Hi,
How’s it going?
I’m going to tell you something, and you may not have thought of it in this way before, but…
BIPOLAR DISORDER IS A THIEF!
The first thing it does is that it robs your loved one of their identity – of their true self. They become this “bipolar self” – this person they weren’t before they were diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Which is hard for you, because they aren’t the same person they are in an episode than they are when they aren’t in an episode, and that can be very, very hard to deal with. So you have to try to remember what they’re like when they’re not in an episode. It’s not their fault. It’s the fault of the disorder. It’s a thief! It steals your loved one’s real self.
Bipolar disorder can steal your jobs – your loved one’s because they might lose their job either because their boss might find out they have bipolar disorder, or they can’t keep doing their job because of the disorder and have to go on disability. Or your job because you have to quit it to become a full-time supporter.
Bipolar disorder can steal your financial security. If our loved one goes into a manic episode (and you haven’t taken charge of the checkbook and credit cards), they can go on a spending spree, spend all the money in the checking account, and/or max out your credit cards. You can go broke, lose your car, house, and even go into bankruptcy, in one manic episode.
One of the main things I teach in my courses is how to become financially solvent against bipolar disorder:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
But, again, I’m telling you:
BIPOLAR DISORDER IS A THIEF!
It can steal your friends. Sometimes friends, like society, don’t understand the disorder (or mental illness in general), and they will turn away from you. It’s like they’re scared of your loved one all of a sudden – scared that they’re going to “catch” their bipolar disorder. It’s not even necessarily your loved one’s fault. It’s the fault of the disorder itself.
It can steal your social life. Not just what I just said, but also because your loved one may be embarrassed in public, or just may be too depressed to go out. Again, it’s the disorder, not your loved one.
It can steal your family. Again, possibly because
your loved one is too depressed to go out, but also it may be because they’ve driven away their family because of what they’ve done in episodes, too.
And because of that, it can also steal your family gatherings, so that holidays are especially difficult and probably a very lonely time not only for your loved one, but for you as well. People with bipolar disorder are usually more depressed around the holidays.
It can steal your standing in church and/or in the community. Your loved one may have once thrived in the community and as a leader. Now they may be just a shadow of their old self. Now they may be afraid of what people think of them.
It can steal your intimacy. Not just sex (either because of the depression or the medication), but just the closeness you used to share.
It can steal your trust, because you don’t know what your loved one is doing during a manic episode, or what the consequences are going to be.
It can steal your fun (when was the last time you had any), and your happiness and enjoyment of life, because of your loved one’s depression and the disorder itself.
It can steal your health – both your loved one’s and your own, because of stress and other health issues that are caused by bipolar disorder.
BIPOLAR DISORDER IS A THIEF!
It can steal your time, when your loved one has to spend time in a treatment facility and/or hospital.
It can steal your self-esteem.
It can steal your security as well, as you wonder when the next episode will come?
It can steal your loved one’s fulfillment and satisfaction with life, as they struggle with no sense of productivity.
It can steal your dreams…
It can steal your lives, as bipolar disorder takes over your whole lives, and everything begins to evolve around the disorder. Everything I’ve just talked about.
But worst of all…
Bipolar disorder can steal your loved one’s life. If your loved one stops taking their medication, they can kill themselves. Now do you see why I say that…
BIPOLAR DISORDER IS A THIEF!!!
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
Gooday
please refrain from sending any more mail to the abovementioned e-mail address as i do not need any more information on bipolar disorder
Kind Regards
And then there are drug addicts that do all of these same things and use “bi-polar” as their excuse!
My boyfriend did all of these things and thanks to your website, I figured him out. The “bi-polar” medicine made him crazy. He is now clean and hasn’t had an “episode” in over 5 months…yes, he ended up in jail, but is even doing well there!
I will continue to “watch” him, but I think I nailed him. He is an addict and used bi-polar to get all kinds of different drugs…hope I’m right…
Recently you sent an Email about Let’s make a deal.
How does this sound for Let’s make a deal:
Door Number One: I see a psychiatrist and get a diagnosis of BAD.
Door Number Two: I take some psychotropic medication (?) and end up in a real hospital walking around with a box in my pocket monitoring my cardiac arythmia.
Door Number Three: You’re busted!
Look’s like to me it is all too obvious that you don’t want to hear the truth!
Just like the bible says: ye shall know the truth and there are none so blind as those who refuse to see!
Oh, I’m sorry I am letting my religiousity show. Gee, heck, darn, I must be sick, huh?
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!! And being a friend/supporter for someone with bi-polar/anxiety disorders, it is very hard to watch this “thief” in action. That is why I have been trying to organize mental health awareness opportunities in our church–to pray for those who are being ‘robbed’ of life and offering love, support and hope to them. Not only does this thief affect those with the mental illness, it effects all those in their lives—some who do walk away, as you say, and those of us who stay. I would encourage all those who are supporters to get your own support, and to turn to the God of all comfort, the best support of all.
What can I do when my husband is in an episode?
He is in a very low depressed mood for a week now,
his first major one in about 3 1/2 years, when all this began..
We had his lithuim and depakote levels checked, lithium right
on the edge of normal and depakote a little low. He has an
appt with the psychiatrist but not for another week. What do
they do for this episode to bring him back up?
To all those that believe this disorder is not a “thief”, you have not been in it’s presence. To the above reponses. Elaine, I wish on my service dog, that helps me get thru each day I had a drug addiction I could beat. People like your boyfriend are the reason the I have a stigma attached to me, the moment I say” I am bi polar”
This illness stole 10yrs of my life, and not from lack of trying or stopping medication. Allergeric reaction to almost every medication, a thyroid codition, adernal Insuff. I have gone thru ten’s of thousands of my parents money. When I was manic, my daughter lives with my mother. We are close and I cry daily cause she is not with me. But she has a stable eviroment I can’t give. Rather I cry then her.
I lost my husband, my sister and I rarely speak anymore. I spend holidays with my service dog. What the future holds I due not know. I do know I will not make my daughter go thru life saying” my mom killed herself” I owe her that. So I am in this till the end…
Dear David,
It´s the first time I post a reply on ANY bipolar discussion.
I´m 39 and diagnosed on march 2006.
Agreeing with your remark on the social fobia, i´d like to add:
Here in Brasil bipolar disorder is becoming notoriuos but peolple don´t even try to understand it.
Two cases were in the media recently, one less than six months and other ended two days ago.
The first one, a bank clerk drove her car on the wrong way of traffic for about two kilometers.
In the other one, that ended two days ago, a 19 year old boy went to his ex-girlfriend´s house, kept her and other girl captives for 80 hours and finally ended killing the ex-girlfriend and shooting the other one in the face. Gladly she survived.
On both cases the media said that these people were bipolars.
On the kidnapping case, a therapist went on national interview and assured the boy was bipolar.
My indignacy is: BASED ON WHAT ?
The therapist never even talked to the boy, how can he give a diognosis based on what he saw on tv ?
The bank clerk was even worse, no “medical staff” said nothing, only the tv reporter sais she was bipolar, based on “god knows what” !!!
My diagnose was “wonderfull” cause I understood so much of my past attitudes.
The social “death” is awfull but I never was a frinds guy anyway…
What is bothering now is that, to my wife I have a disease like diabetis or something else, needs attention and care, but life is almost normal.
But family is another story, My mother-in-law phoned yesterday to advise caution with me, I might go killing my kids, just like the kidnapper on tv.
My mothers heart-doctor said I´ll end my days (when older) in a mental-hospital. You can imagine what that comment did to my 82 years old mom.
Anyway, I feel that worse than “social fobia” from the disease is the wrong notion that the media gives to the disease, like bipolars are killers, kidnappers, etc…
It´s past time that the media provides an acurate study of bipolar disease, to show that many bipolars are productive and “normal”.
There´s a brasilian book called strong temper and bipolarity, I guess that´s it. Most of time is a strong temper, not a killing spree….
Regards
Marcelo
I don’t know what to say, because, the last article nock me down; is like you are inside my house to see how my sister in law behave. Don’t be nosy! it seem like I have to close my doors and windows.
Dave, your pages are very helpfull and have a touch of fine knowledge of that disorder, because what I learn from you I don’t learn them from the medical books. Im trully sincere about it.
David Oliver I couldn’t disagree with you more on this concept that “Bipolar Disorder is a thief”. This is a horrible way to look at a treatable disorder!!!
Dear Dave I am astonished that such a direct, needed, TRUE email(a truth which needs to be underlined again and again-which you handled with so much clarity)-drew So many(read that ANY) bad emails. This is proof of the malign nature of the illness-which tends to infect all in its reach. Dave continue to post emails like this. They are more than necessary-they are explications of the destructive powers of mental disorders-any detractors from such obvious truths is wittingly or unwittingly complacent with a thief in their midst.
thanks Dave,
Neville.
Iam dealing with a daughter 23 with bipolar. She has been acting strangley as a teen. Has been on meds since then. This disorder has gotten worse, now she sees a therapist. This support group is very enlightning. I now see more signs as she got older, and am very scared she won’t be able to find the right meds. (she has been on 2 so far). It is very hard to watch this every day. She feels like a faliure, can’t concentrate runs away from everything and does not want to cope with issues. I try as a mother to help her and I will not give up but it has put a strain on our relationship as well as my husband. I will continue to read up on it every day. I also pray for others
You are right about the ‘stealing’ and ‘theivery’ – this disorder sometimes feels like an evil entity on its own- ravaging our minds and bodies without our permission. Then when it’s all over- we stand there and say to ourselves…what the he@! just happened? People do not trust us or want to be around us. We are unpredictable- so trust is not there from others.
I refuse to be a victim. One of the important things we can do is to realize that alcohol and any mind altering street drug is POISON to B.P individuals and eventually will kill us. Besides medication mgmt and behavioral changes, staying away from these substances can help us stay on track and function to the best of our ability.
Hi Dave
I read the Bible as a child and got nightmares of all the violence in it. What I’m trying to say is that there are two or even more sides to a story. Thanks for a very interesting e-mail. There are a lot of good life’s lessons in your e-mails Dave.
Hope your day is going well.
Hi David, I find most of the things that you write to be helpful!
Take care,
Shari
Dave, this email you send today is so right..I also think its great what you are doing Becky in trying to have more awareness.
I totally agree that bipolar is a theif, and it does have great effect on the surviors and supporters.
God bless you Dave for all you do for us with your support and imformation, God bless thoes who suffer from bipolar and there familys.
How very true! I find myself always wondering? What kind of life I would have had if this would not of happened to me.? What a very smart Lawyer , or Doctor Instead of being one of those people, I have to wonder What good Laywer I will need or Doctor could help me. ? Always scared of what I might have done or what I am leading up too?? What a Thief, thats what this is very about? Can I be saved? Who will believe me???
Hi Dave
Your saying is true. I have changed so much over the years. Why even while on medication do you still have to suffer and carry the consequences of it. You already endure the pain and anger it cause and then it steal your life and destroying it by making you the nastiest person. You lose friends, lose your job, self-esteem, happiness, joy and all you are left with is anger, frustration, sadness and loneliness. You don’t feel like visiting because you’re not always in a mood for people. They don’t understand how you feel even if you explain to them they don’t even understand the illness only you as a bipolar person knows what it is to feel the way you feel. It does affect your spiritual life, but only if you really allows it to happen.
Thanks Dave
David:
When I read the posting about bipolar being a thief, it was as if God opened the clouds and spoke one of the greatest truths. This email, to me, is on of the most profound, insightful and appreciated ones yet (although I appreciate all of them).
Bipolar robbed me of 25 years of life until I was diagnosed three years ago. Now with therapy, medications, changing my lifestyle, eating, exercising habits, etc., I have a more manageable life, and yet it is filled with HUGE challenges. If a person were to see a video of my past 25 years it would appear similar to a scene in Kansas where a tornado has left a shattered trail of debris and destruction for as far as the eye can see.
Thankfully along the way, I also have learned that one must sort out the bipolar from the other garbage like psychological disorders, personality disorders, and such. Just like the drug addict above, there is much confusion, ignorance and boogey-man thinking about mental health. Bipolar can be stabilized, yet I am still learning to understand and to change such psychological factors as personality disorders that usually accompany the bipolar because of the great dysfunctional family. It makes the job of overcoming harder, but not impossible.
The worst thing that I have found is that our society and our world still view, and understand, mental illness pretty much as medieval people thought that ghosts live in the forests. We need a revolution of understanding, perspective, mental health delivery, etc., in this world. My decision as a solution to the problem is that I am totally honest and open with people about being bipolar. If they are confused, but will listen, I enlighten them; if they cannot handle it, I feel sorry for them (and hope they break a leg–not really LOL).
David, always, always, always, always, always, always continue your work. You work provides ilumination in a world of darkness. If there is anything you need, let me know and I will do whatever I can to support and to encourage your work. Beyond all the therapists I have met, beyond all the psychiatrists (and most have been voodoo whackos), beyond anything I have done, your BPC has been the most valuable guiding light for my recovery and understanding.
One thought from you that has kept me pushing for a rewarding life regardless of bipolar is that even with bipolar we can have greatly successful lives.
Sincerely, Alan Kenney
Yes, Dave, bipolar disorder IS a “thief.” I don’t even remember what I was liike before it struck. I remember what I DID and what I accomplished. I was a secretary to the Legislative Assistant in my Senator’s office in D.C., living the life I felt I was destined to live. I had a fiance, and an apartment on my own. BUT – I was totally promiscuous and had religious delusions that led me down VERY bad paths.
Once I was hospitalized (for a “rest”) (remember when they called celebrities in hospitals gone for a “rest cure?”), and was medicated out of my gourd, I realized for the first time that I was labeled “mentally ill.” How could I – a highly competitive and ambitious (not to mention “smart”) – woman end up this way? It was NOT fair; it robbed me of what I had worked so HARD to achieve. And to think EVERYTHING I had and believed in, was robbed from me.
It’s been exactly 40 years since my diagnosis, and I had all three of my hospitalizations for mania in my 20s. Because of – or in spite of – having good psychiatrists and excellent medication, I haven’t had a hospitalization since. Oh, yes, I STILL have mini-episodes, but they are treated on an out-patient basis.
BUT – what happened to my self-confidence; my feeling of self-worth; my ability to hold a “good” job; even my social life?? I’m now living off Social Security disability and a small pension from my first late husband. I do NOT feel like a “productive” member of society. Sure – I “work” on the computer, and do a couple of mystery shops a month – but what ever happened to that girl with such high hopes??
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. You are in my prayers.
It seems the older a person with bipolar gets, the more it steals. I have dealt with alot of diseases, disorders and illness being in the health care field, but this is the most mind boggling disorder I have ever come to witness. It is heart wrenching. You wish with all your heart that the person could find complete calm for one day, one hour, one min.
I’ve never stolen a thing in my life. This is a lie, but I guess pretty much a universal one. So now I’m a liar AND a thief. Thing is, I’ve been diagnosed bipolar. That says I’m not responsible for anything. Check me out you’ll see how irresponsible I am. Now. Fix me.
I agree with Allen Kenney. Gone through so much, am now more comfortable with how Im doing. The world does give people strikes, first strike ya have bipolar and if there are too many strikes, youre out. The thing with bipolar is to find the right meds, stay on them, do blood tests to show how things affect one, like blood sugar, etc., and support system. Eventually one should get back those years of fear and agitations that others portray on ya. Mindset is really important. Having hobbies sometimes is super! Smaller goals work great too. I am a bipolar survivor and there are presidents of major nations whove got bp. Dave, these posts are super. I wish youd ve been able to write this stuff long ago.
Blessings from Alaska (where we have darker colder winters) but also have nice bright sunny summers. SAD lights are terrific for moods. Maybe you could write some about that 🙂
Thanks David,
My 11 yr old daughter has bi-polar. It has stolen her friends, school, trust, courage, self esteem and hopes. from me it has stolen my time and at times love and support from family. They all try but none of them really understand as they are not seeing it all. I am so sick of the stigma attached to by polar. Nearly cried when i read your email that someone understands how hard this is for me and how I cant show this to my daughter because then she feels guilty like this is her fault . thanks, j
I assume you check these. Mail me.
yes, I have been robbed of my son, of his role in this life, and of my dreams for him. My heart broke the day he was diagnosed.. I thought his life was over. I thought that he would, in the next few years commit suicide. I thought he would never achieve in life. He has achieved the highest marks at high school and received scholarships. I thought his life (as I saw it) was over. Well, you know what????? He has an excellent psychiatrist, and very good doctors, is on medication and has been stable for the past 7 months. He entered post secondary school, has a 90%+ average and is so enjoying having something to do. Will the monster show itself again.. I’m counting on it. Will he be able to deal with it? I don’t know. I don’t worry about that so much anymore though… we will deal with it as it happens. I am the momma bear and will strike if need be. Right now though, it’s thankfully quiet. Has this stolen anything from me? Yes, my hope for my son’s future. But seeing him succeed this far, it gives me hope……….
hugs to you all who are dealing with this and hugs to you who are supporters.. thanks for the info David!
I think it would nice to know how to recover the items stolen by bipolar disorder. Although there is no cure, it is treatable with the right combination of medication, a good psychiatrist, a great psychotherapist, strong support system, etc.
I certainly do NOT want to go through life wondering when the next episode will be, if I will have a job, financial security, friends and supporters.
There certainly has to be a solution to stability….and long term stability.
I saw a news flash last night about a new experimental method for depression, which would be for those who have been resistant to antidepressant drugs. The procedure is non-evasive and does not involve medication. But, no additional information was given about it. Does anyone know what it could be?
Thanks so much.Me and my husband r at wits end….we cant think correctly…..as to what 2 do or how to keep him busy/occupied once he is back from the hospital where he had to be admitted after an episode.Any one out there ready 2 help us find ways 2 keep him occupied….productively????
AMITA
Dear Tried them all,
the therapy is Electroconvulsive therapy, known as ECT. its a treatment for depression that uses elctricity to induce a seizure. Its used to treat patients with severe depression, acute mania, and certain schizophrenic syndromes. Youcan see how its done on youtube. They recommneded this for my son but i was too scared to allow it and he did not want it either but “they” it works, I have a freind who had it done and it helped him!
What you say makes good sense. Often times I used to wonder what it was that I did “so wrong”. But the disorder does steal from you, and it’s hard to look at yourself through your loved ones eyes. Sometimes, it’s not until after the episode that I say “What have I done?” or “Why did I do that?”