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What’s going on? How was your weekend?
I didn’t do much. Kind of boring.
I also had to work a whole lot with Andrea
on a lot of web stuff.
Anyway, I wanted to tell you this amazing
story which illustrates and important
lesson for someone with bipolar disorder.
THIS IS A MAJOR BIPOLAR LESSON.
Read this carefully. If you or your
loved one are struggling with bipolar disorder,
I seriously think you’ll find the reason here.
Okay, so there is this kid that I know. He’s
actually not a kid really he is mid 20s. Maybe
that is a kid?
Anyway, I met him about 6 years ago. 6
years ago, he revealed to my friend and myself
that he had never gone on a date. He had never
ever really spoken to a girl.
Years passed by and he still hadn’t. People
use to make fun of him and someone even called
him a “walking disaster.” Some called him
the “the face of Iraq.” I have no idea why
people called him that. I think because they
thought he represented disaster or failure.
I know that’s mean but hey in some of the gyms
I belong to, the people who are 30 and 40 act
like they are in grade school :).
Anyway, my one friend felt really bad for him.
He tried hard to help him. He gave him pointers
on how to ask a woman out, he found people in
the gym for him to go out with. He kind of
brokered dates for him.
I remember this one time, my friend introduced
him to a girl. To make a long story short, he
was suppose to go to I think TGI Fridays (if
you are out of the US, this is like a restaurant
chain that serves like American Food).
Anyway, the guy went, and guess what? The girl
never showed up. He waited hours. Not only did
she not show up but she never came back to the
I was amazed. I couldn’t figure out what was
wrong with this kid. I wondered was he cursed.
So this meant at one point he had never gone
out on a date and he was already older
than 22 years old.
So then this new gym opened up. I told him
he had to go because he needed a fresh start.
I told him there would be more possibilities
After he complained, I dragged him kicking
and screaming so to speak.
HERE’S THE AMAZING THING and the big bipolar
lesson is coming….
He went into this new gym that was in a different
location and he met a girl. Guess what?
Take a guess and then scroll
Don’t cheat. Guess than scroll….
She liked him. She told him he was good
looking and a cool guy. Then other girls started
to say the same thing. Over a few months, he developed
confidence and he went out on dates, and had a girl
I saw him the other day. He actually walked right
up and asked a girl for her number. I was amazed. I told
him how proud I was of him. Then I looked hard at him
and said, “What do you think the difference was?”
He said, “Dude I don’t know?” I told him I knew.
Here’s the deal. In the old gym he thought of
himself as a loser. He would say, “no one likes
me. I am a loser.” Then it became a self fulfilling
prophecy. That meant, he thought he was a loser
and no one would like him and he was ugly and
that’s what he got.
In the new gym, someone thought he was good
looking and cool so he started to believe he
was. Then since he thought he was, other people
thought he was. Make sense?
You may be thinking, “Dave what the heck does
this have to do with bipolar disorder?”
Good question and I am about to tell you.
I am NOT a doctor, therapist, insurance agent,
lawyer and I am NOT giving professional advice.
These are only my opinions.
Oh and I don’t work in the circus? Someone
wrote me and asked, “I think I saw you in the
circus…I saw a guy named David Oliver?” Odd.
Okay. Here’s the deal. With many people with bipolar
disorder, they think about themselves in the
-I can never get stable
-I am disabled
-I can never be successful
-Bipolar disorder is the worst disorder and my life
-People will hate me because I have bipolar disorder
-Medication doesn’t work
-Doctors are bad greedy people
-There is no doctor in the world that can help me
-Medications have tons and tons of side effects
=I am doomed to failure
This is some of the “self talk” that some people
with bipolar disorder say to themselves. As a result
they get what they say so to speak.
These people really struggle. I noticed that
people with bipolar disorder do well when they think
-I accept I have bipolar disorder
-I can manage it
-I will manage it
-I will beat it
-I will have a great life
-I have some limitations but I can do a lot of things
-I can be successful
-People will respect and love me despite having bipolar disorder
See this type of self talk and how it’s different?
The kid I was telling you about in gym #1 had horrible
self talk. In gym #2, he had much better self talk.
I was talking about him to my friend Margaret and
she was saying how she was happy that he finally could
have a girl friend. She said to me, “It all started
with him and his head.” She meant that he didn’t
look any different but he was getting different results
as a result of his new thinking.
In my courses/system, almost everyone that I interview
indicates the importance of attitude and self talk
when it comes to bipolar disorder.
If you haven’t gotten my material, take a look:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Interesting huh? If you know any really
successful people with bipolar disorder,
ask them questions and you will see how
they think. I guarantee it’s much different
than people who are struggling.
I have to take off. Catcha you tomorrow.
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.