Hi,
Today I want to talk to you about bipolar disorder and how it takes time and history to diagnose it. Many, many people have written or talked to me about how it took them a long time to get diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Even though the mental health professionals (psychiatrists, etc.) and even the Diagnostic And Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), which is the “Bible” that psychiatrists go by to diagnose bipolar disorder will tell you that it’s between ages 17-21 that you first get diagnosed with bipolar disorder, most people are NOT diagnosed between those ages. It usually takes more time than that to be diagnosed with the disorder, as most of you will attest.
Most people tell me it wasn’t until their thirties or forties that they were finally diagnosed. They tell me (most of them) that they pretty much knew that something was wrong with them long before that – usually they say that they knew it their whole lives, even.
So firstly, it takes time to be diagnosed.
Mostly because people who have the disorder usually don’t come to the doctor/psychiatrist when they are younger, because either they are scared, or they don’t want to hear the diagnosis.
Michele, who works for me wasn’t diagnosed until she was 45, but then she realized her son
was showing the same symptoms and got him diagnosed when he was 12 years old.
However, she has a 25-year-old son who secretly admitted to his girlfriend that he has bipolar disorder, but he will not go to a psychiatrist, because he doesn’t want the diagnosis confirmed.
Maybe because he’s scared, maybe because he’s seen what his mom has gone through, maybe because he knows if he goes to the doctor/psychiatrist, it will become real for him. Maybe because he knows if he gets diagnosed, he’ll be put on medication that he’ll have to take for the rest of his life.
This is called denial, and when these people who have been in denial finally do seek help, one of the things the doctor/psychiatrist will use to determine the diagnosis will be the person’s history.
The doctor/psychiatrist will not only ask for a medical history, but will want a family history as well, because research done on bipolar disorder does show a hereditary element to it, usually passed down the female side of the family, from mother to child.
So, like in Michele’s case, it was passed from her to her two sons. Even though one of them is still in denial, he will eventually have to face the truth.
So there is a time element to being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and there is also a history
element.
But what happens AFTER you’re diagnosed?
The first thing is that you have to develop a treatment plan, because without it, you will have no direction to the management of the disorder – and if you ever want to manage it (and it CAN be managed, even if there is no cure – believe me, because that’s what a lot of my advice to people is about), you must have a treatment plan.
A treatment plan usually consists of medication and therapy. Medication is SO important. Without it, there can be no stability at all. Medication helps to normalize the extremes in mood that bipolar disorder consists of. Although it may take some time to find the right medications and in the right dosages.
The treatment plan will usually consist of therapy as well – especially in the beginning, because
finding out that you have bipolar disorder may now interfere with what your life was like before.
You may even go through a “grieving process” over your past life.
So you will need therapy for all the issues that the disorder will bring into your life.
Here’s where the supporter will be such a help to you.
Supporters help their loved ones in so many ways – they will encourage you, help you learn to take your medications, go to doctor and therapist appointments, learn to de-stress your life, and help manage your disorder.
It may take time and effort to find the right treatment plan for you, but that’s also another way a supporter can help.
Most of all, a supporter can help someone with bipolar disorder to realize that they are still loved and cared for in spite of having a disorder that might otherwise cause them to feel isolated and alone.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
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I don’t care
Surely, when the beatings continue nearly every day the law is obliged to intervene? It’s no good for that person caught up in a bi-polar episode that lasts twenty years, caring for his loved ones while dodging knives and mobiles et al. And all the while she refuses to acknowledge what she knows, delaying the inevitable diagnosis until after we’re all dead. It’s not an overstatement, cause that person is me, and for the good of all my family, I’ve said enough is enough, I’ve had it being the worm under your foot, I’ve had enough of my sons watching their dad turned into a punch bag, his un-asked-for kindness thrown away in state. I going, I’m taking the boys and going. Maybe then, a reconciliation of mind will take place. Maybe then she can move forward to a better place. But I tell you what, even if she does so, non of the journey will have been worth it.
Great point! I too was not diagnosed until I was 35 years old. I always wondered why I did some of things I did prior to being diagnosed. Finally, I took matters into my own hands, when things had become so messed up and bad in my life. I went to the doctor inquiring why I was doing what I was doing and explained that something was drastically wrong. I always wondered why at that age this was being told to me and I had not heard any such diagnosis in the past. So your point about the age issue is definitely right! The doctor finally listened to me and then the process of seeing the proper doctors started. It has been a long road stabilizing and getting the right cocktail of medications for me. Actually I have just had yet another medication change. It is definitely important to take the meds and take them regularly. I too have two sons, and watching them at times I do wonder if they have inherited this disease from me. When I took my youngest to the paediatrician, she simply stated he was just too young to diagnose. I was not overly impressed on that theory. The biggest hurdle I find is getting the doctor’s to take the time to listen and at least give the situation the benefit of the doubt. The best that can happen is the diagnosis is NOT bipolar. Anyway, I love your articles and they really hit home! Just receiving these daily helps me to feel that I am not alone in this.
I agree it takes time, but what to do if the patient plays around with her meds and then on top of that takes any kind of painkillers especially Granpa’s. I believe this contra’s the medication.
Hallo Dave and Team,
I have been reading and passing on your mails to a very close friend (who has gotten herself into some serious hot water) for a long time now but the unfortunate thing is we cannot find suitable help in South Africa, every one seems to have the disorder or know about the disorder but professionally we are falling very short of the correct meds and therapy. It just seems if all else fais shove the patient into clinc for 3 weeks and the rest will take care of it’s self.
Hopefull you have specialists that you know of in Johannesburg or Pretoria, there is a clinic in Cape Town but it is very very far from us. Your help and research has been a fantastic help thank you.
Best regards,
Marlene
Hi, I have been getting your e-mails for a number of years. In some ways I am glad that you are no longer posting these e-mails daily. But I do need to find a group or a social worker who can help me to deal with my Bipolar issues and other relationship issues. Cause I am Bipolar and have other issues to deal with. I think I want a one on one situation where I can deal with my problems would be best. I have tried Peer Support and other groups that are supposed to help me with other Psych issues. If I could use my new Psych Dr and also use groups from my old Psych set up, I think I might manage to improve and strive forward at a more rapid rate at improving my quality of life.