Bipolar Disorder Warning. Don’t fall for this.


What’s new?

I hope you are doing really well

You know, most of the time I get
emails that make me think I’m doing
a lot of good out there, that a lot of people
are reading my emails and are learning from
them and are feeling positive towards me and
towards the emails.

But I’ve got to tell you, I got this one email
this week that made me wonder about all of
that. Not as bad as wanting to shut down the
whole thing like I did that one time, but at
first, yeah, I did kind of feel down that bad,
thinking what am I doing, I’m not really
helping anyone, etc.

Here’s the email, so you can see for yourself
why I would feel that way:

“I have become more informed about the
disease. It has also succeeded in
making me more frightened about taking
on a significant other with bi-polar
disorder. In your e-mails I do not gain alot
“of positives” and after researching your site,
I’ve become very upset and leery about continuing my
relationship.” — Andrea


I felt so bad after reading that email! I mean,
I don’t want to be responsible for her being
more afraid about taking on a significant other
with bipolar disorder, or becoming very upset
and leery about continuing her relationship.

She also says that in my emails she doesn’t
gain a lot of positives, even after researching
my site. Now, this really bothers me, because
I always try to be uplifting and positive.

So I wracked my brain to try to think of
what she was talking about, or how she
could have gotten this impression.

The only thing I could think of is that
some of the things I talk about, yeah,
they can seem like they’re negative
things, but that’s only because I want
you to know the TRUTH, and sometimes
the truth, when you’re talking about
bipolar disorder, can seem negative.

But instead of thinking about it being
negative, like when I present them in
my courses, I present these issues as
being realistic, NOT negative:




This isn’t just in my courses and
systems, either. It’s in my emails,
as you know. Like when I talked
about the Stockdale Paradox,
(I also talked about this in my
courses as well), where you hope
for the best but still be expected for
the worst, like another bipolar

I have a friend that looks at it this
way: You know the story about
the glass being half full/half empty,
right? If you see the glass as half
full, you’re an optimist. If you see
the glass as half empty, you’re an
optimist. Well, my friend says she
doesn’t see the glass as half full OR
half empty – she just sees a half a
glass of water. She is just a realist.

That’s what I’m talking about. I’m
not a negative person. Far from it.
But I am a realist. And I try to help
you to be a realist as well.

I don’t begin to think I can help this
woman in the email with her personal
relationship – I’m not a therapist, a
doctor, psychiatrist, or a marriage
counselor. In fact, if I were to respond
to her at all, I would advise her to go
to one of those professionals.

I would also remind her that every
case of bipolar disorder is different,
and I could not respond to her single
email and give advice, again, because
each case is different, so I just don’t
do that.

So, in my defense, and I hope you
would back me up on this, I am NOT
a negative person, and I try very hard
not to put negative stuff on my site or
on my emails – but I do print the truth.

Now, sometimes on the website, like
when I print the news, well, I can’t
help it that that might be negative.
But would you rather I didn’t print
the news?

The one thing I am is HONEST.
And sometimes that might come
across as negative, even though I don’t
mean for it to be. But would you
rather I sugar-coat the truth, or give
it to you honestly?

Tell me, please, am I completely
wrong on this? Am I misunder-
standing? Is this woman right
and I’m wrong? I’d really like to know.

Just one last point that I would say
to this woman in my own defense.
If I were so negative against bipolar
disorder, would I have hired so many
people who have the disorder to work
for me?

I’d really like to know what you think
about this.

Your Friend,


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  1. Hi David,
    All I can say is thank you for all your time and effort. due to the work of both you and your team, I/we have a much greater understanding of the disorder and manage things together.
    Thanks again, keep up the good work!

  2. I read your latest newsletter, and this is the first time I’ve ever responded to an email. I am bipolar, and I have to tell you, the website has been a godsend to me. Dealing with this myself, I know what it’s like to be a realist, not a positive or negative person. You have to tell the whole truth, or people will not know what they are dealing with, let alone HOW to deal with it. I’ve found your comments to be very informative, they have helped me know when I am heading down that sippery slope, and how to tell friends, loved ones, and co workers just exactly how to deal with me when I am having one of my “moments”. Keep up the good work! We appreciate the time you take out of your busy schedule to keep us informed!

  3. Dave,

    I’m a bp supporter. My son, as per his dr, is a low maintenance, bp II. Your program has helped me, as well as my son, tremendously! I think mostly its because you do not sugar-coat anything. Your program tells it like it is; realistic. That’s what is needed, Dave.

    On the subject of the girl and her relationship, I can see her (overall) stance. It’s not easy, but you know…maybe she sees that she’s not where she needs to be in life to deal with it. And maybe that’s what is best for the bp person in her life. I’m not saying because one has bp the other should RUN FOR THE HILLS by any means. BUT a support system has to be strong.

    It’s not because of YOU or your program. It may be because through you and your program she may see what is needed… and she’s simply not willing or able — at this time — to walk that route.

    Many blessings to you, Dave!

  4. Hi David,

    Don’t let that discourage you people need information and have to make their own choices from what they find out. I was really scared I thought maybe that I had bi-polar but i realised that it was really my ex-parters working on my low self esteem from reading your materials i realised this. I think this is very useful and very important I have friends with partners and relatives with this disorder and it should be spoken about.

    Keep going you probably know in your heart whatyoua re doing is right.


  5. hello Mr. Oliver, I usually reply through my yahoo email. I was thinking that even though there might be some people that are frightened when they see the truth, I for one, even though I have bipolar I worry that one of my episodes would cause someone harm and I would have trouble forgiving myself if I did but I also take medications which I fully realize keeps me stable and I see a doctor. I feel my biggest problems are in spending money and hiding from the rest of the world when I feel unstable. I do not go to a store without a list and I don’t shop online. I also don’t shop if I feel manic or depressed since one goes hand in hand. I am going to school because I love to write and kind of feel pretty good about my writing ability. I have also made mistakes where trust is concerned, I told a instructor about bipolar and his reaction was that he had heard of bipolar but I am not sure what about it he has heard and I even sent him one of your emails about bipolar because I looked up to this person and he did think it was interesting but I am afraid that maybe I trusted too much and bombarded the poor man with emails and have made a crucial mistake in that area. I am not sure what damage I may have caused? I know I can’t make everyone understand, I don’t know where to go from here? I have asked him to reply with a simple yes or no answer and I guess that is all I can do? I probably should not have written like I would a pen pal? Would you like a pen pal, I love to write and I have gotten a few Editor’s choice awards on my poetry, I would be thrilled to show you, they are written to inspire and I can not show them unless you say you want to see them. I don’t want to keep repeating mistakes write to people who don’t want to hear from me. I do love your mini course and have kept it in my important files, you make a lot of sense and my family would say the same since they are my support system along with my doctor.

  6. Hi Dave, I would like to say thank you for all of the information and support you have provided! I am not BP but I have dated two women in the past 5 years that were severe BP’s. I have to sympathyze with Andrea, it was the worst experiences of my life. Neither of them were taking meds though. You simply cannot have a functioning relationship with a BP who does not seek the adequate treatment or will even aknowlege they have a problem. My experiance with them was like being eaten alive from the inside out by a hideous parasite……..I hate to characterize it like that but that is exactly what I felt. So Dave, keep up the great work and Andrea, I wish you all the luck in the world dealing with this issue; I’ve been there more than once!!!

  7. Hi David!
    What I can say here is, we cannot satisfy all the people in this world. We can only do our best and the rest is up to God.

    For me, yes, you are being realistic.
    Once, my Prof told me, people usually see what they want to see, what they search. And when you don’t know what are you searching, prepare to be confused. It’s like, you want to be positive, you will likely to think positive. But still, we should educate ourself that there’s always the limits, boundaries between positive and grandiose, being arrogance and self-approve, reality or fantasy and so on.

    And for me, despite having bipolar disorder, I still want to know the truth, and don’t want others to treat me as useless or as if I shouldn’t know the reality. Truth will set us free, and I hold on to the belief: Have the truth, even if it bitter. In other words, don’t treat me as a fool.

    And I found those true feelings in your course. If any lacks, we still can make correction, and put efforts to improve, always. Thank you, David.

    Yours sincerely,
    Moneirah Abu Bakar

  8. Hi David, It is what it is. I support my son that has Bipolar and it is not easy. People need to be realistic. You are telling people what they need to know not what they want to hear. Thanks Lisa

  9. Hi Davem

    Please don’t let a pre-judging fool like that email author bother you. I wish I had realized before I sent you a two page email thanking you the other day that it was a no response email you sent.
    The gist of what I said was: I was so grateful for you info. My daughter was just diagnosed with bi=polar this year. It took her getting in trouble with the law for us to realized there was something chemically that was at the root of her abherant behavior over the past few months.
    Believe me your newsletter and 47 page thesis really helped my understanding of this disease. I have told all I know about you and your web site.

    Thank you, All my regards,
    Mike Philips

  10. David,

    You tell the truth and a lot of people today don’t want to hear the truth. It’s easier to hide under the veil of denial than face the harder things in life. You are not responsible for how people react to your message. DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER! Whether this woman decides to stay with her significant other or not is not your responsiblity or fault. Chances are if she is talking that way, she probably has had doubts about the relationship for a long time and this has finally given her a “reason” to not stay. For the rest of us, yes sometimes it is hard to read, but afterwards I think to myself “at least now I understand”. Knowledge is power for change. Change in our own attitudes about BP, our partner or ourselves. Keep doing what you are doing and don’t question yourself. Just like on the playground, not everyone is going to like you. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t a likeable person.

  11. Your e-mails are in no way negative and are a true reflection of what it is like to experience and live with the disorder. I suspect the woman who e-mailed you was simply experiencing grief that needs to be worked out with a clinical psychologist who can explain the challenges of the disorder. I have BP1, and my fiance also has BP1, but he has an off/again on/again relationship with accepting it. His treatment is substandard. To make it short, sometimes I feel like giving up. But, in the end, I feel like your blogs have helped me to focus my energy in positive way towards helping him help himself, and despite having the disorder myself; I am able to also be a more effective supporter. Keep up the good work. It is sorely needed.

  12. dear dave,
    all I can say is if it were not for the information you send I will have gone crazy,my spouse i know has bi-polar with panic attacks and the information in your emails have given me hope that one day i might have a normal life and help me get through the day.Thanks for everything your saving marraiges and faimlys.your emails have help me get thru some very rough days.
    your a lifesaver

  13. Dave,
    I do not think that you are negative at all. As a supporter of a boyfriend with bi polar disorder I can personally tell you that your site has helped to keep me sane and to realize that I am not always right but certainly not always wrong when dealing with my boyfriend. I have not gotten him into treatment yet but we do discuss his condition and I reference your site to him all the time. She ( the girl who emailed you) has got to realize that there is all degrees of bi polar episodes. Some are short and some are long, Some are easy and some are HARD. She has to be able to commit. If she cannot be a supporter because of fear then she has the problem. Your site has as god of information as any other site I have researched on the internet and at the Library. Please keep up the good work, we do benefit from your site. You give information up front and do not try to sugar coat it. Yes I would have an easier life if I walked away from John, but hes the man I love and I took on the total package.

  14. Dave,

    I enjoy reading your informative e-mails. I may not always make comments; but felt that this time I would add my “two cents” in regards to this woman pointing a finger at your e-mailings in regards to Bi-polar behaviors, etc. From my own experience, all too often, people without a mental health condition finds themselves avoiding those who do. Not only does this magnify the condition for the person with the condition; but in all honesty, the avoidance seems to be a form of behavior born out of ignorance and fear. It burns me up when others reject someone with a mental health condition. All of rejection seems to be a form of denial. How is denying what is real a part of dealing with reality? Sometimes it sure seems like those people who are “considered normal” have alot more hang-ups than those who actually have a mental health condition. (I use the word condition because I dislike using the word disabled).

    Thank you for allowing me to give my opinion.

  15. Dear David,

    I have been receiving your mails for a long time now, and I have to say, if it was not because your advices, I would just go on with no hope, my doctors made me think this disease was not only impossible to cure, but that would make imposible for me to have goals… thanks to your advices, I decided I could follow my dreams.. now I am about to finish a phd with no significant problems but a slight depression now and then, I have two of my papers published and I made my phd away from my son… how can a hopeless person do that?

    Thanks for your advices

  16. Dave,

    We all feel heavy at times when we are doing our best to do the right thing — to do what we think is important and then someone comes along who appears to be critical of something that is perhaps only playing on one’s own inner insecurities which produces confusion and not knowing what to do. We often become defensive of what we really don’t want to hear mainly out of fear of what we can’t control and then often blame the very thing that we need to know in our lives to grow and progress. Then we can simply dismiss it and not take responsibility for what we don’t really want to face and deal with.

    Dave, keep up the good work. Andrea, hang in there. Keep listening. Most of us have been where you are. We are all faced with choices every day. The more information you have, the better chance you have of making a better choice.

    Thanks, everyone, for your comments. It truly helps.

  17. Dave – I have received insight into my disorder from your perspective. The lady who is upset about a relationship with a bipolar probably is not ready for the relationship. That is her learning assignment to decide for herself

  18. As a parent with an adult child with bi-polar disorder our family has come to think of the disorder (and have helped our son to think about this disorder) in the following way:
    -it is part of the total package of who he is…the unique and special person on this earth that is my son…bipolar included
    -the wonderful sensitivity and creativity that are the side “benefits” for a lot of folks–the complete commitment to staying faithful to meds just as any diabetic or other life-challenging illness requires
    -the complete joy of embracing a human in totality…warts and all…and finding that this is truly what loving is about

    go for it…let your heart guide your caring for this person…do not be afraid…it is so worth it.
    yours truly,

  19. Dave,
    Neiither one of you is right or wrong in the situation. You provide everything possible for a person/supporter to be successful with Bipolar. Andrea just doesn’t get it. Yet. If she continues to think about the possibilities, she can be successful with her chosen mate OR some people simply choose to not live with the Bipolar. I won’t say the person is selfish. Maybe Andrea just knows her boundaries. You offer a gift.

  20. Dave:
    I have bipolar and am stable but after reading about bipolar and what can happen, I too would be leary about taking that on in a relationship. Not because of what you’ve written has been negative, it’s just the facts are that bipolar is and can be a difficult disease to manage and some people are just not up to the job. It’s too frightening for them. So maybe try not to take this so personally as it was what you wrote that was negative as it was the facts that somewhat surfaced at times that frightened this woman into second guessing her relationship. You’re not responsible for everyone’s decisions Dave. And facts are facts, if it were me looking in at dating a bipolar person, I’d look long and hard at the situation and what was going on– was the person seeing a doctor regularly, was he on meds and what kind, did he take them regularly, what were his moods like, was he stable and we would date a long time before we ever, ever got married. Just being a realist.

  21. Hi David,

    Your emails have helped me tremendously as a bipolar supporter. They state facts. The fact is that bipolar disorder is a brutal disease for both patient and supporter. I was married to a man who has bipolar disorder 1. He seemed so wonderful to marry. He was manic and putting on a big show to get me. When we got married he was so selfish and completley hard to deal with. I got him to the very best doctors, he was put on heavy meds and monitored constantly, therapy, and I went and took him to all appts. I got him on his private disability ins.and he has perfect med. ins. He had no more burdens I took care of everything to get him well. All my spare time was spent learning everything I could about bipolar disorder 1. I was a super supporter. I did everything you said to do. I loved him and talked with him constantly. I got nothing in return but ungratefulness. He is completely self-centered and always very negitive about what he has. He was so extremely manic all the time I was loosing myself. Dave, he had the very best all time. He got it in his head to leave and live with his family in another state after I took great care of him and loved him. I finally got so exhausted from trying to tell him he was making a huge mistake leaving his supporter that I just let him go. He left and after he got away he realized what he had and begged to come back and is constantly calling me begging to come back. I can’t let him back in as this was not the first time he did this. I did EVERYTHING YOU SAID and more. His therapist and dr. told him not to leave and to love his wife and be good to me. He never listened to them. His bipolar disorder 1 took everything I had to give and has taken who I am and all that is left is somebody who needs time to heal and get herself back. This just recentley happened in the last year.

    Andrea only saw in the factual part of what you write that she could get into this situation I have been in and she does not want that in here life. I wished I would have known. I would never have gotten involved or married to him. I was more lonely in the marriage than before I married him.


  22. Dave,
    I love what you do and your not negative far from it.
    I have felt more hope than I have since I don’t remember when since I found your website. It’s such a great opportunity to hear and share storys so freely.
    Unfortunately some people like to have everything sugar-coated for them and do only see the glass 1/2 full no matter what.
    I personally love the truth instead of false hope. I’ve only been on your website for about a month and it’s helped me tremendously.
    And remember the woman who wrote the e-mail is bp so she may change her mind by tommorrow.
    I think you and your staff are God sends and so do many many others.
    Please keep up the incredible work you do and smile because everyday this site is up and running you are helping people and enabling us all to have a safe place to share ourselves with eachother.
    It’s beyond refreshing to feel not so alone!
    We all love ya!

  23. I think it is important to be a realist when discussing any disease, which is what Bipolar Disorder is. It is difficult to be positive about a disease that has no cure. But that doesn’t mean you are being negative. If this woman is afraid, she has every right to be but she shouldn’t be blaming it on your information. As someone who is Bipolar and in a relationship with someone who has Bipolar, I have learned to have no expectations but to hope for the best. You have a lot of useful information on your website and you should feel good about everything that you are offering to others. This woman you speak of needs professional help to help her determine whether or not to stay in the relationship.

  24. david I think you are doing a great job. Your information as helped me a lot in trying to understand about bipolar disorder.I am a supporter for my wife. It is hard sometimes. But you do help.You work very hard at this. I think you help a lot of people. Thanks Charles

  25. David,
    I stared with zero knowledge about bipolar and the first thing I did when I started dating a lady with bipolar was to start receiving you information. The information has helped me so much understand why she feels like she does at times. Keep up the good work!


  26. There are only positives to being Bipolar if you look for them.
    Atleast your not terminally ill like those thousands of children who haven’t even lived yet. I bet you they’d trade in an instant.
    Or you don’t have a illness that is obvious to everyone like my one friend who’s constantly on show in public, If he can shrug it off so can I.
    It’s for the best she doe not date anyone with bp because she obviously isn’t up for it, and I can’t say I blame her.
    It just takes special love and selfless giving to accept such a hard road at times.
    I don’t think bipolar is all bad.
    If I did how could I live with myself?
    As I already said you are a God send so keep smiling you deserve to!

  27. The woman did say she learned a lot. I think she was looking for answers about herself and her relationship with a person with bipolar disorder. Perhaps her honest answer is simply, after learning about the disorder and what is required of a supporter she decided she could not handle it. If that is the case you know that is best for both of them and you helped in the process. That is all good.

  28. Hi Dave, |I find your articles informative and not negative at all. |How can you be negative when your own mother had bipolar. |My niece has it and the family copes as best as we can. |Keep up the good work. Sylvia

  29. I do admit, I am not as faithful as a reader as I should be. But the newsletters I have read have been very enlightening. I have tried to imply your thoughts and suggestions into my relationship with my boyfriend. Yes, some have worked and some haven’t, but I believe in the long run the pro’s outway the con’s. So, please continue the newsletters for I need this extra support. Thank You.

  30. Hello Dave,

    I recieved your email about the person who said your sight was negative, all i have to say is i think you are doing a awesome job. I am a Christian and believe the Lord heals people of this disorder, but not everyone is a Christian and God has given you the wisdom to help people who do have this disorder and the enemy is trying to destroy this by using someone with the disorder to say it is all negative. How many have sent you emails saying they think this is negative? Not many right. All i can say is keep up the awesome job, you do help millions of people but there has to be one negative response, just look at it this way it is not really the person it is the disorder that is controling the thoughts and maybe they are just having a bad day. Keep up the awesome job and i will keep you in my prayers for the Lord to keep giving you the wisdom you need. God Bless You

  31. Dont be disheartened, when I feel alone and discouraged, I find your
    posts encouraging and can-do. It’s like having a friend to turn to, one who understands. Thanks, Dave.

  32. HI DAVE

    If a person wants to see the worst they will!
    I have been helped by your daily letters, by implimenting them into what ever problem i might be in really does work. Friends and family have noticed a HUGE difference in the way I handle things now. My DR also said if what he writes helps all the better.
    From what you write I have learned to see the potential for a espisode comming and adjust. Learned to figure out my triggers,ect.
    I thank you from top to bottom for this , because of what you put out there I can be a decent somewhat stable person that people want to be around.
    thanks again!

  33. David,
    I don’t know if you will read this but, I really hope you do. I’m not writing this to you to for any reason other than to tell you if I hadn’t found your site and YOU in particular? I believe I would be scouring the Internet for hours upon hours searching for information on a disease that affects my 16 year old daughter and the most amazing, incredible and very special Man who came into my life very recently. I do not have BP. How ever, I do have depression and am recovering from growing up in a home with double diagnosis’s mental illness (BP father who didn’t get treated) and alcoholism.
    I want to tell you David, your perspective, 1st hand experienced, tried, failed, tested, questioned, tirelessly researched, intuitively acquired information that you bring to the world of BP resources doesn’t even begin to rival health care professionals. (Yes, I know you are not a Dr., A Lawyer, a therapist…and sometimes David? I wonder if some of the professionals I deal with who specialize in BP are professionals LOL).
    Your email is the first of my morning. I read it because I want to hear how you are going about your day. I read it because I get energized and feel like I am not alone in this. I read it because as a supporter I want to find out every possible thing I can to pass on and to assist my loved ones to live a stable life. Mental Illness ain’t for wimps or narcissists…LOL!!! I say this with my highly developed dark/light sense of humour. I think fellow survivors & supporters understand. (My apologies to those readers who may be offended by the ability to look for the light when the dark is plotting to bring us all down.LOL)
    I find the biggest challenge is to find a health care professional who speaks to or informs us with out hyperbole or superiority for real life explanations. I try to remember these professionals are people too yet I am tired of finding out vital information by accident or by a stranger on a bus who happened to start talking… I know you understand that.
    It is because of your uniquely YOU manner I stay on your site. David, we all question ourselves. I know I usually do that when I am tired, hungry, frustrated or running on empty. I dare say my friend I hope you do something to look after yourself today as you have been extremely busy lately. (It is just an observation of a pattern from reading your daily emails!!!LOL)
    I am out here in the great beyond thankful for your site my friend and your daily efforts. I really do want you to take some time to rest. I am also a positive and upbeat person. I don’t suffer doomsayers gladly. I dare say if the woman who sent you that email doesn’t come to realize the difference between who her partner is vs. his BP in action? It may be a blessing for both. Just imagine the triggers that would take place with a non-supportive DYS-functional partner. Her self doubt seemed to be a projected on to you in her email. A common dynamic when one isn’t able to see what is there choice and responsibility to be confronted or not. (NO, I’m not a Dr. or therapist either LOL, just a long time observer of the human condition). LOL.

    I know my daughter and my beautiful friend need my support, understanding and continual acceptance and not judgment, scorn or expectations beyond their ability to function with what they have. It is not a choice or a moral issue, it is Mental Illness. I always remember to ask what the disease is and what is the personality? This can seem like it is an impossible task during an episode or during an ordinary day. Learning about BP and using good communication skills with loved ones and people in general helps me assess and make the next right choice for myself, my daughter and my friend. It isn’t easy as you well know. We are all Perfectly Imperfect! I honestly feel David accepting the things you can change, accept the things you can not change keeps things simple. David you help me understand what I can do and can’t do to help myself and my loved ones suffer less from the effects of BP and live in healthy stability. I have grown tremendously beyond where I could have imagined and I couldn’t imagine the whole in my life with out my daughter or my friend.
    David, you are a good man and a blessing to me and those who care to accept what the reality of what life with BP IS.
    And for someone I have never met in my life you have had an incredible impact and will continue to do so. Please recharge my friend there is much still to do and we have much more life to live! Big Hug & Blessings unto you and your staff.
    Very Kindest Regards,

  34. Dave,

    I’m sorry the other woman found your emails as negative. You have helped me tremdously. Both my teenage daughter and I have bipolar disorder as well as my ex-husband. It has been very difficult to enlist help from my family, in their opinion this is just something you just “deal with” and get over. You have kept me very well informed, along with my ARNP and my therapist. I honestly didn’t realize how devestating this disorder can be until my life started unraveling. Please continue your emails and courses, at least for me, they are very helpful.

    Katharine Carter

  35. dear david;please dont let those negative emails get to ya, dont let some silly people ruin it for the rest.alot of us have found a friend in you,a understanding,been there, friend. I ask who doesnt need a friend? since i have found this site and been able to read your emails and people actually responding to things ive said here , i dont feel so alone in all of this . i just wanna thank you david for making this possible and may God bless you abundantly! your friend kat

  36. Dave,
    May I offer some constructive criticism? I look forward to your emails each day and they DO help. I find your “realist” approach refreshing and sincere. It keeps me grounded. I wouldn’t call it negative. However, there are some aspects of bipolar, postitive aspects that I wish you would address. Have you ever considered somehow channeling topic requests of your subscribers?

  37. Hello David,
    On the situation with Andrea: I’m sure she knew in the beginning of the relationship that her boyfriend had the bipolar condition. It was not a surprise of any kind. God gives us the strength to do anything we put our minds to. If you care for someone then you will find that inner strength. I know that it can be frustrating and hard to understand sometimes. But this person in no different for her it just so happens that this person was born with a condition that he will have to live with for the rest of his life. He didn’t choose to have this condition. Most people have some kind of problem, condition or baggage. Whatever the situation may be, we all have something that people don’t like about us or can’t deal with. So to her I would say it has nothing to do with your website or emails or anything you have said or done or not said. She may think that she’s not strong enough to handle his situation or maybe she knows that she just can’t deal with it. She just needed someone to put the blame on other than herself. What ever the case may be she will find her way. If she wants out then she needs to get out of the relationship but she shouldn’t blame that on you. You are trying to help people understand the truth behind bipolar and to that I’m ever so grateful I came across your website. Thank you and your staff for trying to help people understand Bipolar.
    Thanks again,

  38. David

    I’m a supporter of my soon to be ex husband of 27 years. I can’t begin to tell you how much this site has helped me in understanding Bipolar Disorder. I only wish I had this information years ago. It could have save both of us much heartache. I do not believe you are negative at all, and yes I want the TRUTH. Graham and Suzannewa, your information is priceless. It’s good to hear from the sufferer and helps me to get a better understanding of what I/we’ve dealt with over the years. So many of the questions I have asked myself over the years are so clearly answered by you. I look forward to reading each and every post, and my heart goes out to all those that are suffering. Keep up the good work. David, you are making a difference.

  39. Hi David,I agree with you. This person is abviously in denyial. When her problem is put out there in the open she doesn’t like it. She should just continue having her pity party or take the info & apply it. If she doesn’t like the truth , how can she live with the lie, she needs help & you are gracious enough to share with the world. You are a good person & don’t look at people like this, put your positive energy into those who love & appreciate you.
    God bless & keep up the good work.

  40. Hi Dave, the harder we fight the harder it is to surrender! Maybe she has no fight in her. We do not like the illness, it is what it is, knowledge is power, you give us tools to fight. If one person does not have to learn the hard way, think of the impact of what you do if just one person does not wake up one day with Dortheys house fallen on top of them, unable to escape. Good doctors the right meds. Mom is doing fantastic now. Seems like Andrea sees her loved one as Bipolarperson, instead of bipolar—///—person. Take care Dave.
    Thanks, Karen

  41. Hi David:
    I wanted to thank you for all that you do for all of us who are either bipolar or those of us who are trying to help someone who is bipolar. You speak the truth and sometimes the truth hurts when someone reads it. That is not true for me, I take what you write in a positive manner. I do have bipolar II and PTSD. I take my medication everyday and I have a wonderful councelor who helps me also. You help give me a better understanding of what Bipolar is and how to manage myself in a better way. Although at times I still have troubles, but don’t we all? I have to tell all of you out there, all David does is try to help us get a better understanding about Bipolar and he writes the TRUTH. And if some of you don’t like the truth, I’m sorry, but it’s better than lying. So please do yourselves a favor, don’t lie to yourselves and take what David gives you in a positive manner, all he is trying to do is to help you and your family members.
    Thanks David.

  42. Hello David,
    I know what you mean about people getting the wrong wave!! I have a child that has Bipolar and ADHD and believe me, I appreciate anything that can help me be realistic about how to deal with her problem and help her to be able to mange it herself. But, like most kids are, she doesn’t want kids to know because of the name calling. I do appreciate any insight I can get, so keep up the good work!! Robin

  43. i read your email and my opinion is this, there are alot of negative sides to bipolar, however, i prefer the truth than sugar coating since my life isn’t sugar coated. i appreciate the emails and the info that i get from you. i feel sad for this woman who can’t seem to see past the negative side to the positive side that your help can bring. thanks for letting me share. lisa

  44. Hi David,

    My daughter was diagnosed 3 years ago, and I would never have made it this far without your emails.

    When she was diagnosed, I went to the internet and I found your site. I signed up for your free course of several informative documents. Although, our financial situation has improved, I still have not been able to afford the course.

    However, your daily emails keep me going, and they educate me to many things.

    Let me say that she is stable and has been attending college and focusing on getting her degree. She has completed 3 semesters with all A’s and one B. She is taking her meds and is seeing her doctor and therapist.

    Sure things aren’t smooth all the time, but they are much improved.

    You don’t stop loving someone due to a medical issue. This is a medial issue, and I can not stop loving my daughter. I would hope that she will find someone with the strength to help her and love her as I have been.

    Keep up the good work.

  45. Dave

    I think you DO try to be realistic, not negative. If anything, I’d say you were overly optimistic. (But then, I’m a miserable bugger! ;oD )

    The fact is that BP isn’t a bed of roses for those with it or their supporters. It is usually at its worse before it is treated, and even when it is being treated, it can be a nightmare until the right dosage and blend of drugs are found. And even THEN, when relative stability is found, there will STILL be breakthroughs. That’s the nature of the beast, and it IS a beast. There is no way BP can be presented any other way.

    Sure, it can offer some side benefits. But the benefits of greater creativity and high productivity are usually symptoms of the BP running (too?) loose towards the manic side! If it is reigned too far, the balance can tip over towards the depressive side, when some morbid creativity may exist but productivity goes down the toilet as energy levels hit the dirt with motivation, and the body desires sleep to hide from the feelings of the depression.

    At times, it can be hard and it can be easy, it can be joyous and it can be a nightmare. But it isn’t a balance between “the good and the bad” – the balance most surely is biased towards the bad.

    I’m not being negative, as you are not, either. That’s just the way it is. Some people live with only one leg. It can be a bitch but they live it anyway. Some people are blind or they are deaf, and some unlucky folk are both! It’s a bitch but they have to live with it. Like the paraplegic, they have to come to terms with the problem and live with it anyway, get on with their lives as best they can in spite of the “disability.” That’s how it is with BP. It’s there. It’s not nice when it’s awake, not for anyone. But there it is! These are the cards we’ve been dealt with. We have to play them as best we can. Hoping for something better isn’t going to help! We have to accept what we’ve got and get on with our lives as best we can, knowing that many things are possible in spite of the illness, knowing there will be years when we can achieve great things when the damned illness is in remission, knowing that even when the beast is wide awake and messing with our heads and screwing up our families, the time will come when the beast will sleep again and we can do good stuff again. That’s not a negative message. That’s reality. IT’S HOW WE DEAL WITH REALITY THAT DEFINES IF WE ARE NEGATIVE OR POSITIVE!! It is how we PERSONALLY interpret the truth, our perspective of it and how we adapt to it, or not, that defines if we are positive or not.

    It seems to me that you, Dave, always try to find that silver lining in the dark clouds and focus on that. THAT is positive, but it is also realistic to acknowledge the dark clouds exist.

    Well, you asked for views, Dave. Is that helpful? ;oD

  46. I too am dating someone who is bipolar. I think your daily emails help me tremendously. I like to have information in the form of truth even if it hurts. I don’t see how you can know what to expect or look for if you sugar coat your information. Other people telling me to run as fast as I can away from this person who has bipolar disorder make me more nervous about being in the relationship. Your information and knowledge has actually helped me to understand this person and to be able to stand beside them.
    Thank you for all of your knowledge.

  47. Hi David,
    The service you provide is invaluable! It’s just that reality can be harsh, and it takes time to find that place of peace, whether a supporter or survivor, when dealing with the acceptance of reality. There is the normal process of evaluation… denial… etc. that the mind goes through. Take a lesson from your great advise… and don’t take things personally, even though it may appear that it is aimed that way. If you were in front of me, I would give you a big hug for all the good that you do. Whether someone sees the good is out of your control. It is in their control as to how they wish to perceive the message. As for my perception… You offer HOPE, and for me, that is key!

  48. Dave, Honestly and the truth is always the best policy. You cannot please or help all, but you are reaching the majority and doing an excellent job. We all appreciate you greatly. Diane

  49. 2 children and Eight and 1/2 years into my marrigage and I dont know if I can support anymore.
    It’s a scary feeling. My husband wasn’t dx untill I was pregnant with #2.(I blame myself for not examining the red flags pre-marriage) I cried the entire 2nd pregnancy because The thought that “I was bringing children into this world that may have to deal with this disease is frightful!” A long time ago We chose not to tell very many people about our “REAL LIFE” becuase of reprocussions! I just don’t think I can pretend any longer. My husband doesn’t share alot of his inner thoughts with me but what he does share, sounds difficult.He comes across to others as the life of the party and nice guy to everyone but saves his TRUE self for me> Im starting to realize that becasue of my new behaviors of being very TIGHT and edgy. That everyone around us (that doesnt know the deal) Thinks I’m the one with the problem. He is on meds. but even with that, it still isnt enough. he goes through rapid cycling each Day! I love the person he truley is but the monster inside seems to be getting bigger. He has no support system except me and my parents. (his family has been in denial his whole life) Ive tried to reach out to them for help with no luck. Now Im just discusted with them. Im only 37 yo. should I continue this life of secret missery or just move on? What about my children? All I can tell them is ” leave daddy alone he’s cranky today”????

  50. Dear David:
    I look forward to your newsletters and save nearly all of them. I am a supporter of a bipolar. Your info is true, fairly concise and often quite timely. Keep up the good work and don’t be discouraged by those who have not seen the value of your efforts. labarb

  51. graham n,
    I agree with you totally, I’m glad that I’m not the only one who thinks that way. You don’t seem like to miserable of a bugger to me!

  52. Michelle,
    I say get out and take those suffering babies with you. Sounds to me like your own mental health is at stake and that means your children will have nobody to show them the joys of life. You can only snuff out your own needs for so long. And being BP is no excuse to make those you love constantly miserable all the while enjoying himself publicly.
    Seems to me he has a bully side to him and it’s tearing your world apart let alone your childrens world.
    Some BP’s think it an excuse to act anyway they see fit. A perfect constant escape goat. I say it’s bull and it gives people like me who try with all my might to be a good person a bad rep.
    May the grace of God be with you and those babies!

  53. David, I’ve been recieving your emails approx. 6 months. I’m stabe enough to know that you tell it like it is. You don’t candy-coat anything, or pussy foot around issues. I would describe the corresponance as just a tad aggressive, BUT, hey, I’m here to get better! I don’t want someone that is educating me on my disease to 1/2 azz any of it! I don’t want anything but the truth, and, yeah sometimes the brutal honesty hurts a little. No pain no gain. I want to be able to live my life to the fullest. I have to face the facts of this disease. Most aren’t very pretty. When I have control of the disease instead of IT controlling me, Life can be beautiful. Education, based on fact is not always in pastels.
    Thank you David for being in my pc every morning!

  54. Hi Dave,
    Im raising a 5 yr old thats bipolar. I didnt know anything about it until i read your newsletter. Thank you for helping me have a better understanding of the disoder.

  55. hi

    well i read the email, and all i have to say is that you help people in soo many ways, and they know it, you help me understand my love one, i didnt know that much about it, my boyfriend is bipolar and he jus started getting treated like 9 monthsago, he is 32 years and hes a chef, im 17 we desided to have a baby, and right now im pregnat, but sometimes he scares me, like today, he wants this job but he didnt get it, he was really upset and it makes me sad and upset every time he gets like this, and i really dont need this, because im pregnat, sometimes i really dont know what to do, you can help me alot because you know what you are doing.
    so i want to thank you, you are soo awesome.

  56. David,
    You are doing just fine. If the person writing could not find anything positive in your messages, then she was not open to much of anything. She is afraid of getting hooked up with someone who is bipolar. So, she looked at your stuff as representing the worst of what she could expect from her friend. Certainly not your fault. Stop beating yourself. You do good work. Don’t let yourself fall for the negatives of people who aren’t looking for the kind of help you provide us all. We have only thanks for you.
    Bye. Joe

  57. Dave,

    I agree with Texasmom03.
    Being a realist means also looking at one’s own life and deciding if one is ready for what might be needed.
    And – maybe there are couples out there who could share with some of their positive experience as a couple?

  58. Hey Dave, You can sell 10 of the same hamburgers to 10 different people and somebody’s going to complain. Your doing a good job. Keep up the good work.


  59. I am very new to the e-mails and site. I am a rapid cycling bipolar. I have been diagnosed since 1992. I was barely 18. I have been on way to many medications in my time but am finally getting things under control through positive support from my husband. I think what everyone needs to keep in mind is that we as bipolars need positive support in order to make it I have been doing great really great for about the past six years. I know that does not seem like a long time to most but to me it is a miracle from where I started. Thank you for all you have done for me david. To the ones with negativity We as bipolars need positive to overcome our negatives. Please keep that in mind and you can make it through anything that we dish out which i fully understand can be overwhelming sometimes but as much as people want to run away from us we probably feel twice as much of that to run away from ourselves. Please keep in mind that we are human beings that have bigger feelings about every situation. or at least this is how I feel

  60. I have just posted and then went and read some of what others have written. If I repeat myself I am sorry it must be said. I am a bipolar that for the past twelve years have not tkaen any medications and was in denial that I needed them I have just recently gotten on something for depression. Let me clarify when I admitted to needing them the doctors here in ohio just wanted to put me on what i was on many years ago that made me very sick which has led to greater health issues. I can not go back on the same things. This is why it sickens me to hear people say things like this..You simply cannot have a functioning relationship with a BP who does not seek the adequate treatment or will even aknowlege they have a problem. My experiance with them was like being eaten alive from the inside out by a hideous parasite……..because if it was not for my husband for the past twelve years i never would have made it and I sincerely hope that he never feels like I am a parasite whether it be with or without medication. One day I will have him post how he made it through bucause even I do not know or understand. I just love the fact that he has been here for me and after hearing some of this am so greatful for him and you david!! Keeping it real is what it is all about for us!

  61. Hello All,
    Being married to someone with Bipolar disorder I can tell the girl worried about her relationship with someone with the disease that this is not an easy thing to deal with. There are no beds of roses. There are always issues, the person with the disease is ALWAYS first and foremost in ALL things, the illness is always present, in the house, in the marriage, in your life AND unless you realize that this is what you want and are truly willing make a LIFELONG commitment to this man, DON’T do it. I think you should also make sure that he is stable and has been for some time. We all need to be well before we can truly love another.

  62. Being honest about any mental disorder is hard. And I know my son is a Paranoid Schizophrenic He is stable now and no one would know but when he is off his meds it is a different story. He is unkind frightened and talks to his demons as I call his voices.

    I am Bipolar and stable for the moment but the sress of him going off his meds makes me go into a bad spell. Keep being realistic.

  63. Dave you are not wrong when you tell it like it is, if you did try and sugar coat the truth about Bipolar Disorder you sure wouldn’t be helping anyone. Trying to beat around the bush about Bipolar Disorder would only make it more difficult for the ones that have it and the ones that support them to seek out the professional help needed to control it. Dave my wife and I have been supporting our son for a very long time and before we found your site we where doing so many things wrong. Your information and courses have been a tremendous help with supporting and understanding our son. To me your honesty about Bipolar Disorder is the positive factor that keeps be coming back to get the information that helps us with this on going difficult labor of love.
    I wouldn’t worry about what one woman says. First of all if she really cared about this person it would not matter that he has Bipolar Disorder. She would talk to a professional and ask his or her advice about the bad and good on this situation. She would probably find out that just because he has Bipolar it dose not mean they cannot have a good relationship. True love is blind to this; it is only one of the many hurdles in the path that life takes you.

  64. David,
    Your emails and all of your resources have been very helpful to me! My husband is bipolar. I would rather you be honest with us rather than keep information from us. With a bipolar person you HAVE to be a realist…otherwise you set yourself up for disappointment!! You are doing us all a great service!! Keep up the good work!!

  65. I first would like to apologize to anyone in this “family” that I insulted or made angry…especially you Dave. I still read and digest your pearls of wisdom everyday. I wrote this blog 2 months ago when I was in a very fragile state of mind. I met my significant other 19 months ago and fell deeply in love with him knowing that he was bi-polar(he told me on our first date) I had no insite into this disease and was grateful to find your website and eager to learn as much as I could. When we were still dating he went into a episode, relapsed {alcohol and drugs as well} and wound up in jail for 15 months. It was time to make my decision about using my home as his homeplan and I think understandably I was frightened….not just for myself but for my 3 teenage boys as well. Love does conquer all and I truly believe that I have the strength to make this partnership work by being as supportive and loving as I can. I know his beauty,lust for life, brilliance and hope(for us) I feel like I have met my soul mate.He will be part of my life againby the grace of God (and the court system) on March 3rd and our journey will begin. Don’t hate me…please just keep me in your prayers. Andrea

  66. Hi Dave
    I just signed up for your e-mails last week and they have been VERY helpful. My wife was recently diagnosed with BP Disorder and reading your work has made me much more understanding of her.

    It has actually improved our relationship now that I am beginning to cope better knowing what is REALLY going on.

    I’d call that a POSITIVE result !!


  67. The fear of getting involved with a person that has bipolar is very REAL. Those significant others in a relationship with a person that has the bipolar disorder already know this. Personally I’d rather have the truth and the realistic “that’s how it is” information rather than some sugar-coated “what you prefer to hear” smooze. So David I think you are REALISTIC, NOT pessimistic. I appreciate the way you present the straight stuff about BP. I also think you give us hope because of all your personal experiences and research. You have designed systems that work, and positively so. For me, this hope is “positively priceless” — not negative. I thank Dave for his help and positive solutions because my life is much better for that help and his wisdom. Positively….Absolutely……..

  68. David,
    I dont get you. People read your stuff and give you a response. However, you either take it to heart or dont responed at all. I sent you an email three weeks ago and never got a response. No, your not a doctor. However, if your going to post your letters and books on bipolar then give your opinion when asked. Other wise what is the point in your web site. teacupjaye

  69. you are doing a wonderful job and please stay as honest as you have been to the very last word. some people just have to see the short end of the stick no matter how well you do at helping those who need it most. keep up the real deal as long as you keep helping others.

  70. Here is an interesting slant on this tiopic of conversation. I am BP and have felt that I could not or will not meet anyone who can cope with it because it can be very scary for the other person. Ive just got back this evening from a date…with a guy that is also BP… I thought I would try that see if we had enough in common ‘mentally’ if you like to be compatible. It was a nightmare….worse than normal…and I know the signs and what to look out for in myself as well as in someone else…. But just because I know all these things did not prepare me for this guys attitude or demaenor. If you truly love someone and they feel the same then you can conquor anything…any illness not just BP but you have tobe totally commited. I think Andrea is just not ready for such a hugh commitment and she is brave to say so…. I agree with a previous post…your comments are not negative but they are in your face honest and true and some people are not ready to hear the truth…. Love to you Dave and all on here…. Tracex

  71. DAVE, I was a bit shocked when I read tonight’s email, not Andrea’s but yours, when you said you felt like chucking it all in because of one woman’s negative opinion. I have only scanned through about a third of the 81 responses to tonight’s email and they’re all encouraging you. The vast majority of us really appreciate what you do. If one in a thousand doesn’t like your approach, please don’t let it upset you. You have helped so many people: bipolars and supporters alike. While none of us wants you to get upset, it’s also somehow good to know that you are a real human being with real emotions (including a great sense of humour). Your emails are so much easier to understand than some very scientific articles on other sites and therefore easy to learn from.

    My bipolar boyfriend and I met exactly a year ago this week. Your emails and mini course have been of enormous help to me. I have learned, and continue learning to understand the complexity of bipolar disorder. Some crazy things happened last summer and more recently. Without your support I wonder if we would have lasted that long. Now our relationship is growing and strengthening. Occasionally he still does my head in, but so do other people who are not bipolar – nobody is perfect. Thanks to your help, I can understand much better how he feels and why he does what he does. Keep up the good work, Dave, and don’t let a tiny minority discourage you. A little advice I would like to give you: Don’t work too hard! Take some time off and look after yourself! Thank you.

  72. Hi David,

    I have learned more about bipolar from you and your staff than I did with my first therapist. I love your emails because you use everyday situations that we all can relate to. This person has obviously put up walls to the disorder and to your work. She is the unfortunate one. We are better for your time and patience to get a better understanding of the disorder for your Mother and then share the information with the rest or us. Thank you David from the bottom of my heart.

  73. Dave
    This is my first time writting to you. I find your emails very uplifting and informative. More so than my Bipolar Support group. I was diagnosed as being bipolar 2 on April 8, 2003. Please keep up with the good work and keep on keeping me informed your emails are one of the highlights of my day.
    Debra Chase

  74. Dave:
    It’s evident that you have a ton of positive support indicating how much you have helped many people over the years. And, I am sure that you will continue to help many, many others in the future.

    Andrea, has posted about what her experiences were surrounding her email to you and asked for our prayers. It sounds like she still reads your daily writings and is learning as she goes. Hang in there, Andrea. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.

    Lots of great things said today from lots of grateful people. Everyone needs support — especially leaders — they do so much for so many. I loved reading all the postings and feel as though there is a happy ending to an interesting day.

  75. You are doing a great job and keep up the good work, as you see with all these comments, obviously you are helping so many people in need.
    I thank you for all your hard work, time, effort and all that you and your team do to help those of us that have BP disorder.
    Thank you and your wonderful team for all that you do for us wanting to better ourselves with what we have.

  76. Wow Dave!! What a response! I just wanted to say that it’s good for someone to think long and hard before they marry a bipolar person. It’s a handful, and marriage is for life. Your reader was honestly asking herself if this is what she wanted for her life. Good for her! I love my husband; we’ve been together a long time. But neither of us knew he was bp when we married. It’s been a long, rocky road.
    I really look forward to your daily emails and this blog. Thanks for all you do, Dave! I feel like I know you.

  77. personally I don’t think your e-mails and things have helped me, but I really appreciate what you are trying to do. It’s amazing to see someone who truely understands bipolar disorder. I am jobless, homeless, and have lost custody of my 20 month old son because of this disorder, and there is no fixing that at this point. I dropped out of high school, got married and divorced at a young age. I have had so many jobs that it’s not even funny. I don’t have the money to get my meds, see a doctor, or go to counseling. I was in and out of juvenile detention when I was a teenager, in psychiatric hospitals, and even group homes. I am almost 21 now and it’s all gotten worse.

  78. Hello!! Dave:)
    I just want to say thank you very much for all the information on bipolar. My Finace’ has bipolar and at first I really didn’t know a thing about it and wanted to break things off. Then I read your research and decided not to that would be unfair to my fiance’ so I’m still happily engaged to him and will never leave him. I love him so much and he means the world to me and my children and he needs us as much as we need him. I’m a teacher and I love to read your articles and they do make a a lot of sense to me. For somebody who never knew about bipolar I’ve learned a lot from you and I owe you Dave a Big THANK YOU!!
    Keep up the great work!!

  79. First of all, Dave, it’s apparent that this woman has NOT read many, not to mention ALL, of your “honest” emails. Personally, I think MOST of your emails are VERY positive. Maybe she’s referring to the people who contribute to this blog, who are having trials in their relationships with bipolar, either survivors OR supporters. These can be pretty negative.

    Secondly, by being “honest” with us on your email list, you are only presenting this disorder in a realistic way. Your “treatment plan” is excellent, and if every survivor would follow it, there would be fewer episodes. If this woman would buy one of your courses for supporters, she would see that you have nothing but positive ways to help her understand this disorder.

    PLEASE do not think you are negative in your emails. Most of them are “heads-up” notes that show us how to handle ANYTHING that comes at us. True – when your website, BipolarCentral lists such things as murder and attacks by persons suffering with bipolar disorder – it appears that this illness is hard to deal with and would scare this woman off.

    But there are a LOT of supporters who love their bipolar loved ones and TRY to make it work. These are the ones who do their research and read EVERY ONE of your emails to get the proper perspective of what to watch for and “handle” the one with bipolar.

    I, for one, have learned an awful LOT about my illness. I’ve learned about “triggers” and “stress” and how to try to avoid them. This woman has to be realistic about what boundaries she can set with her significant other, and whether SHE, alone, can live with it. As you say, EVERY person with bipolar is DIFFERENT, just like every “normal” person has fluctuations in mood. It’s just that our mood swings are more extreme and can be negated by the proper medications and therapy. But – only if we WANT to follow your “treatment plan.”

    This woman who wrote you is uneducated about bipolar disorder. You can discern this by her attitude. I wouldn’t worry if I were you. This is just ONE person’s opinion, and there are sooo many of us who appreciate your daily hard work to get this information out to us.

    So – I give you a big “thumbs up” to the way you are trying to educate both bipolar survivors and supporters. Don’t let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch.

    Thank you, Dave, from the bottom of my heart. You are a godsend to those of us who have NO supporter other than yourself to gauge our moods and keep us on the straight and narrow path.

    BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God hold you in the Palm of His hand, and bless you real good.

  80. To ANDREA: I’m sorry, sweetheart; I posted my blog BEFORE reading YOUR entry. It looks like your mind is made up – that you have found your “soul mate” and you are going to make a life commitment to him. GOOD FOR YOU!!

    I know it’s hard to communicate when we’re not feeling “up to snuff,” and your boyfriend’s incarceration must have made it doubly hard on you.

    Just keep reading Dave’s emails, and learn ALL you can about bipolar disorder. You CAN be a GREAT supporter, as evidenced by your note; “love is blind,” is only for those who don’t understand. But – I think YOUR love for your boyfriend CAN stand the test of time.

    You DO have my prayers and best wishes for the future. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, and will make it work.

    Love allways,

  81. Dave,
    I feel it would be a really wonderful idea if your bipolar employees could post their comments here too! They could tell us about their experiences working for you and how you have positively influenced their lives. I’d also love to hear from your Mom about your work and how it has helped her. What do you think? Sincerely, Bill.

  82. Hi Dave, I read your daily bloggs every day and they give me great support. My son has been missing from home for five months but I am convinced he has bipolar. His behaviour and attitude was just like you describe in your newsletters. Until my son is found there is not a lot I can do. Sometimes your comments are negative, but as you say you are being honest, honesty is the best policy. Its great to know you are there and it gives me great support. Best Wishes Sue Rees (England)

    You are experienceing what bipolar people experince every day of their lives. People always putting them down.
    You are doing great guns and I appreciate the emails I get from you.
    I cant afford the whole course and I am greatful that you at least give us something for free that is worth reading.
    I am bipolar and I am doing up the interior of my home. My house is 25 years old and back in those days they used a lot of chip board in the interior of the home not realizing thaty in time it would crumble.
    I have just finished building three steps up into the bedroom area.
    The reason is I went down to the kitchen one night to get a glass of water and went through the stairs. I had a bruised shin for two weeks after that.
    Money is tight and i couldnt sfford to geta builder in so I devised a plan and have just about finished building the stairs myself.
    I never give up and neither should you. I am a 58 year old female.
    If you say to me you cant do something its like waving a red flag in front of my face.
    I CAN AND I WILL IS MY MOTTO. there are always detractors.
    They will go to their graves moaning about what some one is successful at. GIVE THEM THE BIRD AND JUST KEEP ON GOING

  84. David,

    I’m the psychologist in a mood disorders clinic with over 200 (!) bipolar patients – and i think your newsletter is FANTASTIC. You hit exactly the right balance between realistic and upbeat, and please, keep up the wonderful great work that you do. Only a very few of our patients read English, and that is a really really big loss for us!

  85. David,
    I think sometimes what you say is scary. But I have to say until I received your course and emails I was clueless how to best help my husband. He had never been diagnosed and he is 46 years old. Just the last 2 we found out that is what he had all these years. Before the past 2 years he was labeled an “alcohlic” But really he was self medicating when he would go manic. VA just gave him a pill and sent us on our way. Needless to say, the meds weren’t working and he went into a manic spell and ended up in trouble with the law and fiancially has almost ruined us. Now I know becasue of your course and c/d it is much more than just taking a pill, and more importantly so does he. Thank you you are a God sent to me. I medical field is really not that helpful.
    My husband is very smart, and you had mention in an email about needing more help I would really appreciate knowing how he could apply for a position. He is very computer savvy.
    Again, Thankyou Patti

  86. Not only is Dave positive but so are many others on here. I thank everyone who responded to my blogs because it makes me feel good that maybe I can help someone look at things in a different perspective one that works for me not necessarily for anyone else, but when I can relate to someone I feel the need to respond so that maybe I can help a little because I’ve been there already and it’s only suggestions anyhow.
    I appreciate this website because out of my 30yrs here I’ve spent most of them feeling isolated and always misunderstood. I now can read and learn from others who are able to relate in some form or another.

    Have a excellent day to all!

  87. This is regarding yesterday’s e-mail. And there are times that the things you say sound negative, but overall you try to show that both supporters and survivors need to find positives and live there.
    There are things that you have said that I have disagreed with, like how bad support groups are. But I read and took in what you said. I then posted a comment saying that not all support groups are bad, it really depends on the leader of the group and how the group is handled. Sometimes, members of the group do need to whine but the leader needs to find something to help the person who needs to whine-even if it is just to say that the group cares.
    Dave, your e-mails help and after just over a couple of years I have found a way to purchase the courses for both myself and my husband with bipolar.
    Please don’t stop telling the truth and please don’t stop the e-mails. Even the ones that we disagree with we can come here and tell you why. You help, you have learned and we can learn from you. Thank you!

  88. Hi Dave,

    I don’t think your emails are negative at all! You are very honest and open and pretty much just “tell it like it is”! Sometimes the truth hurts, because it is not always what we want to hear, but I would much rather hear the truth and be prepared, rather than think it is “all good” and then be blindsided when something goes wrong!

    Also, you always make it a point to encourage your readers on how intelligent and amazing people with a bipolar disorder are and reinforce that by employing many people with the disorder. As long as treatment is being sought the person is controlling the disorder, rather than letting the disorder control them, there is no limit as to what they can do.

    Keep up the good work!


  89. Keep up the good work, David.
    The lady,s frustration has to do with the surreal/nacisist culture (there is no problem, everythng is OK) dominant in today’s society.
    Dan, bipolar supporter.

  90. I am a bipolar supporter of over 25yrs.The best thing about what you do is telling the truth about this illness.The emailer may have their own issues and it’s easier blame your info.Thank you and don’t stop.

  91. First of all I believe you are totally right… I don’t feel you are negative at all…. but rather just speaking the truth..

    Also I have a question for anyone that can answer it…. When someone with Bi-Polar disorder becomes ill has anyone noticed that they seem to be extra moody, or can’t control their emotions very well…. let me know! I am suffering from the flu and my significant other doesn’t quite understand why i seem to have “an attitude”.

  92. First of all I believe you are totally right… I don’t feel you are negative at all…. but rather just speaking the truth..

    Also I have a question for anyone that can answer it…. When someone with Bi-Polar disorder becomes ill has anyone noticed that they seem to be extra moody, or can’t control their emotions very well…. let me know! I am suffering from the flu and my significant other doesn’t quite understand why i seem to have “an attitude”.

  93. Hello David.
    We would all like the realiy to be sugurar-coated,to our various tastes but sometimes as we all know certainly the truth is sour as much sweet.Your articles are positivly sour within a half full attitude.
    Thank you for your research and for youre negative possitivity.

  94. Hi Dave keep up the good work yes it can feel like hard work supporting someone with bipolar I should know I have been doing it for 33 years and sometimes I have felt like running for the hills screaming all the way but I gather myself up try to remain positive and tackle it all with a certain amount of humour I mean there are not many wives who can have a great decking built on the house in 2 days!!I know I have a good man who was born with bipolar it wasnt his fault and there can be some really good times and I have great friends who understand and now our children are understanding more things are pretty good most of the time.Regards Lizzy


    I figured I’d get into touble using the analogy I used….so perhaps I’ll clarify a bit. The entire reason I’m here is to learn more about how to be supportive of someone with bipolar. Considering the fact I’ve been with two BP women in the last 5 years, I doubt they will be the last. I am very happy that you have someone in your life that supports you through such difficult times. I tried to be there for Anna and falling in love with her was the biggest mistake I ever made. Watching someone you love and care about purposly destroy themselves takes a tremendous toll on your own personal well being……for me, IT WAS LIKE BEING EATEN ALIVE FROM THE INSIDE OUT BY A PARASITE. Her illness was not only taking her down….but me as well. Her self destructive behavior was only the tip of the iceburg. She had two suicide attempts, one when I was with her. She slashed her own throat with a strait razor the first time!!! The more I tried to be there and help her get her life back on track and support her, the more destructive she got and the more she turned on me and blamed me for her problems. She was perscibed lithium but REFUSED to take it. It was 3 years of pure hell. I had no choice but to cut her off from my life before she ended up destroying BOTH of us. Then, after Anna, I can move on to Jen….luckily, things didnt get nearly as intense as with Anna but a many of the same disturbing signs were present. So after sharing this with you I will admit a certain amount of anamosity towards BP’s after being hurt like I was on both occasions, however, that brings me back to the entire reason why I’m here, to learn and understand the disease because in many ways, I feel like I failed both Anna and Jen. Sometimes I think things would have turned out better if I had known more about the disease from the start. I know I will not soon forget my experiances with either Anna or Jen anytime soon, thats for sure.


  96. Hi Dave,
    I just want to thank you for all your help in understanding my disorder. i look forward to your emails as does my fiance. I print out your emails for him to read. He has told me that with your help it has been easier for him to understand my disorder and now, because of you he can spot the start of an episode before I even know whats happening. what you’re doing has been a life saver for me, it’s so difficult to explain to another person what is going on with me sometimes and it is so nice now to have someone that I can talk to who is at least trying to understand about what it is like to be suffering from bi-polar disorder.
    Again I would like to thank you.

  97. To MARK: You were so brave and courageous to love not only one, but TWO women with bipolar disorder. Though they probably don’t realize it at this point, you were the one who helped them to realize that they were loved.

    Being a woman with bipolar, I KNOW all about the “drama” that comes with this disorder. Not only with the delusions, but the racing thoughts, the grandious ideas, and the extremes we put our loved ones through. After I “crash” in the psych wards, I have MANY regrets and a LOT of remorse when I look back and remember what I put my friends and family through. THAT is the hardest part. With every “flight,” comes the “crash.” It’s as simple as that.

    At the risk of repeating myself, I dread the “highs,” because, as eecummins, the poet, put it quite succinctly – “Don’t be too happy happy. It’s the happy happy people bust hard when they bust. And they do bust hard when they bust.” The story of my life.

    I wish you much good luck in your search for a soul mate, someone you can share what is obviously a very loving and caring nature with. As one of my boyfriend’s mother once said – “Richard needs a ‘normal’ girl.” We bipolars can take you on a very “wild ride!”

  98. Hello David:

    Just had to say that you seem to be too sensitive. You can not and are not responsible for how people perceive the info you provide. You worry way too much whenever you get an email that someone is saying something negatively about your emails. All I have to say to the one who is now blaming you for not wanting to get involved with another person with BPD is: Life is about living and if you are afraid to live then you are already dead and don’t know it.

  99. Hi Dave,

    Its rubbish you are very positive and have helped me alot. People have to be told the facts which you do.
    You have to know the bad side of bipolar if not properly treated.
    I, a nurse and it took me 2 yrs to get my fiance to face the fact he had a problem and actually get help. I knew he had bipolar but you cant help someone if there not willing to help themselves.
    So keep up the good work you are helping people through something that can be very scary if you dont know what your deaing with.
    Many thanks
    Michelle 🙂


    I really appreciate the response…..and yes, you can be a pretty wild ride!! Both encounters have left me scratching my head even still. Anna was a while ago but Jen was fairly recent. Definitly the toughest thing for the supporter is trying to cope with being the “target”. Neither were particularly faithfull and like I said before, its hard not to have a lot of built-up anomosity but the disease does, in a lot of ways, facinate me because I’ve seen it in action….and I’ve seen the crashes such as the ones you spoke of. No one is “crazy”…we are ALL driven by the disorders we have be them large or small; no one is really “normal”. Studying the BP disease has made me look inward as well and has opened my eyes to a lot of what I have experienced in the social environment here in Daytona. Anna and Jen both touched my heart but they both seemed so far away at the same time. Its hard to descibe, being so close to a person yet at the same time feeing a million miles away from them… is the strangest, coldest feeling yet somewhere in there, a deep care and love for the person is thrown into the mix, but it always seems to be a love and care that travels a one way street. Unfortunatly, in both cases, Anna and Jen, I was forced to cut them off completely, not because I felt a desire for emotional revenge for the ways they treated me but if I didnt they would absolutely consume my soul. I’m the type of person that stands behind the person I care for and the saddest thing for me to deal with in both cases is that I wasnt able to help. There were so many times I wanted to ease they’re pain but simply wasnt able to…..and to this day, I still find myself dealing with the effects they had on me.


  101. David,
    Don’t get discouraged over one person’s choice. We all have our free agency to make choices and it sounds like she’s just not ready to tackle a relationship with someone with BP. Maybe tomorrow she’ll change her mind and be ready. I do not have BP and I really do sympathize with her and understand her comments. I have had the same feelings about hesitating to get involved with an unstable BP person, let alone a stable one. I think that anyone cutting her down is being extrememly rude and inconsiderate of her personal choices. We all have our own schedule, time table and learning pace and she’s just not prepared enough yet. No one should blame her or cut her down for expressing her fears and opinions.
    David, what you are doing is incredible! I have a much greater understanding of BP from reading your emails and I love your pod casts! What an awesome educational tool you have created. Keep up the good work. The only reason you should ever quit doing what you are doing is for your own health reasons and your own welfare, not because of one person’s decisions.

  102. well regarding this woman…maybe she is still depressed and still dosnt understand most of the stuff your saying to help us bipolarss understand ourselves more;;;it is hard enough to be “normal” in the real world what more for bipolars who have ups and downs at any moment…one thing i found new about what you said is the word persistence to fight the disorder,,,my doctor never mentioned this to me before just saying how important it is to take the medications to help keep the chemical imbalance on track…i am not as sociable when it comes to parties even if it is just famliy gatherings like christenings bdays weddings or a surprise party id rather sit in one corner or stay in a room and watch tv…
    you may not be a doctor
    but you bring hope to others and i am one of them
    amanda b vera cruz

  103. Dear David,
    I have not been receiving your newsletter for very long but, it has been a great help to me in understanding my adult son’s disorder. Perhaps because I have a spinal deformity and suffer from chronic pain but, I am also a realist. “Sugar-coating” the truth would not help anyone and would in fact be a great disservice to them.
    From reading the responses to this matter it’s clear that you are doing a wonderful job for many people. Please don’t let the negativity of this one young lady discourage you. It is obvious that you are a caring person trying to help others. Please remember to take care of yourself and keep up the good work.
    May God Bless You

  104. maybe she was just looking for an excuse to bail out and you just happened to be there. it takes a special person to be there for a person with bipolar disorder, in fact I often wonder why my husband doesn’t leave me and find someone “normal” it would be easier, less stress, and less expenses (medical, prescriptions, therapy, etc.) anyway it finally hit me, he saw me even before I did, and he knows that i can have bipolar disorder and still be a person worth loving. I am very grateful to him, for sticking by me through some extremely bad times. I’ve done horrible things to him, but he still loves me and stood by me. It really taught me what the word unconditional really means. it’s not no matter what unless you just get sick of trying, it’s loving someone, accepting them, helping them deal, until they can be strong and deal by themself. Never giving up no matter how hard it gets, just because you see the real person, not the disorder and can patiently (most of the time 🙂 ) for them to get over the manic or depressed phase and be that person you know they can be, even if they don’t

  105. It seems there always has to be someone to try and ruin a good thing for everyone. I believe this lady has her own personal issues and is using your website as an out for her relationship. I appreciate your emails, lessons etc… It is sometimes the only thing that keeps me going. It gives me hope for me and my sons issues. Thank you Dave!

  106. Hi David:
    Just wondering if you would say anything about an alcoholic who, sort of like a person with Unstable BPD, can go into a very destructive rage at the drop of the hat, he actually came very close to killing his Dad a couple of years ago and is both mentally and physically abuse towards others, as well. But does not show any signs of a person with Bi-polar Disorder when he is sober. He is my husband’s 31 y/o son and has lived us several times and sometimes for fairly lengthy amounts of time so I have had the opportunity to watch for any of the tattle-tell signs of probable BPD and I have never seen any indication of it. I know you ran into some things in your research of BPD that pertain to alcoholism and I was just wondering if you would lend me a few words of your knowledge, if and when you might have the time and energy. I would really appreciate anything you would have to say because it might change my way of thinking about him and help me to try to deal with him. I am, by definition of the questionnaires that determine whether you are an alcoholic or not, indeed an alcoholic but I no longer drink, no AA, no counseling, nothing. Just got to where I might drink 3 or 4 times a year and now I don’t drink at all because I know that if I drink the first one I will become very drunk before I pass out.

    Thank you:


  107. David,

    The person who wrote that to you is wrong. I have recently begun to writ to your emails to give you support for the great humantarian service you provide to bipolar people.

    The best part of your work and ideas is that you KNOW allof the things that can go wrong in our situations. You are aware that many of us have no one to turn to and need your honest assessments.

    Please, David, don’t take that email seriously. Without you some of us would be dead right now. Dana Karson

  108. David,
    If i didnt suffer from depression before reading some of your correspondence, i do now. No offence to the readers but holy god cheer up. Im beginning to feel that as a bibolar depressed patient im inadiquate for the post.
    And also your feelings dont hurt so easily, otherwise you would no longer be of any use to us.?
    As an informer, leader and teacher
    David i strongly suggest that you advise your loyal and caring fans to get over their shortcomings and be grateful for the sufficient air we are breathing.
    We must start wanting the things we have in order to have the things we want.
    Cheers John

  109. Hi David and all who read this:

    Hope you are all in a stable mood and happy today and forever.

    David, with your permission, would you let me run a one question poll on the ones who read what I put on this blog? I am so curious about one aspect I have noticed in the Bi-polars I have had experience that I would really like to know the answer to this one question. I will send the question to you in an email and you can yea or nay, ok?

    With lots of love and prayers from my heart to yours to all who have to deal with BPD (or any chronic condition) in any way:




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