As submitted

I have found a variety of people willing to listen and understand that I have bipolar. It is my family and close friends that don’t seem to grasp it. They see that somedays I function close to normal, then wam I do things I wouldn’t have done in my right mind. They do not understand why I can’t be okay all the time. To be honest I have not a clue as to why I can’t either! I feel that by declaring my disorder is a cop out, and I should be able to be normal.

I just read Today’s email “An Amazing
Thing about Bipolar Disorder”. I clicked on the blog to respond and I ended up here for supporters of loved ones, even though I am the one with Bipolar Disorder. Second time writing a response. Do you read these, David?
I want to comment on why I was silent. In part, it is the old stigma, of people with mental health issues, are not capable. I feared that if people knew that I had a mental health issue that (1) they wouldn’t hire me(2) that they wouldn’t trust me (3) that they would believe I wasn’t capable…
capable of doing my job, capable of
teaching their children, capable of handling everyday situations, etc.
I don’t think I felt ashamed. I also think my problem was a form of denial that something was wrong with me.(after all I was well educated and even had a high grade point average). You know truthfully, all people hide their inadequacies and fears, and put on a mask of some sort. Some, who believe they have no problems at all, wear a mask of superiority or snobbery, or even worse RACISM, SEXISM, etc. People rarely let down their masks until something serious happens or it’s discovered that they are not all that normal. That every human struggles with our humanity. We just need to be more open and accepting of each individual’s differences! God created us each with our own uniqueness. How boring the world would be without that difference!
Each person facing a crisis in their life must learn how best to cope with the situation: physical illness(cancer), economic dilemna
(financial debts), loss of job or loved ones, or like me(mental health illness-bipolar disorder).
In natural disasters, there is no distinction of people: race, religion, political affiliation,
economic status, gender, sexual
preference, or mental disorder.
Each person in the path of a natural disaster must suffer the devastation. Just like each family member needs to rally around and support a loved one, in this type
of situation, that how it has to be with anyone struggling with any health issue:mental, emotional, physical, whatever. We need not be ashamed, but press on! Doing what we must to survive and live well.
Someone with bipolar suffers and struggles with all: mental, emotional, physical and social stigma. Finally, it is becoming more readily recognized and much more known and spoken about it. So,
we no longer have to be ashamed to admit it and deal with it openly.
However, I believe that if it was mentioned at a job interview, you
would not get the job. So, again
the cover up…til there’s a crisis or episode and employment separation. Most of us, are capable and able to function. Some of us better than others at masking it.
It is more commonly spoken of “others” but still a great risk for someone to admit it openly about themselves. It is not as obvious as
race or even questionable like gender or sexual orientation. But
each have to struggle with their burden in life, learn how to overcome and do their best. God is there to help us carry our burdens.
At times, He even has carried all
of it, for me, when I’m too weary.
The life of a bipolar can leave them very weary after struggling through an episode. But we are never alone!!! I believe my recovery is in my faith and in the hands of my God who gives me the wisdom, in His Word, “that I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.” And I do. In the past, with all I’ve done, that could have been in my mania stage.
But His Word guides me and tells me, “come to Me all you who are heavy burden and I will give you REST..” and is has and does. I am grateful for the valleys and the mountaintops. And I can see the
VICTORY! I can be an OVERCOMER!
I am RECOVERED and RECOVERING each day that I make it to the next day
HEY AMBER, don’t give up!!!When I was 18, it was like that for me. Now I’m over 50. WHAT’S the name of that GREAT BOOK?

As A response to Britney I can Understand Completely what your saying ,Perhaps it was easier to talk to these stangers in the hair salon beacause they were just that strangers They havent been witness to the years of drama that come from the episodes we endure and bring our families along for the ride.I have a brother who was closer to me than any other person ,beacause of suicide attemps ,manic spending,and several boyfriends that was my life ,He now wants nothing to do with me,calls me terrible names and more .This rips my heart ouy I have been managing my illness for a while now and have tried to make peace I didnt even mention the bipolar beacause I know he would thik I was trying to use it as an excuse not a reason,Yes the pain is real but we know in our own hearts whats going on ,thats what I try to hold on to Britney your not alone Take care Heather AKA heather2229 innercircle

THANKS for the Book’s Title Brittnay!
I will check it out! And of course, we’d respond because we know what it’s like! Been there, done that, felt that and….experiences are meant to be shared so we can grow!
Hope you’re doing better! Take care!

To BRITTNAY: Sweetheart, all us “old folks” have been where you are – believe me, you WILL survive it. I know what it’s like to think you have a friend/mentor who will help you when times get tough, and then they turn their backs. I have lost soooo many good friends when I go into a manic episode. Each and every time I was hospitalized (5 different hospitals), I had to start over WITHOUT any support, and leave my “old life” behind. It’s TOUGH out there, Baby.

I can understand why/how you HATE the mental illnesses, but they don’t HAVE to define you. You have a chemical imbalance, and with the right treatment plan, like Dave has outlined before, you CAN/WILL get better. Sometimes it just takes growing up to realize how much you have to live for.

I’m very sorry you have attempted suicide; I’m NOT here to judge just because I’ve never been suicidal. I HAVE had suicidal thoughts, but probably have been too much of a wuss to do anything about them! As long as your boyfriend stands beside you (and your post says he does), you can get strength, love, and self-confidence from him.

Have you thought about approaching a Community Mental Health Clinic to talk to some professionals about your illnesses? It has always helped me to have someone who understands bipolar (and other disorders) to talk out all those racing thoughts and negative vibrations that are going through your head. Most have a sliding scale for payment, so cost shouldn’t be a problem.

I have another good book you might try reading – it’s called THE BIBLE, and there is a lot you can learn from it. My favorite verse uses the words, “Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your MIND.”

Take care of yourself (no cutting, no street drugs, etc.), and pretty soon you’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel. If I can do it, so can you!

God bless you real good.

Hi. I saw ‘Rendition’ w/some A.A. friends, last evening. I didn’t really know anything about it x that it was something about espionage (sp). It was a little difficult to watch in some places, but it was very well, very realistically, very believably done, and I would highly recommend it. Certainly gives you alot to think about, and talk about w/your friends! Ooh, by the way, I HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER.

This is absolutely so true and mirrors my own experiences. The son of my next door neighbor has BP. She shared when I was telling her about the “new diagnosis” my Granddaughter was given. We were relieved to have some direction and answers finally. Though she is only 6, we have had some very rough 3 years from symptoms to help.

Dave,
I have very strong suspecions that my wife has bipolar disorder. She refuses to accept that she may have a problem and keeps saying I am the one with the problem. Everyone that I have spoken to like our family doctor, my physcyatist, and several friends that have family members with it all tell me that there is nothing wrong with me and that it appears that my wife does have it. Any sugestions on how to get her to agree to see someone about it? It is runing our life as a family and I feel completly helpless.

To BRITTNAY: Honey, I KNOW it’s scary. Having a mental illness means that it IS something you CAN’T control – it controls YOU. But that doesn’t mean you can’t reach out and ask for the help you need. I suggest you be honest with your shrink/therapist about EVERYTHING so they will know how to help you.

When I had my first breakdown at 20, I lost my dream job – in the Senate of the U.S., my fiance, my apartment (my Mom had to clear out everything), and my independence. I had to move back home, and start over again. Then – my father died, and I overheard an old friend say –
“I hope this doesn’t make her sick again.” Well, a year later, it did.

In the past 39 years, I’ve had 5 hospitalizations – the last one, 30 years ago. I’ve worked closely with my Community Mental Health Clinic, and am now a highly functional bipolar – I take my meds, sleep regularly, and try to limit stress. I’m on Social Security Disability, so don’t have to worry about working to live.

What I’m trying to say is – I KNOW it’s not easy, and can be VERY scary, not knowing when the illness will strike again. I know I’m not completely “out of the woods,” because this illness doesn’t care who/when it will hit again. I just struggle every day, one step at a time, and before you know it, I feel better. Don’t give up yet, Sweetheart. There are a lot of us who have been where you are – and we’ve survived. You sound like you’re doing all the right things about taking care of yourself, and you also sound pretty plucky/brave.

Just KEEP THE FAITH – it won’t be easy, and it won’t be fun, but you will survive. Give yourself time to mature in the illness; no one conquers it – it is a biochemical imbalance. Our meds are there to help us; no one has ever been cured of bipolar, but a lot of us lead nearly “normal” lives, and I see that in your future.

Take care, and I’m praying for ya:)

Yup, it IS common and I appreciate that SOME people make allowances for this when I tell them.

Nevertheless, I still feel there is some discrimination by employers against job applicants with a history of ANY mental illness. The application form demands you come clean about any medical issues – if you don’t and they find out later it’s a criminal offence of deception. Alarm bells ring in their little heads and the assume, probably correctly, that someone who has a history of mental illness, not least Bi Polars, are going to be ill again! So, we are considered poor prospects. Of course, they are not allowed by Law to discriminate on grounds of “disability”, but try proving they have!