Hi,
How are you today?
I want to tell you something really funny.
Yesterday I went hiking and got totally lost.
I mean totally lost. Like the kind of lost that I was thinking I was going to be sleeping over and not be able to find my way home.
Luckily I bumped into someone that explained to me how to get home.
Otherwise it would have taken me like 5 more hours and it was raining and getting dark.
The guy that told me how to get home said to me, “I’ve been hiking for many years and sometimes the trail maps are liars.”
I thought that was funny. He then explained how many maps are so old and are passed down even though the trail is completely different today.
If you look at some trail maps, they say go this way and you do and it’s completely wrong and then you are WAY OFF TRACK.
When you are 10 to 20 miles in the woods with nobody around that can be a big problem : )
When I was walking back to my car yesterday, soaking wet, I was thinking about what I was going to write for today’s daily email.
Bipolar disorder is a LIAR!!!
I know that may sound funny to you, as if I’m talking about the disorder like it’s something you
can touch or feel…
As if it’s something outside yourself…
As if it were a person or something that was capable of lying…
But that’s kind of how I look at it.
Because let me tell you…
Bipolar disorder is a LIAR!!!
It is a disorder that tells you that you don’t have it, for one thing.
Think about it –
When you’re loved one is feeling fine…
Like when they were first diagnosed, they may have gone through something called DENIAL.
That’s when the disorder lies and tells them that they don’t have it.
Or when your loved one goes through a manic episode, and they think they’re fine…
Same thing.
DENIAL.
Is it?
Or is it the bipolar disorder lying to them, telling them they’re fine, when they’re really not?
You know they’re sick, in a manic episode, but they don’t know it, because they’re having irrational thoughts because of the disorder.
And what about medication?
You know your loved one needs their medication in order to get better.
Usually, they know it, too.
But sometimes bipolar disorder can LIE to people who have the disorder.
It can tell them that they’re better, and they don’t need their medication!
When, in fact, it’s the medication itself that is making them feel better.
Then they might listen to the lie and go off their medication, and you know how dangerous that can be.
Then they can go into a bipolar episode (or worse) and you’re right back into that cycle of denial again!
Do you see what I’m saying?
How bipolar disorder is a LIAR?
In my courses/systems, I talk about how important it is to know everything there is to know about bipolar disorder so you can be educated, informed, and have knowledge. Now you can see one of the reasons why.
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
Bipolar disorder will lie to your loved one and tell them that they can handle it all by themselves.
That they don’t need anyone else to help them manage their disorder.
But you know that they not only need you, but that they should have a strong support system, including their doctors, family, and friends.
Worst of all, bipolar disorder will lie to your loved one and tell them that they will never get better.
It will tell them that they will always be this way, that there is no hope for them.
And without hope, your loved one can get depressed. Very depressed.
They may even go into a bipolar depressive episode (or worse, even get suicidal), because they feel so helpless and hopeless.
But that is a LIE!!!
There is ALWAYS hope for recovery for someone who has bipolar disorder!
Never give up hope!!!
Can you think of ways that bipolar disorder has lied to you?
What have you done to combat it?
Post responses below
You are telling the TRUTH! The problem lies in what a supporter can do when all this occurs. The denial, the lies, the manipulation,& the worst “don’t talk to me about meds & the doctors,they don’t work anyway”.I have discussed this with him when he is balanced and he says I am the one to know when he is not ok but when he slips the reasoning is gone. The psychiatrist says to let him handle him-not me- but that is easier said than done. This is a tricky and devastating disease. Love your notes each day, though. They do help. I know I am OK as a supporter and love the other comments from supporters. Hope some other BP person or supporter will comment on what they do when the “beast” comes again.
Hi David,
I think you are right, bipolar disorder is a liar, because subectively, we may feel fine, and forget objectively, we have a condition/disease.
Thank You,
April
Hi Dave,
I am Elaine and been diagnosed with biplar. I understand about denial because I have been there. I was in a manic episode and totally in denial about it.
I am a peer support worker with a consumer/survivor organization in my home town. I am divorce, have 2 wonderful boys that live with their dad most of the time and work 2 part time jobs to live. I have lived with bipolar for a few years now and tell my story to clients often.
Thanks for the email. Looking forward to reading more and know that I’m not alone.
Take care,
Elaine
Dear Dave, I just want to thankyou for all that you have done,for all the info.,and insight,your wisdom and caring help,for everyone with bipolar disorder,you have been so much help and without you people would not be able to move foreward!! You have helped me get a real grip on my life!! So God Bless You AND TAKE CARE,RESPECTFULLY,RUSSELL HOOKER JR.& FAMILY!!
What do you know about fish oil and mental illness?
I am trying so hard to understand this disorder,my girlfriend has it and I’m trying hard but I loss it sometimes. I know I should be understanding but some times I’m also haveing a bad day, what bothers me the most is her lack of emotion for other peoples feelings but yet she is all about her feelings. I know I’m not explaining it right but it’s always only about her how can I handle this I love her very much and hope to ask her to marry me but I’m scared. I’m reading a book called I hate u don’t leave me don’t know if u know it but please please I need some advice.
Pam,
The beast is back. After 1 1/2 years of stability I have been thrust into a depressive episode. A 2 month bout with cancer, followed by a hormonally driven month long migraine episode broke down all my defenses. My meds seem to protect me from the manic side of this illness, so I fall into the black hole of suicidal depression.
What do I do? I take my drugs, I drop out of my life, I try to force myself to exercise if there is one shred of motivation in my day. As the pain & fog builds in my head – I drink. My husband always says I’m a cheap date (light weight) so I don’t get rip roaring drunk, but I might find myself start to sip vodka at 10:00 in the morning to numb my feelings, when in a normal week I might have one or two drinks in total. When the depressive oppression gets too strong I lay down on my bed as hours pass and ruminate on whether or not it’s time to commit suicide.
I know that none of this is truly helpful to my fall from wellness, but it’s the best I can do other than wait. One thing I know to be true is that I cannot sustain such powerful emotions for too long and it will eventually pass if I just wait.
I agree that bipolar is a liar, but does the disorder make someone with bipolar a liar? Is lying part of the disorder?
My boyfriend is Bi-polar and Schizophrenic. I have been with him for 4 years and although I love him very much. He has stole from me, lied to me and cheated on me many times. I keep telling myself he will get better but he wont. He has not taken medication for over a year. I have tried but the last straw was on May 17, 2009 when I found out he has been having sex with countless women including prostitutes and when I confronted him, he physically attacked me. Bipolar/Schizophrenic or not, I deserve better than this. I am a good woman and he doesnt appreciate me at all. I am not going to subject myself to beatings or disease because he is sick and doesnt want to change. I honestly feel he is hopeless.
Looking at Bipolar Disorder as a separate entity, seems to me to be giving it MORE power than it already has. However, I have started that “exercise,” deeming it “the monster” so that I can differentiate it from the normal emotions I have, and ones that crop up from the bipolar.
I can “sometimes” tell when I’m getting hypomanic by the “monster” MAKING me stay up late and not getting my needed sleep; by eating sporadically and NOT nutritously; by having “mild” religious delusions (like praying at stoplights!); and rambling on to my boyfriend like a chirping bird. When I feel ANY of these disturbances into my recovery, I TRY to “turn them OFF” and watch what time I hit the bed to sleep; go back to a healthy diet; STOP reading my Bible excessively; and being told, in no uncertain terms by my boyfriend, to SHUT UP!!
“Recovery” is an on-going state for me, as I have no live-in supporter on a 24/7 basis. I HAVE to be able to recognize the “symptoms” and how serioius they are, or can be, in order to postpone any damage from the “monster.”
Sometimes, it isn’t easy to recognize subtle differences in my mood that would lead to hypomania, for ANY ONE, the survivor OR the Supporter. Once it goes too long, I find it difficult to get back to “normal,” and realize it’s time to contact my mental health professional for help.
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors and those who love us. May God bless you real good. I pray for my country.
Karen,
I can respond to your question in terms of giving some information and references about the diagnosis of bipolar disorder.
Mental disorders are categorized by the American Psychitaric Association. There are, nearly a dozen different categories. Each distinct diagnosis falls into one of these dozen or so categories.
Just for the sake of an example, the APA established a category of mental disorders called “Anxiety Disorders,” and one of the specific diagnoses that falls into that category is “Social Anxiety Disorder.”
Another category is “Psychotic Disorders,” and the specific diagnosis of “Schizophrenia” is classified within that general category.
In order to be as objective as possible in responding to your question, I’m building my response first upon how clinicians identify and describe Bipolar Disorder.
Bipolar Disorder falls into the APA’s general category of “Affective Disorders.” The word “Affective” means “mood,” so all diagnoses in this category cause symptoms related to abnormal or unstable emotions. In most cases, clinicians attribute this mood disturbance, at least in part, to neurochemical dysfunction.
The ADA established another category of mental illness called “Personality Disorders.” In this group they include, among others, “Antisocial Personality Disorder,” “Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” and “Dependent Personality Disorder.”
People who have Personality Disorders have developed fixed patterns of behavior which are harmful to themselves and/or others. Personality Disorders suggest a fundamental flaw in social and emotional development, not simply ocassional acting out or inconsiderate behavior.
Those with these diagnoses are believed to have lacked the type of nurturing or social development to develop necessary insight, empathy, or general self-awareness.
For example, a person who has Antisocial Personality Disorder will lie, but he or she lies out of a total disregard for others, a need to feel powerful, or a lack of ability to understand how his lie will affect anyone else.
So, the first good news is that a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder does not indicate that, as a mood disorder, the person who has it, lies. Lying is not a clinically-established symptom of this illness.
I offer this caveat, Karen. I realize you do not know who I am, and I don’t automatically expect you to believe I know what I am talking about. I have done a great deal of study on this topic, and I also have a significant amout of reltated personal experience.
But you do not know that, so I encourage you to check official sources of this kind of information, and you might like to check the DSM V, which explains everything I’ve said very clearly, while including extensive references.
That said, I am not saying that in the case of a person you know, that that individual person has not lied, or that they do not have a pattern of lying.
All of us have a complex and unique personality, whether we have bipolar disorder or not. It is possible that any person, with/without bipolar disorder, has a flaw in his or her personality which makes them prone to telling lies.
I do not mean to confuse “having a flaw in one’s personality” with having a Personality Disorder.
I have a “flaw in my personality” that sometimes causes me to agree with everyone, because I want them to like me.
If I had a Personality Disorder, I might care so little about what anyone else thinks about me that I would verbally abuse them. If this sort of behavior was normal for me, then it could be an illness.
It is possible that someone with Bipolar Disorder could lie to you. If I, who also has Bipolar Disorder, always tended towards lying to other people, I would continue to lie to other people regardless of the condition, and irrespective of the severity of my symptoms.
In fact, any undesirable habits and patterns would generally continue. Having Bipolar Disorder doesn’t erase an underlying personality.
If, I, as a person with this diagnosis, did tend to lie when I was feeling well, then it’s also possible that when I become intensely symptomatic, I will lie more often, that the types of lies I tell will change, or that some general pattern I have will change.
I think of a person whom I might ordinarily think of as cranky. Most of the time, that’s how he is. He grumbles a lot, and often he’s very hard to please.
Then I imagine this same person suddenly gets a very bad headache. The headache sends him over the edge. He’s gone from grumpy to insufferable. So his symptoms made his usual bad attitude worse, but it didn’t change his personality.
One more factor I can think of on the subject of Bipolar Disorder and its relationship to telling the truth/lying.
Bipolar symptoms can affect a person’s thinking to the extent that the person is truly delusional. By definition, a delusion is a false belief, but it is a false belief which the patient completely, 100% believes to be true.
For example, if I were in a delusional state, I might believe someone else was going to hurt me. I might be so absolutely convinced that what I believe is true that I call the police, and I tell them someone is going to hurt me, and they come to my home.
The police get there. I can see they do not believe I am telling them the truth.
In this situation, am I lying?
If I’m colorblind, I see red where you see green. If I tell you I see red, am I trying to pull one over on you?
There are (hopefully brief), and (hopefully infrequent) episodes during which someone with bipolar disorder is so symptomatic that they’re essentially “cognitively colorblind.” So yes, they will say things that are untrue, but they will say those things because they cannot determine what is true or false.
So there many factors, and your question is broad. It deserves a lot more additional thought.
But people with Bipolar Disorder, are not “clinically proven” to be liars. If you see undesirable behaviors, those behaviors might well be influenced by symptoms (like the grumpy guy is affected by his headache), but they are not “caused” by this condition. Deceptive behavior is not the halmark of Bipolar Disorder.
It’s all good news, I think, Karen!
All of us has the power to change behavior we would like to improve…if I were prone to lying, I’d rather it be a bad habit than an ingrained characteristic of an illness over which I had no control!
Again, check up on me. I don’t expect anyone to take my word. I’m just a person sending some info your way! Just hoping this gives you a beginning in answering your question.
J
Dear Dave,
Thanks for all the information you are sending me everytime.
Yes, it is true. Bipolar is a liar. When my husband gets into his manic episode and you confront him with it, he always tells me that he is fine and that he is not sick. So what I try to do, is to let him take his lithium & serotonine bloodtest every 3 months. I also keep notes for myself about what is happening in his life, things and situations that might trigger, when he starts to act strange and when his medicine is changed by the doctor and how he reacts on the medicine. I do all this, because I don’t get any support from his own family. I also have to make sure that he takes his meds everyday at the same time. I have an idea now what his lithium and serotonine level should be. If he is in his episode, I show him the testresult that his level is too low and that he is not himself so he can believe me and will know that he needs to go to the doctor. I try my best to look for ways that he can go and see the doctor. I don’t always succeed, but this had helped me last year and the year before.
What I don’t do is contradict him, because then he’ll get angry and might become violent to. I try to stay calm, which is very difficult and hard for me. I often feel like giving up, but I try not to.
What I have learnt from one of your letters is to stay positive and keep smiling. I have to work on that now.
Dear Dave et al, My name is Lynn and I’m a recovering alcoholic. I also live w/Bipolar II, one day @ a time! My bipolar illness lies to me, when I get depressed, and soon after, the thots come of possibly OD’ing again. I’m in good control now, on 3 meds, am caught up w/my doc, and seeing both my therapist and A.A. sponsor, regularly. Just don’t wanna forget where my disease can take me, if I ignore such possibilities. Thanks for letting me share.
Dave;
The Genocidal Cult, which calls itself “psychiatry”
They are the LIARS, & You little one. As for ANT to believe ANYTHING “psychiatric” they would NEED an IQ under 15.
“psychiatry” IS the Greatest Fraud on Earth.
The Fact it is Fraud is the worst kept secret on Earth.
Open your eyes People PLEASE.
Sorry;
Though you need to ALL pray for your Country.
For the Genocidal Cult which calls itself psychiatry has its’ greatest grip on America, check the Statistics, History, Medical and ALL Science.
ALL Science PROVES ALL “psychiactric Therapies” Cause Brain Damage, which is PROVEN Manifests itself in ALL that reported in the everchanging DSM.
ALL that is PROVEN about “psychiatry” PROVES “psychiatry” to BE THE CAUSE of ongoing ever worsening MENTAL ILLNESS.
“psychiatry MUST end.
I prepose a World Wide Class action to end “psychiatry.”
All For?
David,
On a few occasions, including this one, you have described bipolar disorder as involving something tangible “as if it’s something outside of yourself” or “as if it were a person or something that was capable of lying.” Psychologically, this is not far fetched at all. For over 30 years, as a psychologist, I have worked with the psychological concept of the “Judge” or “Inner Terrorist.” Several of my clients have described their “Judge” as an ENTITY that has a visual image and conveys different verbal judgmental messages such as, “you’re worthless,” “you’re not good enough,” “you’re not loveable,” etc. When a person is stressed, their psychological “Judge” inflates like a balloon and attacks their “Inner Child” with threats of doom, intimidation, and manipulation in an inner power struggle. Low self-esteem, deep depression, and suicidal thoughts and impulses can be triggered. These are real psychological and emotional reactions that require strong intervention and need to be taken seriously. For many people who have been given a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, it is possible to access their “Judge” and identify its picture or image so that the person can learn to desensitize their intense stress reaction to the “Judge” image and its destructive messages. I refer to this process as Shrinking the “Judge” that leads to much greater awareness and inner control over this dark destructive side of human nature. However, there are some individuals who have been so severely abused and traumatized that, trying to learn to cope with their “Judge” and “Shrinking” it, is too overwhelming. Such individuals will need more intense treatment and may need medication in order to cope. Nevertheless, your information about supporting the person with these psychological problems is still applicable when stress precipitates a crisis — either a suicidal depression or a manic episode. Experiencing a “Judge” attack can be terrifying and overwhelming. But, just becoming aware that there is a powerful psychological entity like the “Judge” or “Inner Terrorist” can be very helpful to many individuals who have been given a diagnosis of bipolar disorder or their supporters. The “Judge” constantly lies and distorts reality in order to gain psychological control and maintain control over the person’s life in the most destructive ways. For more information about the nature of the “Judge”, see my web site http://www.malterinstitute.org. On several occasions, this information was presented at conferences of the American Psychological Association.
Rick Malter, Ph.D.
Retired Clinical Psychologist
rickmind@cableone.net
dear Dave i just wanted to thank you for the help and the site itself keep up the good work dont have a comment on all the lies the bipolar has wreaked in our life as yet but sure one will be fourthcomeing shortly
David, you are so right about bipolar disorder being a liar. My mom has bipolar and everything you are saying is true. The disorder makes her lie too to us, to the dr, and sadly to herself. She at one time told me that she was “fine” and did not need her meds. She could handle the illness and she was fine. In her last episode we think she may not have been taking some of the meds. She also lied to her dr and then told us that the dosages were being lowered or dropped. Needless to say this episode caused her to be hospitalized twice for three weeks in a 6 week period. Thanks so much for what you do. You get me through some pretty rough times with my mom. You are a Godsend.
David –
My wife has bi-polar and recently changed meds (from Lithium to a new one that (I apologize but I do not remember the name) is supposed to help but leave her with more energy. Her energy level has gone up – as she gets up early, stays up late, but, just as important, she has become very irritable, obsessed with making our kids keep the house thoroughly clean – and taking it personally when they do not. She rarely seems happy and relaxed and when she does, it does not last long. She says she is taking her medication and that it is working very well – and that her reactons are just normal reactions to how our kids (and me, sometimes, as well) are treating her. They notice the difference, however, as do I. I am going to try to get an appointment with her psychiatrist today – but am otherwise at a loss as to how I can get through to her that she is just not right. Any comments you can provide will be most appreciated.