I read your latest newsletter, and this is the first time I’ve ever responded to an email. I am bipolar, and I have to tell you, the website has been a godsend to me. Dealing with this myself, I know what it’s like to be a realist, not a positive or negative person. You have to tell the whole truth, or people will not know what they are dealing with, let alone HOW to deal with it. I’ve found your comments to be very informative, they have helped me know when I am heading down that sippery slope, and how to tell friends, loved ones, and co workers just exactly how to deal with me when I am having one of my “moments”. Keep up the good work! We appreciate the time you take out of your busy schedule to keep us informed!

Hi David,

Don’t let that discourage you people need information and have to make their own choices from what they find out. I was really scared I thought maybe that I had bi-polar but i realised that it was really my ex-parters working on my low self esteem from reading your materials i realised this. I think this is very useful and very important I have friends with partners and relatives with this disorder and it should be spoken about.

Keep going you probably know in your heart whatyoua re doing is right.

wendy

Hi Dave, I would like to say thank you for all of the information and support you have provided! I am not BP but I have dated two women in the past 5 years that were severe BP’s. I have to sympathyze with Andrea, it was the worst experiences of my life. Neither of them were taking meds though. You simply cannot have a functioning relationship with a BP who does not seek the adequate treatment or will even aknowlege they have a problem. My experiance with them was like being eaten alive from the inside out by a hideous parasite……..I hate to characterize it like that but that is exactly what I felt. So Dave, keep up the great work and Andrea, I wish you all the luck in the world dealing with this issue; I’ve been there more than once!!!

Hi David, It is what it is. I support my son that has Bipolar and it is not easy. People need to be realistic. You are telling people what they need to know not what they want to hear. Thanks Lisa

David,

You tell the truth and a lot of people today don’t want to hear the truth. It’s easier to hide under the veil of denial than face the harder things in life. You are not responsible for how people react to your message. DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER! Whether this woman decides to stay with her significant other or not is not your responsiblity or fault. Chances are if she is talking that way, she probably has had doubts about the relationship for a long time and this has finally given her a “reason” to not stay. For the rest of us, yes sometimes it is hard to read, but afterwards I think to myself “at least now I understand”. Knowledge is power for change. Change in our own attitudes about BP, our partner or ourselves. Keep doing what you are doing and don’t question yourself. Just like on the playground, not everyone is going to like you. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t a likeable person.

Your e-mails are in no way negative and are a true reflection of what it is like to experience and live with the disorder. I suspect the woman who e-mailed you was simply experiencing grief that needs to be worked out with a clinical psychologist who can explain the challenges of the disorder. I have BP1, and my fiance also has BP1, but he has an off/again on/again relationship with accepting it. His treatment is substandard. To make it short, sometimes I feel like giving up. But, in the end, I feel like your blogs have helped me to focus my energy in positive way towards helping him help himself, and despite having the disorder myself; I am able to also be a more effective supporter. Keep up the good work. It is sorely needed.

take me off your email

Dave,
I do not think that you are negative at all. As a supporter of a boyfriend with bi polar disorder I can personally tell you that your site has helped to keep me sane and to realize that I am not always right but certainly not always wrong when dealing with my boyfriend. I have not gotten him into treatment yet but we do discuss his condition and I reference your site to him all the time. She ( the girl who emailed you) has got to realize that there is all degrees of bi polar episodes. Some are short and some are long, Some are easy and some are HARD. She has to be able to commit. If she cannot be a supporter because of fear then she has the problem. Your site has as god of information as any other site I have researched on the internet and at the Library. Please keep up the good work, we do benefit from your site. You give information up front and do not try to sugar coat it. Yes I would have an easier life if I walked away from John, but hes the man I love and I took on the total package.

Dear David,

I have been receiving your mails for a long time now, and I have to say, if it was not because your advices, I would just go on with no hope, my doctors made me think this disease was not only impossible to cure, but that would make imposible for me to have goals… thanks to your advices, I decided I could follow my dreams.. now I am about to finish a phd with no significant problems but a slight depression now and then, I have two of my papers published and I made my phd away from my son… how can a hopeless person do that?

Thanks for your advices

Dave – I have received insight into my disorder from your perspective. The lady who is upset about a relationship with a bipolar probably is not ready for the relationship. That is her learning assignment to decide for herself

Dave,
Neiither one of you is right or wrong in the situation. You provide everything possible for a person/supporter to be successful with Bipolar. Andrea just doesn’t get it. Yet. If she continues to think about the possibilities, she can be successful with her chosen mate OR some people simply choose to not live with the Bipolar. I won’t say the person is selfish. Maybe Andrea just knows her boundaries. You offer a gift.

Hi David,

Your emails have helped me tremendously as a bipolar supporter. They state facts. The fact is that bipolar disorder is a brutal disease for both patient and supporter. I was married to a man who has bipolar disorder 1. He seemed so wonderful to marry. He was manic and putting on a big show to get me. When we got married he was so selfish and completley hard to deal with. I got him to the very best doctors, he was put on heavy meds and monitored constantly, therapy, and I went and took him to all appts. I got him on his private disability ins.and he has perfect med. ins. He had no more burdens I took care of everything to get him well. All my spare time was spent learning everything I could about bipolar disorder 1. I was a super supporter. I did everything you said to do. I loved him and talked with him constantly. I got nothing in return but ungratefulness. He is completely self-centered and always very negitive about what he has. He was so extremely manic all the time I was loosing myself. Dave, he had the very best all time. He got it in his head to leave and live with his family in another state after I took great care of him and loved him. I finally got so exhausted from trying to tell him he was making a huge mistake leaving his supporter that I just let him go. He left and after he got away he realized what he had and begged to come back and is constantly calling me begging to come back. I can’t let him back in as this was not the first time he did this. I did EVERYTHING YOU SAID and more. His therapist and dr. told him not to leave and to love his wife and be good to me. He never listened to them. His bipolar disorder 1 took everything I had to give and has taken who I am and all that is left is somebody who needs time to heal and get herself back. This just recentley happened in the last year.

Andrea only saw in the factual part of what you write that she could get into this situation I have been in and she does not want that in here life. I wished I would have known. I would never have gotten involved or married to him. I was more lonely in the marriage than before I married him.

Kim

I think it is important to be a realist when discussing any disease, which is what Bipolar Disorder is. It is difficult to be positive about a disease that has no cure. But that doesn’t mean you are being negative. If this woman is afraid, she has every right to be but she shouldn’t be blaming it on your information. As someone who is Bipolar and in a relationship with someone who has Bipolar, I have learned to have no expectations but to hope for the best. You have a lot of useful information on your website and you should feel good about everything that you are offering to others. This woman you speak of needs professional help to help her determine whether or not to stay in the relationship.

David,
I stared with zero knowledge about bipolar and the first thing I did when I started dating a lady with bipolar was to start receiving you information. The information has helped me so much understand why she feels like she does at times. Keep up the good work!

Mark

The woman did say she learned a lot. I think she was looking for answers about herself and her relationship with a person with bipolar disorder. Perhaps her honest answer is simply, after learning about the disorder and what is required of a supporter she decided she could not handle it. If that is the case you know that is best for both of them and you helped in the process. That is all good.

I do admit, I am not as faithful as a reader as I should be. But the newsletters I have read have been very enlightening. I have tried to imply your thoughts and suggestions into my relationship with my boyfriend. Yes, some have worked and some haven’t, but I believe in the long run the pro’s outway the con’s. So, please continue the newsletters for I need this extra support. Thank You.

Dont be disheartened, when I feel alone and discouraged, I find your
posts encouraging and can-do. It’s like having a friend to turn to, one who understands. Thanks, Dave.

David,
I don’t know if you will read this but, I really hope you do. I’m not writing this to you to for any reason other than to tell you if I hadn’t found your site and YOU in particular? I believe I would be scouring the Internet for hours upon hours searching for information on a disease that affects my 16 year old daughter and the most amazing, incredible and very special Man who came into my life very recently. I do not have BP. How ever, I do have depression and am recovering from growing up in a home with double diagnosis’s mental illness (BP father who didn’t get treated) and alcoholism.
I want to tell you David, your perspective, 1st hand experienced, tried, failed, tested, questioned, tirelessly researched, intuitively acquired information that you bring to the world of BP resources doesn’t even begin to rival health care professionals. (Yes, I know you are not a Dr., A Lawyer, a therapist…and sometimes David? I wonder if some of the professionals I deal with who specialize in BP are professionals LOL).
Your email is the first of my morning. I read it because I want to hear how you are going about your day. I read it because I get energized and feel like I am not alone in this. I read it because as a supporter I want to find out every possible thing I can to pass on and to assist my loved ones to live a stable life. Mental Illness ain’t for wimps or narcissists…LOL!!! I say this with my highly developed dark/light sense of humour. I think fellow survivors & supporters understand. (My apologies to those readers who may be offended by the ability to look for the light when the dark is plotting to bring us all down.LOL)
I find the biggest challenge is to find a health care professional who speaks to or informs us with out hyperbole or superiority for real life explanations. I try to remember these professionals are people too yet I am tired of finding out vital information by accident or by a stranger on a bus who happened to start talking… I know you understand that.
It is because of your uniquely YOU manner I stay on your site. David, we all question ourselves. I know I usually do that when I am tired, hungry, frustrated or running on empty. I dare say my friend I hope you do something to look after yourself today as you have been extremely busy lately. (It is just an observation of a pattern from reading your daily emails!!!LOL)
I am out here in the great beyond thankful for your site my friend and your daily efforts. I really do want you to take some time to rest. I am also a positive and upbeat person. I don’t suffer doomsayers gladly. I dare say if the woman who sent you that email doesn’t come to realize the difference between who her partner is vs. his BP in action? It may be a blessing for both. Just imagine the triggers that would take place with a non-supportive DYS-functional partner. Her self doubt seemed to be a projected on to you in her email. A common dynamic when one isn’t able to see what is there choice and responsibility to be confronted or not. (NO, I’m not a Dr. or therapist either LOL, just a long time observer of the human condition). LOL.

I know my daughter and my beautiful friend need my support, understanding and continual acceptance and not judgment, scorn or expectations beyond their ability to function with what they have. It is not a choice or a moral issue, it is Mental Illness. I always remember to ask what the disease is and what is the personality? This can seem like it is an impossible task during an episode or during an ordinary day. Learning about BP and using good communication skills with loved ones and people in general helps me assess and make the next right choice for myself, my daughter and my friend. It isn’t easy as you well know. We are all Perfectly Imperfect! I honestly feel David accepting the things you can change, accept the things you can not change keeps things simple. David you help me understand what I can do and can’t do to help myself and my loved ones suffer less from the effects of BP and live in healthy stability. I have grown tremendously beyond where I could have imagined and I couldn’t imagine the whole in my life with out my daughter or my friend.
David, you are a good man and a blessing to me and those who care to accept what the reality of what life with BP IS.
And for someone I have never met in my life you have had an incredible impact and will continue to do so. Please recharge my friend there is much still to do and we have much more life to live! Big Hug & Blessings unto you and your staff.
Very Kindest Regards,
Amy

dear david;please dont let those negative emails get to ya, dont let some silly people ruin it for the rest.alot of us have found a friend in you,a understanding,been there, friend. I ask who doesnt need a friend? since i have found this site and been able to read your emails and people actually responding to things ive said here , i dont feel so alone in all of this . i just wanna thank you david for making this possible and may God bless you abundantly! your friend kat

Hello David,
On the situation with Andrea: I’m sure she knew in the beginning of the relationship that her boyfriend had the bipolar condition. It was not a surprise of any kind. God gives us the strength to do anything we put our minds to. If you care for someone then you will find that inner strength. I know that it can be frustrating and hard to understand sometimes. But this person in no different for her it just so happens that this person was born with a condition that he will have to live with for the rest of his life. He didn’t choose to have this condition. Most people have some kind of problem, condition or baggage. Whatever the situation may be, we all have something that people don’t like about us or can’t deal with. So to her I would say it has nothing to do with your website or emails or anything you have said or done or not said. She may think that she’s not strong enough to handle his situation or maybe she knows that she just can’t deal with it. She just needed someone to put the blame on other than herself. What ever the case may be she will find her way. If she wants out then she needs to get out of the relationship but she shouldn’t blame that on you. You are trying to help people understand the truth behind bipolar and to that I’m ever so grateful I came across your website. Thank you and your staff for trying to help people understand Bipolar.
Thanks again,
Kyla

Hi David,I agree with you. This person is abviously in denyial. When her problem is put out there in the open she doesn’t like it. She should just continue having her pity party or take the info & apply it. If she doesn’t like the truth , how can she live with the lie, she needs help & you are gracious enough to share with the world. You are a good person & don’t look at people like this, put your positive energy into those who love & appreciate you.
God bless & keep up the good work.
Maureen

Hi David:
I wanted to thank you for all that you do for all of us who are either bipolar or those of us who are trying to help someone who is bipolar. You speak the truth and sometimes the truth hurts when someone reads it. That is not true for me, I take what you write in a positive manner. I do have bipolar II and PTSD. I take my medication everyday and I have a wonderful councelor who helps me also. You help give me a better understanding of what Bipolar is and how to manage myself in a better way. Although at times I still have troubles, but don’t we all? I have to tell all of you out there, all David does is try to help us get a better understanding about Bipolar and he writes the TRUTH. And if some of you don’t like the truth, I’m sorry, but it’s better than lying. So please do yourselves a favor, don’t lie to yourselves and take what David gives you in a positive manner, all he is trying to do is to help you and your family members.
Thanks David.
Tammy

i read your email and my opinion is this, there are alot of negative sides to bipolar, however, i prefer the truth than sugar coating since my life isn’t sugar coated. i appreciate the emails and the info that i get from you. i feel sad for this woman who can’t seem to see past the negative side to the positive side that your help can bring. thanks for letting me share. lisa

Dave

I think you DO try to be realistic, not negative. If anything, I’d say you were overly optimistic. (But then, I’m a miserable bugger! ;oD )

The fact is that BP isn’t a bed of roses for those with it or their supporters. It is usually at its worse before it is treated, and even when it is being treated, it can be a nightmare until the right dosage and blend of drugs are found. And even THEN, when relative stability is found, there will STILL be breakthroughs. That’s the nature of the beast, and it IS a beast. There is no way BP can be presented any other way.

Sure, it can offer some side benefits. But the benefits of greater creativity and high productivity are usually symptoms of the BP running (too?) loose towards the manic side! If it is reigned too far, the balance can tip over towards the depressive side, when some morbid creativity may exist but productivity goes down the toilet as energy levels hit the dirt with motivation, and the body desires sleep to hide from the feelings of the depression.

At times, it can be hard and it can be easy, it can be joyous and it can be a nightmare. But it isn’t a balance between “the good and the bad” – the balance most surely is biased towards the bad.

I’m not being negative, as you are not, either. That’s just the way it is. Some people live with only one leg. It can be a bitch but they live it anyway. Some people are blind or they are deaf, and some unlucky folk are both! It’s a bitch but they have to live with it. Like the paraplegic, they have to come to terms with the problem and live with it anyway, get on with their lives as best they can in spite of the “disability.” That’s how it is with BP. It’s there. It’s not nice when it’s awake, not for anyone. But there it is! These are the cards we’ve been dealt with. We have to play them as best we can. Hoping for something better isn’t going to help! We have to accept what we’ve got and get on with our lives as best we can, knowing that many things are possible in spite of the illness, knowing there will be years when we can achieve great things when the damned illness is in remission, knowing that even when the beast is wide awake and messing with our heads and screwing up our families, the time will come when the beast will sleep again and we can do good stuff again. That’s not a negative message. That’s reality. IT’S HOW WE DEAL WITH REALITY THAT DEFINES IF WE ARE NEGATIVE OR POSITIVE!! It is how we PERSONALLY interpret the truth, our perspective of it and how we adapt to it, or not, that defines if we are positive or not.

It seems to me that you, Dave, always try to find that silver lining in the dark clouds and focus on that. THAT is positive, but it is also realistic to acknowledge the dark clouds exist.

Well, you asked for views, Dave. Is that helpful? ;oD

Hi David,
The service you provide is invaluable! It’s just that reality can be harsh, and it takes time to find that place of peace, whether a supporter or survivor, when dealing with the acceptance of reality. There is the normal process of evaluation… denial… etc. that the mind goes through. Take a lesson from your great advise… and don’t take things personally, even though it may appear that it is aimed that way. If you were in front of me, I would give you a big hug for all the good that you do. Whether someone sees the good is out of your control. It is in their control as to how they wish to perceive the message. As for my perception… You offer HOPE, and for me, that is key!
THANKS!
N

2 children and Eight and 1/2 years into my marrigage and I dont know if I can support anymore.
It’s a scary feeling. My husband wasn’t dx untill I was pregnant with #2.(I blame myself for not examining the red flags pre-marriage) I cried the entire 2nd pregnancy because The thought that “I was bringing children into this world that may have to deal with this disease is frightful!” A long time ago We chose not to tell very many people about our “REAL LIFE” becuase of reprocussions! I just don’t think I can pretend any longer. My husband doesn’t share alot of his inner thoughts with me but what he does share, sounds difficult.He comes across to others as the life of the party and nice guy to everyone but saves his TRUE self for me> Im starting to realize that becasue of my new behaviors of being very TIGHT and edgy. That everyone around us (that doesnt know the deal) Thinks I’m the one with the problem. He is on meds. but even with that, it still isnt enough. he goes through rapid cycling each Day! I love the person he truley is but the monster inside seems to be getting bigger. He has no support system except me and my parents. (his family has been in denial his whole life) Ive tried to reach out to them for help with no luck. Now Im just discusted with them. Im only 37 yo. should I continue this life of secret missery or just move on? What about my children? All I can tell them is ” leave daddy alone he’s cranky today”????
HELP

graham n,
I agree with you totally, I’m glad that I’m not the only one who thinks that way. You don’t seem like to miserable of a bugger to me!

David, I’ve been recieving your emails approx. 6 months. I’m stabe enough to know that you tell it like it is. You don’t candy-coat anything, or pussy foot around issues. I would describe the corresponance as just a tad aggressive, BUT, hey, I’m here to get better! I don’t want someone that is educating me on my disease to 1/2 azz any of it! I don’t want anything but the truth, and, yeah sometimes the brutal honesty hurts a little. No pain no gain. I want to be able to live my life to the fullest. I have to face the facts of this disease. Most aren’t very pretty. When I have control of the disease instead of IT controlling me, Life can be beautiful. Education, based on fact is not always in pastels.
Thank you David for being in my pc every morning!
Billie

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hi

well i read the email, and all i have to say is that you help people in soo many ways, and they know it, you help me understand my love one, i didnt know that much about it, my boyfriend is bipolar and he jus started getting treated like 9 monthsago, he is 32 years and hes a chef, im 17 we desided to have a baby, and right now im pregnat, but sometimes he scares me, like today, he wants this job but he didnt get it, he was really upset and it makes me sad and upset every time he gets like this, and i really dont need this, because im pregnat, sometimes i really dont know what to do, you can help me alot because you know what you are doing.
so i want to thank you, you are soo awesome.

Dave,

I agree with Texasmom03.
Being a realist means also looking at one’s own life and deciding if one is ready for what might be needed.
And – maybe there are couples out there who could share with some of their positive experience as a couple?

I am very new to the e-mails and site. I am a rapid cycling bipolar. I have been diagnosed since 1992. I was barely 18. I have been on way to many medications in my time but am finally getting things under control through positive support from my husband. I think what everyone needs to keep in mind is that we as bipolars need positive support in order to make it I have been doing great really great for about the past six years. I know that does not seem like a long time to most but to me it is a miracle from where I started. Thank you for all you have done for me david. To the ones with negativity We as bipolars need positive to overcome our negatives. Please keep that in mind and you can make it through anything that we dish out which i fully understand can be overwhelming sometimes but as much as people want to run away from us we probably feel twice as much of that to run away from ourselves. Please keep in mind that we are human beings that have bigger feelings about every situation. or at least this is how I feel

Hello All,
Being married to someone with Bipolar disorder I can tell the girl worried about her relationship with someone with the disease that this is not an easy thing to deal with. There are no beds of roses. There are always issues, the person with the disease is ALWAYS first and foremost in ALL things, the illness is always present, in the house, in the marriage, in your life AND unless you realize that this is what you want and are truly willing make a LIFELONG commitment to this man, DON’T do it. I think you should also make sure that he is stable and has been for some time. We all need to be well before we can truly love another.

Dave you are not wrong when you tell it like it is, if you did try and sugar coat the truth about Bipolar Disorder you sure wouldn’t be helping anyone. Trying to beat around the bush about Bipolar Disorder would only make it more difficult for the ones that have it and the ones that support them to seek out the professional help needed to control it. Dave my wife and I have been supporting our son for a very long time and before we found your site we where doing so many things wrong. Your information and courses have been a tremendous help with supporting and understanding our son. To me your honesty about Bipolar Disorder is the positive factor that keeps be coming back to get the information that helps us with this on going difficult labor of love.
I wouldn’t worry about what one woman says. First of all if she really cared about this person it would not matter that he has Bipolar Disorder. She would talk to a professional and ask his or her advice about the bad and good on this situation. She would probably find out that just because he has Bipolar it dose not mean they cannot have a good relationship. True love is blind to this; it is only one of the many hurdles in the path that life takes you.
bob

I first would like to apologize to anyone in this “family” that I insulted or made angry…especially you Dave. I still read and digest your pearls of wisdom everyday. I wrote this blog 2 months ago when I was in a very fragile state of mind. I met my significant other 19 months ago and fell deeply in love with him knowing that he was bi-polar(he told me on our first date) I had no insite into this disease and was grateful to find your website and eager to learn as much as I could. When we were still dating he went into a episode, relapsed {alcohol and drugs as well} and wound up in jail for 15 months. It was time to make my decision about using my home as his homeplan and I think understandably I was frightened….not just for myself but for my 3 teenage boys as well. Love does conquer all and I truly believe that I have the strength to make this partnership work by being as supportive and loving as I can. I know his beauty,lust for life, brilliance and hope(for us) I feel like I have met my soul mate.He will be part of my life againby the grace of God (and the court system) on March 3rd and our journey will begin. Don’t hate me…please just keep me in your prayers. Andrea

I think you do a loy of good;

David,
I dont get you. People read your stuff and give you a response. However, you either take it to heart or dont responed at all. I sent you an email three weeks ago and never got a response. No, your not a doctor. However, if your going to post your letters and books on bipolar then give your opinion when asked. Other wise what is the point in your web site. teacupjaye

you are doing a wonderful job and please stay as honest as you have been to the very last word. some people just have to see the short end of the stick no matter how well you do at helping those who need it most. keep up the real deal as long as you keep helping others.

DAVE, I was a bit shocked when I read tonight’s email, not Andrea’s but yours, when you said you felt like chucking it all in because of one woman’s negative opinion. I have only scanned through about a third of the 81 responses to tonight’s email and they’re all encouraging you. The vast majority of us really appreciate what you do. If one in a thousand doesn’t like your approach, please don’t let it upset you. You have helped so many people: bipolars and supporters alike. While none of us wants you to get upset, it’s also somehow good to know that you are a real human being with real emotions (including a great sense of humour). Your emails are so much easier to understand than some very scientific articles on other sites and therefore easy to learn from.

My bipolar boyfriend and I met exactly a year ago this week. Your emails and mini course have been of enormous help to me. I have learned, and continue learning to understand the complexity of bipolar disorder. Some crazy things happened last summer and more recently. Without your support I wonder if we would have lasted that long. Now our relationship is growing and strengthening. Occasionally he still does my head in, but so do other people who are not bipolar – nobody is perfect. Thanks to your help, I can understand much better how he feels and why he does what he does. Keep up the good work, Dave, and don’t let a tiny minority discourage you. A little advice I would like to give you: Don’t work too hard! Take some time off and look after yourself! Thank you.

Dave
This is my first time writting to you. I find your emails very uplifting and informative. More so than my Bipolar Support group. I was diagnosed as being bipolar 2 on April 8, 2003. Please keep up with the good work and keep on keeping me informed your emails are one of the highlights of my day.
Debra Chase

You are doing a great job and keep up the good work, as you see with all these comments, obviously you are helping so many people in need.
I thank you for all your hard work, time, effort and all that you and your team do to help those of us that have BP disorder.
Thank you and your wonderful team for all that you do for us wanting to better ourselves with what we have.

personally I don’t think your e-mails and things have helped me, but I really appreciate what you are trying to do. It’s amazing to see someone who truely understands bipolar disorder. I am jobless, homeless, and have lost custody of my 20 month old son because of this disorder, and there is no fixing that at this point. I dropped out of high school, got married and divorced at a young age. I have had so many jobs that it’s not even funny. I don’t have the money to get my meds, see a doctor, or go to counseling. I was in and out of juvenile detention when I was a teenager, in psychiatric hospitals, and even group homes. I am almost 21 now and it’s all gotten worse.

First of all, Dave, it’s apparent that this woman has NOT read many, not to mention ALL, of your “honest” emails. Personally, I think MOST of your emails are VERY positive. Maybe she’s referring to the people who contribute to this blog, who are having trials in their relationships with bipolar, either survivors OR supporters. These can be pretty negative.

Secondly, by being “honest” with us on your email list, you are only presenting this disorder in a realistic way. Your “treatment plan” is excellent, and if every survivor would follow it, there would be fewer episodes. If this woman would buy one of your courses for supporters, she would see that you have nothing but positive ways to help her understand this disorder.

PLEASE do not think you are negative in your emails. Most of them are “heads-up” notes that show us how to handle ANYTHING that comes at us. True – when your website, BipolarCentral lists such things as murder and attacks by persons suffering with bipolar disorder – it appears that this illness is hard to deal with and would scare this woman off.

But there are a LOT of supporters who love their bipolar loved ones and TRY to make it work. These are the ones who do their research and read EVERY ONE of your emails to get the proper perspective of what to watch for and “handle” the one with bipolar.

I, for one, have learned an awful LOT about my illness. I’ve learned about “triggers” and “stress” and how to try to avoid them. This woman has to be realistic about what boundaries she can set with her significant other, and whether SHE, alone, can live with it. As you say, EVERY person with bipolar is DIFFERENT, just like every “normal” person has fluctuations in mood. It’s just that our mood swings are more extreme and can be negated by the proper medications and therapy. But – only if we WANT to follow your “treatment plan.”

This woman who wrote you is uneducated about bipolar disorder. You can discern this by her attitude. I wouldn’t worry if I were you. This is just ONE person’s opinion, and there are sooo many of us who appreciate your daily hard work to get this information out to us.

So – I give you a big “thumbs up” to the way you are trying to educate both bipolar survivors and supporters. Don’t let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch.

Thank you, Dave, from the bottom of my heart. You are a godsend to those of us who have NO supporter other than yourself to gauge our moods and keep us on the straight and narrow path.

BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God hold you in the Palm of His hand, and bless you real good.

Dave,
I feel it would be a really wonderful idea if your bipolar employees could post their comments here too! They could tell us about their experiences working for you and how you have positively influenced their lives. I’d also love to hear from your Mom about your work and how it has helped her. What do you think? Sincerely, Bill.

DAVID DAVID DAVID,
You are experienceing what bipolar people experince every day of their lives. People always putting them down.
You are doing great guns and I appreciate the emails I get from you.
I cant afford the whole course and I am greatful that you at least give us something for free that is worth reading.
I am bipolar and I am doing up the interior of my home. My house is 25 years old and back in those days they used a lot of chip board in the interior of the home not realizing thaty in time it would crumble.
I have just finished building three steps up into the bedroom area.
The reason is I went down to the kitchen one night to get a glass of water and went through the stairs. I had a bruised shin for two weeks after that.
Money is tight and i couldnt sfford to geta builder in so I devised a plan and have just about finished building the stairs myself.
I never give up and neither should you. I am a 58 year old female.
If you say to me you cant do something its like waving a red flag in front of my face.
I CAN AND I WILL IS MY MOTTO. there are always detractors.
They will go to their graves moaning about what some one is successful at. GIVE THEM THE BIRD AND JUST KEEP ON GOING

David,
I think sometimes what you say is scary. But I have to say until I received your course and emails I was clueless how to best help my husband. He had never been diagnosed and he is 46 years old. Just the last 2 we found out that is what he had all these years. Before the past 2 years he was labeled an “alcohlic” But really he was self medicating when he would go manic. VA just gave him a pill and sent us on our way. Needless to say, the meds weren’t working and he went into a manic spell and ended up in trouble with the law and fiancially has almost ruined us. Now I know becasue of your course and c/d it is much more than just taking a pill, and more importantly so does he. Thank you you are a God sent to me. I medical field is really not that helpful.
My husband is very smart, and you had mention in an email about needing more help I would really appreciate knowing how he could apply for a position. He is very computer savvy.
Again, Thankyou Patti

This is regarding yesterday’s e-mail. And there are times that the things you say sound negative, but overall you try to show that both supporters and survivors need to find positives and live there.
There are things that you have said that I have disagreed with, like how bad support groups are. But I read and took in what you said. I then posted a comment saying that not all support groups are bad, it really depends on the leader of the group and how the group is handled. Sometimes, members of the group do need to whine but the leader needs to find something to help the person who needs to whine-even if it is just to say that the group cares.
Dave, your e-mails help and after just over a couple of years I have found a way to purchase the courses for both myself and my husband with bipolar.
Please don’t stop telling the truth and please don’t stop the e-mails. Even the ones that we disagree with we can come here and tell you why. You help, you have learned and we can learn from you. Thank you!

Keep up the good work, David.
The lady,s frustration has to do with the surreal/nacisist culture (there is no problem, everythng is OK) dominant in today’s society.
Dan, bipolar supporter.

First of all I believe you are totally right… I don’t feel you are negative at all…. but rather just speaking the truth..

Also I have a question for anyone that can answer it…. When someone with Bi-Polar disorder becomes ill has anyone noticed that they seem to be extra moody, or can’t control their emotions very well…. let me know! I am suffering from the flu and my significant other doesn’t quite understand why i seem to have “an attitude”.

Hello David.
We would all like the realiy to be sugurar-coated,to our various tastes but sometimes as we all know certainly the truth is sour as much sweet.Your articles are positivly sour within a half full attitude.
Thank you for your research and for youre negative possitivity.
John

TO JULESGIRLS:

I figured I’d get into touble using the analogy I used….so perhaps I’ll clarify a bit. The entire reason I’m here is to learn more about how to be supportive of someone with bipolar. Considering the fact I’ve been with two BP women in the last 5 years, I doubt they will be the last. I am very happy that you have someone in your life that supports you through such difficult times. I tried to be there for Anna and falling in love with her was the biggest mistake I ever made. Watching someone you love and care about purposly destroy themselves takes a tremendous toll on your own personal well being……for me, IT WAS LIKE BEING EATEN ALIVE FROM THE INSIDE OUT BY A PARASITE. Her illness was not only taking her down….but me as well. Her self destructive behavior was only the tip of the iceburg. She had two suicide attempts, one when I was with her. She slashed her own throat with a strait razor the first time!!! The more I tried to be there and help her get her life back on track and support her, the more destructive she got and the more she turned on me and blamed me for her problems. She was perscibed lithium but REFUSED to take it. It was 3 years of pure hell. I had no choice but to cut her off from my life before she ended up destroying BOTH of us. Then, after Anna, I can move on to Jen….luckily, things didnt get nearly as intense as with Anna but a many of the same disturbing signs were present. So after sharing this with you I will admit a certain amount of anamosity towards BP’s after being hurt like I was on both occasions, however, that brings me back to the entire reason why I’m here, to learn and understand the disease because in many ways, I feel like I failed both Anna and Jen. Sometimes I think things would have turned out better if I had known more about the disease from the start. I know I will not soon forget my experiances with either Anna or Jen anytime soon, thats for sure.

Mark

To MARK: You were so brave and courageous to love not only one, but TWO women with bipolar disorder. Though they probably don’t realize it at this point, you were the one who helped them to realize that they were loved.

Being a woman with bipolar, I KNOW all about the “drama” that comes with this disorder. Not only with the delusions, but the racing thoughts, the grandious ideas, and the extremes we put our loved ones through. After I “crash” in the psych wards, I have MANY regrets and a LOT of remorse when I look back and remember what I put my friends and family through. THAT is the hardest part. With every “flight,” comes the “crash.” It’s as simple as that.

At the risk of repeating myself, I dread the “highs,” because, as eecummins, the poet, put it quite succinctly – “Don’t be too happy happy. It’s the happy happy people bust hard when they bust. And they do bust hard when they bust.” The story of my life.

I wish you much good luck in your search for a soul mate, someone you can share what is obviously a very loving and caring nature with. As one of my boyfriend’s mother once said – “Richard needs a ‘normal’ girl.” We bipolars can take you on a very “wild ride!”

Hi Dave,

Its rubbish you are very positive and have helped me alot. People have to be told the facts which you do.
You have to know the bad side of bipolar if not properly treated.
I, a nurse and it took me 2 yrs to get my fiance to face the fact he had a problem and actually get help. I knew he had bipolar but you cant help someone if there not willing to help themselves.
So keep up the good work you are helping people through something that can be very scary if you dont know what your deaing with.
Many thanks
Michelle 🙂

David,
Don’t get discouraged over one person’s choice. We all have our free agency to make choices and it sounds like she’s just not ready to tackle a relationship with someone with BP. Maybe tomorrow she’ll change her mind and be ready. I do not have BP and I really do sympathize with her and understand her comments. I have had the same feelings about hesitating to get involved with an unstable BP person, let alone a stable one. I think that anyone cutting her down is being extrememly rude and inconsiderate of her personal choices. We all have our own schedule, time table and learning pace and she’s just not prepared enough yet. No one should blame her or cut her down for expressing her fears and opinions.
David, what you are doing is incredible! I have a much greater understanding of BP from reading your emails and I love your pod casts! What an awesome educational tool you have created. Keep up the good work. The only reason you should ever quit doing what you are doing is for your own health reasons and your own welfare, not because of one person’s decisions.

Dear David,
I have not been receiving your newsletter for very long but, it has been a great help to me in understanding my adult son’s disorder. Perhaps because I have a spinal deformity and suffer from chronic pain but, I am also a realist. “Sugar-coating” the truth would not help anyone and would in fact be a great disservice to them.
From reading the responses to this matter it’s clear that you are doing a wonderful job for many people. Please don’t let the negativity of this one young lady discourage you. It is obvious that you are a caring person trying to help others. Please remember to take care of yourself and keep up the good work.
May God Bless You
Rebecca

It seems there always has to be someone to try and ruin a good thing for everyone. I believe this lady has her own personal issues and is using your website as an out for her relationship. I appreciate your emails, lessons etc… It is sometimes the only thing that keeps me going. It gives me hope for me and my sons issues. Thank you Dave!

David,

The person who wrote that to you is wrong. I have recently begun to writ to your emails to give you support for the great humantarian service you provide to bipolar people.

The best part of your work and ideas is that you KNOW allof the things that can go wrong in our situations. You are aware that many of us have no one to turn to and need your honest assessments.

Please, David, don’t take that email seriously. Without you some of us would be dead right now. Dana Karson

Hi David and all who read this:

Hope you are all in a stable mood and happy today and forever.

David, with your permission, would you let me run a one question poll on the ones who read what I put on this blog? I am so curious about one aspect I have noticed in the Bi-polars I have had experience that I would really like to know the answer to this one question. I will send the question to you in an email and you can yea or nay, ok?

With lots of love and prayers from my heart to yours to all who have to deal with BPD (or any chronic condition) in any way:

HelenM