Hi, how are you? I hope you’re doing well.
Well, we’re counting down to Christmas, and all the holiday events are starting, from store sales to shopping, to gatherings and parties, etc. It sure is an exciting time, isn’t it?
But there are some people with bipolar disorder for whom the holidays are not a happy time. If your loved one is one of these people, you will have known because of what happened last year. People with bipolar disorder usually repeat their patterns.
I know for my mom, these months are usually the hardest for her in the whole year.
If you had problems with your loved one going into a bipolar depression last year at this time, too, you will want to watch their behavior and moods very closely. The same thing is likely to happen this year as well.
So what can you do about it?
Well, if you are enthusiastic, excited, and in a general good mood for the holidays, some of this might rub off on your loved one.
Have you ever noticed that when you’re around an optimistic and positive person that it’s hard to be pessimistic and negative in return? It’s the same concept.
One way to help them not get depressed is to involve them in the holiday preparations. Have them help you make a Christmas shopping list, for example. It will at least take the emphasis
off themselves and their problems and have them thinking about other people and what they would like for a Christmas gift.
You could also enlist their help in getting the Christmas cards done. Activity is good for someone with bipolar disorder.
Get them involved! Do some holiday baking. Decorate the house. Put up a tree with all the extra stuff on it – ornaments, lights, garland, tinsel, etc. – with a great big star or angel on the top of it!
Get excited! Then maybe they will catch your enthusiasm. But be careful, you don’t want them to get TOO excited, or they may go into the exact opposite direction and go manic on you! Do everything with moderation and you shouldn’t have a problem.
Having your loved one help you to plan a holiday family gathering might help as well. But I would issue a warning here – If your loved one is already depressed, they may not want to have any company over the house.
In this case, let them help you choose just one or two gatherings to go to, with the agreement that if they can’t handle it, that you will leave early.
As always, you need to be vigilant and watch your loved one for any signs/symptoms of a bipolar episode.
Hopefully, by doing these things, they won’t fall into a bipolar depression. But if they do, make sure that they seek help. Sometimes just calling their doctor and getting their medication increased on a temporary basis is all that is needed.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
Hi Oliver:
I always read your emails but have never commented on them . Today however I am compelled to do so.
I hate Christmas – always have. I get really depressed and irritable when everyone around me is in the holiday spirit. Usually I’m pretty stable on medication although I have my ups and downs; I tend to be a rapid cycler – mostly down not manic.
I have a good support system, my therapist says to focus on just the littlest positive things I can find but I can’t find anything positive about the holidays.
I have decorated the house; I have written the Christmas cards; I have wrapped the gifts; thank God nobody is coming to my house but I have to go visit, which hopefully will not be for too long. I hate being so negative and depresssed but am unable to fight it.
I am desperately trying to fight a “breakdown” which would land me in the hospital. My husband, although supportive, sees this as “just another cycle that will pass” and that sounds rather flippant to me and doesn’t help much either.
Well, thanks for listening, the holidays will be over soon and I’m sure I’ll feel better then.
Hi Dave, this use to be my favorite time of year mostly because of the decorations I love getting a tree and decorating it do you know that in the Bible trees are. Used to represent God .Christ and us so I guess it would be fitting to have a tree at chritmas unfortunately all this politicaly correct way of speeking as not to affend those who don’t believe and shoving down our throat that if you can’t buy everything or spend a million dollers for presents then this isn’t a good christmas. Kids in school can’t say merry christmas anymore it some other way well I’m tired of politcaly corect bs if they don’t like it then don’t celabrate it but stop making us look bad for calling what it is and making us change everything around to their liking I’m a christian and proud of it even though I can not get a tree because I live in a moterhome I bought some presents for my grandaughter even though I couldn’t efford it. I live every day of my live fighting this lousy disease and I would drive around at night and look at the lights and everything others have done to their houses but not this year has been the most dipressing year for everyone there is a part of maybe 3 streets here in vac ca and every year they do all these streets up they called it candy cane lane and there would be a contest that which ever house was the best PG and E would pay their dec bill I don’t know if it is because so many people are out of work or what but this was a tradition so this year I took my grandaughter who’s old enough now to enjoy it their. I’m glad I didn’t say anything to her because their was nothing no wellcome to candy cane lane sign no houses with lights their were maybe 3 house out of all the streets that did this and it was just heart braking because it really spoke volumes of how things really are now. Then we drove around andf really noticed just how few houses were decorated so many are empty this is definately one dark christmas here and of every thing it saddens me because I don’t see this getting better for some time. So if all those of you are lucky to be going to parties and even have a place to decorate be very thankfull to the real one that is giving you that. Because God has blessed you for another year and our Lord is the reason for this celabration no matter how down I get I know its because of Him I’m alive. So Merry Christmas To all Those Who feel down right now because you may not have much if you have any family then you are richer then you will ever know and for those that may not have or perhaps don’t get along with your family I can relate and I can also say that no matter what we are really never alone He is always their waiting for us to ecknowlege Him. God Bless All and be safe during this holliday season. Sandra { forgotten how to spell some things}
Hi Dave,
Actually for my husband with Bi-Polar it is not just Christmas he hates but usually manages a full on episode for My Birthday, or his as well.
So what is it about family occasions? After a 14 year roller coaster we have now recognised his triggers are his family in particular his father, whom he has suffered 50 years of abuse from. Finally he has cut him out of his life in September and for the first time in 14 years I am totally looking forward to Christmas without the dramas. So much so that we are having 14 for lunch and 20 at night time for dinner. My husband has even joked about the fact I will start the day by looking like ‘martha stewart’ by lunchtime sound like ‘Julia Child’ and by 5.00pm turn into ‘gordon ramsay and by boxing day – need to head to ‘Jenny Craigs’ He is looking forward to a fun festive day with my family and our very supportive friends and has helped me with the house decorations, shopping and everything. I believe with my whole being this will be a Christmas Turning point for him. So to all supporters out there – try and identify the trigger that makes your loved one hate the holiday season and try and eliminate it. Don’t wait 14 years to find out what it is like I did.
To all supporters = my very best wishes and kindest regards for a safe, happy and episode free Christmas
Devon Ryburn-Morris