Hi,
Hey, how’s it going?
Actually my friend asked me if I wanted to go Deep Sea Fishing which I don’t ever do. I don’t really like to do it. Plus I have way too many things to do today.
But after he asked me, I was thinking about bipolar disorder and fishing.
I bet you’d never in a million years think that bipolar disorder could have anything to do with fishing, would you?
Well, let me show you how this guy who actually has bipolar disorder changed my mind.
This guy really likes to fish. He goes fishing wherever he goes.
So he was down in Florida on vacation, and he went on one of those excursion fishing trips where they take you night fishing out on the gulf.
Well, there was this one woman on the boat who’d been fishing for hours, and nothing was happening.
Everything was so calm, in fact, that she had almost fallen asleep.
Then all chaos broke loose!
Her line went crazy!
She was losing control of it!
She couldn’t keep hold!
She just couldn’t do it by herself!
She needed help, and she needed it badly.
Well, she ended up catching the biggest fish caught on the entire boat that night!
Do you know why?
Because the deck hands helped her reel it in.
And this guy was watching the whole thing happen from beginning to end.
So he told me (like I’m sure you’re wondering) how this made him think of his bipolar disorder.
He said that usually, his life is really peaceful.
Life goes along, and things are usually pretty good for him, no real problems to speak of.
But then some things start to go wrong.
He gets a little stressed.
He might start losing some sleep.
His meds get a little off.
He just “doesn’t feel right.”
Then all chaos breaks loose!
He feels like he’s going crazy!
He’s losing control of it!
He can’t keep hold!
He just can’t do it by himself!
He needs help, and he needs it badly.
He’s headed for a full-blown manic episode!
But, just like the lady with the fish, he doesn’t have to go into the episode, because he gets the help he needs.
He has a great supporter and a strong support system.
He told me that remembering that fishing trip and that woman’s experience with the fish helps him stay stable, because he remembers that he can’t do it by himself, and that there is help for him if he needs it.
In my courses/systems below, I talk about how to build a strong support system and how to ask for help when you need it:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
Each person is different.
For this guy, remembering his fishing trip in Florida helps keep him stable.
For others, unfortunately, it’s remembering the last episode, when they forgot that they couldn’t do it by themselves, and that all they had to do was reach out for help.
If you/your loved one has bipolar disorder, I hope you’ll be more like the guy with the fishing story.
FIND OUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT ME
Visit: http://www.bipolarcentral.com/testimonials
David Oliver is the author of the shocking guide “Bipolar Disorder—The REAL Silent Killer.” Click Here to get FREE Information sent via email on how and why bipolar disorder kills.
Post responses below
I David,
I love reading your e-mails and the success stories like the fisherman story that you just sent. They are really inspiring to me and they are great.
I have purchased two materials from you. One is the 7 secrets and the other is the Fat burning recipe book for people with Bipolar (thanks to you I have lost 40lbs, yea!)
I do however need some help. I cannot seam to manage my bipolar disorder. I have been going from extreme highs where I get really manic and do stupid and regrettable things (lasts several months) to going through a long depression period for which I think of horrible things to do to myself to keep my family from suffering because of me and all of the expenses due to my having bipolar disorder. I have a great Psychiatrist whom really tries to help me through these periods and tries to help me manage this disorder. He has helped countless people in managing their diagnosis of bipolar. I also have a good therapist who has helped me work through my past and is helping make good choices for today and for the future.
What am I doing wrong? I have tried and am still trying to use the tools you have given me in your workbooks but still am struggling. I have been told by my and other doctors that if one does not get treatment for this early than they have a harder time controlling it. I have had this disorder since my teens (many thought that I just had a behavior problem). I was not diagnosed and properly treated until I was 31 (I am now 39). I did make it through college and completed my Masters in Mental Health Counseling and Drug and Alcohol Counseling (it took forever), however, I can not work in these areas until I get my own bipolar under control.
Can you Please, Please, Please giving me some direction?
Keep up the articles and the good work you do for people…you are a great person.
Your Friend
Lori
WOW! so there are other people who can get all freaked out and screw up their lives and it’s only being bi-polar. I get all excited about something [like going back to college] and do the preliminany work, then I get freaked out and collapse in a pile. I make up crazy excuses and hide then lie about what’s going on until it all goes away. I used to get really mad and break stuff or scream. but now I hide and lie. I must be getting old.
Is this bi-polar? Some of my kids do it too. or maybe they just learned the tactic from me. We are very intelligent as a family but have behavior problems and some are suicidal. My son shot himself 4 years ago.I’m not kidding.
Our whole family needs help of some sort. I’ve never talked to anyone about this but one daughter has and she was put on lithium. She did better for a while and is much more in control now and going for her doctorate.
Is being bi-polar a genetically predisposed behavior thing? I had 9 children and there are 13 grand children with 3 more on the way. Some are fine and some are like me. We try to help each other a lot but could really use more knowledge about what we’re dealing with.
I really appreciate your website. Is there a discusstion forum where we could talk to someone?
Thanks a lot, Betsy
THat is a cracking story you just said, very well put; it really makes a whole lot of sense. What a great way to observe things. Thanks for that, needed it.
I can comprehend the fishing analogy and how things can be very calm and go smoothly, then a stressful ‘episode’ occurs. It requires the help from others “to bring in the fish” when it is overwhelming. The problem is finding those willing and able to help when we really need it.
Rather than having family throw me a life preserver when falling overboard, they watched as I slowly and painfully drowned. I had faith and hope that they’d throw me a rope, but they waited until I hung myself with it. Then, they told me it was all my fault…I should have learned how to swim. Family members failed to warn me about approaching sharks, but rather enjoyed me being torn apart piece by piece; making bets as to whether or not I would survive the attacks.
Fortunately, I have made a few really good friends through this blog, who have helped me get through the difficulties. Sometimes it is the people who you least expect to be the most caring and helpful.
Thank you so much for the information that you send me regarding this disorder. However my husband seems to be getting worse. He is not aware that I consult this site. Reading the information and reading the feed back of people that are dealing with those that are suffering from this disorder, weather it be them or a loved one. Sometime helps me to understand to be patient sometime. But most of the time is just hearts. He seems to keep going back and forth with issues that we have been having lately. At one point we come to a conclusion, the next he acts as if we didn’t. I am at the end of my patients. I am forty six years of age. He distroys all my belongings as well as business documents and equipment when he gets mannic and contiues to put all of his focus on just devistating our 20 yr old daughter. When she turned 14 his way of dealing with her issues was to put her out in the street. Latley that seems to be his lifes mission. We have a small business and it is suffering badly do to his anger that just seems to never go away. I just want to leave him. we have been married for 20 plus years and I feel like I am suppended in time with no way out. He said he’s depressed but wont seek help. He destroys our home and Iv just gotten to the point that I dont’ fix things anymore. so I know that just makes him more depressed cause now he has to come home and see all of our doors just torn offf the henges. This depresses me as well. I just feel why try.
Hi Dave
I am sorry to tell you even if you turn to family they don’t understand quite what you are going through at that moment. The rather get agitated and ignorant. I wish they can go for some councelling so that they can at least find out how to handle the situation. I explained, my therapist and doctors explained to them, but it seems to me they are still not informed enough. I would feel much better if they just try to understand when I go into a manic or depressed state. They have no idea how I feel because they show no interest they rather ignore my feelings, which make me even more depressed. Dave please help me as I don’t no where to go anymore. If I cry for no reason they think I am crazy if I go manic they think I being silly it really breaks me and I know I should not feel sorry for myself, but what should I do? i’ve had quite a few manic espisodes which I really when beserk, but I could not help for tdshe damage I have done.
Thank you
DAVE
Dave,
I need your help please.
I read all of your emails, and they have helped me understand the need for a system to manage it. I wish I could get to the managing stage.
My daughter is 24, and has something going on that is wrecking her life. I’m not sure it if is bipolar or not, but the symptoms seem to suggest it. She may have other things going on as well.
My problem is that she is still in the denial stage and I can’t get her to go to a doctor. I have tried and tried. This has been going on since she was about 18. Sometimes she is 96% OK, but other times she goes for weeks and months when she is what I call “wigging out” – really bonkers.
I am having to support her now because she can’t hold a job for more than a few days or weeks at the most.
I am a realtor, a single mom with another daughter still in high school living at home, and everything depends on me- I have no help, and no regular income unless I sell – and in this market I am struggling to keep my head above water.
I live in fear that I will find my daughter dead one morning. Or that she will die in a fiery car crash and take other innocent people with her.
I Baker acted her several years ago- they kept her for three days, told her to come back for sessions with a doctor and let her go= she disappeared for about a year and a half. I would hear from her friends that she was around, they would call to ask what was wrong with her, and tell me she was acting crazy, and sometimes she would go see her grandmother- but she would not talk to me or let me see her, or anything.
then she came back and wanted to reunite- and seemed to be ok for a while= then it started up again. She has been bonkers more times than she has been sane the past couple of years.
Now at least she realizes something is wrong (before it was us who were crazy, not her) and she wants it to go away, but she blames me and says I suck out her soul and steal her feelings and she wants me to give them back and fix it. She is angry at me, and in her mind she thinks I have done horrible things to her. She tells me and her friends that I hate her, that I beat her, that she remembers me kicking her when she was on the ground- that I sent all her friends away, and made all her boyfriends leave her, and that I have even caused her to lose all her jobs.
I have never done any of that- never once told her anything but I love her and want to help her and that I am here for her- I have never beaten her or kicked her- I don’t know where these ideas come from.
And all her friends still love her, and I do talk to them and they all want to help her and want her “back”
I have begged over and over for her to let me take her to see a doctor and she flatly refuses.
So I started calling 911 every time she got out of control, but every time the cops would come, she would quiet down and act fine, and not show them the “triggers” they needed to see- finally one time she knew I had called and she slapped me hard just as they drove up- they took her to jail for battery- which was not what I wanted, but they said this was a start, and they could keep her a few days and have her evaluated – so they did, and the doctor said she DID have some major problems and needed to be in a doctors care.
They tried to put her into a program called “mental health court” – where she would have to go to see a doctor and get on medication and it would be monitored- and she refused to do it- she had to agree to it.
And since the only alternative then was to put her in jail for battery I dropped the charges and they let her go.
Now she says if I ever try to baker act her again she will disappear and I’ll never see her again until they find her in a pool of blood somewhere.
I am so scared she would do just that.
I live in fear every day that I am going to lose my beautiful, wonderful daughter because I can’t make her go get help.
I have been to councilors myself and they all sympathize with me and tell me the saddest person is the parent of a young adult with bipolor or other disorder that they can’t get them to have treatment for. But they also tell me over and over there is nothing I can do since she is an adult.
This is not fair!
I feel like a sword is always hanging over my head.
I am not a young person, I am not crazy, but I am also worried that the stress will cause me to have a heart attack and then I won’t be able to support us all. At least I can help her in that way.
And I keep telling her over and over that I love her and I want to help her.
HOW DO YOU GET THE PERSON WITH THE DISORDER TO ADMIT THEY NEED HELP AND GO TO A DOCTOR AND TAKE MEDICATION AND GET THE HELP THEY NEED SO THEY CAN LIVE????
I feel like my child has a horrible incurable desease and is dying before my eyes and I can’t help and it’s killing me.
I am waiting for a catastrophy to happen any minute- I even pray for one to happen – a small one- not big enough to kill her or other people- just something so I could get her noticed and get her some help.
The crisis center said call them when she slits her wrists.
This is unimaginable torture.
Please tell me what to do. I will try anything.
Some of my friends say if she can clam up and act straight for people sometimes, she is just manipulating me- but I know she can’t maintain the act very long, and I really believe she believes what the demons in her head tell her.
She says all sorts of crazy things- like she had talked to my food- the food I ate when I was young, and it told her that I could control everyone around her- so I control her, and my mother, my sister, my friends, her friends- it’s all my fault because I made them what they are and made them think she is crazy.
I keep horses on my property, and the other night she let them all out- twice!, because I was controlling them and they should be free. We live on a major highway, and thank God there was little traffic that late at night- it could have been a real bad situation, but I got them all back in ok. The second time, I put a chain and lock on the gate.
She takes off in her car- screaming and sobbing. I can’t take her car from her, so I can’t stop her from driving- I can only pray she gets back ok.
The situation has gotten worse, and I don’t know how much longer she can go on this way- or for the matter how much more I can take.
Please give me some advice.
I can’t afford to join your site, I would if I could. I do read everything you send and it all makes sense and lets me see