective supporter, family member, friend, co-worker, etc.

It is definitely not a matter of being selfish but, instead, a matter of “best practices.” Have you heard of “best practices?” It’s a business term that applies to those ways in which the company

(and/or its departments) can be most effective – by using “best practices.” You can be your most effective as well, if you use “best practices.”

Every supporter is different, but best practices for you might include:

• Going to your own therapist

• Attending your own support group

• Keeping in close contact with your friends and family

• Having a social life

• Doing things outside the home separate from your loved one

• Doing things that you enjoy

• Having hobbies

• Being of service to others besides your loved one

• Being active in church or a civic organization

• Volunteering for a worthy cause

• Taking care of yourself physically

• Taking care of yourself mentally

• Taking care of yourself emotionally

• Taking care of yourself spiritually

• Keeping a positive attitude

• Improving your self-esteem

• Bettering yourself

• Learning more about bipolar disorder

• Learning something new

• etc.

The better you take care of yourself, the better you can take care of your loved one with bipolar disorder. It’s not a matter of selfishness, it’s a matter of necessity.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave

Hi,

I just wanted to let you know that I am offering a special FREE Trial on Bipolar Supporter’s Master Course.

I am only taking 50 people and it ends 10:00 pm EST Tuesday, December 22, 2009

For complete details, visit:

https://www.bipolarsupporter.com/specialoffer/supportercourse/

Dave

Hi, how are things going for you? I hope you’re doing well today.

You know, it’s not just the churches that promote being of service to others. It has been shown that people who are of service to others are more positive, outgoing, self-confident, and successful.

I think part of it, at least, could be that by servicing others, they are thinking about the other person and not themselves. In other words, it takes their mind off their own problems.

Everybody needs a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Everybody needs a purpose to

their life. Especially people with bipolar disorder.

If you or your loved one with the disorder are too idle, you will have too much time on your

hands, for one thing. And then you risk the part about concentrating on yourself and your own problems. Even worse, idleness can sometimes lead into a bipolar depressive episode. And you don’t want that to happen. So you need to keep busy. And what better way than of being service to others?

It could be as simple as helping with the coffee at your bipolar support group. It could be as complex as becoming a tutor or teaching music lessons, or volunteering at a charity or even

a business. Or it could be anything in between. It’s all up to you.

The point is to take your mind off the negative aspects of your life and train yourself to look at

the positive aspects of it – like helping others.

We especially think of this at this time of year, at the holidays. Not everyone is in a good position right now. Some families are really suffering under financial weight, loss of job, loss of home, etc. There may be something you can do to help, even if it’s just in a small way.

There are other ways to help as well. You can use your gifts and talents to be of use to others. For example, like I mentioned before about being a tutor. You may even be able to make

some money for yourself while you are being of service to someone else.

However you help others is up to you, and where your interests lie, because what you do best will be best for the people you’re trying to help. For instance, I know someone with bipolar disorder who loves to read. So she became a Literacy Volunteer and helped other adults learn how to read, who couldn’t before her help.

Being of service to others is so important to the stability and self-esteem of someone with bipolar

disorder. The more you help someone else, the better you will feel about yourself.

Well, I have to go!

Your Friend,

Dave