Hi,
I’ve been thinking about something, and wanted to share my thoughts with you. It’s about what happens when you try to accomplish too much too fast. Think about it.
When you try to accomplish too much too fast, you are just setting yourself up for failure, because you’ll never be able to do it. It also gets very discouraging for you.
Also, if you don’t know how long something should take, you can start to think it’s taking
too long. For example, after an episode. It could take up to a year to fully “fix” the after
effects of an episode.
Like the financial ruin – you can’t fix a bankruptcy in just two weeks! But some people think you can just do it overnight! We don’t rush the stroke victim or even the cancer victim, why do we rush the victim of bipolar disorder?
Thinking that they should be over an episode after just a week or two is just plain unrealistic
expectations. Would we have that same expectation if they were getting over a physical illness?
Then why are we expecting it from a bipolar episode?
There are certain things in life that take a certain amount of time to happen. It’s just the way it has to be. Think about things in nature. Like the butterfly – it starts off as a caterpillar…then it goes into a cocoon… and only after a certain period of time does it metamorphose into that beautiful butterfly! It just doesn’t happen overnight. And if you interrupt it at any point in the
chain of events, the whole thing would be ruined!
Some things just can’t be rushed. Other things just have to take place in a certain order. And still other things have to take place at a certain time. Wanting your loved one who has bipolar
disorder to get over their episode overnight is like wanting them to be that beautiful butterfly without going through the cocoon phase!
Some things are just worth waiting for. You just have to be more patient sometimes. I know it’s hard to be patient sometimes. It was hard for me with my mom, too. But I had to learn to be patient with her as she learned how to manage her bipolar disorder and get over her episode. It didn’t happen overnight. It took time.
Some supporters also expect their loved one to go right back to being themselves after an episode, and sometimes that just doesn’t happen either – that’s something else that might take some time.
Some family members make this mistake, too, at the very beginning: They think, good, now that they are diagnosed, they can just take a pill and they’ll be better. Then they get frustrated when it doesn’t happen right away. It takes time even in the beginning to get used to the diagnosis.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
Thank you this is very helpful
For my darling mother
All of my life, some fifty-years, I have never felt connected with my mother and now I know why!!!!
I usually dont listen to conversations not pertaining to me but boy am I glad of the day I chose to listen to complete strangers “muttering about this topic” – Will never forget the look on that face!!!!
it was exactly 1:48 when I walked into a shopping store (as I am always shopping) when I overheard two girlfriends having an unbelievable conversation about “connection” – imagine all your life you are about to stumble upon the Greatest Discovery of all – THE IDENTITY OF YOUR REAL MOTHER!!!!!!
For my darling mother
All of my life, some fifty-years, I have never felt connected with my mother and now I know why!!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
I discovered who my daddy was at 48 years old.
yep I discovered who my dad was when I was 48 – he was the on that told me that I lost my first tooth at 5 years old!!!!!
He took me to the dentist, he should know! Thank goodness he didnt get a flat, I would have had to walk; lol
Did you hear the recent story from Dover, NH where a man killed his wife, suffering from bipolar disorder in her ICU room and then himself? SOOO tragic! He felt he was being merciful, since she had failed a suicide attempt & he instinctively called 911 but regretted it b/c the hospital wouldn’t honor her DNR after being taken there. It makes me wonder what could have prevented this…what resources, support, trying different meds, etc may have alleviated some of the hopelessness they both felt, and now their children have to lose out on both parents.