Hi,
How’s it going?
Hey, over the last couple of days, I have been to so many places with holiday candy. I actually had some and I was thinking last night about Candy and bipolar disorder which I must admit is kind of odd.
I have heard this saying too:
“Bipolar disorder is like candy – if you don’t manage it right, it can make you really, really sick.”
It sounds almost funny, but it’s true.
You can almost compare the bipolar manic episodes to candy/too much sugar.
You get really, really high, really hyper. You feel great – on top of the world! All your ideas (grandiose ideas) are great ideas – you don’t understand why they’ve never been thought of before.
You have so much energy, you could go on forever – who needs to sleep, anyway?
And money IS like candy – endless supply of it, you go through it until it’s gone, with no thought of how you’re going to feel afterward (or of what the consequences are going to be).
And the fun – oh the fun! What a grand time you’re having!
…until the inevitable crash.
Just like the crash you’d have after eating a lot of candy.
That high does not last forever.
And there are always consequences to pay (sometimes some pretty harsh ones).
That feeling-great-on-top-of-the-world feeling becomes a deep depression. So deep, in fact, that you may even become suicidal (some people have even killed themselves).
Your great ideas are only great to you – to other people they may seem a bit odd, or even crazy. After all that energy is gone, and that lack of sleep catches up to you, you may hit the bed and not emerge for days (or weeks) at a time.
And that spending spree?
The overdrawn checking account…
The credit card debt…
The loss of your car… your home…
The loss of your/your family’s possessions…
The bankruptcy…
The financial ruin…
That’s why in my courses/systems, I teach you how to have systems in place to prevent against all that… because they can devastate you and your family.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
But worst of all…
Is the loss of trust from your supporter.
Because the consequences of your behavior may extend beyond everything I already listed.
You may not remember what you’ve done during a bipolar episode, but they do.
You may have done or said things that truly hurt your supporter, and they are still smarting from them.
They may be feeling mistrustful, hurt, angry, resentful, embarrassed (because of things you’ve done in public), isolated, lonely… among other negative feelings/ emotions. All because of you.
You might want them to feel sorry for you, and may not understand their distance (after all, they’ve been through a lot, too).
What you need to remember is that bipolar disorder is not only your disorder. Because of you, it’s your supporter’s disorder as well.
They have to deal with the consequences of your behavior when you’ve had an episode.
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David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Hello,
I had too much candy… and then I had some more.
My very recent actions have created a mountain of problems… and now I have the depression to go with it. I wake from dreams of crawling around in dark places, running from my demons.
I haven’t had suicidal and self-harm thoughts in quite some time- but I sense them seeping in. I have skills to combat these thoughts so they don’t become plans or actions.
I have a money manager to help curb my extreme spending and gambling problems but I found a way around it… I’m very smart when it comes to obtaining cash. Manipulative and conniving I guess, though that is hard to admit.
When I am in an episode I do everything against my values. When I come down from it I can’t believe the things I’ve done… the damage I’ve caused, the people I’ve taken advantage of.
Now I must radically accept what I cannot change. The past is done.
It’s time to pull out my arsenal of skills… I plan to keep myself occupied. Maybe paint my emotions- or write them in a poem.
If there is one thing I’ve learned after all these years with bipolar disorder-I can make it through this. I am strong. This too shall pass.
I am very well aware at how my bipolar affects my supporter. Especially the isolation.
I not only recognize it, I live it EVERY DAY. As does my husband. The holidays are very difficult for…the both of us.
“You might want them to feel sorry for you, and may
not understand their distance (after all, they’ve been
through a lot, too).”
I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. That’s got to be the worst. Empathizing is one thing, feeling sorry for is completely another. I think that this patronizes the bipolar. Sorry.
I posted a comment and it didn’t go through.
I am all too aware of how bipolar affects my supporter especially in the isolation department.
To suggest “I” want them to feel sorry for me is a misstatement and it patronizes me. Empathize is one thing, feeling sorry for is something else.
third try, ive given up
I am so hurt because my partner just ran away and dumped me and even though she is still unwell i cannot forgive her. She ruined Xmas for us, she came of her litium 8 months ago saying she didnt have bipolar and her psycatrist agreed to take her off, but now she’s relapsed and he still hasent put her back on litium. She keeps telling me she’s being treated for anxiety and insomnia but not bipolar. She has told her psycatrist not to tell me anything so i dont know if she is being treated for bipolar. I am so upset i sent her a text on xmas day saying because she has ruined everything i cannot cope with her anymore as the pain is too much. I love and miss her so much but she just doesnt want me anywhere near her. We were so loving and close, we never had any problems as a couple, just a few disagreements over our buisness which we run together. I am now left running the buisness and it appears she’s having a life of reily going out with mates and at her local pub. I dont think I can ever forgive her but i love and miss her so much.
I have been suffering from bi-polar disorder for many years now. I have experience extreme manic episodes that have caused me to be hospitalized. My worry now is that I have been numb from life for the past year. My doctor has tried changing medications and dosages and nothing has worked. I am so desperate that I am going to try a new method of treamtment…..VITALIFT….I don’t know if you have heard of this natural remedy but you can get all the information via internet. I am desperate and willing to try anything at this point.
Please can someone tell me what to do? Do I just let her walk out on me and do nothing until she’s well or do I fight to tell her she’s making a big mistake. I dont know what to do.
Yes, the “Manic high” is GLORIOUS, but ALWAYS afterward is – the “Crash.” The bipolar person CAN’T/DOESN’T/ISN’t aware of the consequences while they’re in a “high;” it’s that GOOD. When I’ve been full-blown manic, I’ve NEVER recognized the fact that I WILL “come down.” The delusions seem so REAL that I WANT them to come true. It’s ALWAYS taken a hospitalization to bring me back to reality; I’ve never been allowed to realize my mistakes until AFTER a hospitalization. To say I’ve been “embarrassed” by what I’ve done in a mania, is an understatement. I’ve hurt sooo many people, and lost sooo many friends in a mania, that I’ve worked EXTRA hard NOT to go even hypomanic, in order to avoid the “high.” So far, I’m succeeding – but knowing the Bipolar Monster still lurks waiting his turn, scares the he*l out of me.
Your analogy of a bipolar “high” and candy seems “right on.” The candy is sweet, and oh, so good while we’re eating it. But – it puts on pounds, leaves us feeling low after awhile, and generally, if we’re NOT careful when we indulge, enacts a sugar “low” that can be DEVASTATING.
So – watch your consumption of “candy,” and try to be responsible. It’s not only YOU who suffers with a “sugar high.”
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
What you write about this time is only too familiar. For many many years I had care of two family members with related problems, bipolar being part. Too difficult to think about. Your article leaves me too closely connected to comment. One spent herself into a big hole trying to find a way to cope, and I did the same thing trying to cope with the situation. What a life! Not buying stuff, just seeking answers and trying to cope myself. Husband is now gone and the other person is doing very well with medication finally being correct. But I am paying a big price for my futile search. My efforts were not what helped the situation.
I dont know how you can feel normal yourself after changing your life to fit this situation.
I JUST CANT SEEM TO STAY ON TOP OF MY HUSB. HIGHS DURING HIS RECENT EPISODES… THIS MENATL ILLNESS HE HAS IS REALLY STARTING TO TAKE A HUGE STRESS TOLL ON ME. HE WAS DOING SO WELL , I NEARLY FORGOT HE HAS THIS, AND THEN IT ALL HAPPENED AGAIN AND I AM FEELING DRAINED. MY HOLIDAYS WERE A MESS. I AM GETTING SICK FROM HIM AND HIS ILLNESS, ANY SUGGESTIONS……
David, I had to read all of that twice because it left me with my mouth hanging open the first time. If my son, who I am supporting were to read this he would very likely go into a depression thinking that as you said.. “because of you” or “its all because of you” that your supporter is feeling the way they do. I don’t like playing the blame game. My son feels badly enough about having been dealt this hand without laying a guilt trip on him as well. I will not be forwarding this one to him. Sorry.
My partner has just had an episode, trying to walk out and take our children, I spent ages trying to think what is the best answer but I dont think there ever is, every person and episode is different. I racked my brains and tried sitting to block the door and letting her scream at me for ages, I knew whatever I did she would say was wrong but I just couldnt let her go. She stayed and is now asleep and I pray she is ok when she wakes and we can talk reasonably. She hurt me so much I used to be a grounded, assertive person and now I am reduced to an insecure and unsure person. But I still love her so much so I fight everyday.
David, What you wrote about the candy high is so true. My wife , who is Bi-polar and an extreme rapid cycler, left me a few days before christmas. SHe went to stay with family and unbeknownced to me put a down payment on a house for herself. I have had the worst Christmas season ever this year. She now wants me to fund her manic episode. I have told her that she will have to get herself out of this one.
The irony of all of this is that she was a physic nurse for about 20 years before she became very sick. Now I am in debt to a very large sum of money and do not seem to see the way to turn this around. I did order your Master Course this past week. I surely hope and pray that there is some helpful information in there to be able to understand and cope with all of this. I truly hope that she understands what she has done to our lives.I hate using tough love, but I have to find some sanity in tis for me or it will have me sick as well.
I do feel so sorry and helpless for my wife, she does not deserve this, but one needs to be accountable for ones actions at times. My heart goes out to all those who are suffering with this illness and especially to those who are supporting their loved ones. It is so difficult for all concerned.
May God bless you all.
My daughter is bipolar and has been rapid cycling since April. She has ruined her marriage by sleeping around, which is very uncharacteristic of her. I have gone in debt to try to keep her from losing her home and auto. I signed for her to get an auto, which she did’nt pay for, so now I am left with an auto that will be repo’ed. She talked her ex into signing for a car that she can get back and forth to work in. She came home in a red convertible. I try to do everything I can to help. I quit my job to take care of her children, I clean her house,cook, and pretty much her maid. She goes into one of her rages and says terrible things to me, to the point that I have considered suicide, but the next day she doesn’t remember it. She is taking Geodon, has been hospitalized once this year and is going for psychiatric evaluation next month. I am just about ready to give up. help
What a season! I knew my 2nd oldest had emotional episodes but I had never seen them like this! My eldest is unmedicated bp – off somewhere on her own. Now my 2nd oldest who thinks she is not like her older sister has gone through a two week episode and is now sliding, doesn’t understand why I am quiet and withdrawn, and “I” am the one treating her badly. I have tried to figure out a way I can get her to a doc, but not coming up with anything that won’t result in a fight – she’s 23, I can’t make her do anything (as she has told me numerous times). The outbursts are a bad thing for her two toddlers to see, what can I do?
Paul and Peter, I’m so glad somebody is having the same symtoms as I am. Although it is so terribly painful for our loved one to turn against us what it means is it is actually a symptom of bipolar and not the actual person who when well loves us. My partner literally changed over night, we are so loving normally and now there’s nothing, she wants nothing to do with me and our business and wants to start a new career doing something she used to do before. Paul, I worry your partner may still feel the same when she awakes, mine still feels the same after 7 weeks. The problem I got is ther doctors are treating her from her old home (not ours because she wants nothing to do with me), and as far as I know she’s still not back on litium so I have no idea when she will be well again. Normally she’s well after hospitalisation about 9 weeks. Please keep posting and I will too, with the hope there’s light at the end of the tunnel. It is so painful when your partner rejects you when they are ill.