==>>Help with ALL aspects of bipolar disorder<<==
Check out all my resources, programs and information
for all aspects of bipolar disorder by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
Hi,
How’s it going?
What a day Thursday was. I had so much mail
it was hard to believe. Two giant crates of mail.
I had a few people write me from jail.
I had lots of letters to read.
It’s getting hard to respond to everyone.
Anyway, don’t worry this isn’t a “let’s feel
bad for Dave” email today. I have an important
thing to talk about.
A few days ago, some kid did something really, really
bad. You probably heard. He killed 9 or 10 people.
I have been flooded with emails and calls asking
if I think the kid has bipolar disorder.
It’s kind of offensive to me that every time something
bad happens someone thinks it because someone has
bipolar disorder.
I have no idea. At the end of the day, there will be
no real logical reason that someone would go to a
mall and kill innocent random people.
BUT, I wanted to send this out and say the following.
All people with bipolar disorder are not killers…
obviously.
There are many people with bipolar disorder who do super
well in society. They are inventers, teachers, leaders,
sales people, car people, moms, dads, computer people,
artists, etc. You name it, they are it.
You can’t jump and assume that all bad
in the world is from someone with bipolar disorder.
Does everyone in the world that shoots
someone have bipolar disorder? NO. Some are
just evil. And there are other reasons.
Sometimes no reason.
BUT, it’s important for people to understand
that you just can’t blame all bad on bipolar
disorder like I said before.
You have to be real careful. I will tell you
a story. Back when my brother was talking
to us (my mom, dad, and myself), I remember
that if my mom would say the slightest thing,
or express any emotion about anything, my brother
would say, “is she in an episode AGAIN?!?!” He would
then laugh and roll his eyes.
It was right after we got a “foothold” in stability
with my mom– about 9 months after she went
into her major bipolar episode. I got so annoyed with
my brother’s comments that I said, “Look, everything
isn’t bipolar. Cut her some slack. She is human
you know?!?!”
He got all mad at me and didn’t’ speak to me for about
a week. I was like “whatever?” It’s odd considering
he is older than me. You would think that he would
be giving me the lectures not the other way around.
Anyway, back to my point. IF you think something
is bipolar related and you are a supporter. I think
it’s best that you don’t blurt out “are you in
an episode?” Rather, “you do a quiet investigation.”
In my courses/systems
SUPPORTING AN ADULT WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/report11
SUPPORTING A CHILD/TEEN WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.bipolarparenting.com
HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER?
Visit:
http://www.survivebipolar.net
I teach how to do this a to z.
But let me give you some info in this email.
You can do the following:
-See if the person is taking his/her medications
-Have you notice any other signs
-Is the person sleeping?
-Is the person seeing a doctor regularly?
-How about a therapist?
-Has there been a change in season?
-Look at your results from your last PEA if
you have one
-Is there a good reason for the thing that happen
to occurred? For example, let’s say your loved one
was driving and someone spit on their car, 90%
of people would be super mad and talk about it. Maybe
even talk about finding and getting even with the
person. That’s kind of normal and wouldn’t be a
sign of an episode GENERALLY. Know what I mean now?
It’s interesting how on the one hand, if someone
has bipolar disorder and gets mad because someone
is mean to them, people around them thing they
are going into an episode. If this was the case,
90% of my friends would have bipolar disorder in
the gym. I have friends that get mad if the
THINK someone looked at them wrong :).
Okay that’s not healthy but that’s another story.
As a side note, when ever someone is mean to
me or gives me a dirty look, I always smile
really big and say “hi, how’s it going?” They
get really confused and then say hi back because
I said hi.
Back to the lesson, after you ask yourself all
the questions I just listed, you then can see if
it’s an episode or not.
I notice that 95% of the time when someone
asks all these questions the answers tell
them if it’s a sign of a bipolar episode.
Make sense?
Hope so.
IMPORTANT REQUEST
If you have bipolar disroder, I want you
to post on my blog about how it makes you
feel when people do what I talked about
tod.
Well with that said I have to run and go
to the good old gym.
Catch you tomorrow.
Your Friend,
Dave
P.S. Don’t forget to take a look through the
different programs I’ve put together… each one is designed
to help you with a different area of bipolar disorder whether
you have it or you are supporting someone with it.
You can see them all and get the details by visiting:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/catalog.asp
P.P.S. Check out my F.ree blog with copies of emails
that I have sent in the past and lots of great
information for you:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog/
P.P.P.S Check out my F.ree podcast. Hear me give
mini seminars designed to teach you information
you can’t learn anywhere else.
http://bipolarcentral.libsyn.com
I am personally dealing with bipolar disorder in myself. My problems are not that everyone always thinks I am ‘in an episode’, but just the opposite. My wife can hardly tell and never says a word. My kids just ignore me when I get angry and attack. (Then I feel really bad after). My therapist thinks that it may not be an episode and my doctor as kind as she is thinks I am a fully functional bipolar because in the 15 minutes I am in her office, I don’t show many outward signs. I do communicate and ask questions, but I don’t always know what to ask. I can seem to act like a relatively ‘normal’ person when I am at work in sales and with customers. I am pretty good about putting on a show, but that isn’t ever how I feel. I have always believed that I should NEVER bring my personal problems to work. It is my work ethic. Sometimes, I just can’t help it. Any ideas or input?
Dave, I am a bp and I am dealing with am episode at this point. I notice I get mad a lot over the slightest things. My boyfriend see’s my manic every day and wonders how Im doing minute to minute. Even I wonder that myself. Im reading a book calld “The Bipolar Handbook” by Wes Burgess to learn what I can. Is this a wise idea? And is this guy good at what his talking about?
I personally haven’t had that happen because the only people who know I have the disorder at this point are my non chalonte husband who I don’t really think believes that I have the disorder ( my neuropsychiatrist doesn’t know what shes talking about) and my son and daughter. My son is 22. I think he kind of understands now about things that have happened in the past. My daughter is 14 and thinks its a big joke. Kind of like your brother Dave. I don’t really believe she thinks its real. She just thinks she has a weird mother.
How do I feel when something like that happens? At the moment I feel put down. But in yime I expect I’ll harden to it and join uin the joke, just as I now do when I get jokes made about my deafness. The point is, BD is a “normal” thing that occurs in Life. If we get upset about everythong others joke about we’d be miserable or angry all the time. The best thing to do is try to see the joke, the funny side, may be make a joke in return at the other guy. I used to work with a cuple of guys, one of them “black” from the Liverpool Toxteth area. One of the managers used to make fun of bhis colour all in jest. He’d call him some kind of racial name, usually the “n” word! This guy turned back on his and said, “Well by the look of your curly black hair, your mum probably slept with a N###r!!” and they BOTH laughed. My point is … we have to find something funny about BD to ake it more tolerable, to protect ourselves from feeling hurt when otgers make a joke about it. After all, they don’t (usually) mean any hurt by it. So, we must try NOT to be hurt by them, and the best way to do that is to try and find the funny side of their jokes.
Keith,I can relate to your issues as I am also a Bipolar. I know that I can go thru a day like a normal person, or as close to it as I can get and I only snap at my children. My daughters are 5 and 7. Then I feel so bad for the entire day that I am almost in tears. I do better that night with them but i have to really work on it. With out my meds I would not even be able to restrain at all and I would snap at everyone. I have thought long and hard about this, meaning, I think about it everyday. I think the drugs only get me in the “zone” that I need to be in and the next step is “behavioral”. I am the only person that can control that. I think that I need to sharpen up more by going to counciling. If I was in a relationship with an open understanding woman so I could “air” these problems and have a sounding board in that person, it would help. The bottom line is that it is up to me and the drive to be better at being normal is there because of how much I love my girls! I also think that in the Dr.`s world it is all about get them in and out. I feel like that when I get in there for an appt.. So it is crucial that you tell the Dr. what you are doing and the issues that you have. My Dr. only responds to what I tell him. So if I tell him everything is going great he asks few questions. If I tell him that I still get off task and still have focus issues and I still get side tracked all day long and dont complete my tasks and that it takes me longer to finish this because of the focus issues then he will look at the problem. I f I tell him I only snap at the ones I love and that I still have social issues and that I tend to talk down to people at times then he can help. I need to work on this as well. I thank you for putting your blog up so that it raises my awareness of my issues and how to work on it. Thanks and good luck with it. I should say luck has no part in life. Not good luck but get on it as only you can fix your problems! And again as this is my first time finding this site, thatnk you Keith for your post! It has motivated me!
Hi there,
My name is Robyn and I want to say I really appreciate your mail, Ive only statred getting them. My ex boyfriend just got diagnosed with bp. Amung othere problems (which I think now go back to the diagnosis) we have communication problems. I love him so much but he has pushed me completely out of his life. I have tried and tried and now I have told him I am moving on. I love him and want to help him, when is it too much. The more I learn about bp the more alot of things in the last three years have made sence. What do you think? Move on? Continue to keep my distance? He says that he will probaly never be better and I dont want to give up on him. Please help…
I need help!
I have been harassed by my boss for over 6 months. I even went so far as to have been required to email a letter from my Dr. to state that I am a Bipolar and also suffer from AD HD. I did this and my Employer, that is a major Insurance Company still fired me.
I need to get information together and get an attourney. I am in Colorado. Any prior knowledge or people that have dealt with this would be great. I think just a point in direction to find a listing for civil rights atty`s is my first issue. Thanks, John
Dave,
I am glad that you are making a statement in your blog about the subject of bipolar and violence or murder. It is amazing how people seem to automatically relate violence such as murder sprees to bipolar disorder. It is important for everyone to understand that bipolar is not the only mental health issue that people face. I studied criminal psychology and criminology, and though I am no expert, I can put my assure you that usually people who commit these types of crimes, or who are serial killers, are dealing with a mental health issue much stronger than bipolar. Bipolar is not something we need to fear, but someone who is a sociopath is (ex; serial killers). Usually someone with bipolar is more likely to hurt themselves rather than other people. If this kid was bipolar, he was dealing with much greater issues than the disorder, he was deperate, lonely, depressed, enraged, and wanted to die that day. My assumption is that he went on a massive killing spree to make a statement, to be heard, and to be recognized in a world that did not otherwise acknowledge him the way he wanted to be. Bioplar would have nothing to do with this. Most if not all people with bipolar have very big hearts and feel remorse for their wrongdoings.
I can certainly understand what you are saying! Even though I take my medication, I feel like I am in a constant battle of using all my tools to be “of the norm”. Althugh, my bipolar acts out in trying to “get going” and not just “sit there” or to the other extreme totally off the wall and going, going, going to the point where my fiancee calls me a B !All, you can do is tell them! Hey! it is one of those times & not pretend! It is only hurting you &them by not being honest! Here is a link for today for a great Christmas Bipolar Song for all to enjoy!yourhealthandhappiness@partner.beliefnet.com Hang In There! Ali
Hi David,
Thanks for the daily updates.
I still wish you’d allow me to edit your post. The grammar oops are a little distracting to a writer…but the heart and soul that comes through is addicting to the reader.
In response to your email avalanche…CNN did a special on the Mall attack. What struck me the most and smacked of a little bias, was the analogy of the killer to the man who held hostage the Clinton Campaign headquarters.
He was an admitted Bipolar attempting to make a point. The interview airing came during the coverage of the Mall attack.
I’ve been a supporter of a BP individual living in Quebec. This is a gentle soul, but I feel queasy thinking that there are millions of people viewing CNN and connecting the dots to the conclusion that all BP people can cause real pain. There were no disclaimers in this interview – the subliminal were frightening.
This,in my opinion, keeps those people with mental health, especially BP from finding a balance. Because of fear and discrimination they hide far too often, never receiving the joys and love due them.
I wish you could expand your work to campaign more for a more fair portrayal of what this disease is really like…the up sides (the geniuses) and the downsides, the long road to emotional balance and freedom.
Thanks again sweet man.
Barbara Cerda
I am a nurse at a major university hospital and have been there for 23 years. I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 years ago. I decided to tell my workmates my diagnosis and for the most part they were kind and understanding. Of course there are always a few with snide comments and humor is always a great way to respond. One workmate said, “Pam, don’t listen to the voices.” I quipped back,”But they keep telling me to hurt you and I say NO! not Trish she’s my friend.” She laughed and said she deserved that but I noticed she never said anything like that again.On the other hand I have also had my husband and daughter approach me and tell me they thought I was getting manic and my knee jerk reaction is they’re the ones that are crazy but with two of them who love me and have my best interests at heart I listen and take more medication as the doctor directed me to when I’m flying to high or getting irritable. If you want to read a good book on what it’s like for the bipolar supporter read “What Goes Up…” It gave me a lot of empathy for what I have put my family through.
It hurts to write this. But my brother has never cared enough about this disorder or me to know whether I’m well or in an “episode” or not. I believe he thinks I’m in an episode at all times now, that it affects my thinking no matter what I’m doing or saying. I don’t think he realizes that medications have stabilized me or that I have been non episodic for over 8 months now. The problem I’m facing is that even though I go to work and everyone there and at school thinks I’m perfectly normal; I go to my psychiatrist and my therapist and they think I’m doing great; my finances are in a shambles. This is not due to a manic overspending episode,but due to insufficient income on disability and high rent. I’m trying so hard to catch up on rent and I’m not making it. And I’m so scared that I’m going to be homeless because anybody that would rent to me would check back with my previous landlords to see how I payed my rent. And then won’t rent to me because of my history. I have a dog that’s been with me for 14 years and a cat that I rescued from the gutter when she was about 4 days old who is a year and half. And house full of beautiful furniture from my “old” life. So this bipolar is going to get me in the end anyway one way or another.I could use any help or suggestions?
David,
I call it ignorance. Educate the ones you love about this and you will get understanding. If they still don’t understand well then we all know what that means….. they are completely hopeless.LOL
I refuse to go to my mother’s house simply because my step father and half sister don’t know anything about this illness and I have disappointed them enough in the past and their lack of understanding makes things get ugly. And now that I am stable I never want to deal with them triggering me into an episode it is not worth it to me.
We need protection from idiots. Thank you David.
Peace
Tere
John in Colorado – I am in Colorado too. My husband has bp disorder and it’s been just a horrendous month. Horrendous – the root being horror!
We of course, have no money. So, therefore, no therapy, no meds. We are desperate for help. Have you found any treatment? My husband is getting worse but we have ZERO access to health-care.
What’s a dedicated and compassionate couple to do?
Peace!,
DSW
Thank you so much for that! Seems like since being diagnosed with BPD in August everytime something bad happens in society it is blamed on BPD. My 32-yr-old daughter prefers not to acknowledge BPD rather than discuss it. I do have several friends who are strong supports, and some who have written me off entirely. I didn’t choose this but am so relieved that it finally has a name and there is treatment. Thank you for what you do, David.
Fortunately, I’ve never been asked, “Are you in an episode?” other than when my Mom and my best friend TRIED an intervention during my last hospitalization. And THEN, my Mom asked me what SHE did to make me so angry with her.
No, it’s NOT comfortable for bipolar disorder to be blamed for a psychotic breakdown that causes someone to shoot down innocent people in a Mall. Maybe this guy was strictly homicidal, and something “snapped” and he couldn’t control himself. Yes, there ARE people with bipolar disorder who commit murder – AND – murder-by-cop, who feel that “going out in a blaze of glory” is what they are seeking to take them out of their depressive misery. But – of course – not all killers are bipolar, and not ALL bipolars are killers – that’s a GIVEN.
Usually, when I’m in a manic episode, I draw people to me, and am drawn to other people. It’s a peaceful and spiritual connection. Of course, just as suddenly as the mania appears, so do the “bad things” happen (like a car wreck that wasn’t my fault), and I’m confused and disoriented as to how I “got there.” Being hospitalized and having my meds tweaked, usually solves the mania problem.
All the PEAs in the world won’t stop a “sick” person from committing mayhem. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” But I agree with Dave – if you sense something comletely wrong with your loved one with bipolar, ask the questions, and if you get answers you’re not comfortable with, insist they see their doctor/therapist and get things straightened out before someone gets hurt.
BIG HUGS to all those with bipolar disorder, and the ones who love them. My prayers are with you.. Stay sane.
This sort of prejudice really doesn’t help to get people to admit they may be bipolar and go for help. My ex-husband came to see me the other day and he is really not well. I just cannot convince him to see a doctor. As soon as I mention anything he says I am controlling etc. and I am the one who should see a shrink. Maybe I should! At present I am so stressed out with my two bipolar men: my ex-husband is still a friend but won’t accept any advice and my current man, although religiously taking his medicine, is very down at the moment. We usually manage to cheer each other up and look on the bright side, but right now I’m a bit down myself. You may think he would want to be with positive people, but instead he goes off with an ex-girlfriend who is extremely negative. I will have to hang on in there – I know he’ll be back. Anyway, both these men are very gentle and loving people, without an aggressive bone in them. To say that all psychopathic killers are bipolar is crazy. You may as well say that all smokers are bipolar! If someone is of an aggressive nature it is possible that s/he is worse during a manic episode in the same way that an alcoholic is worse when s/he is drunk. I once had a landlady who was bipolar and refused to admit it, saying the doctors and therapists were all mad not her. She smoked heavily, drank heavily and smoked dope nearly every night. She was also very aggressive, mainly verbally, though during certain times of the month it was wise to stay out of her way and not take chances,as she has been known to attack people physically. I have often wondered if bipolar women maybe worse affected than bipolar men as they also have their menstrual cycles and hormonal changes to deal with. I also knew a dangerously aggressive alcoholic woman, who was Not bipolar. There is a list of famous bipolar people online, which is very interesting. There are very few politicians and scientists. The vast majority of famous bipolar people are musicians, actors, writers and artists.
Sorry, Ali, that link for the song doesn’t work. It looks like an email address more than a web address.
I’ve recently been diagnosed with bipolar(about 3 months ago)and wanted to reply to your question about how I would feel or handle someone spitting on my car or giving dirty looks,I,myself,concerning the first situation,would,of course,be pissed off but my way of dealing with that kind of stuff has usually been to’give it back to them’ and make it their problem,and hope some day they will have to deal with it in some way as in KARMA.Believing in KARMA has,in many ways,saved my life! As for dirty looks,I am always the first to smile and say hi because as another coping ‘skill’if I get a smile back(and usually do) it makes me feel good and will bring me out of my ‘black hole’,if even only temporary. I am 50 years of age and self medicated for over half of my life and am addicted to meth but have been in recovery for 51/2 months (with a couple relapses)Have beem diagnosed with adhd as well as bipolar and am in the frightening stage of trying to get the right cocktail if meds. But not having much support for most of my adult life somehow created my own coping skills ,in addition to self medicating. And everything at once is very difficult to deal with,along with other major life changes.Finding a knowledgable and affordable Doc. is very frustrating. Sorry to go so off the topic.
someone blaming every behavior they perceive as annoying or irrational on an “episode” is like a guy dismissing his girlfriend’s feelings or complaints by saying she’s premenstrual; it’s just their way of not wanting to take the effort to understand what’s going on.
What insight you have, Dave!!!!
I can have a bad day & cry & THE FIRST THING my wonderful, well-meaning husband does is get out an encyclopedia, proceeds to look up bipolar & says “honey, this is not good”. lol, but not at the time he did this. I got furious! I have several co-workers who always say “Matha, you are so much fun to be around & we miss you so much when you are not here(I only work part-time now). Yet when I made the decision to cut back on my hours at work to go back to school full-time to get my Master’s in Clinical Psychology,I confided in a close friend & co-worker of mine who I knew was completely without bias. I have always been emotional & maybe more so because I AM bipolar. Well- another co-worker noticed my puffy eyes & soon the rumors were spreading like wildfire – “Something is wrong with Matha – she is having one of her depresive episodes”. My boss called me into her office & asked If I was o.k. Nothing remiss about being concerned, but afterward she asked other co-workers if I was REALLY o.k. lol – AND I WORK IN A COUNSELING ENVIRONMENT!!!! Sooo misunderstood, we are! No, I agree with other of my fellow comrades, NO, No, No! Being bipolar does not make one a killer! Having said this I’m not saying there has never been a killer dx’d with bipolar disorder. It is a complex disorder to say the least. Well-meaning(?), but ignorant people make sweeping generalizations by asking questions like “Was that killer bipolar”? I analogize that question by asking those who wonder- Were any of the unfortunate victims bipolar & decide to join him in the rage? Right – that question from me sounds as stupid as the one from those who wonder if “that person” killed because he was bipolar?
I have always worked hard at professional jobs for years, as opposed to my mom(who is dually dx’d with severe bipolar disorder and schizo-effective disorder). She appears “normal” – not a word I am using flippantly). She was not ever highly functioning enough to hold a job. Her mom and step-dad would always say about me – “Well at least Matha keeps a good job”! ARGH!!!! My mom had a brain aneurysm at the age of 59 eight yrs. ago & a month before this she began exhibiting behavior more severe than what we generally experienced with her mood swings. Well she said some horrible things to my sister and to me. One of my younger sisters – I was 36 & she was 34, said “OMG, she is having one of her episodes”. I said “Mechelle, have you considered the fact she has 3 blood blisters in one of the veins next to her temple & THIS SURGERY COULD KILL HER OR LEAVE HER INCAPACITATED FOR LIFE? GIVE HER A BREAK!!! Like Dave has experienced, there are family members who will never try to understand the disorder. My sister was ALWAYS that way…She actually seems to thrive in it bless her heart.
Well, I’ve gone on & on – not surprisingly. 🙂
Everyone take care,
Matha
my 18 yr old daughter whose career was figure skating, has left home, i found her in the street on july 2, she was rocking back and forth saying why doesnt he love me?? i tried to get her up she punched me,then next day she left home and lives with boy and mother, she hardly skates, is constantly angry , calls my mother the devil )shes 87) gained weight, sleeps till 12, one day she says she going to do kickboxing, then school, then record a christmas album, is paranoid with me,says cruel unbearable things to me via text, has road rage, talks tough all the time, has a superior, you cant hurt me attitude, quit her job, colored her hair, wears only black, always had a temper as a kid, and inconsistent with everything, but as long as she lived with me, i was able to keep it under control, she was happy and lighter then, she seems oppressed now,has a dark look in her eyes, and changing her mind and voice all the time, i walk on eggs shells when i am with her which is rare, she has just cut me out of her life and we were soo close, ive been to a psychologist a few months to help deal with her and he now says she is bipolar, but will need a meltdown to get her to get help and meds, that is scary and sad, i cant tell her shes’ bip or she will flip out, she says i belong in a mental home and i am unstable, and then one night shell call me crying,,,,the next day, its like it never happened, im in hell with this momsal
YES it does drive me up the wall. But because its usually my mom, who I know I can trust to be pretty wise about it, I try(TRY) to remember to be open-minded…but it is hard-at the time I am not ready to listen.
It truly does disappoint me that persons almost automatically assume BPD as the reason for violence. I am Bi-Polar and suffer from PTSD as does my sister. We had been physically, mentally, sexually abused, molested and sodomized from the ages of 9 and 10. When I am manic I am super-woman. Nothing can stop me from starting many things at a time (knowing that this time I am going to get it all done, all anyone has to do is trust and believe in me). But then as we all know, the euphoria goes away, energy level comes crashing down, depression sets in. All intentions are marked as failure once again. I feel depressed, angry at myself because I let everyone down again. I tell people to go away, leave me alone, I don’t deserve friendships, I would rather be dead. I then go into a severe depression and take a tranquilizer or two to escape life. This past summer I was treated badly by the Court System, left to ‘state my case’ by myself in the Court Room twice (lawyers quit me at a last minutes notice). As the last straw had been placed on the camels back, I had at that time attempted to slash my wrists in front of 2 sheriffs, and the persons I was suing in Court. State Police showed and I was taken to the ER and transferred to a mental ward after my 13 stitches in my left wrist were put in. But to want to kill someone else …….. I have never thought that way. My thoughts have often been to make a statement by maybe blowing my brains out right in front of the persons who harmed me in my past or present. But to do harm to someone else has never entered my thoughts. I believe God does the judging and He takes care of the “what goes around comes around twice as hard if not harder”.
Dave, I feel that a person’s past has a lot to do with bi-polar. My son’s father-in-law had been diagnosed with bi-polar many years ago. He does get very angry and snappy, but just this very year he has finally faced the facts of his being raped as an early teen. His thinking (I can only speculate from the way he talks) is “Get me the Hell out of this world because it just Hurts too much.” as is my thinking in my depression.
God Bless all good Souls.
And thanks Dave for taking time to care.
momsal,
It is like Deja’Vu listening to you describe your daughters irrational behavior. That is the manic phase under stress….YOUR Daughter is in CRISIS. I am not a professional but I am a BP survivor at this point. I know what would have worked for me and what definately did not work for me. This is my opinion and experience talking.
The best time to approach her is when she is depressed not manic about seeing a doctor that can help her get through the stress. Explain to her that she is not alone that there are Millions each year diagnosed with this. That she is not crazy but a very intelligent young woman destined for great things and we all suffer with illnesses even you. It is not weakness to admit we have a problem it is weakness to deny it.
If I were in your shoes as a supporter I would print out the information about BP and recommend that she take some time to read the information.
The first step is getting her to acknowledge she is having problems.
Then encourage her by letting her know that getting help is the only way to overcome the illness.
You are all ANGELS for loving and supporting us through the madness!!!!!!!
David has this information about BP symtoms on this page:
http://www.bipolarcentral.com/aboutbipolar.asp
Keep educating yourself! Take care of yourself as well if you are unhealthy you are in no position to lend a hand. You need relaxation and security too. Make the time to do it.
Peace and God Bless,
Tere
To NIGHTLADY: You MAY have something there about women being MORE affected by bipolar moods than men. My last hospitalization was when I was 29; however, I had several outpatient manic episodes since then.
What I’m trying to say is, our menstrual cycles MIGHT have something to do with our instability. I have been postmenapausal since about age 40; and have NOT been hospitalized for the past 30 years.
However, two years ago I had two hypomanic episodes that were treated outpatient. The first, in June 2005, was because they had taken PaxilCR off the market, for some reason, and the docs were playing with my meds; I was experimented with Prozac, Welbutrin, you name it. I was QUITE psychotic.
The second episode was in December 2005, after I had returned from WY. I had the FLU, big-time, with a high fever. My psychiatrist noticed my bizarre behavior; I couldn’t even drive my car – had a fender-bender, and let someone else drive me. One of the most telling situations was; I had taken a nap that afternoon, and when I saw the clock in the living room say “2:00” I thought it was 2:00 in the afternoon, and started taking my morning meds and acting as if it WERE the afternoon. Of course, silly, it was “2:00” in the morning! I wasn’t eating properly, but my girlfriend brought me a Christmas platter, and I “scarfed” it down! My friends rallied around me, even though they knew I was NOT in my right mind.
Well, I’ve gotten quite off the subject, but I DO agree that women have much more to deal with hormonally than do men.
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Hello DSW and all.
I will be working on finding out if there are any programs for people that qualify for either meds or healthcare.
I will hrow a note on here ASAP.
EVERYTHING IS ABOUT ME AND MY BI-POLAR i KNOW IT IS CRAZY AND THAT I CAN BE BUT IT SEEMS SO HOPELESS WHEN NOBODY CARES ENOUGH TO TRY AND UNDERSTAND. I STRUGGLE EVER DAY, IT IS A CONSTANT BATTLE, I DIDNT ASK TO BE LIKE THIS AND I HATE IT! I HATE IT FOR MY BOYS MOST OF ALL, GOD BLESS THEM, THEY DONT UNDERSTAND, I CANT GAIN CONTROL AND I TRUELY HAVE THE SUPPORT OF NO ONE AND I AM SO MESSED UP WHAT DO I DO! GOD KNOWS I WISH SOMEONE WOULD TAKE ME BY THE HAND! I GETTING REALLY TIRED AND THINKING EVERYONE WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME AND MY CRAZYNESS
Debbie,
You are not alone many of us have been where you are at. Don’t give up on yourself or your boys. Believe it or not they need you very, very much. It is normal to feel like a burden with this illness because others just don’t understand it and they get frustrated with us and we also feel the same frustration with ourselves.
You need to get your meds adjusted from the sounds of it. I hope you have a good doctor. If you are on a few meds then maybe one of them is making you feel like this but DON’T STOP TAKING THEM UNTIL YOU HAVE SPOKEN WITH YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT CHANGING YOUR MEDS, you still need meds and if you go off of them then you will have worse problems. Trust me on that!
If you have a Spiritual connection you will also find a greater strength that is outside of yourself. God loves you more than you know, even when it doesn’t feel like it. We are never alone if we allow God into our lives. Forgive yourself for all things, no one is perfect.
Evil is that voice you listen to that says you are no good, you are a burden, things will never get better. Start feeding your spirit with I am a good person, a good mother, a conquerer.
You are beautiful Debbie you must tell yourself how beautiful you are whenever you have a negative thought you must say no that is a lie…. I am beautiful!!!! It will take a while but if you keep at it and get the meds right then you will believe it!!!!
Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer are both ministers online and they offer hope and encouragement. It was my listening to them that helped to bring me out of many funks.
I am praying for you and your boys. I have 3 boys myself and I too wanted to end my life as you spoke of, but their faces are what kept me from following through with it. God told me they would be worse off without me. It would ruin them for life if I took my life. Think of the guilt they would have to carry for the rest of their lives.
Many blessings are in store for you I know it.. Have HOPE!!
Tere
Debbie,
Below is a direct site to Joyce Meyer’s Battlefield of the Mind. It will work on several media players.
http://www.joycemeyer.org/OurMinistries/EverydayAnswers/The+Battle+In+Your+Mind/Video/
After you listen to Joyce there is a woman’s testimony that I think will ring true for any of us with mental illness.
Tere
Debbie,
I don’t know why that link didn’t post right.
I’ll try again.
http://www.joycemeyer.org/OurMinistries/EverydayAnswers/The+Battle+In+Your+Mind/Video/
If that doesn’t work, on her main page joycemeyer.org you go into the tab “our ministries” then click on “everyday answers” then under the picture that is labeled “Battlefield of the Mind” click on “view video from Joyce” in blue lettering under the picture.
It is only because it is so good that I make the extra effort to post it again.
Tere
Hi~ Nightlady, it is an email addy, you just go to that site and you can see “The twelve days of Bipolar Christmas” link, I couldn’t post the actual direct link. Tere~ You give such inspirational advice, Thank You! I loved the advice that yo gave to Debbie! So many times I walked in her shoes!! The link that you gave her is great! Thanks! I just wanted to say that! & BTW~ David~ As far as those people that say you aren’t helping anyone…WHAT? That is my response! I for one amforever greatful that I found your site! & have found your mini-course extremely insightful and helped me quite a bit! Ali
I personaly deal with bipolar and if I’m alittle “down” or anything my family “fraks out” they always think “something” is wrong, can’t I be human and have a “BAD” day? Why can’t other just give us a break or cut us some slack?
I agree that the negative stima associated with bipolar is over the top. I have a husband and a daughter both diagnosed with bipolar and the fact is that it makes me sad to see that people buy into the negative press hook line and sinker. Individuals with bipolar are not bad people. They are people who struggle each and every day. It is important that those around them love them and help differentiate when their grand feelings are just that and when they are valid. It takes strong individuals to live life as a bipolar individual. I truly feel that the people who love them can make all of the difference. I have a blog http://www.bipolarkidconnection.com in which I hope to eventually have a place that bipolar children can discuss and share their experiences. I have a lot of work ahead but know that it is a big step in assuring that these children feel “normal” and are loved. It will also be a place where families and their children can learn new information and share experiences. I hope that you and your readers will pop in and explore as all of the changes are happening. I know that it will soon be something wonderful for all of us that support loved ones with bipolar disorder.
Becca
I agree that the negative stima associated with bipolar is over the top. I have a husband and a daughter both diagnosed with bipolar and the fact is that it makes me sad to see that people buy into the negative press hook line and sinker. Individuals with bipolar are not bad people. They are people who struggle each and every day. It is important that those around them love them and help differentiate when their grand feelings are just that and when they are valid. It takes strong individuals to live life as a bipolar individual. I truly feel that the people who love them can make all of the difference. I have a blog http://www.bipolarkidconnection.com in which I hope to eventually have a place that bipolar children can discuss and share their experiences. I have a lot of work ahead but know that it is a big step in assuring that these children feel “normal” and are loved. It will also be a place where families and their children can learn new information and share experiences. I hope that you and your readers will pop in and explore as all of the changes are happening. I know that it will soon be something wonderful for all of us that support loved ones with bipolar disorder.
Becca