Hi,
Today I want to talk about Ways to Help Your Loved One Stay On Track:
1. Don’t Let Them Get Lazy
It’s hard for your loved one when they, perhaps, have lost their job and are now on disability. Some people lose their sense of direction when they have nothing to wake up
for any more when they have no job to go to. Don’t let your loved one get lazy just because they aren’t working any more. Encourage them to make a To-Do List, or something else that forces them to be productive in some way every day – just something that gets them out of bed with a day’s goal in mind.
2. Make Sure They Stick to Their Treatment Plan
Sometimes loved ones may stick to their treatment plans in the beginning, when they know you’re watching them, but then they slack off when they think you’re not looking. Don’t let that happen to your loved one. Make sure they stick to their treatment plan. This is so important. Especially when it comes to their medication. No, they’re not a child, and you can’t make them take their medication by forcing it down their throat. But you can encourage them and reinforce the importance of taking it. Be the same way with the rest of their treatment plan – going to their appointments with their psychiatrist, doctor, and therapist. Eat a good diet, exercise, and sleep right, etc.
3. Use a Buddy System
Try to keep them on track by finding a “BP Buddy” for them – maybe someone from their bipolar support group. Someone who knows what they’re going through, and is perhaps sharing the same struggles. Maybe they can do some things together, maybe
some things to keep them from getting bored – maybe they share the same interests, or at
least could go out to eat or to the movies, etc.
4. Encourage Them to be Independent
Don’t act like your loved one’s babysitter. Encourage them to be independent, and not to be dependent on you. You want to be supportive, and you want them to feel your support and to know that you’re there for them, but at the same time, you don’t want them to feel as if you’re smothering them. If you have grown children, remember back to when your children were teenagers and were trying to show that they were “grown up.” Your loved one is going through the same thing. Stay close enough that if they want your help, you can help them, but give them enough room that they can do what they can for themselves.
5. Be Their Cheerleader
When your loved one does make advances in their growth, say, in therapy, be their personal cheerleader! Make sure they know that you are on their side, not only NOT
nagging them, but being positive and encouraging, and cheering them on to do
good so that they don’t get depressed. Even small advances can be good ones.
Being a good supporter isn’t an easy job. But it is so important to your loved one that you encourage them every step of the way.
6. Make Time For Yourself
You need to take care of yourself as well as your loved one. You don’t want to get burnt
out, do you? If you get sick or stressed out, who would take care of your loved one? So
it is important to take care of yourself first. You need to make sure you are balanced
physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, and spiritually. You also need to have balance in your work and home life. And between taking care of your loved one and taking care of yourself. It’s important for you to keep your stress levels down and to relax when you need to, and to do things that are enjoyable for you. You should practice hobbies that you enjoy as well. These make you feel productive and help your self-esteem.
7. Keep a Journal or Mood Chart
Record your feelings in a journal, diary, on the computer, or on a mood chart. This will keep you from “stuffing” them, and will help you to express them in a healthy way. This is important, as it will help you to stay emotionally healthy by letting your emotions out. If this doesn’t work for you, you might want to get your own therapist.
These have just been some ways to help your loved one stick to their system, but also some suggestions that might help you as well.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
I need help by someone who knows how I feel
my girlfriend is BP (type 1?) She was diagnosed as a child but never received any formal treatment. Now she is 33, mother of three, divorced 3 times. She “treats herself” without meds by reading up on how to control her mood swings. I’ve been seeing her for 5 months and can see how miserable she is. She says she’s curious how meds would make her feel but says it’s such a long drawn out process to get re-diagnosed. She’s unemployed but her kids keep her active and busy. She has plans to move out into the middle of nowhere and homeschool her children after this year, which will pretty much mean the end of our relationship. I just hate to see her this way and don’t know how to help her except be there for her when she needs an ear. Any advice?
All of this sounds so wonderful, My husband has been diagnosed for almost 5 years and refuses treatment. None of these things will work in my world. You can’t keep him on track in any way shape or form.
Happy Cheer Up Day, Dave!
As me and my friend reminisce your list and “fond” childhood memories – always a child with the grin on the face, we were given the same advice “lovingly” that you give your followers
Fret Not! over what are we to eat, drink, and who we are to marry some day – these are the very things that come to those that “worry not” about em.
So the same applies to our friends that we want to say “stay with us” – we are your good friends (not trying to mommy or stepmommy you here), I’m only concerned about your welfare as your Heavenly Father has already shown us the definition of “child welfare” cute right?
absolutely! motivate, lead the cheer, go out and shop shop shop particularly after a certain event.
I got all this info not from my sister but from My Girlfriend – cool aint it?
My husband is BP and Schizo Effective. Also suffers from chronic pain, which only makes his condition worse and harder to handle. He is medicated but the old meds quit working and we are in transition. He doesn’t always take them at the right time and will delay taking them because they make him sleepy.
When I try to regulate his medications, I am called the pill nazi and controlling. Now he is so manic and resentful that he is lying and hiding things. Talking to other women supposedly “just as friends” and deleting texts and messages so no one can read them and see what he is saying. He has even told some of them that we are separated.
I love him when he is stable. But when manic he emotionally hurts me and our 3 children. Their grades and even physical health have taken a toll with this manic session.
People tell me to keep hanging on. My heart and my beliefs tell me to not give up. But the broken part of me from all of this says to just let him go. When he stabilizes he will come back. But what if he doesn’t? What if he hurts himself somehow? How do I explain that to my kids?
We also have a 12 year old son who is bipolar and ADHD and terrified that he will end up like his dad. I am at a loss at what the best decision is on how to handle this whole situation. I love my husband dearly when he is stable. I do not believe in leaving him, especially when he is sick and needs me.
Hello!
Please read our story of linving with schizophrenic son.
I’m a mother of three children, two boys age 29 and 27, and a girl 25 years old. It has been 21 years since my husband past away. My elder son in ages 17 start to develop schizophrenia. In the beginning we had very difficult time till we understand his illness.
His been hospitalised five times till now, when he had difficult crisis and become violent toward family members. He don’t take medication just a depot injection ones in three weeks.
He does whatever he wants, criticizes us all the time for pointless. Watches TV channels that he wants and turn off the television when he wants even when others want to wach it.
He is able to take care of his personal hygiene, takes shower, brushes his teeth and cleans his clothes .
He wants everything to be as he says.
He usually swear and when he is angry, broke plates or cups and physically attacking us and get us out of the house. This time punched me in the head complaining that I was not speaking good words.
Recently I’m thinking to move out of the house and leave him alone , to live in an apartment which is 2km away from home. But I worring whether he could live alone and accept my help from the distance and accepts me to visit him.
Please advice me, because I can’t live with him.
I appreciate your time!
Hi, I am concerned about my son. He is being suicidal sometimes. I encourage him to see his Dr. and tell him how much i love him. He has good days and bad days and sometimes doesn’t understand his condition.
I have done 51/50’s in the past…but i make decisions through observation alone. I do believe he can bounce back with a lot of love.
We have been isolated by family…is not a pretty situation and i need coping skills…how do you suggest that i navigate this situation? I have an appt with my therapist soon.