Hi Dave,

Yeah, I’ve heard it so many times about taking supplements instead of taking their medications. In fact, my Schizzo-Bipolar son wanted to do that too but I told him that he will not stay long in this earth if he will do that. Luckily he was afraid of dying so he never started. Sometimes a care- giver has to be persistant so as to be heard totally and yes it is very hard to get through to them but if you care enough you must insist.

You are indeed doing a good thing keep up the good work.

Take care of yourself too.

Elena

I’m new to this. My adult son, married, new baby, mortgage, school loans, etc. just had an episode now in the depression stage. How do they go to work and perform their jobs? By the time this is easing up, he’ll be looking for another job. Can’t afford to do this. So frustrating watching and not being able to help. Thanks for listening.

Dave asked “Where does it come from?” My guess is it comes from Chinese whispers usually eminating from one or several people with no knowledge of experience of a subject claiming they know a “common sense” answer. Classic I think are those folk who have seen all the self-improvement videos or gone on the course (often paid for by their employers) that convince them ANYONE can improve their lot, be more positive and realise their dreams. Thenm they tell everyone they meet THEY can do the same … usually before they have even started to realise their own, of course, and assume they can tell people who are unwell (such as us with BP) that we too can be cured of what they assume is some psychological negative spirit. Yeah, the course or the worshipful management guru said society is full of people tanking up on Prozac when they could cure their depression by a spot of NLP and positive thinking. Then, someone esle hears that and they repeat it only with som embelishment: “A friend of mine knows how a friend of got rid his depression by …” Next, a friend of a friend got rid of depression (and therefore, came of medication) because of … And next, a friend of a friend of a friend was cured of … um, I think it might have been BP … by coming off medication. Oh, and her might have done a NLP course, too. Then a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend got over BP by stopping their medication …

Wallah! One corrupted line of communication. That’s Life!

My understanding about bipolar is that it’s a chemical imbalance that can only be brought back into balance through the intake of a medically formulated drug. There are a large variety of drugs new and old for the many, many types of people who suffer from the many, many combinations of mental illnesses. Some respond to some and other do not. Finding the right physician to assist the patient in finding the right drugs is essential in trying to maintain this illness.

There is no cure. It’s like diabetes. Something is not working right in the brain. It requires constant and steady maintenance. No one likes to take a pill(s) everyday. But if I don’t take my Lipitor, I am likely to suffer a stroke and I don’t want that to happen to me — I love life too much. And, I don’t like the fact that my liver is paying a huge price so that my blood can be healthier for my brain either, but that’s the price I have to pay for the genetic malfunction of my body and that is the choice I make — take the pill and live.

Better health is about choices, responsibility, and consequences.

Don’t go off your meds people. It’s like playing Russian Roulette with your brain. The coming and going of the prescriptive drugs takes time for your body to assimilate and produce the changes that are hoped for. Sometimes it’s trial and error. Give it time and when it appears that it’s not working talk about it with your main supporter and go back together to your physican and let him/her make whatever changes he/she thinks are best after listening to what’s going on with you. Again finding the right physican is probably the most important thing you can do. Check out Dave’s advice on how to do that. And, by all means, let your main supporter do all foot work for you if you are not able to do it for yourself and until you can.

Supporters really need to get educated properly in order to really be of support. Read. Go online. Talk on the blog. I understand an organization called NAMI has good resources for supporters.

And, remember this is a chemical imbalance. That means that ANYTHING you take into your body chemically is going to either add to the imbalance or help to rebalance the brain — good or bad. It behooves us to know about what we are eating and drinking and what things are poluting our bodies. It’s a physical health issue — the brain is a part of our physical body.

Keep reading and talking. We are all learning. And, have a good day.

🙂 ma

Hi Dave,

Lets not also forget that people w/bipolar sometimes, well…lie. I’ve experienced firsthand a bipolar family member say “so and so said I should come off my medicine” when i know so and so DID NOT say this. They’ve even claimed their therapist said it when I know the therapist DID NOT.

I’d imagine that as misery loves company, a few people might “pipe up” with this same story when in a group meeting.

I’m certainly not saying that people NEVER give horrible advice to their friends – I totally agree that this happens. But a room full of bipolar people saying that their friends all said it’s ok to come off meds? Hmmmm….

I attended weight watchers for awhile and though I know bipolar and being overweight are not exactly comparable, I can tell you there was always a whole lot of agreement in the meetings…we loved to commiserate. But our leader was there to bring us back to playing ground which sounds like you do at these meetings.

Just a different perspective on the situation I guess.

Remember if you only reach one person wouldn’t it be worth it?

Thank you, Jennpen, for your supportive words. After posting on the blog this morning, I was able to write a wonderful, loving letter to my children and express good positive things about them and me instead of dwelling on what we can not control about their father’s bipolar illness. It’s so easy to get lost in someone else’s life and forget that we have a live of our own to live.

I am going out to enjoy the sunshie today.

Happy day everyone.
🙂 ma

Hi Dave
My concern is with having these “support”meetings at all. I have been to a couple as a bipolar support person and did get some helpful info, but mostly they are a downer for the person with bipolar. They would be so much better if they could have some success stories like “I am successful because I stay on my meds” by people with bipolar that are doing well. What an awesome way for someone to give back to their community. I suppose it might be hard for a successful bipolar survivor to be in the presence of others not doing so well. I would love to find people who are living a successful life and are bipolar to inspire my loved with bipolar to stay on their meds and to encourage them with other aspects of their life that they can attribute their success to.
I too plead, do not go off your medication. Find someone who can support you in that decision.

Look I think people who happen to have bipolar can go off their meds & give thier bodies a break from what are toxic meds & their minds a break from the constant reminder meds give that they’re mentally ill. BUT this must be done with their doc’s help & they must know their simptoms well & have suporters they can trust to help when they are suffering symptoms of an on comming mainia or depression. Like why take meds for years if one only has episods every two yrs or so?

Donna:

And where is the fine line that differentiates between someone who only has an episode every two years and someone who has them every 2 months or better yet, rapid cycles? I think this approach is a rather dangerous one. Stick with a good psychiatrist and stay on your meds. It’s just too easy for bipolars to go off their meds for a variety of reasons anyway. And the cycle always ends up the same. Is it really worth it?

Let’s face it, there is a multitude of people out there with this illness. This illness isn’t just about the person who has it. There is a whole other multitude more of people being effected by a bipolar person through personal relationships and each and every time the illness goes untreated people are effected. Children grow up living in enviornments that are influenced by the unfortunates that this illness brings when left untreated. As supporters we are talking about supporting our bipolar loved ones because we do love them and care about them. Are we not also concerned about those who are outwardly effected? I am. I know I have been effected. And so have my children and grandchildren. I want my children and my grandchildren to know that there is treatment and hope for better lives for any mental illness. I want them to have the knowledge and capability to get help should they develop a mental illness because that happens, too. My father was bipolar. My husband is bipolar. His father and mother were bipolar. Two of his sister are bipolar. Two of my daughters are bipolar. What are our chances of having more bipolar in our family. Pretty big. Knowledge is power and power equals being pro-active for a better cause.

Please don’t play with or go off your meds, people. There is little to be gained and so very much to lose.

🙂 ma

Dave, I whole heartedly agree with you on this subject.  On the wrong advice from friends and loved one who have little or no knowledge at all.  My Daughter lives in chorpis christi tx and the doctors don’t even seem very informed. and give extremely harmful advice. I know this because until your help my  other daughter  went through 10 years without any real true info. and help. It was a nightmare  and could have been her death  had we not finally got help. Don’t know what to do for my daughter down south now? Do you have any answers?SincerelyLorie m. Mong

Hi David:

I believe the major problem with keeping a person on prescription medications, no matter what condition is being treated, is everyone likes to think their “Chronic” problem is not so bad that they need to take the prescriptions, especially those who have to pay for their meds. And it seems the whole World has been on a “Natural Kick” that keeps growing, and these vitamins and herbs, etc. tend to make people believe you can be cured if they take this or that and the “Witches’ Brews”, as I call them are a lot cheaper than the meds they would have to buy. There is a slight bit of truth to their claims of whatever it should relieve, but you would have to take a lot of it to feel the effects, making the prescription actually cheaper to buy than the “Brew”. I take several drugs to prevent migraines and depression that are also used to treat BPD, Schizophrenia, and other mood disorders. Fortunately, I have Medicare and Medicaid because if I had to pay for these I would be doing without and in the ER every other day for IV therapy to treat my migraines. Unfortunately for my daughter I can only provide 2 of the 3 meds she needs to be taking. The Risperdol (not sure of spelling) is the one she needs the most and the one that is the most expensive, of course. I am pushing her towards applying (again) for SSI and keep it going this time. If I push her too hard she will withdraw, go to her bedroom, and tell me to leave her alone. If I don’t push enough it will never get done, so I am trying to find the “median balance of push” to get her to take the 1st step towards applying for SSI. When she qualifies for SSI she will qualify for Medicaid. Then she could finally take the medication that has proven to help her more than any other combination she has been on in the past 8 years or so. Sometimes I wonder if she is afraid to “feel normal”. I believe her father is because a couple of years ago I got him fixed up with some meds to help stabilize his mood swings and it was working, I could tell the difference in his voice when we would talk over the phone. He would admit he felt better than he ever had before. Then after about 8 months of feeling somewhat normal he called me, with the same old hateful voice he used when he was having an episode and informed me that he couldn’t take the meds anymore because it was causing him to have migraines. My daughter tells me he came up with a reason to stop the meds because to admit that a medication helps him also means that he has to admit something is wrong with him, he has just now reached the point where he will say maybe there is a problem somewhere. I feel sorry for him, but he drives me nuts and I can’t stand to talk to him on the phone anymore because he knows what buttons to push to make me yell at him, thus proving to himself that I do still care. We have been divorced for about 15 years and he will never have a relationship, not even a 1-night stand. My daughter tells me that’s because he still loves me and always will, but I have moved on a couple of times since our divorce (3 to be exact) and currently have another husband with BPD to contend with. It has been my experience that, for the most part, people do not want a “chronic” any kind of disease and to continue taking medication day after day at the same times means they have to come to terms within themselves that they are “broken” so to speak and “can’t be fixed”. I am the same way, I have COPD, in the final stage of emphysema meaning there is no cure for me and I am “broken”, but instead of making “my broken” better, I will suffer a little more each day until God determines my time here is up. No, I do not use my medications as prescribed. I use my nebulizer when I absolutely have to, I only take steroids when I am getting a cold or virus. I hate to admit that I am “terminally broken” and will never get any better and the worst part of my situation is I might or might not have been able to prevent it, if I had stopped smoking, but I will never know for sure because I still smoke.

This is for perphila:

I am very sympathetic to your situation. But 1st I want to stress that I am not a medically trained person, other than previously working in skilled nursing facilities. I base my responses solely on experience. A DR of any sort is human and they all make mistakes. The psychs that you have to wait the longest for you (or your husband) to get your initial evaluation app’t are usually very busy and that is typically because they are very good. I have seen several specialists over the years and the only time I got a fairly fast (2 weeks) app’t was because my DR called the other DR and made the app’t himself. Otherwise, I would have been waiting for 2-3 months. What is worse, is you may have to shop around to get a good Psych and that can take a lot of time. Let’s face it: Treating BPD (or anything medical condition) with the right medications is a trial and error. Sometimes you get lucky and find the right mix that help the person fairly quickly and then some, such as my daughter, take several years to find the combination to help her the most. We live in a rural type setting, although we are getting more DRs everyday, but 8 years ago when my daughter went through all the counseling would be able to help her, her counselor got on the phone and got her an app’t within 2 weeks for her initial assessment. Otherwise, a 2-3 month wait. This was amazing because he was the only psych in our area who accepted ID Medicaid, which was all we had. He has been a fantastic Psych, I see him occasionly. My daughter doesn’t have any medical insurance but he has seen her 6 times this past year without mentioning any type of payments and provided her with samples of Risperadol (unsure of sp) until he ran out of them. He has pretty much always been available to my daughter and he told her in advance if he was going to be out of reach and about how long. He cares about his patients and he does whatever he can to help them. So it can take a very long time to find a good Psych, but they are out there. You just have to keep going to get the right one. But for now I would say that primarily you must take care of you and your children. I have been down that road with the father of my daughter. While he never hurt our daughter physical, he made up for it mentally and mental pain never heals when it comes from a Bi-polar to a Bi-polar. If you are afraid he may hurt your children then you should check out supervised visitation. It is up to you now to make sure your babies don’t get hurt from their father and to keep you from being hurt more. If he physically abuses you then dial 911. Do not falter, just do it and then he will know you mean business and he may never hurt you again. But you are going through a divorce initiated by him and you need the documentation of his abuse so you must call the cops and get everything on paper because if you are in the right state and he and his so-called DR helps, they can turn the story around and make it appear as if you are crazy and incable to properly care for your children. You can end up losing custody of your children to him, if he should be able to maintain through the divorce and decide he wants custody. So Beware just because people with BPD have episodes, they are very intelligent and manipulative. Good luck.

You said it, Dave. I have tried nutritional supplements. For one thing they are out of my budget. For another, medications are still needed. I have had two major episodes of bi-polar in which I was suicidal. Neither of them was much fun and both of them were caused by family problems and the wrong medications. I would like to never experience this again!

Hi Dave, What is up with the friends? Sometimes I forget to take my meds. when I wake up and just today I was with a friend going to Jamba and she said did you take your meds. today. Then she said I am going to name it, the bipome- Cruela- she could not bring me home fast enough to take my meds.I am going back to school in April, SSI is not enough and from what I have seen is people kinda give up or get stuck there. My cousin is on it she is smart, beautiful, however she can not leave the house, she rarely showers, and she has been fighting my battels and winning.We always talk about our lives would be better if she could just walk out the door. It is what it is, and we can at least bounce off each other. She has said to me why work when you can sit on your ass- I do not want to sit on my ass, I want to make money again. Thanks for all you do Dave!, Karen

Hi Dave
My husband was under the hospital 2yrs ago as his sister is a nurse and he was showing all the classic symptoms of bipolr, however he was discharged saying it was circumstances at the time that led to his behavoiur.
he has now been admitted to hospital under section 2 of the mental health act.
He is so angry and does not believe that he is ill and hate me and everyone that says he is ill, this is so difficult as we have been together for 20 yrs and he now doesn’t want me.

Hi Dave,
Keep in good work! It’s helping Bipolar and mental illness.
Okay,I want shre about medications ask your Dr, I take one Lithium in morning and 2 at bedtime,togretol 3x a day and Clonazepam 3x a day and one Abilify in morning seem to help Bipolar. At first depression was there a while then went away.Just thought give you the medications may be right for those suffering.
Dave you did well keep up with it,May we all thank you for advice. Yes please dont get off medications youre sitting on time bomb! That extactly Dr told me.
God bless you all out there be with you.Amen.
Warm Regards,
Clinton

Hi Dave, Usually in our support groups we tell the newcomers, what worked for me may not work for you. We care and support you when your up or down. But we should never play Doctor. Thanks, Be good to yourself and others…..Catusflower

for helenm
Thank you for your comments.
His visits with the kids right now are supervised. At least in home. He is still transporting them because of an oversight of the judge. What I am afraid of is that those visits will stop being supervised because of his doctor saying he is ok. Bottom line is he was diagnosed bipolar. He was on medications. He never saw a therapist. He is now no longer taking anything and his doctor seems ok with that. I’m not. He still isn’t seeing a therapist. My husband hadn’t even been seeing his doctor long enough for him to determine what kind of bipolar he has just that he was in the “spectrum”. I was thinking the doctor was ok and we were lucky since he seemed to be good on my husband first try. The doctor gave my husband samples to take home when he told the doctor he couldn’t afford the medications. He told the doctor he could no longer see him if he didn’t have disability and he needed something written from the doctor to get it. the doctor did that for him too. My husband was angry at him for not filling out the paperwork as fast as my husband wanted but he did it and so my husband was able to get disabllity from his work. That is my husbands only income because he doesn’t work and yet he says he isn’t ill. The doctor encouraged my husband to bring me into the sessions but I had no idea because my husband didn’t want me there. It wasn’t until I called on my own I found that out but by then it was too late. My husband was gone and left destruction behind. The first meeting we had with the doctor together was after my husband had left and we had met earlier in the day and he had tried to hit me and told me not to come. I was a wreak and in tears and scared but I came anyway. He was furious. He never said anything but he was shaking with anger towards me. As soon as the doctor came out he was a totally different person. Cool, collected, calm and distant. He tried to sound logical and agreed with everything the doctor was saying and he whole time I was crying in the other chair. If anything I was the one who looked terrible. The session wasn’t about him and his illness at all. It was about how he wanted to “terminate” our marriage. That was the first time I had heard him say that. I was in tears all over again. Since then all his bad actions are supposedly about divorce not his illness. I can not understand how the doctor can feel my husband is bipolar and needed medication to saying his is in a normal mood and doesn’t need medication any longer. I can understand taking the time to find what medication is right for him and I know that can take a long time. As it was we hadn’t gotten the combination correct before he quit. he hadn’t even taken everything he was perscribed. How do I present that in court? How do I protect my kids from his actions. He has been physically abusive to the kids before. Not beatings like he had experienced as a child and maybe that is his ruler on what is abusive and what isn’t. Maybe he sees slaming his son into a glass door and swearing in his face ok compared to black eyes and swollen faces he and his mother and siblings got from his alcoholic, depressive father. It is unacceptable to me and what he and I both felt and talked about before all this. I have distanced myself from him enough now I don’t think he has an oppertunity to hit me and the time he did I didn’t get a protective order because I just was in shock. I deeply regret not doing that now. Anyway, this is a long thank you but the topic of going off meds is a timely one for me. I wonder, how long does it take for a person who stops taking meds to falter. I know it varies from person to person depending on what they took and the severity of how the illness affects them personally but is there an ANY kind of average? Not that i am asking you personally…:) The more I learn the more questions I have….thanks again.

Nowadays is really common to use antidepressants to medicate pain or anxiety .
We know that this kind of meds can make a person with bipolar disorder go into a maniac episode , sometimes a very big one !So , it is very , very important to tell to any kind of doctor all kind of meds you are taking !