Hi,
I was watching an episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos the other night, and they showed this one video about a kid who got angry. He had built this big building with colored blocks, and it was really high…But then he got mad, and kicked it! Then the whole thing toppled, and it was like in slow motion, and the whole thing came crashing down on top of him! And he ran crying to his mother, like it was the building’s fault! Like he just couldn’t figure out what had happened!
Well…You’re not a toddler any more. But you know…There are situations where you still might find yourself wondering why you’re sitting in the middle of a bunch of “colored building blocks”
because of your anger. Anger can cause us to do things that we later regret.
I’m sure that’s happened in your loved one’s case with their bipolar disorder. For example, anger
and rage are symptoms of a bipolar manic episode, and something that you should look out for.
Especially if it becomes a pattern in your loved one.
Anger is an emotion. A reaction to something. Something you don’t like. Something that, say, rubs you the wrong way. Something that hurts you. Especially if it’s been going on for awhile.
And especially if you have no control over it. That’s when we usually react the hardest.
Like you may get angry over your loved one’s bipolar behavior. You may not like what they do.
So it makes you feel helpless. And this might make you angry. It might even make you angry at them. So what do you do with this anger? Do you fight with them? That’s what usually happens when the supporter gets angry at their loved one with bipolar disorder. The problem is that it’s easy for that to happen in too many cases.
Worse yet is when you stuff that anger and it turns into resentment. Because that can actually make you physically sick. It can cause you to have stomach problems like even have ulcers.
It can cause you to have an increase of headaches, or even have migraines. It can cause you to have body aches. It can cause a whole host of problems. And if you’re not careful, the stress can build up to such a degree that you are even in danger of having a heart attack or even a stroke.
So what’s the answer? It’s simple: Stop being angry. Now, I didn’t say it would be easy. I just said it was simple. Just ask yourself if it’s worth getting sick over just to hold onto all that anger, and you’ll see that the answer is definitely NO! Then choose to put your anger (and stress) away and to talk to your loved one instead. Tell them about the behavior that makes you so angry, and ask them to work on changing it.
Well, I have to go!
Your Friend,
Dave
Post responses below
for David Oliver,
Just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for your insight and writing. You will never know how much you help me and, I’m sure, many others,with your logical, common sense discussions and advice on bipolar disorder.
– I think I’m a “supporter” (not sure, because of past “shrinks”);
– I’ve tried to show your writings to my spouse (so far without any success); and,
– You have sustained me totally, along with going to church, with your writing.
PLEASE PLEASE CONTINUE.
gg
(p.s. after 2 years, by a “miracle” that I won’t detail, my spouse is actually taking medication, and has acknowledged to me, that she might be “ill.” Thank you again for your help!!!
amen!
THE FIRST CUP OF BLESSINGS!!!!
RIP UNCLE MARCEL
My dear friend is a thread away from another bipolar episode. He has got himself into a huge pickle (put mildly) with a woman who at first seemed very nice n genuine, then turned out to be a real control freak. She took advantage of his vulnerability n now seems to have him hypnotised doing every (crazy) thing she asks. I would like to tell you the whole story in private (never know who reads these posts). The worst thing is there is absolutely nothing I can do to help him now, except pray that it won’t get any worse than it already is. He has an anger issue, too, at times. Besides bipolar he also has PTSD, which has never been treated. Some stressful situation happens n one disorder usually sets the other off. Before you know it he is in an episode again. Since he has got involved with this woman he totally denies having bipolar n has stopped taking his meds again. It’s only a matter of days now, good luck to her!
I just got your two books and the CD’s two days ago and i am already almost through the first book. After living with my sons illness for 23 years; I have still found a lot of good information. It was also good to know that his rage is also part of the illness. I always thought they were from something else. Dealing with my son’s illness for so long finally did me in and I ended up in the psych hospital in September. I learned a lot in there, too, and have become much better at taking care of myself first and i have realized that I have done everything I can to help him out, but the time has come for him to take some responsibility for his actions. He is still always blaming it on somebody else. I know he will never get better, but I still hope for a little more stability. He is a rapid cycler, which sometimes is hard to keep up with. Thanks for you informative information. It was worth every penny already.
i spent some time with my girlfriend on two days and I finally have good news!!! SHE SO GETS ME!!!!!
I LEARNED TO STOP BEING ANGRY!!!