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Hi,
Hope you are doing well.
This is funny, I was briefly
at a Christmas party yesterday.
I want to talk about an important
lesson with bipolar disorder. First
I want to tell you a funny Christmas
party story.
There were a bunch of people there.
There was this little girl and she
said something to me like, “I can’t
believe you just started using an
ipod.”
An ipod is like this thing that holds
a bunch of music on it. It’s a bigger
cd player.
I was like, “Well I might not have known
how cool ipods were but I know lots of
other stuff.”
She goes, “Yea, I do too.” She said I have
a question for you. I said, “oh,
yea?” So she asked what Hanna Montana
is?
I heard hear of this person and wasn’t sure
what she was. So I was like, “Darn, umm well,
she is a singer.” The girl laughed at me
and said she is a children’s show on the
Disney Channel. She sounded like a game
show contestant.
So then I was like, “oh yea, what’s autism?”
So she told me it was an illness that a person
has problems interacting with people socially.
WOW? I was amazed. I said, “how did you know
what Autism was?” She said, “Because I am smart.”
I thought her response was sooooooo funny. Anyway,
decided that I shouldn’t “play quiz” with
her anymore because I would look like a fool because
she was “smart” and 11 years old.
I guess she must be in like “gifted program”
or something. Her mom said, “yea, she is really
smart.”
Anyway, I have an important lesson on bipolar disorder
to tell you today.
I don’t know if I’m the only one,
but have you noticed all the Christmas
decorations out this year? It’s not just
the sheer numbers, although there is
that, but they seem to be in the oddest
places, too!
I just know that this isn’t the way it
was meant to be. I remember when it
was just a simple family occasion,
maybe a decorated tree, a family
dinner, maybe a few gifts, but
certainly not the all-out free-for-
all commercialized materialistic
Christmas-ized holiday that it is
today, don’t you agree?
I’m only a supporter, and *I* feel
overwhelmed when I step outside
my door and am confronted by all
the lights around me, everywhere
I look! I just can’t imaging how
someone with bipolar disorder
must be feeling.
In my courses, I talk about handling
stress in a variety of ways:
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
You would think that getting together
with family at the holidays would be
all happy and jolly – at least that’s
what all the stores and commercials
on TV want us to believe – but for
some people who have bipolar disorder
and their supporters, well, it can be
very stressful.
For some, just being around so many
people at the same time is very
stressful. Just the sheer amount of
family can do it for some!
The volume of being around so many
people at the same time can do it for
others! Have you ever noticed that?
It seems like everyone has to talk at
the same time, while the TV is turned
up way loud to hear the football game.
Oh, the obligation of it all! Don’t you
sometimes wish you didn’t have to go
through it? I have to confess that I do.
But then I came up with a truly great
revelation. Where does it say in the
Christmas Rule Book that you have to
visit every relative, go to every family
affair, put up with all the loud noise,
be around people you really don’t like,
etc., etc.?
I don’t know about you, but it certainly
doesn’t say it in MY Christmas Rule
Book! So I think this year, I am only
going to go to those affairs I really
want to, those that won’t stress me out,
those I’ll really enjoy…AND SKIP
THE REST!
What about you? Do you think this
Is a revolutionary idea? Or are you
going to do the same thing?
Your friend,
Dave
–
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
Yes i do agree, I think everyone should save there money and take a vaction. I have a friend that hates christmas and they spiral down heel every year. I use to love christmas, but since being with him christmas is not fun anymore. It’s all the stress of family and having to be obligated to be some where.
I do agree with you about the Xmas thing…but…sometimes, out of loyalty, you have to put up with a lot of nonsence from different people. I have two siblings, who do not get along, but, me, being the parent…I have to make it appear as if I am on both their sides. I make sure I do not react to their outbursts…I had a parent who was bipolor, a brother who is bipolor, and now a daughter who is also bipolor. Sometimes, I feel as if I am trapped somewhere in the middle.
I totally agree with you, Dave. I’m “rewriting” our Christmas “RULEBOOK” this year. Do what you’re COMFORTABLE with. Not only that, I’ve decided that everyone is getting handcreated items from me. Something from the HEART. I’ll do something more commercial for the birthdays.
OH Dave–
Last Christmas I decided I’d had enough and left town !!! Now I left to spend Christmas with my other daughter and her b’friend and get ot know his family as they’re pretty serious about each other.
It was wonderful !!! They were on their best behavior with someone new in their midst. I didn’t have to put up with the usual family drams, but had a family dinner later on.
I have a younger brother who truly gets off on being obnoxious and using subtle digs nonstop. I like my older brother, my 91 year old dad.. but oh man that younger brother !!?!?!?
I invited my bipolar daughter to come and she literally disappeared the night before and didn’t come home in time to go. Now, she’s 28 and i’d just about had it with her thinking her problems were all drug and alcohol related. She had also told me before hand she had things planned for every day i was gone.
Well they all fell through and it finally got to the point where she couldn’t hide the fact that something was very very wrong when she was dead sober.
So this Christmas is the one year anniversary of her decent into a year of hell on pretty much every level.
She is adamant she will not go out of state with me. We’re in WI and I’ll be going to MN.
Friday my MN daughter said, “Mom if she’s too fragile for the trip, please don’t make her come. I do NOT want a major scene here where I’ve created a positive, mostly drama-free life.
So, of course i woke up and shook myself… why in the world would i do something as foolish as push an unmedicated, very much on edge, severely depressed person to go into an unknown situation.
Well, in my defense, i thought getting out of town, away from any family involvement would be a “celebrating the holiday differently” and find the joy in Christmas for her.
Like I get to decide that.
Saturday she finally agreed to talk with her psychiatrist about going back on an anti-depressant.
By Monday I expect she’ll square her shoulders and be in the “I can do it naturally” mode.
Help. I’m sure this has been long enough, most will have not read it; but for those of you who do.
Especially bipolar folk… I’m really afraid to leave her alone; I also accept I can’t “Make” her go with me.
Suggestions ?? And no, there really isn’t a “real” support persopn other than me… and yes, Dave after a year i’m so aware that’s not good. Being mom of a 29 year old, there’s only so much I can do. Present options; leave information where she might see it, but not obviously.
Any ideas ?
Betsy
I know what you mean about how Christmas has changed. When I was little some houses might have a string of lights in their front window but not like now. Neighbors have contests over who can outdo who. Christmas morning involved seeing if “Santa” left me the Barbie doll I wanted not some $300.00 or $400.00 worth of computer games that the kids won’t get much worthwhile out of. For Christmas all I want is family getting together and enjoying each other’s company without any bi-polar episodes out of my brother. I try to keep him just around me because he knows too many people is just asking for trouble.
Betsy,
Maybe there’s another sibling or friend of yours who can act as a check-point between you and your 29 year old during your absence. You could make it so your daughter doesn’t even know she’s being “monitored”. Maybe your friend could be a neighbor who has no family for the holidays. You could tell your daughter you are concerned about said neighbor and ask her stop by and delivery a package or a pie (whatever) you have prepared for the neighbor on Christmas eve or day. Then call the neighbor and just ask how your daughter looked to her. Did she stay and visit a bit? The neighbor doesn’t even have to know what’s up. Whenever you have to be away you could use this tactic of giving your daughter some “errands” to do for you. Of course, she may likely fail to complete them if that is her general pattern. But that would give you some information in itself as well. I hope this idea helps you in some way or gives you other ideas which may work better for your situation.
I agree with you completely. I have quit the obligation game. I subscribed to your blog quite a while ago and I think I have read everything you have sent me.
I want you to know how much I appreciate reading of your experiences and wisdom.
I was rased by a bipolar mother. I am currently 44 years old and have never seen her stabalized despite her multitude of medications and therapists.
Needless to say, to be a part of her life has proven to be impossible and we have not been a part of each other’s lives for more than five years. However I have a co-worker who is also bipolar and I have to learn how to deal with her. I have tried many things and followed your teachings.
Her biggest thrill is ganging up on people by manipulating others into trianglations to victimize someone…. -anyone. She always has a target she is victimizing. The co-workers she is currently not targeting appear to jump on her bandwagon (even though they had been a previous target)and just seem to be greatful she is not after them at the moment. It is very sick and co-dependent. It is a very viscious cycle of disfunction. Unfortunately I seem to be the only one who is seeing the disfunction for what it is. The rest of the co-workers are to worried about staying out of her bullseye and helping her to target someone other than themselves. It is KAOS!
I know this behavior in the workplace makes for harrassment and a hostile work evironment and in the legal sense. The director of our program is aware of this co-worker’s behaviors but is apparently a bipolar supporter and keeps making concessions and behavioral directions trying to difuse her wrath.
This bipolar person is considered stabalized and working herself as a Counselor. The work enviornment I have been describing consists of Counselors who are supposed to be helping patients with similar disfunctions.
At what point would you suggest supporting a bipolar person is no longer healthy for the supporters?
right, very good, revolution forever and for our retire for ever and ever
Hi Dave,letting you know your doing
a great job.Really tariffic!
I agree with you,xmas is to commertionalizd. People forget what
it really is all about.It’s the
giving of yourself to all you meet,
not just family.It’s not all about
the gifts of material things.
I will spend the day with me and my
grandkids on the phone. Before that
I will get with friends. My bypolar
frind is drinking real hard for wks now, I won’t be around him, I
will put his xmas gift in his mail
box. The gift I wish I could give
him is sobriety, then he could get
back on his meds and control his
bypolar disorder. He used to be a
well paid poet by Hallmark.Now all
he does is wait on his Mistress
booze. Its been years he’s catered
to her, so it would take a mirical
to reverse all the damage he’s
allowed. I hope only the best for
him and others in the same boat.
For you, I hope you take the day
and relax with family,you have more
then earned it.
Have a great xmas day,Dave.
Blessings n Hugs,Alexa
well.I totally love Christmas but not the crowds and I am bi-polar. My family a long time ago started having our celebrations on New Years Day, after all the hustle and bustle of Christmas…and found it worked out great! As I am now living in Kuwait…I’ve chosen to spend Christmas alone and am looking forward to that.
Happy Christmas to everyone!!
I am not looking forward to Christmas, eventhough I can not let on that that is how I feel.
This past year has been hell for my family, my 17 yr old nephew was killed on the train tracks last Hallowe’en night, and my father who was very ill all year passed away in June.
The fallout from these tragedies has morphed into an all out family feud, like I have never seen. My mother (who is ill but refuses to acknowledge it) has alienated herself from everyone but one grand daughter(who is bi-polar and then some). There is mental illness on both sides of my and my husband’s side, and my kids have both been hospitalized more than once this past year for bi-polar episodes and clinical depression. Both have had suicidal thoughts for much of this past year.
Last Christmas things were bad enough, with my father’s illness and my kids recent diagnosis. This year, with most of the extended family not speaking to each other, it is inevidable that we will likely be alone for most of the holidays.
The kids have always known Christmas with a huge gathering of family. We now look forward to my first Christmas without both of my parents, and my kids’ first Christmas without the cousins, aunts, etc.
How do I manage to turn things around this year, and make this coming holiday, a blessing and a much needed break for my family?
I’m not giving up on finding an answer, I’m just hoping there is one.
I have been practicing this method in all areas of life.
Social obligations are dumb.
Life is too short.
One day I will have the dough to go to Mexico or somewhere else hot and sunny over x-mas. The lights are gorgeous but the rest is overwhelming, and I am the supporter.
Well, Dave, I brought THIS stressful trip on MYSELF. I am flying tomorrow from VA to TX to celebrate my biological mother’s 82nd birthday on December 12. I will be there, at my brother’s, from Monday to Friday, when I fly back to VA.
There have been sooso many upsets in the planning of this trip. My brother didn’t want me staying in Austin, as it was 15 miles away, and I would be driving at night in unfamiliar territory. He suggested I rent a cabin on the Lake a couple minutes from where he lives. I made all the arrangements in OCTOBER and thought everything was taken care of.
Last Tuesday, he writes that my sister-in-law thinks it’s dangerous to be in such an isolated place, so I have to cancel THAT reservation, and make reservations at a $200/night hotel close to my brother’s! That is QUITE a jump from the $40/night cabin!!
Then, he tells me neither he nor his wife can pick me up at the airport, and I will have to take a van to his house! I was REALLY disappointed that no one would meet me; they said they had a sub-compact car, and didn’t like driving “in the big city.” So – I have to rent a car when I get there, as both my brother, and sister-in-law work during the day, and I need the freedom of not having them transport me everywhere.
As if THAT wasn’t enough – my brother called me Wednesday and said our Aunt had died Tuesday night, and he has to fly to Chicago for the funeral! Fortunately, this won’t curb my trip.
Finally, I developed asthmatic bronchitis last Monday. My very LUNGS hurt, front and back, and I was wheezing and coughing, so went to the doctor for X-rays and an inhalant and antibiotics. I’m STILL not over “what ails me,” but I’m good enough to go…
All these changes in my routine were brought about my OUTSIDE influences, even my bronchitis. I didn’t bring it on myself. Also, my boyfriend said wrapped packages couldn’t go through screening, so I have to wrap them when I get there. He solved THAT problem by having me use gift bags!
I’m feeling a little hypomanic right now; just hope I don’t “flip out” tomorrow, or the rest of the trip. We have to get up at 4AM to leave here by 6 to get to Dulles. Fortunately, my boyfriend is a GREAT driver, and I’ll have the 3 hour drive to relax.
All is packed except for the last-minute hair curlers, make-up, and meds. At least I started packing Thursday night!
Wish me luck on my journey – it should be “quite a ride!”
BIG HUGS to all bipolar survivors, and those who love them. My prayers are with you; stay sane!!
I’m with you Dave.
In fact I’ve already opted out of one this year; to much stress on my marital relationship and myself.
ALthough I felt like a real “schelp” in doing so.
LOri
Hi I am Nae and I am Bipolar and when I read this OMG it is so true! I am so glad to hear those words come out of your mouth or you pen….LOL I get so stressed out and it is not a very happy occasion for me at all. But I am gonna try what you said and see what happens heck I would be happy just staying home with the kids all Christmas Day but I am from the south and so much is expected of you on the Christmas Holiday really too much. So Thank you and I am gonna try it your way. Happy Holidays. Luv Nae
Oh, Dave, I agree with you totally on this one. Holidays don’t need to have rushing around involved.
I will tell you what I want to do –
I will just get a real Christmas tree, decorate it a bit, light some candles in it and sit back and enjoy! Will listen to some Christmas music with about 3 more people after church or maybe we’ll sing ourselves instead.We’ll have a simple meal and gingerbreads, and tangerines.Cool.Might spend some time in the forest as well, go for a walk.
If you think of it, all those multitudes of Christmas lights use up so much energy!
I prefer walking along a snowy street on Christmas eve and looking at the snow illuminated by the light coming through windows of cosy kitchens and living rooms.
It is not a bad idea to decorate fence posts or lamp posts in the street with ribbons etc instead of too many chains of lights everywhere.I have seen it in some countries and I think it looks joyful and peaceful and Christmasey
This is so good Dave. Your timing is good. My husband is currently depressed do I’m doing most things around the house. I’m working full time and among other things, stressing about putting up Christmas lights. I had an “aha” moment. If I don’t get the the lights out & put them up, I won’t have to put them away in January! I have a lighted wreath on the door and I think I’ll just put some of those lighted candles in a couple windows.
I am also learning NOT to do things I don’t want to do. We had a Christmas party we could’ve(should’ve) gone to tonight, but my husband didn’t want to. I figured, “why fight it!” So we didnt’ go and I have a quiet evening at home. Very nice.
I agree with you,Dave, and that´s why We,my family and me, were planning to travel and be in Villa Gesell, a little town by the see in Argentina.Don´t forget that here is summer. We think that being there for christmas would be great for us, specially for my son,who is bipolar. I hope so. We decided to be in Villa Gesell in december because this place is really quit.
I whish you all Merry Christmas!!!
Cristina from Argentina
Your just to kewl! Like your attitude and if you feel a little
crazed, take slow deep breaths…
you’ll be fine..
Have a great time!
Hugs,Alexa
I have never been a family woman and, though married twice, have no children. When I was a child Christmas was magical, but asap I found out that there was no Santa Clause it was never the same again. When I was married I loved Christmas. I loved all the trimmings and traditions of putting up decorations and cooking Christmas Dinner. It was slightly unconventional that we had people going in and out of our house all day. My stepdaughters usually spent the few days at their mother’s and what I probably really liked was having my husband to myself just once a year. We had friends and neighbours popping in and enough food and drink for them.
My mother always made a big thing of having all sorts of relatives at her table just because they’re relatives and made a great deal of fuss. I can’t be doing with this.
However, this year is not going to be the greatest fun. My ex-husband is staying with his daughters and my new bipolar man is having an episode with an ex-girlfriend. My housemates will be with their families, so it looks like it’ll just be me and my cat. I’m not bipolar but I’m feeling a fair bit depressed and lonely just recently. In contrast to my ex-husband he is not family-minded, most of his family (grown up children and siblings) don’t want to know him because of his bipolar condition, though he is a lovely man. Most of his friends are bipolar or have even more serious mental problems. With a bit of luck he may just snap out of it in time. He has done it before and we have only known each other 8 months. We can make each other laugh and usually cheer each other up, while the woman he has gone off with now is very negative and not good for him. He usually goes into a ‘down’ mood after he has spent some time with her. She is not bipolar, but is diabetic, smokes dope and often forgets to take her medicine (and gets him to forget his), which makes her have terrible moods and tantrums. He has just got himself a job (the fourth since I’ve known him) which I hope will keep him down to earth. He has already been acting strangely all week. Thursday night he sent me a lot of loving and later, naughty texts and said he would see me at the weekend, but I haven’t heard from him since. I never know where I stand with him and it does my head in. I’m going through a lot of upheavals at present with my ex-husband, a recent house move and pre-menopausal depression. It would be helpful to have a bit of support and TLC from the man I love. Thank goodness my little cat is with me now.
Hi, I do agree with you, sort of. I know it is very stressful at this time of year. What I have done is set a time for our meal and who ever can come, great. That way there is no pressure on them to be here at a certain time. That is what microwaves are for. Merry Christmas
when i fould your web site ,i thought great and read your story even better,but than moving down the pages all it was ,was please send money .all the things to make my partner feel ,it can get easyer living with me .but please send money .sorry that not easy
Most definitly will keep Christmas very low key,don’t even have any plans as of yet.Hope I won’t be all alone but who knows? Maybe will continue later not feeling so well.
Hi Dave, I have only my kids, I do not know my father, and my mom left me when i was 11. I did however overdraft 21 times, it was a lil stressfull. I have another interview with U C Berkely on tuesday, I am not stable yet, I will try to get through it being the best actress I can be. The last interview there was terrible. I was with the same company so long every time I had a panel interview, I knew at least three people on the panel.I like Christmas, I made the only family I have so fa la la la la la la la la. Thanks Dave! Karen
Yes I do agree. I have come to really hate the season. The true meaning of Christmas has been lost for years. I seem to have no Christmas spirit whatsoever and it just annoys me to see how much more Christmas is commercialized from year to year. Maybe it is because I suffer from Bipolar disorder but it seems that I like the holiday season less and less every year.
Sometimes you have got to be around people you don’t care much for in order to be with the people that you want to be with. When I go to my moms house Christmas I know there will be people there that I don’t want to see, and some that my husband can’t stand to even look at, but mom wants the family to all be together. I don’t think my mom and dad has many Christmas left and I don’t want to miss any of them. So I’ll go and try to stay away from certain people although they seem to insist on getting right up in my face.
I do agree with you.As my husband’s Bipolar Disorder started with his niece engagement.All the money wasted on decoration,showing off to other people and going over buget really made him mad at the world.When one cannot afford and other throw off his money,it is not fair.i used to enjoy every festival and mariage but know it is very stressful.
It would be a great idea. here is what happened to me. I didn’t attened an easter event. easter was on my birthday one year and i didn’t want to go. I showed up alone because my wife was pissed at me and she kept the kids with her. I was treated like you know what. So now I attend every family function no matter how bad i am doing or how bad i will suffer afterward. Deos not seem right but i would rather go and deal with what ever happens to me then ever be treated like that again. i have bloged befor that that i have no real family support but my wife is starting to come around a little. One time i forward her some of Daves daily emails and she told me to never forward her that crap again. Mary Christmas everyone. Paul
I’m 64 and always remember the holiday season as being a huge deal in terms of lights. The only difference between when I was a kid and today is technology, which makes more lights and other decorations available.
Given that I am not Christian (and don’t think I risk going to everlasting hell no matter what some people might think), I view the holiday season as a fabulous artistic venture. I mean! How lucky are we to see so much beauty? And then there’s candy!
Many other countries celebrate color year around, but in the US, that seems reserved just for December. There is a push for lighting and decorations in other months and I say “go for it.” (Halloween, for example, is really picking up the color-slack.)
I’ve also hosted many family dinner and thoroughly understand the whole family and friend dynamic. Part is great and part is really stressful to, quite possibly, down-right awful. Doesn’t that sound bi-polar? Well, it is. Suck it up!
What to do? Like with anything of value, enjoy the “joy.” Keep a diary of everything that makes you happy. When you talk to people, tell them what worked! Talk about how pretty people looked and which kids made you laugh.
If you don’t have a family, practice greeting people you meet in various public places (and keep it up year-around). Be joyful because you receive what you give. That is the greatest gift of all.
Hello, I am Sarah and this is the first time I have posted at this site. I just read all the posts, and I must say, interesting, the one aspect I see is the ‘stress’ experienced by each blogger. Obviously ‘life’ in general is stressful. The best thing you can do for yourself, and others is to bring the stress level in your life to a minimum! Everyone has the ability to limit stress in there day to day life. We just have to learn to say, no, bow out of some invitations we ‘feel’ we NEED to attend….when in reality, life will go on, and our absence will not likely have TOO much effect on the actual LIFE of the party. It’s okay to say no….it’s okay to take care of YOURSELF! It’s also okay to ENJOY the type of Christmas celebration you desire, wether it is filled with family and friends, or spent quietly, relaxing in what ever manner you prefer. The thing is….if you don’t take charge of your own life, let others know what YOU need, then it become’s like a snow ball rolling down hill, gathering more snow as it decends……until ultimately it crashes….ya know? So, we can either let others know what we need and how we feel….or we can do things we honestly don’t desire to do and be miserable, thus making others around us, miserable also…..and we do….and we know it…..and that causes guilt, resentment….and finaly regret, which only leads to depression upon depression. NO ONE person is responsible for the complete happiness of another person….happiness comes from within…..each individual is responsible for there own happiness and well being….so do…enjoy the Christmas holidays….wish everyone you meet with a Happy holiday celebration…and then, set out to enjoy your own….what ever that might be….it’s OKAY!
God, it was so nice to see my own thoughts in black and white. I too find this years holiday season very stressful. There is so much pressure getting the kids some gifts, and they want things they dont need. I just want to hide away from it all, and I am NOT bipolar, however, my daughter is, and she stopped taking her meds a couple weeks ago. This is my main stressor this year. We saw in the past what happend when she quit taking them, and now I worry about what is to come. She had me make her a Dr. appt, but has since told me to cancel it, I sent her an email saying its important to her and I am not going to cancel it, so she will probably be angry at me for that. But I am afraid its a chance I have to take. I am willing to pick her up if she needs, and even buy her meds for her. I can tell in her emails, that her mood is not as stable as it was, and we know what that means. I dread to see what this season is going to do to her.
Thanks for listening.
from, Eddi.
Little views You have it all down
as to what works for you…
fantastic !
Have a great Holiday time…
Hugs,Charly
Paul,your not a lone.You have all of us here and Dave. Read one of his e-mails or one of the letters
that is a positive when your down.
Or just need a lift. As a supporter
of a friend that is severly bypolar
it helps me a lot.
Have a great holiday time.
Hugs,Alexa
Why does this holiday season seem so stressful? Don’t know. But I am definitely find myself scaling back to the things I enjoy. Luckily I have the long-standing habit of collecting little Xmas gifts throughout the year, so can mostly avoid the Xmas rush. (see my blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com/blog_pamphyila.html
My husband and I spent a lovely afternoon playing Santa & Mrs. Claus at the Channel Islands Harbor celebration. The children are what it’s all about. My father used to say it was for them exclusively, which I don’t entirely agree with – but we can avoid the “Martha Stewart” guilt of not going over the top – and try to re-create happy Xmases past….and do our mental health a favor, too…
Paul,
How sad that your wife is so closed minded and won’t even read the information you email her.Some day she may regret not trying to understand how to work with you to help you deal with this disorder. I also have been diagnosed with bipolar and adhd and am a recovering meth addict(almost 6 months with 1 relapse)and want you to know that you are not alone!! Will be thinking about you and praying for you!
i guess i’ll be doing the same ol’ thing as always….going to everyone’s house and thinking the whole time how to dig a hole fast enough to bury myself in…it’s not that i hate my family….well yeah i do…but it’s because i try to explain to them what’s going on with me and they act like they don’t get it or they don’t care….i’m tired of explaining things to people…if they really cared enough you would think that they would find ways to understand more or at least read up on the subject…it’s not fair…i hate the holidays but it’s basicly the only time i get to send with my 2 older kids…well anyways enough of that…take care and if i don’t get back on here before Christmas everyone be safe and enjoy….God Bless
On Thanksgiving my new boyfriend and I were expected to go to his sister’s house for the “big” celebration. We decided not to. We had a great time, just the 2 of us. I’m not sure about Christmas yet. But I do know that if we decide or if I decide that I can’t do it, I or we won’t again. I am the one with BP. I know that we don’t have to go everywhere and be with everyone. There is no rule and there is no law. And if more people were actually honest with themselves they would realize how crazy all of the entertaining and expectations are. We have to take care of ourselves. I have three children that I have to be there for. I have a boyfriend who I have to be there for. After that, everthing else is just extra. If I can do it and handle it, fine. If I can’t, I know that my boyfriend will understand and go without me or maybe spend the day with me. I don’t know. I can’t say yet. I won’t know until the time gets here. Only then will I know how I am actually feeling that day. Will I want noise?? Lots of people?? Only time will tell.
Tereze … this morning as I was putting out my daily food bowl for the feral felines in my neighborhood, I thought about what you said about the waste of electricity with the holiday lights. I decided, right there and then, that I would purrrchase one of those little doggie igloos, and put a heated pad in it for the poor outdoor forgotten cats (versus putting out holiday lighting).
Sarah … WELL SAID!
Suzanna … have a happy, safe and blessed trip!
Delatonja … good question … At what point would you suggest supporting a bipolar person is no longer healthy for the supporters? I’ll “second” that question … ANYONE?
To LEESA: Thanks for the good wishes for my trip! As exhausting and confusing as it was – I needed a wheelchair in Dallas/FW to get from my arrival to my departure (it was about an acre away)- I made it here to Austin in one piece!
My Mom looks great – just a little more fragile than I remembered. I’m here to celebrate her 82 birthday, after all. Looking at her is like looking in a mirror – I’d forgotten how much like her I look! None of my other biological siblings have any psychiatric diagnoses – but as my sister-in-law said – perhaps they’re just “undiagnosed!”
I’m staying in a GREAT resort; coffee maker, king-size bed – but I do miss a microwave and a refrigerator! It was nearly freezing when I got here last night – but it was balmy and about 75 today!
My brother is getting back tonite at Midnight from our Aunt’s wake. I’ll be sooo glad to see him tomorrow! Two years ago, he made a special trip to VA to help me with the closing on my condo; he’s a super guy – only two years younger than me, and married for 35 years!
I’m going to get ready for bed soon. Have to get ready for the big birthday bash! We went out and got a cake today; saves having to bake one!
BIG HUGS to all those with bipolar disorder, and the ones who love them. My prayers are with you; stay sane!
Hi, my answer to Q? When is supporting a bypolar no longer
healthy?
When in an episode they become
violent or threating toward you.
Or your not taking good care of you
first as the only supporter.
Both can be very unhealthy situations and dangerous.
Alexa