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How are you?
Hope you are doing well. Today I am in the
library and their is this one guy talking
on his cell phone super loud. When these times
occur, I debate in my head to say something.
I wish cell phones were BANNED from ALL libraries.
It’s so annoying. Anyway, I went up to the
reference librarian to complain and see if
she could shut the guy up.
I had a book about bipolar disorder in my hand and
she asked me, “Do you have bipolar disorder?” I said,
“No I don’t but I have an organization that helps
people dealing with it–both supporters and
I came to find out this woman had a sister with
bipolar disorder. She said it was a nightmare.
She had for like 10 years her sister hadn’t
done much, did drugs, couldn’t hold a job and was
in and out of the hospital. She had no money
and was constantly in a “bad state.”
I asked lots of questions and finally she
said, “You know, psychiatrists are a total
joke, they have no idea what they are doing.
My sister is suppose to be with this new
one that is suppose to be so good and he
can’t get the medication right.”
I asked her how long she has been with him
she said 3 weeks. Then I asked (below next
to Woman> are her responses):
How many times has she seen him?
Woman> Not sure
Who is are her main supporters?
Woman> Umm I guess me.
How did you find him?
Woman> Not sure
Who was she seeing before?
Woman> Not sure
Who besides your sister is reporting
what’s going on including any side effects?
Woman> What do you mean? Umm. No one I guess.
NOTE-As I type this, ANOTHER guy is talking
on his cell phone. GEEZE!!! If you do this
in libraries don’t!
What are you expectations with the doctor?
Woman> He can help her and help right away
if he is so good.
How long do you think it takes to find
the right medication?
Woman>A few days?
What is your sister doing that is making
you think the medication is wrong?
Woman>She doesn’t have a job?
Do you think your sister can be a success?
Woman> Omm, seriously not really.
Look at what I wrote and look at the woman’s
Talk about unrealistic expectations.
She is her sisters main supporter and she
doesn’t have a clue.
Then the woman was super negative about the
doctor. I can’t even type all the bad stuff
she said. I cut her off and basically told
her that she was wrong in blaming the doctor.
After 15 minutes she agreed. And she did
concede that she hasn’t really done anything
other than complain about her sister and
she kind of dumps her sister off to doctors
and hopes they will “take of her.”
Well I am here to say, that doesn’t work.
My dad tried that one for about 38 years and
it never, ever worked.
The bottom line is, with doctors that
treat bipolar disorder you have to be realistic
in what you expect. It takes even the best doctors
time to find the right combination of medication.
Also you have to be fair. Notice the woman thinks
the doctor is not good because her sister isn’t
working. Is that a good measurement of whether
the doctor is good or not? And, how the heck can a
person go from not working
to working after being in a major bipolar disorder episode
in 3 weeks. UNREALISTIC!
Don’t fall into this trap. And the other really
bad thing she has done with her sister is not
shop for a good doctor.
In my courses/systems below you know that I advocate
my doctor/therapist finding system:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
And I advocate getting doctors/therapist to
contact you and sorting through hundreds at
the same time. I recommend shopping for a doctor
like you shop for a car, painter, etc.
It’s amazing that people will show more
for food that a good doctor.
BUT on the flip side it didn’t sound like
her sister had a bad doctor even though he
was kind of random and wasn’t shopped
for. I find that many times people put some
much demand on the doctors and they want
results that are not realistic or don’t even
make any sense.
A person once told me her doctor wasn’t any good
because he wouldn’t see her after 5pm on Sundays
each week. I asked this person when could he she
you then and she said well any other time but I
liked after 5:00pm on Sundays the best. I was like,
“Ever hear of the word compromise?” She thought about
it then felt dumb. Keep in mind this woman was totally
stable. She then said, well since he makes so much
money he should accommodate me. I just shook my head.
The problem is, she left that doctor and now had
to start over with someone else.
If you don’t like a doctor, seriously sit and think
if what you are thinking makes and sense, you are
being fair and realistic. Don’t get on the doctor
merry go round for no reason.
With that said, I have to take off and the library
Don’t forget, Friday, tomorrow is the bipolar news.
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.